by Auden Dar
Why isn’t he driving?
Why aren’t we moving?
In the middle of a weekday afternoon, stuck in midtown traffic, for the first time in my life, I am having oral sex in public. Thank God for the torrential rain that protects us from peeping Toms.
It could be the man licking me and pounding me with his thick fingers. It could be the excitement of being in a cab. It could be the fact that a stranger only a few feet away from us is watching me, obviously waiting for me to come. In any case, I’m so aroused nothing is going to stop me from screaming.
“Ahhhhhh … Ahhhhh … Julian …” A strong violent orgasm surges through me. My legs shake. My heart beats ridiculously fast. Surprisingly, another orgasm sneaks up behind it, followed by a third. I feel his hand on my mouth as my body continues to tremble and my mouth refuses to shut up, uttering incoherent words. Oh. My. God. Julian is still devouring me even though I’m pretty much suffocating him with my thighs. When I open my hooded eyes, they meet the cabbie’s surprised and amused eyes, and somehow, now, I am mortified. I shut my eyes tightly.
No! No! No!
A stranger just watched me come.
My head, covered with a sheen of sweat, instantly falls back. Once I open my eyes again, reality hits me. Again. I was finger fucked and eaten in a cab. My girl is sore and swollen. Scratch marks from Julian’s stubble cover my thighs. And I am so thoroughly satisfied that I can’t stop grinning, even though a stranger just witnessed me having an orgasm. Julian’s shoulder now rubs against mine.
When did he get up from his kneeling position? Was I basking in the afterglow of my awesome orgasms for too long? I turn my body around to face the gorgeous man who has managed to make me eternally grateful for his wonderful skills. I smile inside when I notice my juices coating his handsome face. Absolutely hot. Taking a handkerchief from the front of his gray blazer, he wipes the remnants of my orgasm off his face before reaching down between my legs to clean me.
His relaxed demeanor chases the awkwardness away. He’s now sitting back with his gorgeous face turned my way. Gray-blue eyes that have turned green stare at me. I offer him a lazy smile and with a hoarse voice, I say, “I can’t believe we just did that.” He doesn’t offer anything for the rest of the trip. Instead, pleased with himself, he hums along with the radio.
I don’t know if I should feel excited or insulted that he assumes I would be going anywhere with him. But after that mind-blowing orgasm, who am I to complain? I will only bitch if he doesn’t make love to me. Pulling up to the front of Julian’s building, the cabbie turns around, licks his upper lips, and winks at me.
No doubt that “Slut” with a capital S is written on my forehead. Yup, I’m Julian’s slut.
Julian notices the cabbie’s flirtatious smirk and after handing him a Ben Franklin, he says with a serious tone, “She’s mine,” and closes the passenger door.
I am his.
Ten
The memory of what happens between getting out of the cab and entering his apartment escapes me. It’s as if we bypassed minutes just to get to the point of taking our clothes off. With Thirty Seconds to Mars’ “Hurricane” in the background, we begin to consume one another.
“Suck me,” Julian instructs and I can’t drop down on my knees fast enough. The hem of my skirt touches the floor. And although I just came a few minutes ago−several times, I might add−I’m still wound up. “Lina, look how fucking hard I am for you. Suck me … now,” he commands again, yet this time, his tone is more forceful and that makes me desperate to taste him. With quivering hands, I fumble with his zipper, and that’s when he takes my hand. “Baby, I’ve thought about your mouth on my cock all morning.”
I’m five seconds away from freaking out.
How do I explain to him that I’ve never sucked cock before?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My confidence wanes at the thought of all the women who have given him head in the past.
God, don’t let me suck at this.
Think, Lina, think.
Remember the last adult film you watched.
Slightly bending his knees, he reaches to cup my chin. Those seductive eyes of his bore into mine. “Relax, this is me.” His reassurance gives me the courage to lower his jeans and gray boxer briefs. Standing before me, with his t-shirt on and his jeans and briefs pooled around his ankles, his massive erection greets me. I look up at the heavens.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
And then I panic.
