by Ifè Oshun
If they were not here to judge me, then why were they here?
“We're here to help you, Angel,” Bodiel said.
A mental image of the frozen Mahá popped into my mind. “We will show you how to control this,” Knowledge said. “We will stay for the rest of your Mahá.”
“If there is room for us, of course,” they added in unison.
I had no clue whether there were extra rooms or not, but I wasn't about to turn them away. They were angels, for crying out loud! “Yes, you can stay as long as you'd like to.”
Knowledge made a gesture and Moira and Cassandra appeared.
“We will stay here at this Mahá,” Bodiel told them. “Like we did the other one.”
“And, like the other one, I will stay to prove you wrong,” Moira said. She looked at me expectantly. Was this some arrogant way of asking me for a room?
Bodiel smiled. “Yes, she is extremely arrogant. That's why she fell.”
“Bo,” Knowledge admonished in a sweet tone, “It's kind of rude to continually read the humans' minds. Let her speak what she wants to share.”
I wasn't about to say no to an AO, either, no matter how obnoxious Moira was. “Yes, you may stay here.” I turned to Cassandra and Trench Coat, hesitating for a fraction of a moment before saying, “And you both, too.” I suddenly felt very weak.
“The baby needs rest and food,” Bodiel said.
“I am not a baby!”
“She has a temper,” Cassandra tattled. “It gets worse when she's hungry.”
I opened my mouth and directed a D note at her solar plexus. She fell away from me, cringing. Good.
“Don't ever pull your shenanigans with me again,” I said through clamped teeth. I was still angry about the Garden incident. The air shone a slight red around us. Trench Coat was suddenly in front of me. The shotgun was aimed at my nose this time.
I looked down the pitch-black barrel and my stomach flip-flopped. This was no ordinary shotgun. Inside the barrel was the red, barren landscape I had seen in my death vision during The Change. In the few seconds I looked down the barrel, the staggering desolation of that place burdened every part of my being. The small amount energy I did have vanished and I felt completely drained.
“I enforce the law,” s/he said, unfurling wings almost as large as Bodiel's. At first, I thought the wings were red feathers. But no, they were flames.
Bodiel shrugged as if this was all normal. “Angel. This is Shoftiel. Please don't take it personally. He's just doing his job.”
Cassandra gave me that bone-chilling smile. “We're all just fulfilling our roles. Aren't we?” AO or not, she was truly annoying. But there was nothing I could do about her now besides ignore her as much as possible and try to wrap my head around this bizarre situation.
I surveyed them carefully. Knowledge glanced at Bodiel in a way that reminded me of my secret telepathic conversations with Cici. I almost slapped my forehead. Duh, of course they were telepathic, and were probably communicating right now. Meanwhile, Moira and Cassandra watched me like pit bulls. And then there was Shoftiel. Through the entire ordeal, he remained unmoving unless there was some threat of violence. Like a sentinel.
“Are you here with Cassandra?” I asked him while fighting to keep a quiver of fear out of my voice.
“I am here with no one,” he answered without turning his gaze to me. “I am here to enforce the Law.”
Then I understood. He was like the AO police. He just showed up with Cassandra, but he wasn't her companion like I had previously thought. He was an angel, too; an angel of justice. I remembered Mom's account of her Mahá, and how she’d said young Jesus was accompanied by AOs and others. Now I was sure those “others” were angels.
“We have come to help you, Angelika, but you will not tell anyone about us,” said Knowledge. “No one in your family must know, or there will be consequences.” She glanced significantly at Shoftiel.
“We will continue to work with you as long as you keep our identities to yourself,” Bodiel added. “Your family will not be able to access your awareness of us, and, like other humans, will see only what we allow them to. Do you agree to this?”
“I don't like keeping secrets from my family,” I answered. “It feels uncomfortable, as if I'm doing something wrong.” I turned to Bodiel. “How do I know you’re good? You may be evil and mean my family harm.”
Moira caught me off-guard by breaking out in a gut-busting laugh. She laughed so hard she fell onto the ground and started hitting it with her balled up fists, leaving small holes in the grassy lawn.
