Not Letting Go

by R B Hilliard

  Susannah grinned at me. “You did not lie. This is awesome.”

  I held up my schooner and tapped it against hers. “Glad you could make it to visit me, Cuz.”

  Melita chugged her beer, burped like a sailor and slammed her empty schooner down on the table. “I’m going to pee and grab another.” Susannah made a gagging noise and I tried not to laugh.

  “Why don’t you wait for the waitress to come by?” Reyn asked, barely disguising her irritation.

  “Because I have to pee now.”

  “Just tell us what you want and we’ll order it for you,” Reyn said through gritted teeth.

  “Naw, I’m good. Be back in a few.” We watched her navigate through the crowd and up the stairs.

  If not for the coke-bottle glasses and the garish Day-Glo outfit she was wearing, Melita would be pretty. She was tall and thin with super short hair. Because of her tiny features, it worked for her.

  I shook my head. “You have to admit she’s a little odd.”

  Susannah’s eyebrows shot up. “A little?”

  Laughing, Reyn said, “She definitely marches to the beat of her own drum.”

  Susannah started telling us about her latest blog when she was interrupted by a commotion at the top of the steps. Thinking a fight had broken out, I encouraged her to ignore it and keep talking. As she opened her mouth to continue, an entire schooner’s worth of beer came raining down on the people sitting beside us. Shrieks, curses and screams pealed out of their mouths as they shot from their chairs and ducked for cover.

  “Holy shit!” I said, trying not to laugh at my drenched neighbors.

  “She looks like a princess and talks like a sailor,” a deep voice from behind me said.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I froze. It took a minute for my brain to catch up with my eyes. Sitting behind us were…hot men, and a lot of them. The one who had spoken to me put the boys at the pool to shame. He had a head full of sandy blonde hair that curled around his collar. Normally I wouldn’t give a guy with facial hair a second look, but somehow it looked right on this guy. It wasn’t a full beard or a goatee, but somewhere in between. Whatever it was, it looked good. His blue eyes were framed by long, gorgeous, dark brown eyelashes and reminded me of the crystal blue water of the Caribbean Ocean. The contrast between his hair, his beard, and his eyes made a ruggedly good looking face…strikingly beautiful. I pulled my eyes away long enough to notice his dark tee, faded jeans, and… cowboy boots. Ugh, another cowboy. Cowboys were a dime a dozen in Texas.

  Somewhat dismissing him, I focused back on my friends. The crowd that had been christened with beer was booing. I wanted to crawl under the table when I realized who they were booing at.

  Melita.

  Reyn let out a loud groan and Susannah stifled a giggle.

  “Those steps are steep,” Melita complained as she plopped back down in her seat.

  “I take it you missed a couple?” Reyn wryly replied and I couldn’t help but let out snort of humor.

  Melita narrowed her eyes at me and I mouthed, “What?”

  “If you had all waited until I found my contact, I wouldn’t have missed any, would I?” she snarled.

  “I’ll buy you ladies a beer if you promise not to spill it on me!” one of the guys from the table behind us yelled.

  “Suck it!” Melita shouted back and flipped him the bird. The whole table erupted into laughter.

  Susannah shot her a look of contempt. “You are only making this worse, you know?”

  “John Lennon!” I shouted and everyone at the table jumped. That’s who she looks like!

  I heard someone at the table behind me chuckle and I knew it was the cowboy.

  “John Lennon who?” Reyn asked.

  Susannah made a choking noise and spewed beer across the table. “Yes!” she shouted through her laughter. “I totally see it.”

  “I don’t get it,” Melita said.

  “Me either,” Reyn agreed.

  Three chairs suddenly slid up to our table. The blonde bearded cowboy pulled up next to me, a black haired, brown eyed looker pulled up next to Reyn and a guy with long brown hair and lots of tattoos pulled up next to Susannah. When hot guy number four failed to appear for Melita, I surveyed the remaining guys at the table behind us and was answered with a bunch of head shakes.

  “Screw you all! I’m going upstairs to the bar,” Melita announced.

  Blonde bearded cowboy chuckled again and my eyes shot to his mouth. He had perfect teeth and juicy lips…I wonder if they taste as good as they look?

