Most days, I still have a hard time processing the fact that I don’t actually belong to Damian. When I hear Kate, and now even Kiran, talk about Alex, I don’t feel anything toward him. Maybe that makes me a horrible person, but I’m not sure I’ll ever think of him as family, let alone my brother.
As the day moved on, I swam, ate lunch, took a nap by the pool then swam again. Now I’m out of the shower and cleaning up for my date with Jared. I called him earlier today and asked him if he still wanted to go out, and he gladly accepted my offer. Jared waited until we were hanging up to mention how I never told him my name. For a moment, I froze, debating what I should tell him.
Damian named me Isabelle but has called me Belle for as long as I can remember. I’ve always thought my name was that of a little girl—or as Callie would say, it’s a princess’s name. I’m not a princess. Hayden was my birth name, but I don’t feel like Hayden. For that reason, I gave him my full name, Isabella, or Izzy for short. There is only one person in the world who calls me Izzy, and the idea that someone else will make me equally happy and sad—sad because I miss Manuel.
I’ve never been on a date before, but I’ve read books and watched enough TV to have an idea of how I should dress. I picked out one of the tighter dresses I brought. I left my hair down but I made sure to wear the only sexy pair of heels I had. After I finished putting the final touches of my make-up on, I hear the house come alive. As I walk down the stairs, Callie’s voice is the loudest as she talks about her first day of school.
“I made new friends, Daddy. Just like you said I would.” I smile.
“I knew you would, baby.”
“I’m not a baby anymore. I’m in kindergarten now,” she tells him.
My heart feels heavy listening to a normal girl talking about her normal day. I love Damian, but it’s moments like these that make it hard not to be mad at him. I never got to come home and talk about my day. Instead, my father sat me on his lap and told me never to trust anyone other than him.
“Uncle Kiran, my new friend Sophie said she doesn’t have a dad. Maybe you could date her so we could be related.” The room breaks out in laughter.
“That’s not how it works. Plus, Kiran should pick out his own dates,” Kate tells her.
“I actually have one this weekend,” Kiran proudly says, causing my heart to drop. He told me no last night. I shouldn’t be surprised, but it doesn’t take the sting out of his comment.
I square my shoulders and turn the corner then walk into the kitchen where everyone except Callie stops what they’re doing to stare at me.
“Wow, Belle, you look amazing,” Kate stumbles out.
“Yeah,” Gavin adds as Kiran’s eyes thin.
“Are you going somewhere?” Kiran questions in a tight voice while his eyes travel down my body.
“Actually, I am. I have a date.” My face reddens.
“A date?” Both Kate and Kiran repeat. I shrug and chew on my lip. “With who?” Kate adds.
“Oh, I guy I met.” I make a point not to look at Kiran, but I can feel tension rolling off him in waves. I can’t understand him. I asked him to go out with me and he turned me down. Now he has a date this weekend but he’s acting mad?
My phone chimes in my hand. I look down to see a text from Jared. “My date’s here.”
“He’s not even going to come in and pick you up?” Gavin questions.
“That’s classy,” Kiran rudely adds, fueling the tension in the room.
“I asked him not to. I don’t live here. It...it didn’t feel right,” I answer defensively.
“Are you sure this guy is okay? I mean, he could take you somewhere and...God, I can’t allow myself to think about what he could do to you.” Kate’s voice cracks, causing my stomach to turn.
I’ve lived my entire life waiting for someone to jump out and grab me. To take me off to God only knows where as some sick form of punishment for my father’s actions. But here in Denver, I have a sense of peace for the first time in my life. Not to mention, I have mace in my handbag and years of self-defense classes.
“I’ll be fine. I promise. I’m ...” I stop and take a deep breath. “I’m not nearly as weak as Damian told you.” Kate’s eyes flash, confirming my suspicions.
“In Damian’s mind, I stopped aging around ten years old.” I lock eyes with Kate, and for the first time since I met her, I want her to have a healthy dose of the life she was saved. “Anyone who’s not able to kill a man on demand is weak in Damian’s eyes.” I laugh off my comment, but nothing I said was funny. Kate opens her mouth as her eyes become glassy.
