by Sarah Morgan
‘Well, we’ve all known each other and been friends for the same length of time, so I suppose that’s natural.’ She helped herself to a spoonful of another dish and tried not to mind that Alessandro suddenly seemed tense and uncommunicative.
He didn’t enjoy her company any more, she thought miserably as she chewed her way through a mouthful of food that she didn’t even want. And he still hadn’t said anything about what she was wearing or made a single move in her direction.
It was so unlike him. In the past, whenever they’d had a problem, he’d just grabbed her and that had been that. Now he didn’t seem to want to touch her.
Was it because he didn’t find her attractive any more?
Or was it because he was seeing someone else?
* * *
Back in the barn, the DVD had just finished and Ben was changing into his pyjamas in front of the fire.
‘Uncle Jake, what’s mating?’
Jake choked on his whisky. ‘Well, I…’ He cleared his throat and vowed never to babysit again. ‘Ben, you’ve had seven years to ask that question. Why do you have to ask it now, while Mummy is out?’
‘Because Katy said it earlier,’ Ben said solemnly, wriggling his arms and head into his pyjama top. ‘She said that we have to get Mummy and Daddy back into the same bedroom so that they can mate. It’s why I broke the bed and spilled my drink.’
Jake gave up on the whisky. ‘You did what?’
‘I broke the bed,’ Ben said patiently, ‘by bouncing hard. Katy did it, too. So Mummy couldn’t sleep there any more. But it didn’t work.’
Jake put his glass down on the nearest table. ‘It didn’t?’
Ben shook his head. ‘Daddy went and slept on the sofa, so I spilt my blackcurrant on it.’
Jake’s gaze slid to the sofa on the far side of the room, now covered in towels. ‘So you did.’
‘Now Daddy has to sleep with Mummy in the bed,’ Ben said proudly, and Jake looked at him thoughtfully before shifting his gaze to Katy.
‘It appears that you’ve been rather busy, young lady.’
‘You can’t tell me off. You’re my godfather. You’re only responsible for my religious education.’
He lifted a brow. ‘No more presents, then.’
She grinned. ‘Presents are acceptable.’
‘I just bet they are.’ Jake studied her face and thought how much she resembled her father. ‘Have you been interfering?’
‘Maybe. Just a little.’ Her expression was wary, as if she was unsure of his response. ‘Never underestimate a child.’
‘I don’t,’ Jake said dryly, rising to his feet and reaching for his glass. He had a strong feeling he was going to need a large refill. ‘Let’s get your brother to bed and then you and I need to have a talk, Katherine Isabel Luisa Garcia. You have some serious explaining to do.’
CHAPTER FIVE
‘YOU look knackered.’ Nicky juggled an armful of dressings and frowned as Christy walked onto the unit. ‘Heavy night?’ She gave a saucy wink and Christy gave a wan smile.
What would Nicky say, she wondered, if she confessed that she’d spent the night lying next to Alessandro and he hadn’t laid a finger on her? Not only that, but he’d clearly had no trouble sleeping, whereas she’d lain there, tense and breathless, waiting for him to touch her. His steady, rhythmic breathing had done nothing for her ego or her hopes for the survival of their marriage.
Oh, damn, damn, damn.
He obviously didn’t even find her attractive any more. It was the only possible explanation for not touching her.
And just to bolster her insecurities still further, Katya chose that moment to stroll up to them. ‘Hi, there.’ Her voice was smoky and seductive and her blonde hair fell down her back in a perfect, smooth sheet. She wore a pale pink roll-neck jumper and a tight navy skirt that ended just above the knee, and could have walked straight out of the pages of a glossy magazine. ‘Have either of you seen Alessandro? He promised to spend some time talking me through some interesting X-rays.’
Christy gritted her teeth and swallowed hard. She wasn’t going to be jealous, she told herself. She wasn’t going to be paranoid or childish. So, the girl was beautiful. That didn’t mean anything…
‘Alessandro is with a head injury patient in Resus,’ Nicky said in a cool tone, ‘and I need you to tie your hair back in this department, please. It’s unhygienic worn loose.’
