by Sarah Morgan
His eyes narrowed, his mouth tightened and his shoulders tensed. ‘I’ll take the cases up to your room.’
He sounded like a hotel concierge, Christy thought miserably as they trailed their way upstairs. Showing her around. Any minute now he’d be wishing her a pleasant stay. She’d expected anger and hostility, but what she hadn’t expected was his coldness. She didn’t know how to deal with coldness.
The children ran ahead, whooping and shrieking, excited about seeing their rooms again, oblivious of the rising tension between the two adults.
Envious of their carefree, uncomplicated approach to life, Christy watched them go. ‘They’re so pleased to be here,’ she said softly, and Alessandro turned to her with something that was almost a growl.
‘Of course they are pleased to be here. It’s their home. They never should have left. And you never should have taken them!’
She inhaled sharply, shocked by the sharp stab of pain that lanced through her. He’d said that ‘they’ never should have left. He hadn’t said anything about her. He didn’t care about her. The only reason that he cared that she’d moved out was because he missed his children.
It was all about the children.
She felt a lump building in her throat and swallowed it down with an effort, reminding herself that she had to behave like an adult even though she wanted to break down and cry like a child.
‘You’re blaming me for this situation, Alessandro?’
‘You’re the one who decided to move out of the family home.’
It was only supposed to be temporary, she wanted to shout. You were supposed to come after me. But pride stopped her saying what she wanted to say. Pride and the knowledge that he hadn’t cared enough to come after her.
Her eyes blazed into his. ‘And that makes this my fault?’
‘I missed one lousy anniversary.’ His eyes flashed dark with frustration and he ran both hands through his hair. ‘And you walked out.’
Christy bit her lip. He just didn’t get it. He couldn’t even understand why she was so upset. How had they come to this?
She swallowed hard. ‘It wasn’t about the anniversary, Alessandro.’ Although that had hurt badly. ‘It was so much more than that. And we can’t talk about this now. The children will hear us.’
‘You didn’t talk about it at any time,’ he said roughly, his eyes dark and dangerous, his accent thicker than ever. ‘You just left, ripping all the important things in my life away from me.’
She winced at his description and forgot her resolutions not to argue with him. ‘I tried to talk to you but you were always at the hospital or out on a rescue!’
‘It’s my job, Christy.’
And he’d been avoiding the issue. ‘We never communicate any more, Alessandro. When did you last spend time with me?’
‘You were in my bed every single night.’ His arrogant declaration brought a flush of colour to her pale cheeks.
‘That was just sex,’ she muttered. ‘The only place we ever spent time together was in bed.’
Right from the first moment they’d met, they’d been unable to keep their hands off each other—to exercise anything even remotely resembling self-control.
Awareness throbbed between them and as she caught the passion and fire in his eyes, only partially concealed by thick, dark lashes. Painfully aware of his vibrant masculinity, she turned away, trying desperately to ignore the agony of need that flared inside her body.
It didn’t mean anything, she told herself miserably. Alessandro was a red-blooded Mediterranean man and sex had always been important to him. It didn’t mean that he loved her. Sex was not a way to solve problems.
But maybe it would be a start, she thought to herself.
If they shared a bed tonight, perhaps they’d feel closer and could start talking.
‘When did we last spend time together, Alessandro?’ she said in a choked voice. ‘Wasn’t I important? Do strangers in trouble matter more than your own wife?’
A muscle worked in his jaw and he let out a long breath, but before he could speak, the children came barrelling out of their bedrooms. ‘We’re going outside to play in the snow,’ Katy yelled, ponytail flying as she took the stairs two at a time with Ben close behind her.
‘Don’t forget your coats,’ Christy called after them, suddenly desperate for them to stay, to breathe life and fun into the place. She didn’t want to be on her own with Alessandro. Didn’t have the energy for the confrontation that was brewing.
Reading her mind, he took a step towards her. ‘So—I’m here now. If you want to talk, then talk.’ He looked remote and unapproachable and she felt everything sink inside her.
