Mr. Darcy's Promise

by Jeanna Ellsworth

  She laughed, “It was a road of opportunity! It was a way to make my mind and heart cooperate!”

  He grinned and pulled her head to his chest to hold her close. When he looked outside, he saw they were slowing and had pulled up to the inn. One more day and they would be back at Pemberley.

  “Oh, William?”

  “Yes?”

  “I love you too. More than I had ever hoped possible.”

  *****

  “What do you mean there are not two rooms?” Darcy bellowed at the innkeeper. Elizabeth put her hand on his arm and he looked at her beautiful face. He took a calming breath. He turned back to the innkeeper, “You must find a way. No one is leaving for the day? No one is traveling tonight? What if I gave you extra money?”

  “No sir, it is Sunday. No one travels on Sunday; well, except you, sir, I suppose. But I do not see a problem if it is just you and your wife. It is a large bed and sleeps two quite comfortably.” The innkeeper fidgeted. Mr. Darcy was a regular and he always tipped well. He never gave him any problems before now and he didn’t know why he was so upset at him.

  Elizabeth pulled William aside while addressing the innkeeper, “May I just have a word with my husband?” The innkeeper left the entryway and Elizabeth and Darcy were by themselves. She wasn’t quite sure why her husband was so irate. “William, it will be fine. Perhaps there is a chaise. And even if there is not, it is not like we have not slept in the same bed before. Do not get worked up over this. Save your strength for more important things. We are both weary and hungry.”

  Darcy knew that sharing a bed was in no way possible. What Elizabeth didn’t realize was when they did sleep in the same bed together he was passed out and totally unaware of it. There was no way he had enough strength to knowingly, willingly, be in the same bed as Elizabeth and get any sleep at all. The early morning moment he had with her in his arms was still fresh in his mind, and if he relived it, by choice this time, he knew he would not let her go and kiss her all night long. This was not some youthful brother-sister relationship. His feelings were far from platonic. He could not be that near her and keep his promise and although they had expressed their love for each other, he knew she still needed to express her desire to change the relationship in that manner. She had not done that. And he definitely did not want to have their first night be in the Rose and Crown Inn even if she did! There was no way he had the fortitude to sleep next to her. He doubted he could even be in the same room, and a chaise was certainly unacceptable! Tempting as it was, he had to hold his ground.

  His voice came out more like a whine, pained and pleading, “I cannot Elizabeth, I proved myself untrustworthy with requesting a room from Bingley. I cannot . . . I just cannot. I promised you that I would not . . . I want you to know I can be trustworthy again.”

  So it was back to that promise? That wretched promise made weeks ago? Elizabeth was furious! After that deeply moving speech in the carriage, he still was going to hold tight to that stupid promise! What troubled him so about lying next to her? They had done it before and it turned out fine— better than fine! In fact, she had thoroughly enjoyed it! She felt a wave of anger and hurt that he did not want to repeat it. She turned sharply away and under her breath said, “Yes, perhaps a little too trustworthy.”

  She turned back around, ready to use her newfound stubbornness to her advantage. “William, please, do this for me. I insist. There is no other option. You cannot sleep in the carriage; it has started to rain and is quite chilly. You cannot sleep in the barn with the horses. You cannot stay awake all night in the great room. You cannot buy your way into someone else’s bed when your wife insists you accompany her. I insist.” She lifted her chin and put her hands on her hips and looked him square in the eye.

  Darcy stared at her. He could fight with her but he had no other options. He had no real grounds for saying no–– except, of course–– those of his own lack of self-control. He had never felt so weak before. She was insisting that he share a room, an option he begged for in his dreams, an opportunity that he simply could not realize tonight. Not until she said so, and she hadn’t said so yet. He just stood there looking at her. What should he do? He dug down deep inside and evaluated his strength, but looking deep into her eyes was not helping him gather the fortitude required to do as she was suggesting. He looked away.

  Elizabeth saw that stubbornness was not working. She changed her methods. “Please, I beg of you. Stay. I need you. Please William . . .” She heard Darcy groan.

  Does she not realize how much I need her at that moment? They had finally expressed their love and it had only made his desires stronger. He had waited this long and she was asking what seemed to him to be the impossible. He turned to the entryway desk and rang the bell. He didn’t know how he was going to do it, but he would have to find the strength. The innkeeper returned. “We will take the room but we will require extra blankets and pillows.” Dear Lord! Am I doing the right thing here?

  “Certainly, Mr. Darcy. I will have them bring the trunks up right away. Let me show you to the room.”