Katya frowned slightly and then shrugged. ‘No problem. I have some grips in my bag.’
‘Good.’ Nicky gave a brisk nod, very much the sister-in-charge. ‘I’d appreciate it if you’d use them.’
Katya strolled off and Nicky stared after her, still clutching the dressing packs to her chest. ‘I don’t like that girl. Where does she think she is? On a catwalk?’
‘She looks great.’ Christy said with a forced smile, and Nicky grinned.
‘Oh, yeah—and how great is she going to look when a drunk has vomited down her pink cashmere? Are you OK? You look pale.’
‘Just a bit tired.’
‘Look…’ Nicky put a hand on her arm, her gaze sympathetic, ‘I know things are rough for you and Alessandro at the moment, but I know you’ll work it out. The two of you were meant to be together.’
Were they?
She was starting to wonder.
‘There you are!’ Sean strode down the corridor towards them, interrupting them in mid-conversation. ‘Christy, the mountain rescue team have had a call about a man who has fallen some distance. Might have chest and head injuries. The details are a bit hazy but we’re trying to send an advance party of five out, with the rest of the team following.’
Christy stared at him blankly. ‘And?’ What did it have to do with her? She hadn’t been out with the MRT for several years.
‘We’re a bit thin on the ground in the team at the moment,’ Sean said wearily. ‘Everyone is either in bed with this flu bug or they’re snowed in or all sorts of other feeble excuses. Alessandro is going and I wondered if you’d join him in the advance party.’
‘Me?’ Christy’s voice was an astonished squeak and Sean gave her a keen look.
‘Why not you? You’re fit and you know these mountains. You were the best climber we had at one time.’
Christy licked her lips. ‘Yes, but I had the kids and—’
‘I wasn’t aware that childbirth affected your mountaineering abilities,’ Sean drawled, glancing round as Alessandro approached. ‘Garcia, just the man. I’m trying to persuade your wife to join you on this callout while I scrabble around and try and get some other people together.’
Alessandro’s brows met in a frown. ‘Christy?’
‘Why does everyone think it’s such a strange idea?’ Sean wondered aloud, and Alessandro’s mouth tightened.
‘Because the weather is foul and I don’t want her risking—’
‘I’ll go,’ Christy said immediately, turning to Nicky. ‘If that’s all right with you?’
Alessandro didn’t think she could do it, and she was determined to prove him wrong, just as she had by working in A and E. What was the matter with the man?
‘I’m used to it.’ Nicky gave a resigned smile. ‘I’ll just run the department on fresh air as usual.’
‘My walking boots are in the car but all my other gear is at home.’
‘You can use Ally’s gear,’ Sean was already walking towards the door. ‘You’re about the same size. My dear wife never gets round to removing it from my boot. Come on.’
* * *
As they walked towards the car Christy’s anger at Alessandro mingled with excitement. Ahead of them the fells loomed, covered in snow and ice and potentially lethal. Who had gone walking in this weather? she wondered. How had they got themselves into trouble?
‘You stick right by me,’ Alessandro growled as they slid into his car, and she turned and glared at him.
‘Why? In case I fall down a hole? For crying out loud, Alessandro, when I was twenty I could outclimb you any
day!’
It wasn’t strictly true and she saw by the lift of his eyebrow that he was aware of that fact, but he didn’t contradict her.
‘You’re not twenty any more.’
‘No, I’m thirty-two. Ancient.’ She stared at him in disbelief. ‘Is this what this is all about? You think I’m suddenly too old to do these things?’
‘It has nothing to do with age.’ Alessandro crunched the gears viciously. ‘You’re the mother of my children.’
‘And what? That means I should stay at home and knit?’ Her voice rose and she took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. ‘Giving birth to children doesn’t come with a personality transplant. Believe it or not, I’m still the same person I was twelve years ago when you first met me!’