She knew that some of the nurses and junior doctors found Alessandro intimidating, but she’d only ever loved the fact that he had no tolerance for anything less than perfection. It was what made him such an excellent doctor. So why did she suddenly find him so formidable?
‘We can’t talk about this in five minutes with you due back at the hospital. It’s too important for that.’
‘If you’ve got something to say, say it.’ His mouth was grim as he moved towards her. ‘You’re trembling. Do I make you nervous, Christy?’
If he kissed her, she was lost.
She backed away and hated herself for it. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you don’t make me nervous.’
‘Feeling guilty about leaving?’ He kept on coming, his eyes locked on hers. ‘Conscience pricking you?’
‘I don’t have anything to feel guilty about.’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘You’re seeing everything from one side as usual, which is totally unreasonable.’
‘You talk to me about unreasonable when you were the one who walked out?’
There was a long silence while the atmosphere throbbed and hummed. His dark eyes slid down to her mouth and she thought she saw a sudden flare of hunger. But then it was gone and he bent to pick up her case.
‘You’re right. This isn’t the right time to talk about it. You’ve been gone for almost two months so waiting a few days longer for a cosy chat isn’t going to kill either of us. I’ll take this through to your room.’ His tone was flat, emotionless and she watched him as he walked.
Her room? What did he mean, ‘her room’?
Her knees still shaking, she followed him, her heart diving south as she saw that he’d put in her in the guest room. He stood for a moment, one dark eyebrow raised in challenge, and she bit her lip, hiding the pain.
So much for using sex as a problem-solver.
Was he expecting her to beg? Clearly he didn’t want her sleeping in the same room as him, the same bed as him, but she wasn’t going to let him know how much that hurt her. She had too much pride.
‘Great. This is excellent.’ She swept into the room as though the sleeping arrangements had been her choice. ‘We did this up nicely, didn’t we? I always liked the throw on the bed.’
His gaze was steady on her face. ‘You should be comfortable enough.’
Oh, no, she wouldn’t, she thought miserably. She wouldn’t sleep a wink, knowing that he was just down the corridor. Sleeping naked… Alessandro always slept naked and she felt a sudden rush of heat at the thought. She missed him so much. ‘I’ll be fine. This is perfect.’
Something flamed in his dark eyes and she wondered what she’d said to anger him. After all, he’d been the one to put her in the spare room. If anyone had a right to be angry, surely it should be her? But he’d drawn the battle lines and made his position clear.
He didn’t even want her in his bedroom. Didn’t want their relationship to be mended.
And why did that come as a surprise? If he’d wanted to mend it, he would have followed her to London and dragged her back.
Which was what she’d thought he’d do.
She felt tears prick her eyes but fortunately Katy chose that moment to race back into the room, her hair and brightly coloured jumper dusted with snow. ‘Oh, Mum, this is wicked.
There’s so much snow and—’ She broke off and glanced around her. ‘What are you doing in here?’
‘This is where I’m sleeping, sweetheart.’ Christy kept her tone bright, as if it were the most normal thing in the world for she and Alessandro to be sleeping apart, but Katy’s expression changed from happy to stubborn.
‘In the spare room?’
Christy suppressed a groan. Katy definitely saw too much. ‘Your father and I need some space,’ she said quietly, and Katy glowered at both of them.
‘This is Christmas. Goodwill and all that. If you argue, you’ll upset Ben.’
‘We’re not arguing,’ Christy said weakly, and Alessandro gave a disapproving frown.
‘Our sleeping arrangements are none of your business, Katherine.’ He spoke quietly, but there was a warning note in his voice that made Katy’s narrow shoulders tense.
‘No.’ Her expression was mutinous. ‘You’re not sleeping in here. I want you to sleep in the same bed, like everyone else’s parents.’
‘Sweetheart, plenty of your friends’ parents don’t sleep together. Look at Rosie’s mum and dad. They—’
‘That’s different. They’re divorced.’ Katy glared at her fiercely. ‘You and Dad are not getting divorced. That isn’t going to happen.’
