As I walked back to rejoin Stella with our drinks, I gulped away my earlier eagerness and reminded myself that this thing with her did indeed have an expiration date. There was no reason we couldn’t enjoy ourselves with a little fun, maybe more flirting, even a kiss or two here and there. And even though I wanted nothing more than to get fully acquainted with the girl who found a way to infiltrate my mind, and soul after only one night, I had to put my guard up and just let it go. No use getting worked up over a girl who wouldn’t be in the same time zone a few weeks from now. By the time I returned with our drinks, I’d done the best I could to convince myself that I had things in check.
“Thanks,” Stella whispered when I handed her the glass of water. She cleared her throat before taking a sip, and when she lifted her face so her cocoa colored eyes met mine, a rosy flush veiled her olive complexion.
The mood had shifted—it was painfully obvious. My sudden exit from our hookah den after my abrupt plea for Stella to stay had put a damper on the carefree, effortless rhythm we’d created together.
Way to fuck up, Jack. Put the cart before the horse and the horse shits all over you, dumbass.
I didn’t want our time together to suffer because I wished for more of it. I just wanted whatever time we did have together to continue being enjoyable.
“Hey, sorry about before,” I blurted out. I relaxed against the cushions and resumed my pipe toking.
“What do you mean?” She played dumb, fiddling with the bracelets that jangled from her wrist.
I had to just come out with it—the truth. I prided myself in that. Jack Davis was a forthright man; he didn’t beat around the bush and he never let anything get in the way of what he wanted. But in this case, what he wanted was too far out of reach, even for go-getter Jack Davis. “Let me lay it all out there so I don’t fuck this night up any more than I already have.”
Sucking on her end of the pipe, her nose flared and her eyes narrowed as she listened to my confession.
“I like you, Stella. A lot, but—”
“There’s a but?” she interrupted, seemingly miffed. “Why’s there a but, Jack? I like you, you like me, and usually when two people like each other that means there’s a whole gamut of possibilities.” The glint of hope that flashed across her face almost had me convinced.
Almost.
“The gamut doesn’t stretch across an entire country, doll. A roll in the hay here and there before you leave, maybe. But hearts and flowers ain’t gonna happen.”
Her intense gaze pierced mine, her lips pressed into a tight, straight line. I pissed her off by using the nickname she didn’t like and treating her like a random score. I hated to admit that I did it on purpose, but sue me for being a dick. She couldn’t sit here and talk about gamuts and shit, knowing full well that even though we both felt something for each other, nothing would come of it.
“Whatever, Jack. You want to make it complicated, go ahead. I was having fun. But now . . . I think I want to go home.”
Chucking the pipe and snuffing out the hookah coal, I shrugged. “Fine. I’ll take you home.”
“Good,” she declared, rising from the sofa and draping her purse over her shoulder. “I’ll meet you outside by the car.” She dug into her bag and flung a twenty dollar bill on the table.
Woman wouldn’t even let me pay for my hookah. This was so not the way I wanted this night to end.
Stella
What nerve! What an asshole! The pair on this pain in the ass!
When Jack came back from the bathroom everything had changed. Gone was the fun, flirty man who laughed at my silly slip-ups and made me weak in the knees with just one look. He was smug, closed off, and then he called me doll again. Figured, because I was having a great time prior to all of that. In fact, I was enjoying myself so much, I’d decided to ask him to join me at the beach tomorrow so we could hang out more before I had to leave the charming marvels of California and Jack Davis.
But now?
Not so much.
While seated only a few inches away from him in his cramped Wrangler, I did my best to ignore him—all of him. The way his masculine fragrance engulfed my senses, the way he hummed to the song that played on the radio and how it made me want to purr along with him. The way I was dying to leap over the console and just kiss him already. I wanted all of that so badly that my skin burned with desire.
But I couldn’t give in.
Jack was right—we couldn’t be anything, so why risk anything, especially our feelings?
