“Oh Danni, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe they made you do that. They are such assholes.”
“No they are not.” I looked at her like she was crazy. “Ella, you have to see it from their perspective. I mean can you imagine some strange girl you never met showing up at your house and telling you they were pregnant with your son’s baby?”
“Yeah, I see your point,” I said, imagining the horrified look on my mom’s face when Danni told her.
“I didn’t have to listen to them, but I did. They were right. Xander had…has a bright future ahead of him and a baby would have destroyed that. The only thing I regret is letting him go.”
“What do you mean?”
“After I told him I was pregnant with someone else’s baby, Xander still wanted to be with me, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face him every day and lie to his face. At first it was hard, but over time it got easier.”
Her confession made me think of Tristan and I wondered that if over time, losing him would get easier. Then it made me think. “You came back though, why?”
“Your mom. She felt guilty and didn’t want Hadley to grow up without a family.”
“That’s why they bought you a house and gave you a job.” She nodded even though it wasn’t a question.
“And help out with Hadley,” she added.
“You still love him, don’t you?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer. Danni bowed her head unable to form words to describe what she was feeling. “Danni I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how you must feel right now,” I said, taking her hand. “And you have to know Xander would have done the right thing if he knew. He wouldn’t have let you go.”
“I know,” she said with a sad smile. Not knowing what else to say, I wrapped my arms around her and gave a tight squeeze. She hugged me back and I could tell she was trying really hard not to cry.
“Am I interrupting?” Xander asked, stepping inside my room. Danni pulled back and hastily wiped away the few tears that managed to escape.
“No, what’s up?” I asked.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Danni, privately,” he said, looking straight at her.
“Umm,” I looked at Danni. She shook her head letting me know it was okay. “Yeah, I’ll be downstairs.” I left the room, closing the door behind me. But I didn’t go downstairs. Instead, I pressed my ear close to the door. At first I heard nothing. I leaned in closer, thinking they just didn’t start yet.
Still nothing.
What were they doing, whispering?
Suddenly the door swung open and there was a very annoyed Xander standing on the other side.
Crap, I was busted.
“Goodbye Ella,” Xander said, standing by the door, waiting and watching until I went downstairs. When I got to the bottom of the steps, I heard him shut the door. I contemplated about going back and trying to listen again, but he would just probably catch me, again. I wondered if this new school would teach us how to be stealthy. I shrugged it off and decided to check on Hadley and Jake. They were still sound asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. I brushed aside Hadley’s hair and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead. I can’t believe I have a niece. I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen the similarities before. She had Xander’s green eyes and that thick, dark hair. Dean was the only one in the family who had brown eyes. I always wondered if they made a mistake at the hospital. It would explain a lot.
I gazed over them one more time before I headed into the kitchen and helped myself to some of the leftover cake from desert. I felt a cool breeze and noticed the back door was slightly ajar. I went to close it when I spotted my mom outside on the deck wrapped up in a blanket. I grabbed my coat, an extra fork, and joined her outside. “Ella, what are you doing out here, it’s too cold. You should go back inside.”
“It’s not that bad.” It had warmed up considerably since this morning. “What are you doing out here?”
“It’s a nice night. I wanted to enjoy it,” she said, poking at the logs in the fire pit. The smoke and ash stirred, sending waves of embers swirling in the air as the fire spread and grew, warming the area around us. My mom sat back and lifted the blanket so I could join her in the cocoon. It had stopped snowing a few hours ago and already started to melt as if it was never here in the first place. I snuggled up closer to my mom for warmth and then handed her a fork. “Are Jake and Hadley still sleeping?” she asked, taking the fork graciously and helping herself to some cake.
“Yes,” I said.
She paused for minute and looked at me. “Is something bothering you?”
“No,” I lied.
“Ella, I am your mother. You cannot lie to me. Besides, your aura tells me otherwise.”
“My what?” I said, giving her a sideways glance.
“Your aura, I can see it. It gives me a feel for your emotions although it’s not always accurate.”
“You can see auras?”
“Well, it’s more like colors. That’s part of my power and I’m also very intuitive,” she smiled.
“That would explain a lot.”
She laughed. “Well, I would like to think most of it was basic mother intuition, but my powers do help.”
“Is that what my power is?”
“Maybe, we will find out. I have a feeling you’re going to surprise us,” she winked taking another big bite of cake.
“What else can you do?”
“I can manipulate emotions.”
“How so?” I asked intrigued.
“When someone is angry, I can calm them down or when someone is upset, I can take away their sadness.”
“Is that what you did to me?” She looked away not wanting to answer. “It’s okay mom. I understand why you would do it. If it was you I would have done the same thing.”
“Ella, most of it was you. I only took away a little bit to make it easier for you to heal, but the rest of it was you. You did it all on your own.”
I leaned on her shoulder. I knew she was telling the truth. This was definitely something my mom would not lie to me about. “Is that why you’re always able to calm dad?”
“Mostly. He would say it’s me and not my powers that calm him. “I rolled my eyes and she laughed. “Ella, when you fall in love, you’ll understand.” I think I already did. I did love Tristan, I still do. “Now honey, what’s really bothering you?”