Take a deep breath. Just make sure you keep your teeth away from his cock.
As Julian’s most prized possession points directly ahead, I begin to stroke him with both hands. His length is so damn thick that my hands are only able to cover half of it. Steel and velvet is the only way to describe this magnificent manhood. I stare at it, moving my head from side to side, willing to commit this perfection to memory.
I. Can. Do. This.
I’ve watched enough porn to be able to do this. I want this. I want to feel him in my mouth. I want to taste him. Licking my lips, I prepare to worship him in all his glory.
Taking liberties with Julian’s length, I inhale his scent. He smells so good. With only a hint of body wash, he is also musky and unbelievably intoxicating. Tilting my head slightly, I deliver feather kisses up and down the side of his cock, lightly massaging his heavy balls with one hand while stroking his shaft with the other. Before taking him slowly into my mouth, I lick from his thick base to the tip, repeatedly teasing him. His plump head reveals pre-cum that not only surprises me but also excites me. Holding the base tightly, I swirl my tongue along his plump crown, circling around it like a warm, slightly salty lollipop. And once I’ve had a taste of his essence, which tastes so much better than I could have imagined, I continue to draw him in. It takes some time for my mouth to acclimate to his girth.
Good God, he’s thick.
Bobbing my head back and forth a few times, I use my saliva to ease him in. Once he is three-quarters in my mouth, it takes everything in me not to gag. The enormity of his long and thick rod almost chokes me. A small drop of a tear falls from my eyes. As I slowly continue to suck him harder, I peek up. Sexy ink blue eyes greet me, hooded and filled with so much desire. The image of him above me takes my breath away. Stroking my hair gently, he directs my head to move back and forth as my fingers dig deep into his hips. He watches in a stupor as his glistening member fucks my mouth. I pull away, focusing all my attention on his thick crown. Licking, teasing and sucking it because, right now, in this moment, I can’t imagine anything better than this.
His breathing slows down. “There. That’s it. Fuck, that’s perfect. Can you take some more?”
My eyes bulge at the thought of having more in my mouth. There’s no way I can fit all of him. I shake my head immediately, but then the image of one of the porn stars sucking Bruce Venture gives me confidence to continue as he feeds me his perfect length.
If a person can swallow a sword, I can surely fit all of Julian in my mouth.
“Fuck … my cock in your pretty mouth. ” I hear a thump and realize that while deep in ecstasy, his head actually hit a wall.
Staring up, I find it’s the pleasure on his face as he continues to groan that whets my appetite. I am dripping wet, and I have no underwear on. Should I stop and beg him to take me now? With his indecent utterances spurring me on, there’s no way I can stop.
I moan along with him, savoring every minute. I’m finally giving head! I feel fearless when I finally draw in his head, pushing past my lips and tongue, to the back of my throat. I hold him still for a few seconds as I glance up. Without any words, I know he’s about to fuck my mouth violently. I nod, reassuring him that I’m ready. In an instant, he slowly eases out before entering again. He drives in deeper, picking up his pace. He’s so deep in my throat that my nose hits his ripped abdomen. He fucks my mouth like a madman. And although my eyes continue to tear, there’s nothing that could stop me from continuing.
As his body begins to stiffen, I continue to suck him with more intensity, fondling his balls. With the pad of my thumb, I begin to stroke his perineum and that’s when he begs. “Swallow all of me.” There is no hesitation. There isn’t even an option. My eyes remain on him. I love to watch the power I have over this man as he unravels before me. With his length already deep in my mouth, I push forward while grabbing his ass so I can swallow every inch of him. His strong legs tremble as the warm liquid hits the back of my throat.