“What’re you laughing at?” I asked, ticked off. “You pointed a sword at me. And you,” I gestured at Cassandra, “you masqueraded as my reflection. How do I know you have my best interests at heart?”
I looked at Shoftiel and shivered at the memory of what was in his gun. I then turned to Bodiel and Knowledge. “And you ask me to lie to my family. How can any of this be good?”
“She is right,” Knowledge said. “There is good and bad amongst our ranks. This question is fair.” She turned to me and soft white light cascaded from her skin, illuminating the area around her like a band of microscopic fireflies. “It's our job to help mankind,” she stated. “But we also root out the bad stuff, so to speak. To reveal us would put many in danger. If we cannot count on your confidence, beings of all sorts—human, angelic and others—will suffer. This is all I can say about this matter. We ask you again. Do you agree to this?”
Bodiel moved closer to me. “What does your heart tell you, Angel?” His wings were tucked away, and his white hair glowed like a florescent halo. “Do you feel that we are bad?”
“No,” I answered with a sigh. “I don't feel that way about you and Knowledge.” I withheld my statements about the others. “But, if this is what you request, I will agree to it under one condition.” Cassandra and Moira looked at me with surprise. Even Shoftiel started to look directly at me before catching himself. “As long as we have this agreement, you must promise not to listen to my thoughts unless I ask you to.”
“We have a deal,” Bodiel said.
“Now,” Knowledge brushed the dirt off of her long white and gold dress, “let's get your Mahá back on track. First, you will need nourishment.” She snapped her fingers and Justin appeared before me, laid out on the grass. He wore black flannel pajama bottoms, no top, and looked as if he'd been literally lifted out of his bed. They may have been archangels, but they didn't seem to get the knack of the social graces.
“Angel? Where am I?” Confused, he stared around at the others, and I could only imagine what his mortal eyes perceived before they rested on me. “You okay?” he asked.
“I'm fine, Justin, just really weak. You're in California. These are my… friends.” I waved in their general direction. “They brought you here, because I'm extremely hungry.” I touched his shoulder. “I need you.”
“I'm here for you, Angel,” he said, pulling me down onto the grass.
“Privacy,” Bodiel said, and everyone was zapped away, leaving Justin and me alone. I was hungrier than I thought and eagerly began. After a short while, I felt like my old new self.
But something was wrong. Justin usually held me close after we were done, but tonight he didn't. In fact, he didn't do anything. And his heart wasn't beating anymore. I had drained him so quickly, he was already dead.
“Justin!” I shook him, trying in vain to reverse the damage I'd done. “Justin! No!”
Bodiel and Knowledge appeared at my side. “Do something, Bo,” she told him. “This is our fault. She’s only fed in a controlled environment. We allowed her to get too hungry to safely feed from one mortal.”
“Bloodthirsty wretch,” Moira muttered from hundreds of feet away.
Besides the anguish I felt for having caused it, Justin’s death hit me as if a part of my solar plexus had been gouged out. It was actual physical pain. I floated in mindless despair as my hands reached out to him in vain.
“You
r blood tie was very strong,” Bodiel explained. “That is the distress you feel.” He breathed into Justin's mouth.
“There is still a spark of life in him,” said Knowledge. “He will live, Angel. But he will not...be the same.”
Feeling a sense of relief, I was able to calm myself enough to touch down before her words sunk in. “What do you mean, he won't be the same…?”
Bodiel finished his angelic CPR and Justin sat up languidly, as if he were waking up from a nap. He stretched and rolled the muscles in his back as a faint glow emanated from his skin. He regarded me as if he was seeing me for the first time. He said only one word, “Angel,” before folding me into his arms and kissing me.
The kiss was cool and slow. And safe. His breath was sweet, and held his dominant scent of jasmine. I couldn’t stop my body from responding. Justin’s lips grew hotter as he stroked my hair, eyebrows, cheeks, my chin... I finally pulled away in an attempt to come to my senses.
