by Mia Michelle
I stare down at the plastic stick on my bathroom counter in disbelief. Digging the instructions out of the trash, I frantically begin searching for my answer. My answer came in two dark pink lines on a stick.
No! Pregnant.
This fucking can’t be happening right now. He’s going to be here any minute. What am I going to do? The doorbell ringing sends me in a near panic attack. With one frantic rake of my hand, I shove all the contents into the top drawer and make my way to the front door. There’s no way I can go over to his place tonight.
Answering the door, he wastes no time pulling me to him. Before I know what’s going on, my back slams against my metal loft door. Taking my hands in his, he raises them above my head before trailing kisses down my neck.
“I’ve missed you so goddamn much.”
I work to find my voice. “I can tell.”
Nik reaches for my hand and places it on his hard cock.
“See what you’ve done? You’ve left me hard all damn afternoon. And I plan on making you pay for that. All. Night. Long.” His hot kisses trail down my neck, soaking my panties in the process.
My heart sinks. There’s nothing I’d rather do than forget about that damn test, but I can’t. I can’t go over to his house. I’ve got to get out of this. Right now, I need time to myself to think. Being around him is nothing but a distraction… a very good distraction, mind you. In order to get my head straight, I need to be away from him. It’s the only way I will be able to be strong enough to talk to him about this.
“Hey. Did I say something wrong?” He must notice the way I’ve disconnected from him.
“No, of course not. I’m just, well, I’m not feeling so good. Evan sent me home because I got sick at work.”
“How kind of him.” He snarls. Nik is no fan of my boss. He thinks Evan’s just looking for a way into my bed, but Nik is way too over the top with jealousy sometimes. Sure, I would be lying if I said Evan was not very hot, but I’ve never been attracted to him.
“Stop it, Nik. He just was concerned, is all.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I’d have come picked you up.”
“I didn’t call you because I didn’t want to bother you. Besides that, I’m l just fine. Despite what you think, I don’t need people to take care of me, Nik!”
Anger fills his face. I know I’m about to get that infamous temper of his. I brace for it, but then the unexpected happens. Faster and faster, the room begins to spin. And, as if on cue, my knees pick the perfect time to buckle. Oh, shit! Like my knight in shining armor, Nik’s there catching me as I drop.
“That’s it. You’re coming home with me. No arguing.” After leading me to the couch, he disappears into the coat closet and returns with one of my bags.
“You’re going to stay with me this weekend and I’m going to take such good care of you that you’re not going to want to come home.” His voice trails off as he disappears through the door to my bedroom.
“Nik, I’m not going over to your house. As a matter of fact, you need to leave. I could be contagious.” I hate myself for the lie that has just come out of my mouth, but I can’t help it. I’m desperate for him to go so I can make better sense of this situation.
“I told you, you’re coming with me. No arguments,” he says, as he drops my bag on the floor and crosses the hall towards the bathroom.
I hear him rattling through my cosmetics on the counter. Leaning back against the sofa, I breathe a sigh of relief that I hid that damn test.
“What else do you need?” he asks, sticking his head out the door to look at me.
I know how determined he is and there’s no way he’s letting me off. I’ll just stay the night and come back home in the morning.
“Don’t worry about my stuff, Nik. I have everything there at your house, remember?”
I wait, but there’s no answer.
“Nik?”
Silence.
And then, as I stand on my wobbly feet, I look up and meet his hard stare from the doorway. His hand tightly clenches the test strip while his jaw tenses.
“What’s this?” The anger in his voice sends chills through me.
“Nik, please. I don’t want to do this right now.”
“Now? Well, when the fuck had you planned on doing this? How long have you been hiding this, anyways?”
“Shut the fuck up, Nik! I haven’t been hiding anything! I just took the damn thing today, all right?”
“You told me you were on the goddamn pill, Kylie! Or was that a lie?”
“I know… I am. That’s the truth, I swear.”
“Then how is this thing positive?”