“When it comes to Damian, it’s probably best you remember you’re not dealing with a normal man.”
My comment crossed the line, but Kate needs a healthy dose of reality—at least my reality. She barely knows Damian, yet she acts as if he’s some type of hero. She has no idea what he’s really capable of.
“I better get going.” The last thing I see before I leave the kitchen is Kate’s shocked face, and I already regret what I said.
“Hey,” I hear seconds before Gavin grabs my arm. “At least give me your phone number. Kiran told me you purchased a new one the other day.” His eyes are thin and he sounds annoyed. I dig my phone out of my bag, unlock it, and then hand it to him. He pushes some numbers then I hear a phone off in the distance ring. “Call me if anything comes up tonight and you need help.” He gives me a weak smile before walking back to the kitchen where I see Kiran standing by the door, watching my every move. I inwardly sigh because tonight has already started off all wrong.
****
Jared ends up being a great first date. He took me to dinner at a nice restaurant then to a nightclub where we sat around and had a few drinks. Throughout the night, Jared was easygoing and made me laugh more than I could remember.
After a couple of drinks at the bar, he suggested we hit the dance floor. Pushing down my nerves, I let myself go and followed his movements, which set my body on fire, but Jared didn’t make a move. Instead, he acted like a perfect gentleman, touching but not crossing a line.
By the time he dropped me off at Kate’s, almost six hours had passed and it was close to midnight. “I have to work a lot this week, but I’d like to take you out again if you’re okay with that,” Jared says with a huge smile.
“I’d like that.”
“This weekend?” he questions, already sounding excited.
“Sure. Call or text me later in the week.” Jared’s eyes bounce back and forth between mine until he leans in and brushes his lips over mine. The kiss was over seconds after it began, and it didn’t leave me with butterflies like I was hoping.
“This weekend,” he repeats. I nod my head and climb out of his car, heading back to Kate’s house. I unlock the door with a key she gave me the other day. I relock the door and lay my head against it, willing my heart to slow down.
“Did you enjoy your evening?” I hear Kiran ask in a harsh tone from behind me. I bring my head up and look into the dark living room to see him sitting in a chair that faces the door...like he was waiting on me.
I raise my chin. “Yes, I did,” I challenge.
Kiran’s lips are pressed tight together as if he’s fighting the urge to say something. “Why are you up so late? Don’t you have work in the morning?” I question, taking a step closer.
“I was waiting on you,” he says as the flutters I was expecting to feel earlier finally make their way to my stomach. “That was nice—”
He frowns at me before cutting me off. “I wasn’t trying to be nice. What you said earlier to Kate? That was a shitty thing to do, not to mention Callie could have overheard you.” Kiran’s comment causes my breath to catch. I already feel awful about the way I acted, but I never thought about how my behavior could have affected that beautiful little girl.
“You’re a guest in this house. You’re a guest in Kate’s house. I suggest you act like it,” he spouts before standing up and walking up the stairs.
My
legs wobble and the urge to cry is strong, but I know better. Tears are a sign of weakness and being weak is never acceptable. Instead of acting like a child, I make my way to my room as guilt overrides any fun I had tonight.
Belle
“Stop crying.” Daddy isn’t yelling but he’s mad. Earlier in the day, we’d gone shopping, and I’d snuck off when the man trailing me wasn’t paying attention. “Do you have any idea what could happen to you if the wrong person had found you?”
I sniffle but I don’t answer him. “Belle, there’s a reason for everything I do. I have men follow you to ensure your safety.” He groans as he runs his hands through his hair. “There won’t be any more shopping trips. If you want something, I’ll send someone out to get it.” My lip quivers as I continue to fight back more tears.
“I think it’s time.” My eyes dart to his deep green ones. I stand motionless, waiting for him to continue. “Belle, I won’t always be here. I think it’s time you learned how to protect yourself. It’s time you learned what the world really has to offer people like us.” My heart sinks to my stomach. I have no idea what he plans, but I can already tell I’m going to hate it.