“Is this what you meant by him not being the same?” I asked, referring to the kiss.
“No, we had nothing to do with that,” Knowledge answered as she watched him closely. “He's no longer mortal.”
“What? No! He won't have a normal life anymore.”
“Would you rather he were dead?”
Despite the shame I felt at being the reason why Justin's life was taking a complete one-eighty, I had to admit I needed him alive. The tie was too strong and the pain was too real. But was it right?
“It's okay, Angel,” Justin said. He turned me to face him. “I want this. And I know you want it, too.” His tone was intimate. Sensual. He nibbled my neck.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, liking the sensations but feeling confused.
“You don’t have a boyfriend,” he stated.
“Excuse me? That’s none of your business,” I retorted. I pushed him away. “I’m not getting emotionally involved. And I suggest you don't either.”
I started to turn away from him, but he took my hand and kissed it almost reverently. It was just too much to take. First he was dead and now he was proclaiming his love for me. Even worst than the guilt of killing him in the first place was the guilt of not feeling the same way he felt.
“You can't tell me how to feel, Angelika. You can't dictate to me what's in my heart. I will always love you.”
“Justin, please don’t.”
“Angel, don’t you see? It’s only right that now I can have something in common with you. For you to see me as an equal. If I can continue to feed you, I will gladly do it for eternity.”
Knowledge and Bodiel looked at each other with raised eyebrows.
“Thank you,” Justin said to Bodiel. “You've given me something priceless. I can never repay you.”
“You're welcome,” they said in unison.
Between the still-frozen Mahá and my love-struck, immortal donor, I was completely overwhelmed. “I'll deal with you later,” I said to Justin. “Go home now.” He didn't move. “Please?”
“I don't know how,” he said. “Maybe I can just stay here with you?”
I looked to Bodiel. “He should at least go back and put some closure on his relationships. What about his family?”
“You'll have to close chapters in your mortal life eventually,” Knowledge said to Justin. “But you need not do any of that tonight. Go home and Angel will be in touch with you soon.”
Bodiel zapped him away before he could protest. “It would seem,” he said as he rubbed his hands together, “that although his flesh is now immortal, his emotions and mind continue to be mortal. Fascinating.”
I shook my head, thinking of the implications of what just happened and what it meant for my relationship with Justin. But I couldn’t dwell on it now, there was another four-alarm fire burning. “Can we get the Mahá back to normal?” I asked. “Why is this frozen-in-time thing happening? How do I control it?
“It's quite simple, Angel,” Bodiel replied. “You have acute anxiety disorder. Your abilities get heightened the more anxious you get, and the resulting display is like a barometer. The more emotional you feel, the more intense the reaction.”
“You've already figured out how to get things out of the time freeze and back to where they were the moment before,” Knowledge said. “Now, you'll have to learn how to control your reactions so the freeze doesn't happen unless you want it to.”
“My family's been helping me to stay calm.”
“And they've been doing an excellent job. There's no reason to duplicate their efforts. Except in this one instance. When you freeze time, it's an almost instantaneous reaction and there's no time for them to do damage control. By the time they have a chance to respond, it's too late. They can't help you. But we can.”
It was almost as if Bodiel and Knowledge had answered my prayer for help! They exchanged a quick glance before continuing. “We'll stick to the methods you've been using,” they said in unison. “We'll help you calm down before things get out of hand. We'll show you how to channel this power so that you'll be in total control of it.”
“Let's go back now,” Bodiel said. Before he finished the sentence, we were all back in the great room, surrounded by my frozen Mahá. Everyone resumed their positions: Moira with her sword, Shoftiel with his shottie, and Cassandra with her bared teeth.
I started re-circulating the molecules as I had done in the Garden. “Wait a minute.” I stopped to face Knowledge, “How do I explain my now-immortal donor to Mom? Surely she'll see that he's changed?”
“Don't worry about it,” she said. “I'll have it figured out by tomorrow. And we're just your typical Ancient One guests, okay?”
“Got it,” I answered before continuing to stir the air. Soon the gasps were again coming from every human immortal except me. Knowledge and Bodiel were nowhere to be seen.
