by Auden Dar
The phone on the nightstand vibrates, interrupting my thoughts. My maternal grandmother’s photo appears. “Good morning, Nana,” I whisper softly as to not stir Julian’s slumber.
“Evangelina, caro.” Dear. “Did I wake you up?” she asks so sweetly in her Portuguese accent.
“No, not at all. How are you?”
“I’m well, caro.” I just arrived in the city a few minutes ago. I apologize for the late notice but decided to make a stop in the city since you’re home. I have missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. Do you need me to pick you up at the airport?”
“No, caro. I’m at the apartment. Are you free to join me? I would love to see my only grandchild.”
“Yes, of course. I’ll be there shortly. Eu te amo.” I love you. After placing my phone back on the nightstand, I feel Julian’s strong hands lightly rubbing my back.
“Good morning. How do you feel?” he asks with a husky slightly hoarse voice. Small butterfly kisses replace his hands, and I slowly turn around. It never ceases to amaze me how gorgeous he is. As usual, his black hair is messy and his blue-gray eyes are transparent. His full lips are slightly wet and filled with such longing that all I can think of is kissing them. But I’m gross right now, and I need to brush my teeth.
He takes me by surprise, and suddenly, he is on top of me. He’s staring at me with lust in his eyes. How is it that this man can find me desirable? Especially in the morning without a trace of makeup and my hair tangled in a mess. I’m not exactly pretty right now since I had also been sick for the past few days. As he kisses my forehead, my nose, and both of my cheeks, I feel cherished. “I feel so much better. You’re the best medicine.”
Julian’s rock-hard erection hits my thigh. His smile is irresistible, and because it’s slightly turned up, it’s more of a confident smirk. “I have something that can make you feel much, much better.”
I bite the corner of my lower lip. Although I’m dying to have Julian inside me, especially with his massive length poking me, I am in desperate need of a shower. “How about a rain check? That was Nana on the phone. She’s in the city.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” I take in my dirty body. “And I need to take a quick shower before heading uptown to see her. It’s been almost five months since I’ve seen her.”
With his eyes roaming my face, he admits, “Darling, you gave me a scare a few days ago.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. That was stupid of me to drink so much. I’ll stay away from wine for a while. I feel a million times better.”
Running his forefinger up and down my arm, his eyes focus on me.
“What, Julian?” I ask, enjoying his touch.
Leaning forward, he presses his lips against mine, allowing the kiss to linger without opening my mouth. Smart man. He pulls back slightly, his fixed gaze on me. I’m surprised when he asks, “Does she know about us?”
“What do you mean?” I raise an eyebrow.
“It’s a simple question. Does your nana know about our relationship?”
His hands are now planted on both sides of my head. Rather than feast my eyes on this questioning man’s face, I focus my attention on his upper arm and notice the tattoo. It reads Darling and I can’t help myself from smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt.
How have I missed this?
“Julian, your tattoo,” I say, bewildered by the ink on his arm.
The gorgeous eyes I love enlarge. His stare scares me and excites me all at once. “What about my tattoo?”
“I’m just surprised. That’s all.” I turn my head away.
He tilts my jaw with his forefinger, forcing me to look directly at him. He ponders the surprised expression on my face for a few long seconds before leaning close to my ear. In a low tone that sets me on fire, he confesses, “Everything I do … I do because of you. Only you.”
My lips part, yet I’m unable to voice how much I love him. How much he brings me joy.
This man has ruined me for life.
He leans in closer, his chest now touching mine. He nibbles my earlobe before asking again, “So does your nana know?”
He slowly pulls away, his eyes searching, waiting for an answer. “No, Julian. I haven’t said anything to her. All she knows is that I left Andrew and nothing more.”
He plants another kiss. “Are you going to mention that we’ve been inseparable?” Then plants another kiss on my nose before lying next to me.
“I don’t know yet. You know how Nana gets.”
“Yes, I remember, but please enlighten me.”