  “You stare at my mouth much longer and I might have to use it on you,” he said in a low, deep voice that shot all the way down to my girly parts.

  “Hi, I’m Reyn,” Reyn announced to the group. “This is my roommate Piper and her cousin Susannah.”

  “I’m Zeke,” black haired guy said, “and this here is Gage and Zippo.”

  Gage…Cowboy has a hot name.

  “Zippo?” Susannah asked.

  “That’s me,” he smiled.

  “As in a small, square, incendiary device?” she clarified. This made me smile. You wouldn’t know it by appearances, but Susannah was one smart little cookie. She had straight blonde hair that fell below her shoulders, cornflower blue eyes, and a full, welcoming smile. She was a tall drink of water with curves that made guys drool. What people didn’t know was that her IQ was high enough that she easily qualified to be a member of Mensa. The unsure look on her face made everyone at the table laugh.

  “Zippo has quite a collection of… small incendiary devices,” Zeke said, laughing.

  Reyn, Zippo, Zeke and Susannah started discussing all of the cool places to go in Austin when I felt my chair move. I turned and was met with a panty dropping smile from Gage. Once he had pulled me within touching distance, he focused his ice blue peepers on me and ran his tongue over his bottom lip. I fought back the urge to taste. Just one little lick.

  “What do you do here in Austin, Princess?”

  I scowled at his stupid choice of names and glanced down at his boots. “I am far from a princess, Cowboy and I work here.”

  His forehead crinkled and I tried not to laugh. So cute.

  He put his arm around the back of my chair and I felt his hand brush across my hair. Goose bumps erupted all over my body.

  “Hmmmm, a natural beauty,” he hummed, “don’t see much of that anymore.”

  My eyes widened in surprise. What is that supposed to mean?

  Before I got the chance to ask, his head shot up and a breathtaking smile spread across his face that made my heart stutter in my chest. I turned my head in the direction of his smile and my stomach dropped. Heading toward us was an absolutely stunning woman. Long, luxurious, black curls were messily piled on top of her head. A turquoise maxi dress barely made it over her enormous breasts before tying halter style around her neck. Large matching turquoise earrings and bracelets tied her ensemble together. I pegged her at five seven, give or take an inch. Her face was perfect, makeup was flawless and she was smiling at Gage like she was about to have him right there at the table.

  I don’t have self-image hang ups like most of the girls I know. I may not be the most beautiful girl in the world, but I’m definitely not hard to look at. Standing at five feet four and a half inches tall, I am neither short nor tall. I have long, wavy strawberry blonde hair, deep blue eyes and a smattering of freckles across my nose and shoulders. Thanks to my mom I am blessed with a generous sized chest and turn a pretty golden hue in the summer. Thanks to my dad I have a flat stomach and a perfect ass. It doesn’t hurt that I run three miles, four days a week. I am not an insecure person. I like the way I look. Better yet, men liked the way I look. I never compete for guys because I don’t have to. I am not a cheater and I do not believe in sharing…ever. I took one look at the girl heading our way and called it.

  Game over.

  The tall, exotic beauty slid past me and onto Gage’s lap, as if I was invisible and she belonged there.
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  Susannah cleared her throat. When I glanced her way, I couldn’t help but notice that all eyes at the table were stuck on Gage and his woman.

  “Hey there Selina,” I heard him say. I slid my eyes back over to him as he smiled down at her.

  She ran her hand over his beard and in a husky, sexy voice asked, “Are you taking me home tonight, Sugar?”

  He whispered something in her ear and that was all the confirmation I needed. Shoving back my chair, I stood up and said, “I’m out of here. Nice meeting you all.”

  Reyn caught my eye and mouthed, “Are you okay?”

  I gave her a tight nod.

  “If you want to stay,” Zeke told Reyn and Susannah, “we can give you a ride home.”

  Susannah looked over at me. “Is that okay with you?”

  “Sure thing,” I told them. “See you back at the apartment later.” Without looking back I headed for the stairs.

  “See you around Princess!” Gage shouted.

