Cameron looked conflicted, unsure what to do. I was sure she agreed with Dean, but didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. “Hey Ella –”
“I really don’t need one your smartass commentaries Cameron so spare me.”
“Wow, Ella, really?” She stormed off. I tried to call after her but she ignored me and I didn’t blame her.
How did I keep managing to piss people off? Oh yeah, because I kept opening my big mouth.
I took my time walking back to my room. When I reached my hall the only sounds I heard were the squeaking sounds my sneakers made as I dragged my feet. I was starting think it wasn’t necessary for them to put me in a hall all by myself. The way I was going I would probably have run off everyone all on my own. At first I thought the solitude would be great, but lately being alone wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
I decided to skip breakfast and head to my first class early. I thought maybe if I arrived before everyone else it would ease the shock of my return.
I so desperately wanted to throw on one of my hoodies and hide but it was the middle of June and almost ninety-eight degrees out. I opted instead for hiding under a hat and plugging my ear buds in. After I healed the tree, I had received several – not just one – new blue streaks. I was hoping that was the end of the streaks. I didn’t think it was possible I could get anymore. The entire underneath of my hair was now streaked with blue and a few on top.
I was first to arrive as planned. I took a seat in the back and took out my notebook. I had no idea where we had left off or what we were working on so I just doodled in my notebook until class started. No one noticed me as they shuffled in and took their seats. Cameron walked in last and ignored me, sitting as far away from me as she could.
“Hey Cam, so I heard you took off to get rid of your bastard baby. I just want to know, are the rumors true?” Some snooty blonde who I didn’t know asked Cameron.
“Oh Misty, you should really be careful. From what I heard your indiscretions are definitely more scandalous. So maybe next time you should take the dick out of your mouth before you speak,” Cameron said, smiling sweetly. Cameron got a few snickers from our classmates and made a very unhappy Misty turn red.
I smiled at Cameron’s retort, happy that she put that girl in her place. Mr. Hendal showed up shortly ending anymore discussion of rumors about Cameron’s illegitimate baby. For once I was glad I wasn’t at the root of the rumors but not happy that my friends were.
Mr. Hendal paused for a moment when he saw Cameron, but then continued as normal. “Class, take out your books and we will finish the chapter on the royal lines. I will be collecting your timelines at the end of class today. Cameron you can share with Misty,” he said, causing Cameron to roll her eyes at her sudden misfortune.
Mr. Hendal turned to the black board and proceeded to write the names of the royal families they had been working on. “McKinnon,” he started and my head shot up. “Is the last of the royal lines –” he stopped when he saw me. “Well class, it would appear we have a new student,” he said, looking directly at me and smirking. I knew he knew it was me, but felt the need to make an ass out of me. “Will someone please inform her of what the dress code is?”
Misty raised her hand. “Yes Miss Greer,” he pointed to her.
“No hats allowed during class,” she said, sitting up straight and pretending to be an astute student.
“Thank you Miss Greer. Now, will you kindly remove your hat,” he said to me, still smiling like an ass. Everyone turned around to look at me as I took off my hat and shook out my hair. They gasped as the realization of who I was became known. “Miss McCallister, it is so nice for you to grace us with your presence. I trust you had a nice little vacation.”
I decided to keep my mouth shut. I was in enough trouble already. Automatically the whispers started. “All right that’s enough,” Mr. Hendal said, shushing the class. “Chloe, will you please share your notes with Ella.”
Chloe looked less than thrilled, but complied anyways. I didn’t really remember her much. She had soft, wavy read hair that fell just short of her shoulders. Freckles covered her cheeks and nose. She kind of looked like little orphan Anne which I was sure she got teased about a lot when she was younger. She had a cute little purple beret in her hair to hold back what looked like bangs she was growing out.
I commented on her beret hoping to lighten things up, but it just made it worse. She pulled away from me and looked as if she was about to make a run for it. I guess with all the rumors going around about me she thought I was a loose cannon. I didn’t have to hear the rumors to know people were talking about me. I could hear their thoughts. I wasn’t spying on anyone like I promised, but their thoughts were so loud I couldn’t help but hear what they were all thinking. Some thought I planned the whole attack on the school as a decoy for my escape. One thought I ran away because I was too afraid to face Mackenzie after ‘stealing’ her man – that one made me laugh. Some thought I left because of the stress of everything or because I was too ashamed of myself for what happened. That one wasn’t far from the truth.
Other thoughts I heard were just ridiculous and I wondered where the hell they came up with this stuff. I heard excuses like – plastic surgery, my parents were broke and couldn’t afford to send me here anymore, sex change operation, I joined a cult, I moonlighted as a prostitute to pay for my drug problem, and so on. All interesting if I did say so myself, but the one that hurt the most was the one about me being to coward to break up with Roman in person. I didn’t know who said it or how they even knew something so private, but it was enough to make me slide back down in my seat and try to disappear.
Not being able to sit there for two hours and listen to all the gossip about me, I put in my ear buds and turned the volume down so I could still hear Mr. Hendal if necessary. I learned I could hide my headphones if I pulled them up through the back of my shirt and let my hair fall forward in to my face. No one ever noticed.