Eleven
Lying on Julian’s massive bed with a view of the Hudson River, I pinch myself. Next to me is the most difficult, complicated and passionate man I have ever known. How is it that I can continue to desire him more than ever before? I know I’m just a casual hookup for Julian and that knowledge doesn’t deter me from desiring him. And even though I need to confront him about leaving me with a fucking note, my traitorous body seems to have its own agenda. Just a few more orgasms and then I can give him a piece of my mind.
The duplex apartment has been our haven for more than forty hours. We spend all our time in his bed, only getting up to bathe and grab meals prepared by Miss Pendleton.
The memory of Miss Pendleton preparing her famous huevos rancheros appears. As she sang and danced along to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off,” (yup, she looooves Taylor along with 80s music), she revealed with a lightness in her voice. “Antonio is a chef I met in Mexico. This is his recipe.” Her sigh and the gleam in her eyes confirmed that the chef taught her more than how to make awesome huevos rancheros.
Once I sat on the stool in front of her, she was quick to mention my favorite subject.
“Lina, I told you to wait, did I not?” she muttered as she prepared her homemade tortilla.
“Yes.” I hesitated for a second before confessing, “I still don’t know where Julian and I are going. This is all new to me. I’ve only been in one relationship and that ended recently.”
“Is it over with Andrew?” she asked as she checked on her ranchero sauce.
“Yes, I wouldn’t be here if I thought we were still together. And Julian, he’s so complicated. Let’s not forget, he did leave me a few weeks ago.”
Miss Pendleton walked over to the stool where I sat. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she remarked, “Dear, he has never really left you.”
Her words confused me.
“Give him time. He’s never been in a relationship,” she pondered before revealing. “Julian is the only family I have. And I say this because I love him as if he were my own.” She paused again before looking directly into my eyes. “He’s bound to do stupid things but you know that. You are his love. You have always been his love.”
I smiled at the endearment but was unable to process it all. I am his love. Could that really be true? Caught up in my own thoughts, Julian walked in with his phone in his hand as he spoke through his headset. “Yes, I’m still in the city. Father’s recovery is going well. Allegra, you need to come back at some point.” He stopped mid-step. “It’s been years. You can’t continue to hide in LA and forget everything. And Giane’s not even in the country anymore. Yes, I’ll see about postponing for a few more weeks. Of course, I’ll let Lina know.”
A large grin formed as he walked toward me. “Good morning, darling. That was Allegra. She says hello.”
“How is she?” I asked, wondering if I’ll see her soon.
“She’s afflicted.”
“What?” His answer completely confused me.
“Allegra is brokenhearted. She refuses to return to New York because of a man,” he sighed. “Love,” he offered as he walked over to Miss Pendleton. I swooned at his mention of ‘Love’ and when he planted a kiss on her left cheek as well. Looking down at her with fondness, he revealed another panty-dropping grin. “It smells delicious.”
It seemed like old times. The three of us sat at the kitchen table, feasting on homemade huevos rancheros, fruit, and freshly baked bread. As we devoured our meal, we discussed the score I was working on and admitted that I had been stuck the past few days.
“I can’t remember the last time I struggled to compose. I can’t seem to find that motif,” I offered. Before reuniting with Julian again, I was able to fuel my anger and hurt toward the score, but now that I’ve been enthralled in mind-blowing sex, I’m unable to compose anything.
“Motif?” he asked.
“Yes, I need that musical motif that will help viewers follow the story. I haven’t been able to create the theme that will give me goose bumps.”
“Lina,” he said before taking my hand, “everything you do gives me goose bumps.”
“Julian, that was corny,” I teased and rolled my eyes at the same time.
“That’s the film adapted from Holland Kingley’s Disappear. Is that correct?” Miss Pendleton asked as she placed a new cup of coffee in front of me.
“Thank you. Yes, and Darling Films optioned the book.” I took a sip, enjoying the Italian roast while admiring the man who continued to take my breath away.
“Darling Films?” She cocked her head and peered at Julian as he buttered a piece of bread. He pursed his lips before shaking his head.