‘You can’t just swan up a mountain when you haven’t been near one for years.’
‘That’s rubbish! I may not have been on the team, but I’ve done plenty of climbing and walking and I’m every bit as fit as you are!’
The atmosphere in the car was simmering with mounting tension and she looked away, so angry that she wanted to hit something. Or someone.
‘Fine.’ His voice was tight as he concentrated on keeping the car on the road in the lethal conditions. ‘Just no heroics.’
‘Heroics?’ She turned and glared at him as she tugged a hat onto her head. ‘Since when have I suffered from a hero complex?’
‘You always took risks when you were climbing.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘As you said yourself, you haven’t been with the team for a long time.’ Alessandro changed gear with a vicious thrust of his hand. ‘What you’ve forgotten could prove dangerous. I just don’t want your ego to get in the way. If you don’t know something, say so.’
‘What I know is that I’m not the one with the ego around here,’ she spat angrily, jamming her feet into her boots and yanking so hard at the laces that she almost snapped them. ‘There’s only room in this car for one ego and yours is taking up all the space!’
He had no confidence in her whatsoever, she thought, her temper building to dangerous levels. ‘I hadn’t been in A and E for years either,’ she pointed out angrily, ‘but so far I haven’t killed anyone! This used to be my life, Alessandro! This was what I did, but somewhere along the way I’ve lost it all. I’ve lost A and E, I’ve lost Mountain Rescue and now I’ve lost—’ She had been about to say ‘you’ but she stopped herself just in time. Instead, she clamped her teeth down on her bottom lip and blinked back the hot sting of tears.
His opinion of her was obviously at rock bottom, she thought miserably as she turned her head and stared out of the window while she struggled for control.
He slowed down to take an icy corner. ‘You make it sound as though your entire married life has been one big sacrifice.’
‘No.’ Confident that she was back in control again, she turned her head and studied his hard, handsome profile. She loved him so much. Despite everything, she completely adored him and always would. ‘That isn’t how it is. The children are everything. But there are parts of me that I put to one side while they were small and you can’t blame me for wanting them back now.’
Alessandro was silent, his strong hands gripping the steering-wheel. ‘I had no idea that you missed it so badly.’ His voice was a low growl and she swallowed hard, her anger dissolving to nothing, suddenly desperate to make him understand.
‘Wouldn’t you miss it? If you were the one who had to give it all up, wouldn’t you miss it?’
‘That’s different.’
‘How is it different, Alessandro? Because you’re a man and I’m a woman?’ Her temper boiled up again and she resisted the temptation to thump him hard. ‘Well, I’ve got news for you, my Neanderthal, chauvinistic male, it isn’t different at all! Which marriage rule book says that it’s the woman who has to make all the changes in her life?’
He inhaled sharply. ‘You knew when you married me that I wasn’t the sort of man who could stay at home and change nappies, but if you’d wanted a nanny you could have said so.’
‘I didn’t want a nanny! I wanted to be the one to raise our children.’ She was shouting now, shouting as she zipped up her jacket and reached for her gloves. ‘But I’m allowed to be honest about missing some bits of my old life. And I’m also allowed to see if I want some of those bits back now that the children are older. Is that really asking too much?’
Alessandro flicked the indicator and pulled into the car park at the mountain rescue base. Then he switched off the engine and sat staring into the freezing cold December day, his handsome face blank of expression. ‘No,’ he said finally. ‘It isn’t asking too much.’
‘When we first met, we were doing the same things,’ she said, suddenly desperate to say the things that had been building inside her for months. ‘We were on the same path. But somehow that’s all changed. You’ve gone on ahead and I’ve been left behind.’
He turned towards her. ‘Is that how you see it?’
‘No,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s just how it is.’
She wanted to ask where that left their relationship but he seemed so distant and icily remote that she didn’t know what to say and was relieved to see Jake and two other members of the MRT striding across the car park towards them.
‘Oh, great—there’s Jake.’ Grateful for a reason to escape from the chill inside the car, she opened the door and slid out.
