by Ava D. Dohn
* * *
There was no celebrating aboard the Sophia when reports were received that enemy armadas had withdrawn from the field. This day had been too exhausting and far too costly. The carrier itself suffered greatly enough that damage control had not fully assessed the ship’s condition four hours after the battle. Already the medical bays and emergency triage stations were filled with the dying and injured, with nearby morgues set up to handle the dead.
The fighters and heavies having returned were only precursors of the bad news to come. Casualties among the heavy bomber crews of ten to twelve were running as high as sixty percent. Many fighters were so badly shot up that pilots were forced to abandon them to the Navy tugs while they were transported by scullers back to the carrier. Then there was the sad news coming in from around the fleet and down on MueoPoros.
Mihai sat alone in Terey’s cabin. She had wandered here shortly after the briefing in the command room where news arrived from the rescue team concerning Terey. There were no words Mihai could find to describe the gut-wrenching ache in her belly and choking constriction in her throat she had since it was reported that Terey was dead. For over an hour she had lingered, staring at the floor, hands hugging her knees.
In time, Mihai’s eyes began to drift around the room noticing some of Terey’s valued mementos. They stopped when seeing a picture on the wall just above a tiny writing desk. She rose and walked over, bending close to examine it.
It was an old picture, taken many centuries ago and encased in crystal to preserve it. In the background was an ancient Coriveon fighter, the kind used during the Megiddo Wars. Terey and Mihai stood in front, wearing grimy flight suits, greasy dirt on their grinning faces, hugging for the picture. Mihai reached up and removed it from the wall, staring at it as a lonely emptiness grew in her heart.
Terey was an Ancient, born shortly after the beginning of the First Age. She had been one of the great advocates for Universal Convergence and was influential in the creation of the Council Directorate, an organization made up of Ancients who acted as purveyors and teachers of Common Law - the principles of life handed down by the Ones Who Came Before, the Cherubs. The leaders of the Council Directorate were influential in the creation of the Twenty-four Elders, Lowenah’s personal council. Several of the permanent members came from the Council Directorate.
Mihai still understood little about the Council Directorate, it being a secret organization. She did know that long before his open rebellion, Asotos spoke disapprovingly of the organization, calling it ‘a society in question’. Although never publicly discrediting it, he unofficially removed its members from his personal council. What Mihai did not know was that all members of the Council Directorate were also the Children of Lagandow - the Holy Order of the Seraphim.
Sometime after Mihai’s coming of age, Terey and certain other Ancients befriended her, showering her with more than the ordinary attention. She remembered how motherly they became after Ma-we gave the Lower Realms to her. It was almost overwhelming to share close company with people like Tolohe, Planetee and Terey. To this day, she did not fully understand why they took to her so.
Feelings of guilt began to build in the back of Mihai’s head and, like a bomb, exploded down her neck and into her chest. Why had she treated Terey so coldly that day at her council meeting? Deep inside her soul, Mihai knew it had nothing to do with Terey not being part of the Council of Eighty. No, something else nagged her the same way it had nagged her about PalaHar except she knew he was at Ma-we’s council that day. Something was not quite right in her head. She felt all screwed up like there was someone playing games in her mind, twisting it to their will, chiding her for those guilty feelings.
What was wrong? Was someone inside her head attempting a coup over her sanity? Sweat beaded up on her face and her palms became clammy as a feeling of panic grew in her heart. Just as Mihai thought she could no longer control a desire to scream, Sirion stepped through the door.
Startled to see Mihai, Sirion let out a gasp. After catching her breath, the girl exclaimed, “I came to gather her things. Didn’t expect you!”
Mihai clutched Sirion’s shirt in anger. “Why didn’t you expect me to be here?! Do you think I didn’t care for Terey?! Or do you think me to be a spy?!”
Shock on Sirion’s face changed to suspicion. She discerned something hiding behind Mihai’s eyes, something that had always been there but never noticed by the girl. Sirion hissed, “By night it walks to death’s delight. It takes the blood of souls in flight. To see it now beneath the skin, tells me I know its next of kin.”
Inside Mihai’s mind, a voice screamed out as if in agony, “Make it go away! Make it leave! It hurts me! It hurt me! The little spider weaves tunes of torture! It seeks our death! Beware, it seeks our death!”
Sirion was surprised because she could hear the voice inside Mihai. She smiled and added another verse to her rhyme, “Your kindred ruled a throne like you…until a Cherub ran him through. Tonight another your flesh shall find, for his silver blade will pierce her mind.”
The voice screeched in anger and frustration, “It seeks our death! It will destroy us both!” But Sirion’s power was too great for the beast hiding inside Mihai’s mind. It fled in panic back to the deeper recesses of her memory. Mihai released Sirion and grabbed hold of her head. Crying out in pain, she made her way to the bed and sat.