“Yes, this is my fourth film with them. I still can’t believe I’m scoring an adaptation to one of my favorite books along with one of the best female directors. It’s a dream job but−”
“But what?” Julian interrupted, unable to hide the concern in his voice.
“Besides the elusive motif, I haven’t been able to score a particular scene and it’s driving me crazy. Just creative block, I guess.”
He took my hand with his right, squeezing it. “Darling, just let go. Think about how the scene made you feel, and it will come to you. Your music is another character in the film.”
“But what if my musical character decided to fight the feel of the movie?”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “My brilliant woman, you know that wouldn’t happen.”
My brilliant woman.
This man had more faith in my musical abilities than I did.
Once the three of us finished our meal, Julian and I went back to the master bathroom to wash each other, only to make love again, with me straddling him as he sat on the shower bench. That was over six hours ago.
Now, in his bed, I lie awake, sore but completely content. The man who rocked my world reemerges from his home office, taking off his black-rimmed glasses that make him even more incredibly sexy. He rubs his tired eyes before suggesting, “Let’s go into the library.”
The main floor of the duplex apartment is enormous and houses his personal library. Surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows, it looks like anything but a regular library. Although there are dark leather-bound first editions on the walls, the room is airy and light. Like the rest of the home, the white walls allow all the artwork to shine. The built-in bookshelves are also painted white. Julian and I sit next to each other on the light gray U-shaped sofa designed by Helena Emerson. Clad in one of his vintage t–shirts only, I should feel uncomfortable, but nothing could be further from the truth. Julian is wearing a white cotton t-shirt along with his gray cotton sweatpants that fall on his hips, revealing the V muscles that I licked last night. His slightly tousled dark hair has grown a few inches. As I gaze at the magnificent creature before me, I’m reminded of the way he made intense, vigorous love to me three times last night and twice today. He has literally fucked me into next week.
Our hands are laced together and his thumb rubs circles inside the palm of my left hand. I’ve tucked my bare feet underneath my legs, and it takes everything in me not to pounce on him even though we’ve had crazy sex five times in less than twenty-four hours. Oh, yes, I have become a greedy, greedy, lascivious woman. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been sexually deprived for years.
“You feel it, too, don’t you?” Julian asks.
“Are you kidding me? My body is sore. Sore. I can barely walk.” I laugh, yet somehow, it’s true. Forget about walking side t
o side. He pounded me so hard this morning that I needed to lie down for several hours.
“No, I mean this,” he says as he points back and forth between us.
Us.
My ovaries are about to explode.
I nod instantly.
Continuing to hold my hand, he asks, “How long will you be in the city?” This is the first time Julian has inquired about my stay. With a fiancé no longer in the picture, I assumed I would be in New York indefinitely. It’s hard to believe I was engaged for almost six years, and the man I had planned to marry had basically pushed me out the door a few weeks ago. Moreover, he hasn’t contacted me since his good luck text. Sadly, I still think of Andrew daily and wonder how he’s doing. It’s not easy to forget someone who was an integral part of my life for sixteen years.
And because Julian and my work have occupied all my time, I haven’t thought about the West Coast. New York has always been my home. I have an apartment here, and my closest friends live here as well.
The insatiable man I’m crazy about is here, right next to me.
“I don’t have a set schedule, but if all goes well with the project, at least another month.” Why didn’t I just tell him the truth? Why didn’t I just tell him that I have no desire to go back to LA except to get my belongings?
He simply nods but doesn’t offer any input. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Julian takes both of my hands. His sparkling eyes search mine. Clearing his throat, he says, “I’d like to propose something.”
Lina, the last time he proposed something, you left his home with a broken heart, looking like a woman of the night.
“One month. One month where we’re completely exclusive.”
“What?” I ask.
“I want us to be more while we’re in the city.”
“More?”
“Yes, more.”
I pause briefly, searching for the right words. “Julian, I don’t know where I am with Andrew. He and I share a history.”