Christy heard Alessandro drag in a long breath and bit her lip hard. Just hearing the word said aloud made her feel sick but at that moment all her thoughts were channelled towards alleviating her daughter’s distress.
‘Look, sweetheart, you’re too young to understand at the moment.’ She kept her tone modulated and reasonable. ‘But you have to leave this to Daddy and I. We’ll sort it out together in our own way.’
Katy put her hands on her hips and gave an innocent smile. ‘You think so?’ And she turned on her heel and left the room.
Alessandro swore softly in Spanish. ‘I will speak to her—’
‘No.’ Christy shook her head. ‘She’s upset. I’ll talk to her later, when she’s had time to calm down.’
‘And what are you going to tell her? That this was your choice? I need to get back to the hospital.’ He gave her a long, burning look loaded with accusation and then strode out of the room. Christy stared after him, feeling numb. It was clear that he blamed her for the entire situation and the knowledge that he’d absolved himself of all responsibility should have stoked her anger. Instead, it left her feeling exhausted. She’d known Alessandro angry, she’d known him passionate but she’d never known him cold before now.
There was no hope for them. None at all.
And it promised to be anything but a happy and peaceful Christmas.
CHAPTER TWO
ALESSANDRO drove too fast, eyes narrowed, hands gripping the steering-wheel of his sports car.
He’d put her in the spare room, expecting to get a reaction, expecting her to throw herself into his arms. She hadn’t even blinked.
Until she’d walked out three months earlier, they’d never even slept apart. Now she was behaving as though separate beds were an everyday occurrence.
Clearly it was what she wanted.
He parked in his space, still thinking about Christy, oblivious to the biting cold or the wail of approaching sirens.
She’d looked more beautiful than ever. She was the only woman he’d ever met who could appear so impossibly slender and yet still manage to have curves in all the right places. The gorgeous blue jumper had brought out the amazing colour of her eyes and her silky soft hair had tumbled past her shoulders like a blatant taunt. Had she done that on purpose? She knew how much he adored her hair. And then there were her legs, long, slim and tempting in those ridiculously high heels. She looked sexy and alluring and nothing like the way that a respectably married mother of two children was supposed to look.
Had she already taken another lover?
Discovering the meaning of insecurity for the first time in his life, Alessandro climbed out of the car, battling against a burning desire to put his fist through something. An ominous expression on his handsome face, he slammed his way through the doors that led from the ambulance bay into the department and almost crashed into his colleague.
‘What are you doing here? We weren’t expecting you back.’ Sean Nicholson, the senior consultant in the A and E department and the leader of the mountain rescue team, took a step back, eyebrows raised in question.
Alessandro dragged in a breath and bottled up his temper. ‘We’re short-staffed,’ he said tightly. ‘And this seems as good a place to be as any.’
Sean’s eyes narrowed. ‘That bad, eh?’
‘Don’t ask.’
‘Doesn’t do to run away from women,’ Sean drawled. ‘They catch up with you in the end.’
Only if they want to, Alessandro mused, his temper still stewing and simmering. Clearly Christy wanted no more to do with him. She’d moved out, come home only because she wanted the children to have a family Christmas, and she had no qualms about sleeping in the spare room.
Sean thrust a set on notes into his hand. ‘Well, I’m not sorry you’re here. This place is starting to resemble a war zone.’
A bit like home, then, Alessandro thought bitterly, walking through to a cubicle to see the patient that Sean had given him, but before he could open his mouth to speak, Sean caught his arm.
‘Alessandro?’ Sean’s eyes were suddenly intent and thoughtful. ‘I don’t suppose Christy wants to come back to work, does she? Just for the two weeks leading up to Christmas? We’ve got six nurses off sick at the moment. The numbers just aren’t adding up.’