“Put that sword down,” I bellowed at Moira. “And you,” I said to Cassandra, “don't you come to my Mahá stirring up trouble.” I pointed to the glowing Yah. “My family is still the law under this roof. You must honor our authority.”
Dead silence from the guests, many of whom, I supposed, had never heard anyone talk like that to an AO before. Knowing they could say nothing that would go against the wishes of Bodiel and Knowledge, a mollified Moira sheathed her sword while Cassandra glared at me. Shoftiel, sure that Moira was no longer on the attack, put away his gun. Dad and Mom shot disapproving looks at me while Cici covered her open mouth with her hand. Nobody else moved. For I second, I wondered if they were frozen again. But, no. Everyone was just stunned.
I was too exhausted and hungry to care what everyone thought of my outburst. I motioned to the band to play something, and asked a shaking waiter to follow me with some pitchers of blood, before heading straight for my bed.
24. MAHÁ FROM HELL
“Idiot!” Cici said. “What are you thinking? Don't you know AOs can destroy you in an instant?”
Barely awake, I rolled over in the California king-sized bed to find my parents, brothers and sisters there in the room staring at me. I didn't know how to answer Cici’s question without breaking my promise to Bodiel and Knowledge. I remembered the warning the angels gave me and the coolness with which Shoftiel pointed his otherworldly shotgun at my nose. I had to keep my family safe. The tightrope of secrecy I’d walked in the past paled in comparison to the one I was navigating now.
“Mom,” I said. “You said there was a time when the AOs walked among us, even lived with us. Why should we be so afraid of them now?” Mom and Dad looked at each other.
“She speaks truth,” Memnon said. It was the first time I heard him say a sentence in English.
“Angelika,” Dad said sharply, “did the time freeze happen again?”
I sat up. Was I being paranoid, or were Adrian, Aurora, Menelik, and Memnon farther away from the bed than everybody else? “Yes,” I answered carefully. “It happened again.”
Keeping my mind locked, I casually glanced at Cici to see if she
registered any awareness of the events that took place after the freeze started. Like Knowledge said, she had no idea. “I fixed it though,” I continued. “I think I'll soon be able to control it completely.” I left out the part about being tutored by archangels.
As if they shared one face, the twins threw me identical strange looks, and Aurora watched me with guarded eyes. I needed to work harder to convince them all I was okay. “Listen up, everybody. I am not Tunde. I am not about to go postal on Mom or anyone in this family—”
“Postal?” interrupted Memnon, confused. “What does this mean, this postal?” Menelik slid him an info-packed glance and Memnon immediately nodded in understanding. I continued.
“And I'm not going to go postal on anyone outside of the family, unless they try to harm one of us. Power, protection, loyalty, forever. Right? So please stop staring at me like I have an extra head growing out of the side of my neck.” I looked each one of them in the eye, begging them silently to believe me. Eventually, even Aurora relented.
I zipped into the dressing room. Cici was already in there. “Wear what you want,” she said. “You don't have the next ritual until this afternoon and ‘til then everyone’s free to do whatever they want.” She peered at me for a moment. “There's something different about you, Angel. It seems like you grew up when we weren't looking. And even though we’re locked, I don’t know exactly how or when it happened.”
I wanted to tell her what went down when she wasn’t looking, but there was that tightrope again… She continued. “I know there's more. I'm not even sure why except for something Mom told me. She said there was a part of you that was hidden away. Inaccessible.”
I remembered eavesdropping on Cici and Mom's conversation, but I never told her that the two-way thing had happened. Suddenly, it seemed like I was hiding everything from everybody and for a moment, I felt very shady.
I still have faith in you, she was saying in my head. I know you're not another Tunde. Or worse than Tunde. Just be careful, sis.
She left me to dress. Demeter came in, but I waved her away. I wasn’t up for dealing with the groupie vibe right now. Looking relieved, she darted quickly from the room like a scared rabbit. Oh well, the Mahá madness cost me a fan.