* * *
Alessandro sat for a moment, simmering with mounting tension, the expression in his dark eyes approaching dangerous as he watched her greet Jake with a warm hug.
Had she always been so demonstrative with Jake?
Why had he never noticed how physical they were before now?
He knew that Jake found Christy attractive but never before this moment had he had reason to ask questions about where Christy’s affections lay because he’d always known that she adored him. He’d been utterly secure in their love.
From the first day they’d met, he’d taken her adoration and devotion for granted. They had been so crazy about each other, so hot for each other, that it had never entered his head that she would ever look at another man.
But something had obviously changed over the years and now it seemed that Jake knew things about Christy that he didn’t. Private, intimate things. Like the fact that she’d never really been happy as a practice nurse. And the fact that she missed bits of her old life.
Alessandro stared out of the window and his mouth tightened.
He should have known those things about his wife.
Why hadn’t she told him? Why had Jake been easier to talk to? Experiencing self-doubt for one of the few times in his adult life, Alessandro cursed softly and reached into the back seat for the rest of his gear.
He’d get this rescue out of the way and then he was going to sort this out.
He loved her. He loved her desperately and keeping his distance from her was turning him into a crazy man. But if she was in love with Jake then he’d give her the freedom she wanted. Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do with someone you loved? Set them free?
* * *
Christy lifted the pack onto her back, careful not to look at Alessandro.
He didn’t think that she could do this, but she was going to prove him wrong. Prove that she was more that just the mother of his children.
‘According to the call we had, he was one of four walkers taking a path just below the summit,’ Alessandro said as he assembled the advance party. ‘They called the police on a mobile and one of them had a global positioning instrument so we’ve got a good idea where they are.’
‘Weather’s looking unfriendly,’ Jake observed as he lifted his pack onto his back and settled it comfortably. ‘Might need to carry him off the hill if the helicopter can’t fly in this.’
Alessandro nodded. ‘That’s a distinct possibility. One of his group reported that he had breathing difficulties so we’re carrying an oxygen cylinder just
in case. All right, let’s go.’
He strode out in front and Christy walked behind him, hoping that she wasn’t going to fall down gasping for breath because that would be too humiliating for words. She was fit, she reminded herself. And she knew these mountains as well as she knew her own back garden. The fact that she hadn’t been part of a proper rescue for a few years really didn’t signify. Once it had been a huge part of her life. The regular training sessions, callouts, social events—she’d done it all and she’d loved every minute of it. And all that knowledge was still there, she reminded herself.
All the same, she was quite relieved to be sandwiched between Alessandro and Jake. Having someone in front and behind made it easier to resist the temptation to slow the pace.
They walked steadily for two hours in decreasing visibility and deteriorating weather conditions and then heard shouts from up ahead.
‘Bingo,’ Jake murmured, as they pushed on through the swirling snow and mist and finally saw torches and bright jackets on the path ahead.
By now Christy’s cheeks were stinging with cold and her eyelashes were wet and clumped together. But she loved being outdoors in the mountains. The wind had picked up, the weather was wild and unforgiving and it all seemed as far from the rain-washed streets of London as it was possible to be.
The injured man was sitting propped against a rock, covered in several coats. There was blood on his forehead and he had a hand on his chest, his face crumpled in pain. Hope lit his eyes as he saw them trudge towards him through the mist and snow.
Crouching next to him, offering moral support, was one of his fellow walkers, and he stood up as they arrived, his relief plainly visible on his tired features. ‘Boy, am I glad to see you! My first aid isn’t up to the challenge, I’m afraid. He fell about twenty feet,’ he told them, ‘and since then he’s had real trouble with his breathing. It’s really noisy. He was really struggling so I sat him up—I hope I did the right thing. I know you’re not supposed to move an injured person, but—’
‘You’ve done well,’ Christy assured him quickly, heaving her rucksack off her back.
Alessandro was already reaching for the oxygen, his movements as decisive as ever.