“If you’re so intuitive, then why don’t you tell me?” I challenged.
She gave me her annoyed mother look before taking a deep breath, closing her eyes, and concentrating. “You know,” she said, letting out a breath. “You know Hadley is Xander’s.”
I stared at her in astonishment. “Wow, you really are good.”
She laughed. “No. Just a good listener.” I looked at her funny. “I overheard you and Danni talking.”
“Mom, that’s eavesdropping and not very nice,” I scowled.
“You’re one to talk,” she countered.
“I have no idea what you are talking about?” I said, trying to play the innocent.
“Uh-huh,” she smiled and tried to take another piece of cake, but I pulled it away.
“Wait, how often do you spy?”
“I wasn’t spying Ella. I could feel Danni’s emotions. They were very strong so I opened myself up to understand what was going on and that’s when I heard what you were talking about.”
“You don’t do that all the time do you?” I wondered how many private conversations she listened in on without me knowing.
“Ella no. Like I said, when emotions are that strong, I get pulled in. I never invade anyone’s privacy unless I feel it’s necessary.”
“And exactly how many times did you feel it necessary?” I teased, still holding the cake away.
“Would you stop it Ella?” she said. “Look at me and tell me you really believe I would do that.” I studied her. If she could really read auras and emotions then she’d already know my answer, which for the most part I believed she wouldn’t int
entionally invade someone’s privacy.
She hit me. “Ow! What was that for?” I complained, rubbing my leg.
“I know what you were thinking,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. I couldn’t help but crack a smile. “Now give me that cake.”
“Get your own,” I said, turning and holding the plate away from her.
“Ella, do not disobey your mother.” She pulled me around and swiped the cake from my hands. “Hey!” I shouted. “Maybe if you learn to share,” she said.
“Fine,” I grumbled.
Her teasing smile turned serious. “Ella, you do understand that you cannot tell Xander about Hadley or anyone for that matter.”
“Yeah, I do,” I sighed. “It just sucks.”
“The important thing is Hadley and Danni are safe and will stay that way as long as no one knows.”
“Are they in danger?” I asked worried.
“No, but it is just better this way.”
I relaxed back into the chair and let her finish the rest of the cake. There was no reason to dwell on the Hadley Xander issue so I moved on. I wanted to know more about her powers. “So when you say you feel emotions, does that mean you feel everyone’s all the time?”
“Yes and no. I learned how to control it. People I’m closer to and care about I feel their emotions the strongest.”
“So you experience what their feeling?”
“Yes, so when you hurt I hurt,” she said softly.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what dear?”
“That you have to feel what I do.”
“Ella, don’t ever be sorry for feeling the way you do. Yes it makes me sad to know how badly you are hurting, but it also helps me to understand better what you’re going through.”
“I guess,” I said.
“Ella, I love you no matter what and I never want you to hold anything back, okay?” I nodded slowly and laid there with her for a while, taking comfort in the fact that maybe she did understand how I was feeling and sad because she had to feel it with me.
Chapter Five
In the morning, I made Jake and Hadley breakfast. Danni was still sleeping when they woke up and I didn’t want to disturb her. I could only imagine how she was feeling so I decided to let her sleep in. She deserved a day off.
When Hadley and Jake were done eating, I let them play for a while before I took Jake home. He didn’t want to leave Hadley which I thought was cute. It reminded me of when Kyle and I first met. He told me he never wanted to be away from me and would always protect me from danger. This was followed by him running around the yard with a plastic shield and sword chasing Xander and Dean. Dean was the dragon and Xander was the evil king. The things we did and said when we were five. I laughed to myself at the memory as I waited for Jake to say goodbye to Hadley.
“You know Jake, you only live a few houses down. If you want you can come and play with Hadley again.” His eyes lit up and I could tell I just made his day. He hugged my leg and waved goodbye to Hadley. Once I saw Jake was safely inside, Hadley and I walked back to the house to find Danni awake and already in the kitchen cleaning.
“Mommy!” Hadley yelled, running into Danni’s arms.
“Morning baby, did you eat?”
“Ella made us breakfast!” she cheered.
“Not so loud honey. Mommy has a headache,” Danni cringed.
I had a hard time hiding my smile. “Come on Hadley. Why don’t we go play while mommy relaxes a little?” Danni whispered, “thank you,” and got back to work. I found Dean in the living room and he volunteered to keep an eye on Hadley for me so I could go back into the kitchen to help Danni. “Why don’t you eat something and I’ll clean up,” I told her.
“I’m afraid to eat,” she said honestly.
“Well, that’s what you get for downing glass after glass of wine last night,” I teased.
She just rolled her eyes. “What’s Hadley doing?”
“She’s playing with Dean. She convinced him to play Barbies with her.”
“You’re kidding?” she said, not believing what she just heard.
“Nope,” I laughed. “It really is a sight to be seen.” Danni laughed and continued to clean. I got up and grabbed her hand to stop her. “Danni, sit down, I got this,” I said, taking over for her.