I pause for what seems like minutes. We’re now side by side, his fingers interlaced with mine as he rests his head on my shoulder.
My grandmother is a liberal and carefree woman. At the tender age of seventeen, she left the confines of her sheltered life in Sao Paulo and enrolled at Wellesley. By the time she was twenty-five, she was an international lawyer working for a firm in midtown. She met my grandfather who was a struggling artist and married him a few days after their first date. When my grandfather passed away several years ago, Nana decided to spend her remaining years traveling and doing charity work in foreign countries. I see her a few times a year and without fail, her first question is, “Have you left Andrew yet?”
Both my grandparents adored Andrew. They just didn’t want their only grandchild married to him. They thought he and I were meant to be good friends but nothing more. Even after he proposed, my grandmother took me aside and voiced her opinion without hesitation. “I don’t know about you marrying him. I just don’t think he’s the one for you. He’s a good man, a hard worker, but something is lacking between the two of you. But if he makes you happy, then I’ll support your decision.”
I let out a sigh. “Julian, I just turned thirty. Thirty. I’m her only grandchild. The only family she has left. And although she wants me to be an independent woman, at the same time, she’s waiting for me to have a family. She might get the wrong idea if I mention our relationship.”
We both move at the same time, both lying on our sides, facing one another.
“And what exactly is our relationship?” he asks, taking a strand of my hair with his forefinger and twirling it. An image of when we were younger appears. It is one of him lying beside me on a beach blanket as he played with my tangled hair. The memory warms me.
Julian’s face is only inches away from mine, patiently waiting for my response.
Not breaking eye contact, I offer the only answer I can give. “We know what it is. I just don’t want to discuss this with Nana. Okay?”
He shakes his head. “That’s not what I wanted to hear but I’ll accept it for now. This should help.” He wets his lips before claiming mine. An earth-shattering, move the mountains, make me melt, my panties are going to drop kind of kiss. Andrew has never kissed me this passionately before. This intense kiss signifies my relationship with Julian.
I.
Am.
His.
Twenty-Nine
Nana is in front of the vanity when I arrive at her pied-a-terre.
“Evangelina, you look lovely,” she says while kissing both of my cheeks.
Nana is an elegant eighty-year-old woman who is usually mistaken for someone in her fifties. Her olive skin is flawless, and her silver hair is pulled back into a chic chignon. Her skin reveals a warm tan and even though she has traveled non-stop for the past few months on behalf of several charitable foundations, she looks well-rested. Elegantly dressed in one of her many vintage Chanel skirt suits, she walks to her tiny closet to retrieve her favorite pair of black and white pumps.
“I’m so happy you’re here.” I watch her stand in front of the mirror, assessing her appearance.
“I apologize for the late notice. I’m here for only a night, and of course, I needed to see my only grandchild. Let’s grab some lunch at Per Se. A gentleman friend of mine was kind enough to make reservations for us.”
Ah, my
Nana. She is something else. From the way her skin glows, her gentleman friend has been doing more than making reservations for her. She’s absolutely radiant.
We walk hand in hand down south toward Columbus Circle, chatting about her last adventure.
When we finally make our way to the main entrance of the Time Warner building, I can’t help but remember the last time I was here. It was my birthday celebration with Julian at Masa. The biggest smile forms on my face at the memory. It was also the first time Julian and I made love. Suddenly, images of the way he adored and worshipped every inch of my body that night flashes before me, and there’s no doubt that my cheeks redden.
“Evangelina, you’re turning red. Are you okay?” Nana asks, completely unaware of the salacious thoughts she just interrupted.
“Yes, I’m … I’m fine.”
Housed on the fourth floor of the Time Warner Building, I’m still grinning when I find myself in front of the midnight blue door. The pretty blond hostess leads us to the main dining room overlooking Central Park. The décor is chic and understated.