After royal politics, I didn’t even bother to go to my next two classes. I knew I would get in trouble, but really, what more could they do to me? Plus it wasn’t like I was missing anything important either. My next two classes were art and dance and they were electives. So instead of going to class I went back to my room and slept.
I didn’t get the sleep I so desperately wanted. I tossed and turned. Visions of the night Tristan and I spent together flashed in my head. My heart clenched as visions of him kissing me sent me into a spiraling downfall. Oh how I ached to feel him in my arms, to feel his lips on my skin, and his touch. Soon the visions swirled and I was in my dorm and it was Roman who was kissing me. My heart twisted inside my chest. Roman, Tristan, Roman, Tristan. I jumped back and forth in my dream between Roman and Tristan and before I knew it I could no longer tell who was who.
I gasped when I woke up. I sat up in my bed and gripped the sheets tight forcing myself not to cry. I cried enough already and all that did was give me a headache and red puffy eyes. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. Then I looked over at the clock. It was lunch time. I got up and put my hat back on and then I headed down to the cafeteria where I ran into Roman.
“Hey…last night,” I said, fidgeting with my thumbs. I looked up at him from underneath my hat.
“Was a mistake,” he said, clenching his jaw. “I thought you were different, but I guess I was wrong. You’re just like all the rest and you’ll never change.”
I looked at him wondering what he was talking about. I felt that somehow I missed something in the translation. “Roman…I’m not sure…what?”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re too self-involved to care about anyone but yourself.”
I gawked at his comment. “Excuse me?”
“I should have known you were nothing more than a spoiled little bitch. When things don’t go your way you tear people down and act as if they’re beneath you.”
Okay, that hurt. “First off –” I tried defending myself but he continued.
; “You know Gabe has used his spare time to help you out and all you do is treat him like someone who’s easily disposable.” Ah, so this was about this morning. “I’m just glad I found out who you really are before it was too late,” he said, storming off and letting the door slam behind him.
I stood there with my mouth open, staring at the big black doors to the cafeteria. I was in total and utter shock. How dare he say those things to me? He had no idea. I reached for the door ready to bust through and give him a piece of my mind when a couple of girls walked by whispering. “I can’t believe she has the nerve to show up back here,” “Especially after what she did to Roman,” “And all the trouble she caused at the dance,” “They should have sent her away to one of those institutions.” They acted like I couldn’t hear them.
I turned to glare, making them flinch, but only for a second before they started giggling again and pointing. “God, she is crazy,” the brunette with bad bangs said.
I decided I was no longer hungry and instead of letting my anger get the best of me I thought it best to go back to my room. I counted backwards from ten like Ms. Kraft had told me once before to do to help calm me down. Then I took some deep breaths to keep myself from turning back around and pummeling those girls.
I walked past the fountain and all the new trees and flowers we panted back in march. They were blossoming beautifully and full of life. I wandered, not paying attention to where I was going, until I realized I was at the entrance of the maze. I stopped and stared at the entrance. There was something about this maze. I always felt drawn to it but I had no idea why. I took a step closer and I was suddenly hit with images from that night. I closed my eyes and saw the nightmare all over again.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Being on edge, I grabbed the hand, spun around and flipped them onto their back. They landed with a loud thump. I took my stance ready to attack again. He groaned and rolled over to his side allowing me to see who it was. “Justin?”
“Damn Ella, if I would have known you were so touchy,” he said, groaning and rubbing his back.
I put my hand out to help him up. “Well what are you doing sneaking up behind me?”
“I called your name but you didn’t answer and then I saw you were about to go into the maze and I was not about to go in there and find you...again.”
“Sorry, I had my headphones in.” I gestured to my ear buds and pulled them out. “And I wasn’t going to go in there.”
“It didn’t look that way to me.”
“Look, is there something you want?” I said annoyed. I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture.
“Riley wanted me to find you to make sure you were alright since you weren’t at lunch.”
“Where is she?”
“In class.”
“Oh, why aren’t you in class?”
“Why aren’t you?” he retorted.
I eyed him a minute wondering what was going on underneath all that pretty blonde hair. “You can’t get in my head,” he said.
“I…wasn’t,” I stuttered. “Why not?”
He smiled. “It’s a wolf thing.”
I nodded. When he didn’t say anything else I asked, “Is that all?”
“That’s all. I guess I’ll be sure to tell Riley you’re fine,” he said, rubbing his shoulder for emphasis. I gave another slight nod and he walked away. “And hey Ella, do me a favor and stay out of the maze. Unless you plan on carrying a box of Oreos with you,” he winked, jogging off.
To be on the safe side and avoid any more run ins, I decided to head back to my room, hoping to avoid any unpredicted detours. When I returned I found Gabe outside my door sliding an envelope underneath. I wanted to say something to him, but chickened out and held myself back until he left. When I knew it was clear, I went to my room, and opened the envelope. Inside was a note.