****
“How was your date?” I snap out of my thoughts when I hear Kate’s voice.
“Good. Thanks,” I reply as my nerves take over. I follow Kate into the kitchen where she starts fixing herself lunch. My stomach twists as I try to build up the courage to apologize for the way I behaved last night.
“I’m sorry,” I say through an exhale. Kate sets her sandwich down and looks at me with questions in her eyes.
“For what I said yesterday. I shouldn’t have—”
“Was it true?” I’m sure when Damian pictured Kate and I bonding it wasn’t over what a horrible human being he can be.
“I love Damian. He might not be my father by blood but he’ll always be my father.”
Kate’s eyes flash. “But ...” she adds when I don’t say anything else.
“But being his daughter hasn’t been easy. He views me as weak, but anytime I try to show him how strong I really am or how much I can handle, he shuts me down. He taught me how to shoot a gun, but he wouldn’t let me carry one. He made me take self-defense courses, but he’d never allow me to go anywhere by myself.” My shoulders sag in defeat. Everything my father taught me was meant to be a last-ditch effort to keep me alive if someone did what he feared, which was take me from him. He was never able to look past the girl he once saw and see the woman before him.
“I’m his little girl.” I take another deep breath and exhale loudly. “But you get to be his grown-up daughter. He took one look at you and saw a strength he’ll never see in me.”
With sad eyes, Kate says, “I’m sorry. My parents have passed away and when I met Damian I felt a connection—a connection I was missing in my life—but I don’t want to come in between the two of you.” Kate’s words cause more guilt to set in. Any problem I have with Damian isn’t her fault and it’s time I stop acting otherwise.
“You’re not coming in between us. But...don’t let him drag you into our world because if you do it will consume your life and your choices won’t be yours anymore.” My eyes burn as I fight back tears. Voicing my thoughts was harder than I imagined.
Kate reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I won’t. I like my life too much to give it up,” she says with a beautiful smile, causing a jolt of jealousy to spread through me, but unlike the previous times, I don’t aim my negative thoughts at her.
“Who’s the guy you went out with?” she asks, changing the subject.
I’m thankful for the change of topic. “His name is Jared. I met him at the mall when I purchased a phone.”
Kate’s lip twitches. “You should have seen how Kiran behaved after you left. He kept insisting Gavin call and check on you.”
“Oh,” I add, puzzled by her comment. Kate grabs her lunch and walks over to the table.
“Oh?” she repeats with a smirk.
“I asked Kiran to go out with me—like a real date—but he shot me down. I guess I’m a little shocked that he’d care where I went.” I nervously start chewing on my fingernail.
Kate, however, chuckles and shakes her head. “That’s probably my fault. After you arrived, I told him you were off limits.”
“What? Why?” I ask, keeping my eyes locked with hers.
“Because Kiran has a track record with women. One that frankly disgusts me. He ...” She pauses and watches me closely. “He’s more of a one-night stand kind of guy.” She braces for my reaction. However, I’m not the least bit surprised. Not after the way Kiran reacted when I mention Manuel’s past.
“What makes you think I’m looking for more than just one night?” I say, surprising her.
“I...I...I guess—”
I cut off her ramble. “Kate, I have no idea when Damian or one of his men are going to sweep in and take me back. In the meantime, I want to cut loose and have fun, and I thought Kiran seemed like the guy who’d deliver a good time.” My face reddens.
Kate exhales then nods her head. “As long as you know that Kiran isn’t known for relationships, that he probably won’t be anything more than a good time, then I’m okay with you seeing him. I’ll make sure I tell him that.”
I shrug. “I don’t think it matters anymore. He seemed pretty pissed off at me last night when I got home,” I state.
“The only thing that pissed Kiran off last night was the fact that you went out with another man. Believe me, if you’re still open to the idea, then I know he is. I’ve never seen him...hung up on a female before.”