‘Christy?’ Alessandro frowned. ‘She’s a practice nurse…’
Sean raised his eyebrows. ‘Only for the last few years,’ he said, his tone mild. ‘Before that she was an A and E nurse, and a damn good one. I know it’s a long shot, but…’ He caught the dubious look on Alessandro’s face and gave a shrug. ‘Give it some thought.’ He walked off and Alessandro stared after him.
It had been years since Christy had worked in A and E. She’d carried on working in the department part time after Katy’s birth, but once Ben had arrived she’d given up completely for a few years and then taken a part-time job in the local GP practice.
Why would Sean think she could fill the gap in A and E? She’d be out of her depth, out of touch, unable to cope with the pressure—it was a ridiculous suggestion. Christy was a mother now. The children were her priority. There was no way she’d be able to cope with the demands of A and E.
He dismissed the thought instantly and buried himself in work. He worked through a long and busy night without taking a break and eventually arrived home at five in the morning.
The house was in darkness as he showered and crawled into his cold, empty bed. Sleep should have swallowed him whole but instead he stayed on the edges of wakefulness, unable to find the rest he craved.
His mind was full of Christy, at that moment probably sleeping peacefully in their spare bedroom.
The thought of her warm, perfect body sent his tension levels soaring and he eventually gave up on sleep just as the weak, winter light was filtering through the curtains. Cursing softly, his body thrumming with frustration, he pulled on a pair of fleecy tracksuit bottoms and a sweatshirt and went out for a run.
The snow was crisp and fresh on the ground, unmarked, and his breath clouded the air as he pounded silently along the track that led from his house to the river. Today the boulders were tipped with snow and the water was ice cold and as clear as glass. He ran until the breath tore at his lungs and his muscles ached and eventually arrived home to find the children sprawled on the sofas, watching Christmas cartoons on television. Christy was in the kitchen, making pancakes.
She glanced up as he walked into the room and for a moment they just stared at each other. Then she cleared her throat and turned back to the frying-pan, jiggling it with one hand to stop the pancake burning.
‘Do you want some breakfast?’ She was wearing a pair of jeans that fitted her snugly and the same blue
jumper that he’d admired the day before. Her hair was loose, her cheeks were flushed and she looked pretty and far too young to be the mother of the two children watching television in the next room. Alessandro felt a vicious tug of lust that had him backing out of the room. It was just because he hadn’t seen her for two months, he told himself firmly. As soon as he got used to having her around, he’d be able to control himself. Until then, he needed to keep some distance.
‘No, thanks. No breakfast.’ His stomach was growling, the pancakes smelt delicious, but he couldn’t trust himself to be in the same room as her and not grab her. Later, he promised himself, when he had his feelings well and truly under control, they’d talk. ‘I need to get back to the hospital.’
‘Alessandro.’ Her voice was exasperated and she tilted her head to one side, her amazing, fiery hair sliding over her shoulder. ‘You didn’t come in until five and you were out running two hours after that. Even you need to rest some time!’
The only way she could possibly know the detail of his movements with such accuracy was if she hadn’t been able to sleep either.
Registering that fact, he studied her face, saw the colour seep into her cheeks as she realised just how much she’d betrayed. Felt a flash of satisfaction that she wasn’t as indifferent as she appeared to be. Maybe there was hope for them.
‘Just for a few hours this morning,’ he said huskily. ‘We’re ridiculously short-staffed. Everyone is off sick. I’ll be back after lunch.’ Suddenly he wished the children were at school so that he could just grab her and do what he wanted to do. He’d have her on the kitchen table in five seconds flat, naked in ten.
And he had a feeling that she wouldn’t resist.
When had either of them ever been able to hold back in the bedroom? Their mutual passion had always been a driving force in their marriage. It was how they’d solved most of their problems.
‘So short-staffed you’re not even allowed to sleep?’
‘There’s a flu bug going around,’ he muttered, dragging his eyes away from the smooth skin of her neck and trying to kill the erotic images dancing around his brain. ‘Half the nurses are off sick.’