By the time we are seated and have ordered our drinks, Nana immediately cuts to the chase. “I was relieved to hear that you left Andrew. Life is too precious to waste on someone who you are not madly, and deeply passionate about. Every day with your grandfather was an adventure,” she sighs before confiding in me, “He was an attentive lover, loyal friend, and understood me better than anyone.” She takes a sip of her wine.
“What if I’m not meant to have that with Andrew?”
“I don’t understand. I thought you finally came to your senses and ended your engagement. As much as I like Andrew, please tell me that you two are just friends.”
“I left him a few months ago, but −”
“Evangelina,” she says my name in a stern voice. “Sometimes you have to walk away when it isn’t right.”
I take a sip of my bourbon before asking, “How do you know when?”
“When it’s not right? When was the last time you felt like you could live without Andrew as your fiancé?” Nana raises an eyebrow as she waits for me to be honest not only with her, but also with myself.
This morning as I imagined a life with Julian and only Julian.
As I wait for the right and honest response to her questions, Nana places her glass of Pinot Noir on the table before continuing her sermon, “No need to waste your life away on someone just because you share a history. I know you love Andrew, but you deserve more than what you had with him. Security, safety, that’s just a given when in a relationship. But you want more than that. We all do. We want to be in love.” Nana smiles at me tenderly before expressing, “I want to see my only grandchild in love.”
I can’t admit that I’ve fallen in love without revealing my fling with Julian. Instead, I admire the spectacular views of Central Park before perusing the menu. Nana respects my silence and doesn’t mention my former fiancé again. As she thinks out loud, deliberating between the chef’s tasting menu, the vegetarian menu, and the salon menu, I suddenly feel his eyes on me. My heart palpitates and when I peek up, approaching me is the man who I imagine spending my life with.
Take a deep breath, Lina.
I gulp down my glass of Pellegrino immediately to quench my thirst. Yet my mouth is still parched. The sight of Julian as he heads toward me has my heart fluttering. Clad in a dark navy suit, crisp white dress shirt, and his favorite black shoes, Julian is absolutely stunning. His black hair is slightly tousled, his gray-blue eyes are slightly lighter, his kissable lips form a smile so wide that his teeth are blinding. And although I try to focus on something else rather than the long-limbed devastatingly gorgeous man walking toward me, it’s evident I’m uncomfortable.
“Evangelina, what’s wrong?” Nana asks as she surveys the room.
And before I can answer, Julian is to my right, standing over me in amusement.
His mischievous eyes and that wicked grin of his are pure torture. How in the world did he know I would be here? Does he have a tracking device on my phone? He is my admirer after all. Julian has wormed his way to my lunch with Nana to charm her. Oh damn it, to possibly reveal our relationship.
Would that be so bad?
I cock my head to the left, and my heart does a back flip. “Julian, what a−”
Before I can finish my sentence, he completes it for me, “Surprise!” His smile meets his clear eyes that seem to sparkle at this moment.
He bends slightly, planting an unexpectedly sweet and delicious kiss on my quivering lips, and it doesn’t go unnoticed that I am blushing.
Making his way to my grandmother, he smiles. “Mrs. del Campo, you look lovely as ever.” He leans forward, kissing both of her cheeks.
Nana’s eyes have almost bulged out. It’s evident she’s completely surprised by how much Julian has changed over the years. He was, after all, a tiny Harry Potter-looking prepubescent teen with braces the last time she saw him.
“Julian …” Shamelessly, she’s checking him out from head to toe. “You were just a young boy the last time I saw you. You certainly have grown up.” She turns and faces me, no doubt waiting to see my expression. “Evangelina, did you know he was back in town?”
I offer a slight smile and nod.
Julian points to the chair next to mine. “May I?”
“Yes, please join us. We haven’t ordered yet. What would you like to drink?” Nana quickly beckons our attentive waiter.
My lover helps himself to my glass of bourbon. “Mmm, that’s good.” Glancing up at the waiter, he inquires, “By any chance, do you have Michter’s Single Barrel bourbon?”