Sirion hurried to her side. “My Lord, my Lord, I’m so sorry. Something inside me told me words to say. I don’t know what they mean.”
Mihai shook her head, saying otherwise. “No. No, my child. You should not apologize. You have rescued me from something darker than death… a living death, if you can understand.”
Sirion could grasp Mihai’s meaning in her heart, making a haunting reply, “There is an evil that surrounds us, for I can feel it. Even here it lurks in dark corners hiding from view while crying out with deceptive love songs.” A chill ran down her back as she considered the true meaning of those words.
The two held each other until the disquiet subsided. Asking Sirion to remain with her, Mihai recommended they search Terey’s closed writing desk. She opened the folding top and began digging through the compartments inside.
They found letters and personal effects that were special to Terey, but nothing of note, until…until Mihai happened upon a weathered notebook. It was quite large and very old. As carefully as Mihai tried, she could not help but tear an occasional page. Much of what was recorded therein was in an unknown script, but written in Terey’s hand. Mihai puzzled over it. Sirion stared in wonder, for she could read what the book said. Something inside her mind said to remain silent.
As she slowly turned the pages, Mihai came across the letter she sent to Terey before the Prisoner Exchange. Nearing the end of the letter, she began to read aloud.
‘This fire begets fire. I watched at the council meeting. The younger ones among our kind are being caught up in this blaze for war. A hatred and bloodlust is growing in them. I fear what I see, and yet I know I must allow it to grow and develop. We, my dear Terey, are the Old Guard. We must become young again. We must support the changes taking place. What we are seeing arise is a new creation - a creation that will save us from ourselves and will finish, in its way, what was started so long ago. I believe we are witnessing the birth of the new Dragons.’
Mihai sighed. At least Terey got the letter before being injured on the Chisamore. She searched a little more and, much to her surprise, found an unfinished letter addressed to her and dated the same day the Chisamore was sabotaged. It read, in part:
‘My Dearest Sister,
How much I do love you, and how sweet your words are to me. I long for the day when our worlds will see peace and we can again refresh ourselves in the love of days now past.
...My dear Mihai, we are not seeing a new creation arise, but an old creation being reborn. From long ago it slept whil
e darkness grew in the universe. When it awoke, there was too little strength in it to defeat the darkness. For all this time, the old creation awaited the day long promised when it would be united with new blood. I believe this day is soon in coming.
...Please do not feel dismay for the future. It is not a future of death and gloom but one of rebirth, for the old shall become young again and the weak will become strong. While it is true that the old order must pass away, it is not such a bad thing. No longer will a wicked heart deceive innocent minds, for the power from beyond us will be the possession of many. We - you and me - will be reborn, and shall become the Dragon-slayers.’
Mihai held the letter close to her breast. “I was such a fool! Why do I live when a soul with a golden heart no longer sings with joy?”
Sirion, still looking at the notebook, spied an envelope that had been hidden between some pages. “Look, my Lord, a sealed letter and it has your name on it!”
Picking it up, Mihai noticed the date was the same as when Terey took Sirion’s fighter. What might be inside filled her heart with dread. Did Terey unleash her venom in one final tirade, knowing Mihai would be unable to make reply or seek forgiveness for her actions? It took Sirion’s urging to get her to open it. Tears ran freely as she read the carefully written note.
‘My Lord and King,
Never have I loved a person more than I have loved you. But there comes a time when love alone will not settle an issue. I cannot prove to you my loyalty in any greater way than to place my soul in front of yours at this crucial hour.
If you are reading this, then I am no longer able to hold my shield in defense of your safety. I do not regret my sacrifice nor do I wish you to hold yourself responsible in any way. Had I been more mild-tempered and less impulsive, we would have settled our differences long before. I refused to see you not because I was still angry with you, but out of shame for my earlier feelings, I could not face you.
There are many things I wish to tell you but a vow keeps me silent. Stay close to PalaHar for he is a shining light for you. I cannot tell you with certainty who is a friend to you or not other than the Eighty. But you must be aware that not all claiming to be are seeking your betterment.
Please trust our little sister, Sirion, for I see she has a power inside her more ancient than the mountains and more insightful than the wisest of seers. Listen to her counsel as if it were that of DungenBarr, for I perceive a part of his soul residing within her.
My dearest, no love is worth losing unless it is lost for love. You are worthy of all my love. May it keep you warm on the coldest of nights...
Terey’
Sirion could find no words to console Mihai as she sobbed and sobbed until no more tears could come. Mihai cursed her life, her birth, her stupidity. With surprise, Sirion noted that the occasional tear that fell upon the opened pages of the notebook turned the ancient paper blood red.