“I don’t know, Nik. I… I might have missed a few pills this month.”
“Might? You might have missed some pills. Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“Nik, please. We don’t even know if that’s a real positive or not. Sometimes they’re wrong. I’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and have them run a test there. There’s no need to get upset until we know for sure.”
“I can’t believe you! Of course, I’m upset. I don’t want kids. You know that! This is all your perfect little scheme to trap me into marrying you and getting my money. Isn’t it? I should have fucking known not to trust you!”
His vicious words completely level me. My stomach feels like it’s been kicked. He hates me. I know that look all too well. He has the same look when he talks about his parents.
“Nik, I… I would never do that to you. You have to believe me! Whatever this is, we’ll work it out together. I… I love you.” My words come out before I can stop them. Of course, I love him. I’ve loved him since the day he’d walked into my life. I’d finally admitted it to myself months ago, but I knew he’d never say the words back, so I kept them to myself. So many times when we’d lay entangled in one another, I’d feel the words at the tip of my tongue. But every single time, I’d swallowed them down. He can never handle hearing them. Perhaps, I can’t handle knowing that he couldn’t.
“Love me? This isn’t love, Kylie. Is that what you think… that this is love? Rest assured I don’t love you. And I certainly don’t want a baby with you or anyone else for that matter.”
“Nik… please. I’m so sorry.”
Furious, he throws down the test and rushes to the door. “I’ll have your shit delivered to your office tomorrow.”
Petrified, I hug my upper body and drop to my knees. No. Please don’t leave me. God, please, don’t let him leave me. I won’t survive this again. He grabs the handle of the loft door and hesitates before exiting. He turns around to face me, fury etched in every line of his body. I’ve seen him mad, but never like this before. The darkness in his eyes makes me shake with fear..
“Oh, and Kylie?” His voice makes me shiver again. “For your sake and mine, get rid of it.”
And with that, he walks out of my apartment door and out of my life.
NIKOLAS
The minute I walk out the door, I regret it. Hell, who am I kidding? The minute I opened my mouth to say those cruel things to her, I regretted it. She tells me she loves me, and what do I do? I crush what’s left of her soul by saying that I don’t love her, that I could never love her. All my life I’ve waited to hear those words from someone. Someone who really meant them. Someone I love too. Yet the moment I hear them, I panic and shove the person away.
What the hell is wrong with me?
My mind goes back to the test. A baby? Am I seriously going to be a dad? I haven’t ever given much thought to having kids. I mean I like them all right and all, but the idea of changing diapers and shit, well, that’s an entirely different story. It’s not that I don’t want to be a dad. It’s that I don’t know how to be one. Heaven knows my father didn’t set an example of how to be a good one. Mine is biological, that’s all. He doesn’t give a damn about me. He’s even gone so far as to tell me that very thing numerous times in my life. That, along with how he’d wish I had never been born. Speaking of which. Fuck! I’m
such an asshole! I can’t believe I’d told her to get rid of it. I’d take the responsibility of supporting it, but I’d have to walk away. Truth is, this kid will be better off without me. He or she doesn’t need me as the messed up, fuck of a father I’d be to them.
Once I arrive at my apartment building, I dread going upstairs. I’ve spent all evening getting everything set up for tonight before I went to get her. As mushy as it sounds, I wanted it to be special and romantic when I asked her to move in with me.
The lighting is soft and music plays quietly in the background. Rose petals are so cliché and not my girl’s thing. So instead, her favorite chocolate kisses line the hallway to my bedroom. A new nightie from the fancy lingerie shop waits for her on the end of the bed.
Now, nothing is going to happen. And, from the way I ended it, she will never be stepping foot in my apartment again. I grab her favorite Patrón from the freezer where I put it to chill and carry it to the couch to drink while everything I said to her plays through my head on repeat.