Feelings.
It was crazy that those were already being considered so early on in the game, but a spade was a spade and there was something between Jack and me that simply couldn’t be denied.
After mulling it over and allowing my head to argue with my heart, I huffed loud enough for Jack to turn his head in my direction. He didn’t speak though, just returned his eyes to the narrow, spiraling road before us.
Stubborn mule. I wanted to continue the standoff and flip him the bird at the curb when he dropped me off, but I knew that would mean I’d never see him again. Did I really want that? Did I really want to let my pride make this kind of decision for me?
“Jack?” I whimpered—apparently I’d answered my own question.
“Stella?” Even that sounded flippant. Couldn’t he at least give me the benefit of the doubt for breaking the silence first?
“Let’s not do this,” I pleaded, my voice sweet as sugar.
“We’re not doing anything.”
Duh. Way to rub it in. “Stop being a jerk.”
“I’m not being a jerk.”
“Are so.”
“Am not.”
I threw my hands in the air and they landed on my lap with a loud, frustrated clap. “Really? Are we really going to end this like two immature children?” He was infuriating and I couldn’t figure out why I cared so much about ending this on the right note. Or rather, I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just end it, period.
“There’s nothing immature about it. I actually think we’re being quite grown-up. I could’ve taken you to my place and fucked you senseless the way I know you’ve wanted me to since the moment I asked you to dance at the wedding. But instead, I’m taking you home, saving us unnecessary one-night stand drama, and saying my good-byes.” He sounded so sure of himself, so self-righteous. Where was the Jack from twenty minutes ago? What happened to the man who practically begged me to stay in California?
“You . . . asshole!” I held back tears. He had no idea what kind of girl I was if he thought that was all I was good for.
“Now who sounds like an immature child?” He laughed, mocking me.
“Drive faster. I can’t stand to be in this car with you for one more second.”
We drove the rest of the way in uncomfortable silence. Being stuck inside the small vehicle with a man I had no desire to share the tiny space with was like being buried alive in a pine box. Get me out! my heart screamed. Ironic, since just a little while ago it was jumping out of my chest for other reasons. Now all I wanted was to leave Jack, and all the hurt he managed to inflict, far behind like a forgotten memory.
Jack
What was I doing? This was a whole new level of douchebaggery. I didn’t even know I had it in me, for Christ’s sake. But this girl—she brought out some crazy shit in me.
I hadn’t meant one word of what I’d said to Stella. Except of course that I wanted to take her to my place and screw her brains out, but that was neither here nor there. I was acting like a prick. Stella didn’t deserve that. Sure, I didn’t want her to know she had any kind of effect on me, but I was better than that. I’d probably never see her again after the way I acted, but I couldn’t leave her this way. It was my pride that had transformed me from a hopeful Casanova into a feeling-harboring asshole. But I could teach my pride a thing or two. Feelings didn’t always have to be terrible things. It didn’t make me any less of a man to admit that Stella was driving me wild—in both good and bad w
ays. I couldn’t leave her with this kind of impression. I didn’t want to leave her at all.
As we pulled up to her house, Stella undid her seatbelt and her hand flew to the handle of the passenger door. She wanted out with a vengeance and I couldn’t blame her, but I could stop her.
“Wait! Stop! Stella, I’m sorry.” I was. Truly, madly, deeply sorry for treating her the way I had because of my own misgivings. I wanted this girl—not just for a night, or a few weeks. I could tell from the little bit of time we spent together that the two of us would be good together. Friends, if nothing else, but if I was honest with myself, I definitely wanted more.
“Why should I? You’ve been nothing but rude since the second you came back from that bathroom!” Her hand stopped at the handle, still grasping but not pulling it to exit. She didn’t turn to face me when she spoke, but I was okay explaining myself to the back of her beautiful head if I had to.
“You’re right. I acted like a dick, but it’s only because I was scared.”