Mihai spoke of Terey’s great respect she had for Sirion and offered the notebook to her as a keepsake. As she lifted it to hand it over, a silver flash of metal caught her eye. Trying to catch it as it slid from the book, she fumbled, flipping the book onto the floor. The shiny silver blade of a finely crafted letter opener spun in the air and fell point first into Mihai’s hand. Mihai’s fingers instinctively snapped tight, closing around it to prevent its falling to the floor. She let out a cry of pain as the point pierced her palm.
The blade was as sharp as a derker and sliced through Mihai’s hand so that the point protruded through it. Blood dripped on the book lying open on the floor, making a sizzling sound as it hit. Sirion stared dumbly, spellbound, watching a burning mist rise from the bloodied page.
Mihai let out another cry as she opened her hand. “A fire burns along my arm! I fear it seeks my destruction! What kind of witchery is this?!”
The burning fire flooded her body as both women watched, transfixed, seeing the silver blade quickly melt into Mihai’s flesh until it disappeared into the wound. Then, even more astounding, the wound closed and instantly healed!
For several more minutes this fire raced throughout Mihai’s body. Then, in one final outburst, Mihai cried, “My head! Oh, my head!”
She heard another voice inside her mind cry out in terror. “It seeks to kill us! It seeks to kill us!” The screaming grew fainter as though the ugliness within retreated back to the deepest recesses of her mind.
A sudden rush like a fresh breath of spring raced from Mihai’s heart to her mind and back to her heart. For the first time in so many months she felt free and in control of her soul again.
It was all so confusing. What was it really all about? She asked Sirion her opinion.
“My Lord, I am but a child of this age.” Sirion confessed, attempting to avoid giving a direct answer, which for some unexplainable reason the girl knew. There was a tiny voice in her head encouraging her not to share that knowledge with Mihai. “You have many questions in need of answers. There are times when wisdom is best displayed by not extolling one’s viewpoint.”
Mihai wondered what she was to do. Who, if anyone, was there to ask? Sirion suggested, “Terey recommended PalaHar or an aged member of the Eighty. Might wisdom be to wait and confide in one of those people? For a certainty, you know for a fact you will not be misled to your detriment.”
Agreeing, Mihai suggested, “There exists one person on board whom I can trust… that is, if she will tolerate my company.” She sadly shook her head. “I do not blame Gabrielle if she refuses to see me. In fact, it’s what I half expect. Still, I must begin with her.” Standing, Mihai asked Sirion to take Terey’s gathered items back to her stateroom, while she went in search of the admiral.
It took several minutes to reach the captain’s bridge, what with all the battle damage. Elevators were not in operation and many compartments of the ship were still sealed, requiring Mihai to make several detours. When she finally reached the bridge, Gabrielle was not there.
Admiral SujinKotoku was observing on the bridge while the Sophia’s captain and officers hurried about with their duties. Operations on a ship this size were a monumental undertaking under normal conditions. The admiral believed the captain was better qualified to care for the over six thousand sailors, Marines, and Army personnel currently aboard. He attempted to remain conspicuous, in case the captain sought his assistance, while staying out of the way so as to not hamper activities.
Seeing the admiral standing idle midst the wild confusion, Mihai approached. “Admiral Sujin, have you seen Admiral Gabrielle?”
The admiral bowed in respect. “My Lord, the admiral was with me on this bridge when a dispatch was handed her. I saw her pale as she read the note. Excusing herself, the admiral left, asking me to stand in her stead.”
“Did she say where she was off to?” Mihai asked, fearing her question sounded too intrusive.
Shaking his head, Admiral Sujin answered, “No, my Lord, but I feel she departed out of need. I fear the news she received was grave.”
Not desiring to appear unconcerned, Mihai asked about the welfare of the ship and crew.
Sujin gave her a weary smile. “We shall survive, my Lord, but this has been a day filled with suffering. Many a fine sailor will not return from this voyage. Our aft hangar deck was severely damaged, killing a large portion of the maintenance crew. The hull was breached in several places, bombs exploding within sealed compartments. We haven’t reached all of those areas yet.”
He reassured her, “This is one of the toughest ships I’ve ever served on. There is no present threat to its overall safety. Our loss has been to our crew and passengers.” He then suggested, “If you are able, a visit to our medical bays would be most appreciated by the wounded. I mentioned this to Lady Anna also. She said she would see what could be done.”
Mihai thanked Sujin for the information, promising to visit the medical bays shortly and then politely took her leave.
The admiral’
s office door was open. Mihai poked her head in the room but saw no one. At the far end of the office there was another door that led into Gabrielle’s private quarters. Hesitantly, she entered the room. Standing there, to build up her courage and consider what might be said, she pondered her last encounter in this room.