I nod my head. I’m not sure I agree with her. “Are we good?” I ask as she starts messing with her lunch.
“Yeah,” she softly says which causes my heart to settle. It seems no matter how hard I try, Kate makes it impossible to hate her.
****
That night, Gavin came home from work without Kiran. He announced that Kiran stayed behind to work on a project, but I saw a look pass between Gavin and Kate that told me it was something else. My mind immediately went to a woman. He claims he has a date this weekend...maybe he sped up his plans.
After dinner, I told Kate I was tired and went to my room. Instead of going to sleep, I looked up Damian’s name online again only to find an article claiming a bench warrant by the U.S. government has been issued against him in the role he and five others played in the death of a DEA officer.
I’ve always known if I wanted to live a carefree life that it wouldn’t include Damian, but now faced with the reality of that, I’m sad, and more importantly, I’m scared. As much as I love Manuel, I refuse to return to Poza Rica without Damian. The people there—hell, even Damian’s men would love nothing more than the chance to bring down the Cartel Princess, and I fear that’s exactly what would happen without my father’s protection.
The evening passes and before I know it, it’s already close to midnight. Instead of sleeping, I put on my bathing suit and make my way down to the pool. This time, I find Kiran in his usual chair before I get in the pool.
“Hey,” I say, causing Kiran’s eyes to snap to mine. Instead of answering me, he nods his head. When it’s clear he’s not going to say anything, I dive in and let myself unwind. I repeatedly swim from one end to the other and the whole time I can feel Kiran’s eyes burning into my skin.
By the time I finish, I’m exhausted. Even pulling myself out of the pool feels like a chore. I walk past Kiran and grab my towel. Once I’m completely dried and ready to go inside, I pause.
“I’m sorry. You were right. How I spoke to Kate last night was out of line. I want you to know it won’t happen again,” I add before opening the door and heading back to my room. I don’t know what it is about Kiran Clark that causes me to act like a fool, but I know if I’m going to survive the next few weeks, I need to get thoughts of him out of my head.
****
If I had any idea that working ahead in my classes would give me this much downtim
e, I wouldn’t have killed myself that first night. However, as of now, I’m still waiting for additional assignments to be posted before I can do anything more. I used the Kindle app on my phone to download tons of books, but after reading several, I’m itching to get out of the house. I know Kate or Gavin would give me a lift if I asked them to, but I hate inconveniencing them any more than I already have. Consequently, today, after everyone left, I called a cab and went into town.
I went from coffee shops to bookstores to the public library. I met a few men who happily gave me their phone number, but the best part of my day happened when I made a friend—a female friend. At least, Jena feels like she could make for a good friend.
Jena works at the bookstore I spent hours roaming around in, and after a long conversation, she offered me a part-time job—which I gladly accepted.
My father would spit nails if he knew I was working a common job for a low wage, but I’m sick of sitting around Kate’s house all day. And if I’m being honest, I’m hoping if I put down some roots here in Denver then it will be harder for Damian to demand I return home, especially if I can figure out a way to survive without his help.
I wait around the bookstore until Jena is off work. She offered to give me a ride home, and even though it’s probably not the smartest idea to get in a car with someone I just met, I decide to take her up on her offer.
“Wow. Nice place,” she adds after she pulls in the driveway.
“Thanks, but it’s not mine. I’m staying with family for a little while,” I tell her, hoping she doesn’t ask any more questions.
“Well, Gabriela, I’ll see you in two days when you start your job.”
I sigh. “My friends call me Izzy.” Gabriela Bello is the name on my fake ID—a name Manuel picked for me. I knew if I wanted a job, I couldn’t tell her one name then change it to another so I stuck with Gabriela, but I don’t want Jena to start calling me Gabriela.
“Sure,” she says with a baffled look.
“I’ll see you in two days,” I add before I get out of the car and walk inside. Once I’m through the door, I spot Callie watching a movie in the living room. She turns and shakes her head. “Shh. You’re in trouble,” she whispers in an adorable little voice.
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