“If you keep doing my job for me I won’t have one anymore,” she said as she sat down with a cup of coffee. She sipped it cautiously while resting her head on her hand.
“Please, I can guarantee you could be the worst maid ever and my parents still wouldn’t fire you.” She gave me a look saying, “don’t make me regret telling you about Hadley.” I held up my hands in defense. “I’m just saying, regardless.”
The kitchen was messier than I expected. I gave up half way through and Danni laughed at my pitiful attempt to help. She shooed me away once she finished her cup of coffee and I headed back into the living room to check on Hadley. She was still playing Barbies with Dean. I thought quickly and pulled out my phone to take a picture. The flash surprised him. Dean whipped his head around and glared at me. “What are you doing?” he asked, annoyed.
“Blackmail,” I smiled, waving my phone.
“Ella, if you don’t delete that picture I’ll…”
“You’ll what?” I teased.
“Dean!” Hadley yelled annoyed that he wasn’t paying attention to her.
“Have fun,” I sang and walked upstairs laughing.
“I’ll get you for this later,” he yelled aggravating Hadley again. I could hear her giving him a lecture for not listening to her, which made my day. When I reached my room I fell down on my bed, assessing the mess my Christmas presents made as they lay scattered around the room. I put my arms over my face and decided I would deal with the mess later and take a nap instead. My nap was interrupted by Dean barging into my room. He tried to compel me to delete the picture.
“It won’t work. You can’t compel me,” I said with a smug smile.
“What are you talking about,” he squinted, still trying. “I’ve done this before,” he admitted to my surprise.
“Yeah, thanks for that by the way,” I glared. “But for your information we learned I cannot be compelled.”
“Why not?” he asked frustrated. I shrugged. He still tried even after I told him he couldn’t. I continued to sit there, amused at his attempt. I gave him credit for his effort and laughed when he got mad and failed. After he started to break out into a sweat he finally gave up and left.
We discovered after Tristan tried to compel me and I later remembered, something wasn’t right. My dad decided to do a few tests which revealed that I could not be compelled. I also learned it was the reason for all my headaches and black outs when I was younger. My brothers had compelled me when we were little when they didn’t want to get in trouble for something they did. I never understood my lost time or headaches until now. This would also explain why no doctor could ever find anything wrong with me. Now knowing the truth, I had planned to get my brothers back for what they did to me. I was also happy they couldn’t do it anymore.
Since I could no longer sleep. I decided to clean up my room. Once I was done, I sat down at my computer desk and stared at the brochures my mom had left about the school I was going to attend in January. There were several different pamphlets including a map, all the different courses they offered and some other information they offered about the school. I moved my mouse on the computer and waited for the screen to come to life. I typed in the name of the school to do a little research on my own. I got very few results as the searches came up. I was beginning to discover that this school was more private than what it listed.
Since finding no new information on the computer, I shut it down and picked up the brochures to look over on my bed. I knew I would begin after their winter break ended sometime near the middle of January. My mom told me I only had a week left to choose my classes so everything would be organized and ready when I arrived. I flipped through the cour
se book to see what they had to offer. Most of what I found was stuff I never heard of. For instance, Vampire History 101, Spells and Castings levels 1-5, and the list went on. I knew most of my classes would be chosen for me. Being a first year student it was a prerequisite to take certain classes. I had very few choices of electives, most of which were sports, which I did not play. Thankfully they did have an art class and my only other option that I would be interested in would be dance. I checked both boxes and slipped the paper in the envelope.
I gave the paper to my mom and she said she would fax it to the school so they could get my schedule together for me. I still wasn’t looking forward to this, but at least I might be able to figure out what my powers are and how to use them. It really did suck having powers that you didn’t know what they did. My mom told me that sometimes even after you receive your powers you don’t always automatically get the full effect of them right away. She said they build over time.
Time was all I had lately.
Everyone was going to a party at The Hilton tonight for the New Year celebration. I opted to stay home with Danni and the kids. I wasn’t so much in the celebrating mood.
After playing all the day with Jake and Hadley, I decided to take a short nap knowing if I didn’t I wouldn’t make it till twelve. It was a little cool in the house so I searched my closet for a sweater. As I dug through my closet I came across the black dress Josie and Dixon made me buy back in Vermont. I ran my fingers over the shiny black fabric. I hugged it close to my chest and I swear I could hear the songs playing from that night. I squeezed my eyes tight and promised myself I wouldn’t cry. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I knew there was something I had to do. Something I’ve been putting off for too long.
I needed to let go of Tristan.
Holding onto something that didn’t exist anymore wasn’t healthy. I knew I needed to start the New Year fresh. I closed the closet door and lay down on my bed. It only took a few minutes before I fell asleep.
I was in the restaurant at the hotel we stayed at in Vermont. The one where I finally gave my heart to Tristan. The restaurant was empty. I was standing in the middle of the dance floor alone, and I was wearing the black dress. I looked around the empty space scared I wouldn’t find him.
The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven Page 47