“Scared of what, Jack? Freddy freaking Krueger shouldn’t make a person act that way to any girl—except your sister Aubrey, of course.”
That was a low blow meant to piss me off, but it didn’t. Aubrey had put the Edwards family through hell. My best friend, too. But this had nothing to do with her, and I wasn’t about to defend Aubrey when I was trying to right my wrongs with Stella.
“I don’t want to end things like this.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because I don’t want it to have to end at all, Stella, but we have no choice.” It was the God’s honest truth, laid out there in all its vulnerability for her to do whatever the hell she wanted with it.
Her shoulders slumped and she slackened her death grip on the handle. She still hadn’t turned to face me so I placed a hand on her shoulder to urge her to cast her spellbinding gaze my way. “Stella,” I whispered, partly because I didn’t know what to say next and partly because I was desperate just to taste her name on my lips once more.
“What do you want me to say, Jack? It is what it is, but that doesn’t mean you have to treat me like some floozy whore because you can’t get what you want.”
Floozy whore? Had I really given her the impression that I thought of her that way and—how old was this girl? The phrase made her sound like one of the Golden Girls.
I laughed, despite the fact it would probably piss her off even more, but when she turned around I couldn’t help but point in her face with a wink. “Ah, got ya to look at me!”
“Prick.”
“Yep, got one of those. A nice one, too.” I smirked.
“Asshole.”
“Oh! I didn’t take you for the back door type, but that is mighty tempting.” I was treading on thin ice, but I couldn’t resist. Sarcasm was my best defense when I had nothing else going for me.
Her cheeks turned cherry-red and her hand darted out to the handle again. “You really are an A class piece of—”
Pulling her arm at the elbow, I interrupted her very accurate assumption. “Can we hang out again, try this one more time? Please, Stella, I’m not ready to say good-bye.”
“And why the hell would I do that?” she fumed.
“Because you know you feel this too.” She had to. She wouldn’t still be sitting next to me if she didn’t. I knew that much, if nothing else. And then something hit me. “Sunshine!” I shouted, causing Stella to jump in her seat.
Her eyes narrowed, her complexion simmering from flustery-pissed-red to agitated-but-curious-pink. “Jack, what are you talking about?”
“Your nickname. Sunshine. It’s perfect.”
Shaking her head and exhaling a long, warm breath of sweet minty air, she pleaded with me, “Sunshine? How is that any better than doll?”
Leaning closer to her, I laid my hand on her knee and turned up the charm. “It’s so much better than doll. First of all, the sun is a star and your name means star, so one point for skills. Secondly—without sounding like I’m trying to get in your pants or make up for being a total jerk—you light up an entire room just by being in it, Stella. Your warmth, your smile, your kind heart—all things that make an ordinary day seem so fucking remarkable. I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you—I had to get to know you, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to spend the next fourteen days getting my fill of you.” It felt so good to get it out, but knowing she still had the power to black out my little ray of hope made me wish I wasn’t so vulnerable.
Gauging her reaction to my confession, my heart thumped erratically, skipping beats here and there. I couldn’t tell what she wanted to do with the declaration that just gushed its way out of my mouth. Was she still angry? Apprehensive? Spellbound like me?
Speak, Sunshine, speak. Let me know what you’re thinking.
Stella closed her eyes; her delicate throat constricted as she gulped back what had to be nerves. When her lids fluttered open, her syrupy-colored gaze sparkled in the dim light of the moon. “Come to the beach with me tomorrow. I hear it’s supposed to be exceptionally sunny.”
Stella
What an unexplainable turn of events. I was sure the way the second half of our date—if that’s what you wanted to call it—was headed for disaster. And it was. Armageddon had been upon us, but then the skies opened, the angels sang, and the heavens shone down when he gave me that silly nickname.
Sunshine.