After this morning I feel it best that I no longer train you. You lack discipline and concentration and I feel someone who can work with you one on one would be better suited for your needs. I have set up a schedule with your new trainer who will work with around your classes and other activities. You will meet with him promptly after dinner in the gym and start your sessions tomorrow. His name is Zane.
And that was it, the end of the letter.
I didn’t want a new trainer. I wanted Gabe, but I was a fool and I acted childish and I didn’t blame him for not wanting to train me anymore. I managed to dig myself a hole that I couldn’t get out of and that was because I just kept digging it deeper. I didn’t want to be the outcast, but lately everything I did put me at top of the list for number one weirdo.
I checked my watch and saw I had a while before dinner. I thought about meeting Zane before dinner, but I had no idea where he was or what he looked like. I wanted to call Gran, but I knew she wouldn’t answer – too busy traveling – and I didn’t want to leave a message on her answering machine. I offered several times to get her a cell phone, but she refused. She said the whole purpose of traveling alone was to be alone and with a cell phone people would bug you for nonsense all the time. Then she went into a story about people survived perfectly fine way before cell phones were invented and blah, blah – I dosed off somewhere in the middle of the conversation.
Gran always used to joke and say I could write her the old fashion way via snail mail, but where would I send the letters? She was never home and she herself never knew where she would be next. I sighed at a loss and sat on my bed. I lied back and told myself over and over again I would not cry. I said it so many times it was my own personal version of counting sheep and before I knew it I was out.
Chapter Twenty
I recognized the stone before I saw the name. Josie’s grave. I looked around the cemetery. There were only a few headstones and they were all lined up next to one another. I walked over to the perfect perpendicular line of stones and read the names off one by one; Liam McCallister, Jamila McCallister, Alexander McCallister, Dean McCallister, and the final one Ella McCallister. Only I stood in front of an empty grave where my tombstone lied. I turned around and sucked in a breath as Jack stood behind me, wicked smile on his face. I didn’t even have a chance to react before he plunged a stake into my chest. I fell backwards in the hole and landed onto the hard packed dirt beneath me. The impact took my breath away. I looked up at Jack as stood above me. I choked on the blood in my throat, gasping for air that wouldn’t come. Jack bent down, looking in to the hole. “You can’t win Ella. You weren’t meant to survive.”
I tried my hardest to fight through the pain, but all it did was advance my departure on this world. Soon my breaths were coming in quick short gasps. This was it. Jack had finally won. Jack stood above me with a shovel and a satisfied smile on his face. I took my last breath as Jack begun to shovel dirt into my grave and covered my body.
I sat up with a jolt, gasping for air. When I was finally able to catch my breath, I broke down and started to cry.
I didn’t think it was possible for someone to cry as much as I had. I thought by now I would have nothing left. I’d cried so many times in the past year I thought it was just second nature to me. I cried because it was what I was used to, my own personal comfort from this hell I felt trapped in. I let it all out. All the pain and anguish that had been building up inside me since I read the letter from Tristan and returned home. I thought I had buried it deep enough that I would never have to relive it. But once I started crying it was like a flood gate had opened up. I cried for all the loss, pain, and heartache I had been bottling up.
“Hey, don’t do that,” Josie said, scaring me so badly I almost fell off the bed.
“Christ Josie, I told you not to do that,” I said, staring at my best friend who was standing at the end of the bed. “What are you doing here? Does this mean you’re back?” I sat up excited, all thoughts of sadness fading.
She shook her head no and I sunk back down into my pillows. “They’re still determining what to do with me.”
“Aren’t you going to get in trouble
for being here?”
“What more could they do to me? Besides, I don’t care. My best friend is hurt and she needed me. You want to tell me what’s going on?” she asked, sitting beside me.
I threw my arms around her and started to cry on her shoulder. “Oh Josie everything is just falling apart. I keep messing everything up.”
She sighed and hugged me tight. “Ella, everything will be okay.”
“But you don’t know that. You still don’t even know what’s going to happen to you.”
“And do you see me crying like a baby?”
I pulled back and looked at her. “What?”
“Ella, you need to snap out of it!” she said, shaking my shoulders.
“Josie I…” I stuttered, shocked.
“Josie I…I…” she mocked. “Ella, I came here to tell you to stop this.”
“Stop what?” I asked, trying not to cry again.
“This,” she said, pointing at my tear streaked face. “Ella, you are strong. You are so much stronger than you believe yourself to be. You keep this up and you’ll spend the rest of your life in a dark room by yourself probably wearing all black clothes and getting your face pierced and…” she babbled.
“Josie!”
“Oh, sorry,” she giggled.
“Is there a point here?” I asked frustrated.
“My point is the Ella I know would not let some stupid boy get her down.”
“Boys,” I corrected.
“Whether it’s one, two, or twenty, the girl I know would not let any boy make her feel less than herself. You need to stand up for yourself and no matter what anyone throws at you learn how to take it and stop punishing yourself,” she said with a little more sympathy. “Ella, it pains me to keep seeing you like this. You need to look down within you and remember the person you are. The person who would never let anyone hurt you.”
The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven Page 114