Turning up the decorative bottle, I polish off the last drop of the Silver Patrón as the colors of the sunrise wash through the windows. I thought I could drink her memory away, but I am damn sure wrong about that one. Every one of my thoughts has her in it. Every memory holds her in my heart. I know the error of my ways and, right now, I need to fix this. I just don’t know how.
When I wake up from my drunkenness, I have no idea what day it is, let alone what time. This past week’s been nothing but a painful blur for me. Surrounded by empty vodka and whiskey bottles, it’s a miracle I even woke up in the first place. Pizza boxes cover the table and the floor around me, most looking as though they’ve barely been touched. The strong stench of vomit fills the air. As I push up off the couch, I notice that I’m in a pool of it. Looking down at the soiled clothes I’m wearing, I can’t even remember the last time I changed them. Topping everything off is the foul taste in my mouth. It’s like something crawled up in it and died twice. Just thinking about the rotten flavor on my tongue makes me want to hurl all over again. My faltering attempt to stand has the room spinning, so I ease back down, grab my throbbing head, and rest it against the cool, soft leather cushion behind me. Fuck! It feels as if it’s being crushed in a vice. When I touch a tender spot on the back of my head, I feel a large bump. No doubt, I hit it on something when I stumbled around in my drunken state.
Glancing around my dimly lit apartment, I spot a pile of mail scattered on the floor. That’s my ticket to figuring out just how long I’ve been out of it. Step by painful step, I fumble my way to the door. Who knew that walking twenty steps could take so damn long? Footprints on various envelopes let me know I’ve trampled through this pile more than once. I’m sure I just answered the door to the pizza delivery guy and disregarded it laying there.
As I sort through the mail, I note the dates on each of the crumpled envelopes in hopes of getting some answers. Fucking hell! According to these, I’ve been in this damn apartment for four days straight. Four fucking days and I don’t remember a damn thing. Not even the pizza guy. Now that I’m sobering up, the pain returns in my chest, reminding me of why I stayed drunk in the first place. God, I fucking miss her.
What have I done? I can’t lose her.
Even though I look like hell, I have to go see her. She has to know I didn’t mean any of what I said. Grabbing my wallet off the floor, I open the front door and freeze when I see a brown box sitting on the other side. With my name written in bold letters, I instantly recognize the feminine handwriting as Kylie’s.
Fear fills me as I clench both sides of the carton. I don’t want to open it. I already know damn well what’s on the inside of it. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I gather the courage and fold back the flap. And just as I’d expected, it’s full of things that I’d left over at her place. Taped to the inside of the box is a notecard with her initials engraved on the front. Even before reading it, I know this isn’t going to be good.
Nik,
Here are your things. Don’t bother returning mine.
By the way, I’m not pregnant. Thought I’d ease your mind since I’m sure you’ve been so concerned.
Kylie
Sharp daggers feel like they are being shoved deep into my chest. I should be relieved right now, but I’m not. Instead, I feel like a piece of fucking shit. Being the coward I am, I left her to deal with this stuff on her own. Until now, it’d never occurred to me that maybe she’d been just as leveled by the idea of having my kid as I’d been. I mean, I certainly can’t say I blame her. My selfishness has cost me everything. A week ago, I’d had everything. Now, I have nothing.
I’m nothing without her.
It’s time I make this right. I’ll throw myself at her feet if I have to. There’s nothing I won’t do to get her back. She told me she loved me. And God knows I fucking love her. Love doesn’t go away that quickly. Or can it? What if it’s been replaced by hate?
It’s six thirty in the morning and here I am, in my car, looking up at her apartment building while I work up the nerve to go upstairs and beg for her mercy. My seventh cup of coffee sits in my stomach like a ball of lead. Kylie’s definitely not a morning person, so I know she won’t like me popping over this early. Regardless, I’ve got to see her. I know she’s working today, so I hope to work this all out with her and she can call in sick. I’d happily spend the rest of the day in bed making up for lost time.