  I gave him a two fingered salute and without turning shouted, “Not if you call me that, you won’t!” His laughter rang out in response. As I headed up the stairs I felt a pang of sadness for what might have been. Quickly, I found Melita and made her blind ass drive me home.

  When we returned to my complex I thanked her for the ride. Then I bolted up the stairs and through the door. I flung myself on the sofa and let out a frustrated sigh. I had to admit it, I was jealous. I wish he was mine.

  I contemplated calling Ellie but changed my mind. Then I noticed four messages on the answering machine. The first was from Ellie. She was crying so hard that I could barely make out what she was saying. All I could understand was that it was something about her aunt and that she wanted me to call her back. The second message was from Joss. She started explaining that Ellie’s aunt had died. I stopped it mid-message and didn’t bother listening to the rest. Aunt Elizabeth is dead. This made me sad and glad at the same time. Did that make me a bad person? Probably.

  Picking up the phone, I called Ellie and made arrangements. Two days later, my brothers arrived in Austin. As my parents were in Michigan visiting my uncle, they couldn’t attend the funeral. The day after my brothers arrived, the three of us flew to Charlotte to support Ellie and to say goodbye to her Aunt Elizabeth.

  Chapter Three

  The front door slamming, followed by the smell of freshly brewed coffee woke me from a sound sleep.

  “That better be you, Joss!” I groggily moaned from my bed.

  “Who the hell else would it be? I told you last night that I was bringing coffee over this morning!” she shouted from the kitchen.

  Ugh! I can’t believe I actually hid in a coat closet last night. Definitely not my finest moment.

  Throwing on my robe, I joined her in the living room. Technically, my little back house was one big room. The bedroom and bathroom were separated from the kitchen, dining and living room by a half wall. The entire outer wall of the bedroom was a large sliding glass door that led out to a deck and swimming pool. If Kurt didn’t prove his love to Joss when he bought this house, nothing would. I poured us coffee from the carafe Joss had brought with her and we settled on the sofa. That’s when I noticed what she was wearing. She had on Kurt’s red and black flannel top with pink and green flannel pajama pants tucked into a pair of camel colored UGG boots. Her white blonde curls sprouted out beneath an ugly orange beanie. I sipped my coffee and kicked my feet up onto the coffee table.

  “Like the Paul Bunyan look you’ve got going on,” I told her.

  Ignoring me, she said, “Tell me what happened last night. Dillon said he found you in a closet or maybe it was a bathroom? Either way, he said you were hiding from someone.”

  Hmmm, let’s see. While you were dancing with your husband and watching my ex catch the garter, I was having panic attack in the coat closet…with a hairy thing…thinking that I was about to die.

  I gave her a benign smile. “Wasn’t it great seeing Ellie and Max finally get their happily ever after?”

  Her eyes narrowed and lips thinned. “Yes, it was, but we’re not talking about Max and Ellie right now. We’re talking about you.” Joss’s blue eyes and fairy like features made her seem frail when, in fact, she had a spine of steel. She stood about an inch shorter than me and had the metabolism of a hyper active five year old. Seriously, the girl could eat more than an entire herd of buffalo and never gain a pound.

  I smiled sweetly and eyed the bag full of goodies sitting on the coffee table in front of us. “What’s in the bag?”

  She gave me a devilish grin. “Not until you talk.”

  Not gonna happen. “How mad was Ellie that I left early?”

  “We all know that you and Gage have a past, Piper. Ellie and I are both worried about you and agree that it is past time for you talk about it. Who knows, maybe it will make you feel better?”

  “Thanks counsellor Greenfield,” I sarcastically replied. “I already feel better.”

  She let out a frustrated sigh. “What I know is that right before my wedding you showed up at Ellie’s house beaten black and blue. Right after that, Gage, Zip, and the gang showed up here in Charlotte.” I opened my mouth to interrupt, but she shut me down. “I knoooow that you have had a couple of run-ins with Gage that have left you in tears and him in a very nasty mood.” Hearing that Gage was affected made me feel marginally better. At least I’m not the only one. However, nothing she said was news. “I know that whatever happened hurt you so badly that you couldn’t run for weeks after, which is unheard of for you,” she continued.