  Darcy couldn’t look Elizabeth in her fine eyes. He couldn’t offer his arm and escort her. He couldn’t hold her hand. He could not watch her chocolate curls bounce as she walked. He couldn’t watch her thin waist sway with her legs’ movement and he most definitely could not kiss her. These were the ground rules that he would have to obey. He motioned for her to follow the innkeeper, and he followed her, looking right at the ground as he walked up the stairs. He kept a few feet behind trying to remember all the kings in order beginning from King Henry the V. Distraction was helpful. It might even help him get through the night.

  “Here it is, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy. Dinner will be ham and potatoes and will be served in half an hour.”

  Elizabeth looked at her husband who was silently staring at the floor. Was it so terrible to spend the night in the same room? He was obviously preoccupied in his mind so she addressed the innkeeper, “Can you bring dinner to the room?”

  “Yes, madam. Would you like tea or wine with dinner?”

  “Wine,” Elizabeth said.

  Darcy’s head shot up. “Tea! Definitely tea!” He did not need to have any alcohol in his system tonight, even if it was just wine. He saw Elizabeth’s confused face and immediately felt bad for contradicting her in front of the innkeeper. “Bring both,” he conceded. He may not want the wine, but Elizabeth did, and that would not affect his self-control. He had to be more careful or he would hurt Elizabeth’s feelings. The innkeeper closed the door behind him. He scanned the room, and noted that there was a small chaise with a tall back. Although in normal circumstances it would not look comfortable in the slightest, it appeared heavenly to his eyes. He had a place to sleep other than her bed. His legs suddenly felt weak.

  Elizabeth watched as her husband walked over to the small chaise and sat down and put his face in his hands. She took her reticule and walked to the mirror. She started unpinning her hair and brushing the curls out. It had been a long week. Was it really only a week ago that they kissed for the first time? Was it really only hours longer than that that she realized how much she loved him? She peered at his reflection in the mirror. He still had his head in his hands. She continued to brush her hair before she began to plait it.

  Don’t, Fitzwilliam. Just don’t watch her. He tried to convince himself not to watch her comb her hair, but hearing the brush run through the curls made his own toes curl in desire and his body began to grow warm. His fingers ached to run through them and his mind imagined doing just that. He decided that his imagination was not helpful at the moment and he would probably be better just seeing the simple act. He looked up as she was plaiting her hair. Her hands had pulled all her hair off to the side but he could see the ringlets on the other side of her neck, the ones that would not fit into the braid, the ones that were so charmingly feminine. He looked away. He added not watching her plait her hair as part of the ground rules. He lowered his head again to his hands. It seemed
like hours before she was done.

  Elizabeth stood up and sat next to him. She took his hand from his face in both of hers and kissed it. “William, please, look at me. I do not want this night to be like this. We love each other. Does it have to be like this? Can we at least enjoy each other’s company?”

  Darcy sighed. He was hurting her. If he could just have enough self-control to make it through the night! The knock on the door came as a welcome relief. He jumped up and several servants brought in their trunks. As they were leaving, dinner arrived, another welcome relief. A few more of those interruptions and it would be time to go to sleep. Then he groaned. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to that anyway. He allowed himself a moment to look at her. Her fine eyes were pleading with him, almost begging him to change his behavior. He did not want to hurt her. He had vowed just an hour ago that he would do anything to hear her laughter. She had given her heart to him and look at what he was doing with it! He was moping around, morose about being in her presence when that was truly all he wanted anyway! He would have to let himself interact with her, look at her, smell her, and not totally ignore her like he had been doing.

  “I am sorry, Elizabeth,” he apologized, “I am just overwhelmed. So much has happened and I am deeply worried about Wickham. If we get an early start, just after dawn, we should be at Pemberley just around the afternoon luncheon. Do you think we could leave that early?”

  She reached for his arm and led him to the small table the food was on. “Absolutely. I am anxious to see that Georgiana is safe as well.”

  He felt the warmth of her tiny hands on his arm and felt some relief. Why was going against his ground rules helping his anxiety? They talked all through dinner. The mood lightened as he asked what the chicks would look like by now.

  “Oh, they will not be the adorable fuzzy things you remember. Their feathers on their wings will be showing and there will be little spikes coming out of their heads. It is not a pretty sight.”

  “Lizzy will be ugly? I cannot believe such a thing!” he teased her.

  Her jaw popped open and she laughed, “I will have you know Fitz will be just as unattractive. Worse, I am afraid, because he is so clumsy.”

  “But Lizzy likes to roll around in the mud so I am sure she will look worse than the grand Fitz.” He knew they were not talking about the chicks. They were teasing each other again, and it helped him relax. This was the woman he loved. This was the laughter that was balm to his heart.