Traffic begins picking up and morning joggers make their way down the sidewalks. As I open my car door, I wince from the sting and slide on dark sunglasses to shield my eyes from the morning sunlight. One thing is for sure, I definitely won’t be drinking like that again. Ever!
Deciding it’s now or never, I grab the fresh coffee and Danish off the front seat and make my way across the busy street. As I cross the lobby to the elevator, I can’t recall ever being this damn nervous to see her. So many clashing thoughts race through my mind right now that I hope I can get everything out that I want to say. Relief fills me when no one joins me on the elevator. I need this time alone to rehearse the speech I’ve been working on.
Baby, I know I was an asshole. I was just scared. I need you in my life. Can’t we work this out?
Who am I kidding? Even I know this isn’t going to be that easy. I’m dealing with Kylie Reynolds, for fuck's sake, the most stubborn, outspoken woman on the fucking planet. She’s going to take one look at me and throw some large object at my head. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a life-sized target of me in her apartment and throws darts at it. For all I know, she’s conjured up some voodoo magic on my ass. It certainly would explain the headache pounding away at me. Yep, I bet there’s some miniature doll with pins all in its head and dick laying in her apartment somewhere.
When the elevator chimes its arrival, I step out and make my way towards her door. Just as I turn the corner, I freeze. Leaving Kylie’s apartment is none other than her boss, Evan Pierce. There aren’t words enough to say how much I hate this guy. He’s had his eyes on my girl since the day she went to work for him. She hadn’t worked there six weeks before he’d promoted her from assistant to analyst. I didn’t want to spoil her excitement by telling her it had nothing to do with her hard work and everything to do with working side-by-side with him. He looks at her as if she’s his next meal, yet she is blind to it. It’s been a sore topic between us for months. I warned her that the next time I saw him touch her I am going to bust his face.
His wrinkled jacket hangs over his arm, and when he lifts his chin and reaches to secure the knot on his red silk tie, his blue eyes meet mine.
I hate this fucker. I hate the way he dresses. I hate the way he talks, eats, walks… breathes. I just fucking hate him.
“Good morning, Thorne.” A smirk covers his face as he moves to tuck his shirttail in his pants.
I can’t believe the fucking bastard has the audacity to speak to me. I’m going to kill him. The coffee and Danish drop, the liquid splashing across the floor b
eside me. Within two seconds, I have the fucker pinned against the wall and my hands at his throat.
“Get your goddamn hands off me!” His voice is hoarse as he struggles to push my hands away.
“You fucking son of a bitch! What the hell are you doing here?” I demand, slamming his head against the wall.
Before he can answer, Kylie’s door opens and my eyes land on my gorgeous girl for the first time in almost a week. She takes my breath away, standing there with her long, tousled hair and short black silk robe. She’s so fucking beautiful. My mind goes back to how she’s dressed and all I can think about is the two of them in bed together.
“What the hell is going on? Nik, let him go,” she demands, but I refuse to release him.
“What’s this asshole doing leaving your apartment this early, Kylie?”
“That’s none of your goddamn business, Nik. Now, let him go!”
Leaning in, I whisper my warning in his ear, “Watch your back, fucker,” before shoving him out of my way. The coward doesn’t even try to fight me. He’s too worried that I’ve messed up his tie.
“Kylie? Are you going to be all right?” he asks. I’m unconvinced by his concern.
“Yeah, Evan. I’m fine. I’ll see you at work in a bit.”
Nodding, he turns and leaves, refusing to look my way.
“Goodbye, Nik.” She grabs the door to shut it.
Panicked, I waste no time charging forward. Too shocked by my move, she backs away as I push my way inside of her apartment.
“Nikolas! Get the fuck out!” She pushes hard into my chest with her hands.
The electric surge soars through my body. There it is… That magical touch.
I grab her arms and pull her body into me, savoring how wonderful she feels against me. For a second her body melts, relaxing into mine. All morning, I’ve rehearsed what to say. Now is my chance, but I can’t. First, I need to know why Evan was here.