Yes, it was corny. There was nothing stellar about it. In fact, I didn’t necessarily desire a pet name from a guy. I was happy with my given name. Mom and Dad put a lot of thought into it, I was told. But it was the way Jack explained why he chose it that had me all giddy.
The thought that I could do that to a man—make his day brighter just by being in the same room—was the kind of thing I’d been searching for from the moment I started dating. Jack had all the right moves, even when he was being rude and crude, and I couldn’t deny the way my insides twitched when I was with him.
“Crap! Crap! Crap!” I shouted as I collapsed onto my comfy bed.
The timing of this charade could not have come at a worse stage in my life. It was just my luck—always the bad kind—that I was following one dream only to leave behind something that would fulfill so many others.
When Nina first brought Ryan home to meet Mom, my mother tried to give me a heart-to-heart about how I too would meet my knight in shining armor one day. Funny thing was, back then—not more than a few months ago—I couldn’t give a hoot about a knight or whatever kind of get-up he wore. I was content figuring things out for myself, enjoying the single life, and focused on learning how to make it on my own two feet.
Today, I was still determined to achieve all that, but the idea of having the right guy to share it with was a new concept I had Mom and Caleb to thank for. If someone as jaded by life as she was could find a man to complete her, I was certain love did conquer all. And that left me to ruminate the possibilities of the L word with Jack—someone I just met, someone I’d be leaving behind before anything real could even start.
Pulling my fluffy pillow over my face, I screamed into the soft, downy cotton to relieve my frustration. When I was done taking my anger out on the innocent, inanimate object, I looked up to find my sister gaping in the doorway. “Problem?” she asked, her hand on her hip. The sight of her twin drowning out her sorrows in a pillow was old hat by now.
“Yes,” I huffed. I didn’t really want to talk about it, especially not with the ever-pessimistic Nina, but maybe she could shed some light on my dilemma. “Where’s Ryan?” I asked, making sure the coast was clear to be candid.
“Fell asleep while we were watching a movie,” she answered as she jumped onto the bed, causing the mattress to spring to life. “What gives?”
“Jack Davis gives.” He did—he gave good face, good vibes, good freaking everything.
“Hmmm,” she hummed, while arching a well-groomed brow.
“That’s all you have to say? I was hoping for more than that.” There had to
be a way she could make it all better.
“I can’t believe it had to be Aubrey’s brother to crack the stone around that heart of yours.”
Rising to a sitting position, I flung an errant throw pillow at my sister’s head. “Stone? Are you serious? I’m the nice twin, or have you forgotten that?”
“You’re known as the nice one because I don’t take anyone’s shit, but that’s not what I meant. You’re always so guarded, Stells. I’ve never heard you even mention a guy, let alone seem all flustered and in a tizzy. You know this is terrible timing, don’t you?” Blunt, much? That was Nina.
“Tell me something I don’t know. What am I going to do?”
Curling her slim legs beneath her backside like a little girl getting ready to gossip at a slumber party, Nina reached over to rub my hand. “You’re leaving soon. Jack will be part of your past. I can spell it out for you if it’s something you need to hear, but I think you know the answer, Stells.”
Oh, I knew the answer, all right. It was clear cut, completely unambiguous. Stella Edwards didn’t need a man to define her, and she certainly couldn’t get herself confused about her mindset over someone she’d known for all of twenty-four hours. Stella Edwards and Jack Davis could not be anything more than friends. It was that simple. Tomorrow’s little rendezvous would be nothing more than a day at the beach with a fond acquaintance. I couldn’t flirt, or drop innuendos, and I certainly couldn’t allow Jack to get under my skin any more than he already was.
The option of cancelling our plans wasn’t even a consideration—I was entitled to some fun, right? So that meant I had some serious pretending in my future. “Yup, Neen. You’re right. I know exactly what I have to do.”
Jack
Getting ready for the beach that morning was like planning for The Day of Reckoning. I refused to be unprepared for anything.
Freeing Destiny (Fate #2) Page 4