  “Hey now, I’m back running again. In fact, I plan on going for a nice long one later this morning. Care to join me?”

  Her eyes narrowed to tiny, little slits. “We are on to you, Piper O’Connell.”

  I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my coffee. “There’s nothing to be on to, Joss Greenfield,” I mocked.

  Her head tipped to the side as she studied me, probably looking for a chink in my emotional armor. My stomach did a little flip-flop. I had a feeling that I was not going to like what was about to come out of her mouth.

  “Kurt told me last night that Max is making some big changes at the garage.”

  Max owned several garages all over the south. Due to the fact that he and Sarah were forced into hiding, he couldn’t name them McLellan’s like he wanted. So he went with the next best thing and named each of them MMG, which stands for Max McLellan’s Garage. The one in Charlotte, which we shortened to MG’s, was his latest and greatest. I had to admit that it was super cool for a garage. I especially enjoyed the monthly parties.

  “Oh?” I asked, wondering where this was going.

  “He is partnering up with Gage and Zippo Nelson.”

  My eyes widened in surprise. What the hell?

  “Uh huh,” she nodded, noticing my shock. “It turns out that Gage and Zippo have decided to stay in Charlotte and open two bays at the garage to service motorcycles.” She sat back with a smug smirk on her face and waited for me to explode.

  Gage’s dream was to open his own shop in Texas and work on motorcycles. His dad was an American Motorcyclist Association mechanic before he passed away. He grew up helping his dad work on bikes and traveled from place to place to watch races. He almost had his dream once, but it didn’t work out. That he would leave Texas… and Dooley…was shocking. However, if it meant finally getting what he’d always wanted? I’m not sure what Gage would or wouldn’t do anymore.

  “Wow, Joss, that’s great news, I guess.” I shrugged, pretending like it didn’t bother me.

  Her eyes narrowed again and she flippantly waved her hand in the air. Once more my stomach turned. “Oh and he went home with Missy Landry last night.”

  “What?” I whispered.

  From the look on her face, she knew she had me. “I said Gage went home from the wedding reception with Missy Landry last night.

  I absolutely despised Missy Landry. Everyone did. She was one of Jennifer Tilson’s best friends f
rom high school. In the words of Mike Myers Missy was, “Like the village bicycle…everyone’s had a ride.”

  Jennifer and Max slept together for most of our junior year. That is, until he got his shot at Ellie. Then he dropped her. In turn, she made Ellie’s life a living hell. She went as far as to try and ruin Max and Ellie getting back together.

  Missy Landry slept with anything that had a pecker and probably some that didn’t. The thought of Gage and Missy…together…sexually… made me want to hurl. The only reason that Missy was even at the wedding was because she was a date for one of Max’s friends.

  “Does Gage know who Missy is? Wait, why didn’t she go home with the guy she came with?” Jealousy, anger, and hurt rolled through me. I knew he was no longer mine, but in my heart he still was and always would be.

  “The guy she came with went home with someone else. Talk to me, Piper,” she stressed.

  My Gage…with Missy. Enough was enough. “You want me to talk? Fine, I’ll talk. I have been in love with Gage Blackwell for about eight months now. I love him the way you love Kurt and Ellie loves Max. The only difference is that, instead of marriage, our relationship ended in betrayal and heartache. As long as I live, I will never love anyone the way I love him, but he doesn’t feel the same about me. I’ve come to terms with this and am trying to move on. You and Ellie need to let me. Is that enough? Are you satisfied?” I felt a tear trickle down my cheek and quickly wiped it away. Stupid tears.

  “Oh, honey.” She scooted over and wrapped her arm around me. “I was afraid it was something like that.” I rested my head against her shoulder and sighed. “Was Gage the one who beat you?” she quietly asked.

  I shrugged against her. “Not really.”

  “Can you explain?”

  “No.”

  “Did he have anything to do with it?”

  Sick and tired of all the lies, I said, “Inadvertently, yes. Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. It’s over and done. Let it go, Joss.” I tilted my head up and stared into her eyes. “Please, just let it go.”