How could she have acted so stupidly? Gabrielle was a person whose existence passed beyond the mists of time. The days of her creation were a mystery to Mihai. The women was ageless like the mountains, older than the very hills Mihai had played on when a child. Why had she considered herself as wise and noble as this most venerated and majestic of Mawe’s children?
Being as quiet as possible, Mihai cautiously made her way across the room until she stood in front of the doorway leading into Gabrielle’s private chambers. She knocked softly on the doorsill and waited. There was no reply. She knocked once more…still nothing. Building up her courage, she stepped into the room.
Gabrielle sat on the edge of her bed, facing away from the doorway with both feet still on the floor, her head slumped forward, its long platinum-white hair hanging limp, hiding the woman’s face. One hand was placed on the admiral’s left knee, while she threw most of her weight on her right hand, which was rested on the bed. Mihai thought she could hear subdued crying.
“My sister...” Mihai gently called. “My sister…”
Not having heard Mihai enter, the woman was startled and turned quickly to see who spoke. Mihai saw Gabrielle’s tearstained face and red puffy eyes. Her heart began to ache over her sister’s agony.
Gabrielle turned away as quickly as she had looked, replying coldly, “Please go away!”
Mihai was stunned. She wanted to tell Gabrielle just how sorry she was. “Please...” She begged.
Gabrielle did not move. In a broken voice, she bitterly rebuffed Mihai, “You have gifted me too well already, woman! Alone I have always been and alone I shall remain. Now leave me!”
A burning ache grew in Mihai’s chest, but there was nothing she could do. It was clear that Gabrielle wished her gone. She backed from the room, tears of guilt-filled remorse welling up in her eyes.
Nearing the office door, Mihai spied a crumpled paper on the floor. She picked it up, carefully unfolding it. As she read the message, the import of Gabrielle’s words to her struck a heavy blow to her heart.
‘Dear Admiral Gabrielle,
I am sorry to inform you of the news that General PalaHar was wounded in combat and succumbed to his injuries this last eve. His passing is grieved by all of us here at Army Command. I am aware of the general’s deep affection he had for you. He spoke of you constantly. Please accept my deepest sympathies. I am personally making arrangements for his return to EdenEsonbar.
Your sister in grief,
TrishaQaShaibJal’
Mihai’s hands trembled as her soul filled with grief and guilt. How could her sister ever forgive her for sending away the one man who could console her in her hour of need? Fool! Stupid fool! Oh, how she just wanted to die and be done with her worthless life.
She stepped from the room, desiring to find a way to die. Life was no longer a good thing. Why had she continued to go on when others far more deserving were gone and by her own hand they had perished. ‘How will you wash the blood from your hands now, Judas? Should God call forth a thousand angels to cleanse you of your wickedness, there should be no redemption for you. Death? Is death not too great a gift to give to one so wicked? One must suffer for such evil. The evil of eternal darkness with no hope of release is what you deserve.’
Mihai was given little more time to contemplate her wickedness and its deserved punishment. A sudden rush of people in the corridor forced her to focus on other more urgent matters. Emergency rescue crews carrying a number of litters bearing wounded passed Mihai, pressing her against the wall. A hand went up from one of the stretchers reaching out for Mihai as a weak voice cried out for the bearers to stop.
Mihai instinctively reached for the hand, looking down into the face of a horribly burned, disfigured woman. A voice, as if already calling out from beyond the grave, pleaded with her, “My Lord. My Lord…a blessing upon us, my Lord. Please…have we honored you today? Please let us know our labors have not been in vain.”
Any selfish thoughts Mihai was harboring vanished from her mind as her heart filled with compassion and sorrow. She leaned close to the woman so her words could be clearly understood. “You have honored us all with everything that is yours. A far greater person are you than I. Should our fates only be reversed, I would feel myself the most blessed of women, for you have proved your valor and have wrested the victory away from the Evil One. You I should ask the blessing from...”
This was the ‘Michael Beloved’ the people knew and adored - the pure, unbridled, passionate woman who spoke from a selfless heart. Here was the woman divine who could move armies with her mere presence, could calm the seas of despair, and lift the spirits of the dying. All eyes turned to her, pleading for her approval and blessings. There was nothing for Mihai to do other than remain with this woman as she was hurried to the medical bay.
Many long hours later, Paul found Mihai curled up in a corner of the main triage center, amidships, dead asleep. He sat down beside her, leaned his head against the bulkhead and gently massaged her arm. For the remaining time aboard the Sophia, Mihai administered her medicine to the wounded and dying, refusing to leave until she had visited it upon all those in need.