The waiter’s eyes have opened up. “Yes, sir, we do. Ten year or twenty year, sir?”
When he turns my way, Julian drops a panty-dropping grin. “Darling, you’re going to love it. But not too much since you’re just getting over your cold.” With his eyes on mine, he places an order with the server. “Please get us a bottle of the twenty year. Thank you.”
God help me.
My beaming nana tilts her head slightly and mouths, “Darling? You were sick?”
How am I going to get through this lunch now?
Michter’s twenty year bourbon is in front of me. My glass is already empty. Umm, did I just gulp down the bourbon? I shake my head and watch Julian and Nana converse with such ease. He has her wrapped around his pinky. Her laughter is genuine. My nerves are at such an all-time high, I don’t even notice that our waiter is taking our order.
Andrew comes to mind as we all order the chef’s tasting menu. My former fiancé would hate this place. Being a vegan and all, he wouldn’t be able to eat anything in here. I shake my head, trying to focus on the moment. I pour another glass of Michter’s, and this time, I am savoring it.
This is sooo good.
Just like Julian, it is strong, decadent, and luxurious.
Licking my lips, I enjoy the taste of rich dark sugars. This is the best bourbon I have ever had. I close my eyes, appreciating the delicious brown liquid.
I’m suddenly startled when I hear my name. Huh?
“I’m surprised Lina hasn’t mentioned that we’ve reconnected after all these years. We’re practically joined at the hip.” Julian smirks as he places his hand on my thigh.
And although he’s doing nothing inappropriate, my mind wanders to that dirty place. The bourbon has given me a bit of courage, and I move slightly forward. Maybe his fingers will find their way up my…
“When she’s not working, she’s with me,” he says matter-of-factly.
Ahh, I see it now: the wide smile slowly forming on my nana’s mouth. She’s ecstatic at the thought of Julian and me.
He folds his large hand over mine. A gesture that doesn’t go unnoticed by my nana. Turning to face me, he looks at me with eyes full of mischief. “We’ve been enjoying one another.”
Suddenly, memories of Julian and me enjoying one another flash before my eyes.
On the couch.
On his kitchen
counter.
In his shower.
In the cab in broad daylight.
Stop, Lina, Stop.
The next few minutes go by. Julian and Nana continue to converse like long-lost friends, practically forgetting that I’m in their company. She mentions the charitable foundation she heads and her upcoming trip to Puerto Rico. He discusses his father’s health, and I feel guilty for not mentioning Marcel to Nana. She wraps her hand around his. “Your father is a strong man. He’ll be back to himself in no time.”
He nods before saying, “He’s recovering nicely and will be leaving for London with me.”
A sharp pain hits my heart. I gawk at the clock, a constant reminder of the short time I have left with him. Enjoy this time. Enjoy the moment. It’s going to end very soon. I take a deep breath, realizing I haven’t joined their conversation. When I’m about to speak, Julian’s phone buzzes, interrupting us. “Excuse me, ladies,” he says as he rises from his chair and walks out of the restaurant.
Nana giggles like a teenager. “I see you’ve been quite busy with your childhood friend. He’s certainly no longer a child. All these weeks, I worried because I thought you were lonely in the city. That’s the reason I’m here.” She raises her glass and winks. The waiter stops by and refills my glass with Michter’s. I shouldn’t drink anymore. I’ve already had two glasses. I look over, and I know my grandmother wants to know more, yet I remain quiet. Realizing I’m not about to reveal anything, Nana breaks the silence. “I shouldn’t have been surprised to see how handsome he is.” She winks again and forms a grin that seems endless. “Don’t you think?” she asks, knowing full well that I obviously agree with her.
I try not to gawk at Nana. Words need not be said. She knows, and I am embarrassed. The man we have both been admiring returns and instead of sitting down, he says, “Excuse me, ladies. I apologize but I need to attend to some unavoidable business.” He bends down and kisses Nana on both cheeks. “It was good to see you, Mrs. del Campo.”