  “I am sure Fitz would not know how to find his own food, so he may be helpless and lost,” she teased back. His eyes smiled back at her and her heart flipped in her chest. She suddenly got serious. “William? I do not want you to sleep on the chaise. I want to wake up in your arms tomorrow and every morning thereafter.” She saw him stiffen but he continued to smile back at her. He reached for her hands and kissed them.

  “You do not know what you are asking me to do.”

  “I do, William. I know what I am asking.”

  “I do not want our actual honeymoon to be anywhere but Pemberley, and definitely not because we were forced to share a room. I do not want to push you or make you feel obligated.”

  “Then let us just sleep in each other’s arms tonight. I promise I will be good, you will be good, and we will both sleep comfortably. Please?”

  He had already had this conversation with himself. He could not do it. He pulled his hands away.

  Be direct. This man needs me to be direct. She took a deep breath and readied herself for her next comment. It took all her courage to do so. “You promised me not until I wished it. I wish it now, William. Please?” She learned that he was bound more by duty than by anything else, and she wasn’t about to let the moment to use it to her advantage slip by. She watched him take a deep breath and look at her. She raised her eyebrow in challenge. Would he back out of his promise now after she made her desires known so directly?

  He looked in her eyes and he was undone. How could he say no to something both his body and mind were begging for? How could he say no to those beautiful brown eyes? To that impertinent lip and eyebrow? He stood up and leaned over the table to kiss her on the lips. “I did promise you that, and I keep my promises.”

  She smiled widely at him and reached for his face to attempt to kiss him again, but he pulled away. “But you promised to kiss me anytime I want!”

  “One promise at a time, Elizabeth. Do not tempt me beyond what I can handle.”

  Chapter 13

  M

  r. Darcy could feel the warmth of the sun on his face. He turned his head away from the glaring light, but his body refused to move, relishing the sensation of Elizabeth still asleep in his arms. It slowly dawned on his sleepy mind that he had successfully made it through the night! He reviewed the events of last night in his mind as his body adjusted to waking. He had given her some time to get ready for bed after dinner; indeed, he had delayed his ascent up the stairs for as long as was possible. He had checked on the horses, informed the driver of their plans to leave at first light, arranged with the inn to have rolls and preserves available first thing in the morning for them and their driver, and taken a moment to draw in some cleansing breaths in the cool night air. The night would be difficult for him, he knew. It was a trial that he most definitely wanted to endure, but he wanted to remain in control as well. As he gazed out at the night, he noted the rain was letting up but still could tell the temperature had dropped. He hoped that Pemberley wasn’t this cold so that the chicks would be warm enough. He laughed at himself. Now he cared as much about the chickens as she did!

  It was time and he knew it. He headed up the stairs, saying a prayer with each step. His feet propelled him faster than was necessary, as if to show how much he anticipated holding her all night. He pulled at his cravat before he knocked. He heard her sweet voice tell him to come in. When he opened it, he saw that she was already in bed, her hair plaited, wearing her nightdress. He glanced over at the couch to see her dressing gown draped there. His hands continued tugging at the stubborn cravat.

  “I can step out if you need to get changed,” she offered.

  “I think I will just sleep in my shirt and breeches.” He needed his clothes on, and all he cared about at the moment was getting this ridiculous knot out of his cravat. He kept working on it without looking up at her, but knew that his frustration was apparent to Elizabeth.

  “Come here,” he heard her say after a moment. “I will help you.”

  He did not need her helping him take off his clothes. In fact, that would be the farthest thing from helpful. Just then the knot finally came loose and he pulled on the cravat, the fabric spiraling down into his hand. “I have it, thank you.” He slipped out of his frock coat and then his waistcoat, all the while stealing glances in her direction. She was watching him with a barely suppressed smile on her face. He sat down near her and leaned over to remove his boots before he heard her giggle and sat up to face her.

  “And why, may I ask are you giggling? No, never mind— I learned my lesson long ago to not ask why you are giggling. But since there is no mud nearby, I will make one request. Would you mind at least not laughing at me? I am sure I appear absurd, but am a little self-conscious at the moment.”

  She giggled again, but this time attempted to stifle it. “I cannot help finding our situation amusing. Here we are married for almost six weeks and I am just now watching my husband remove his clothes. We have had a strange marriage so far. I do not think I have heard of one like it.”

  “Nor have I. I do not think I would have exchanged it for any other, though. It has been an enjoyable journey; frustrating at times, but still enjoyable. There were so many times we shared that we could not have had if we were courting. Like that night that we candled the eggs for the first time. I nearly kissed you when the candle went out. I would have never been alone with you at night in a barn if we were courting.” He pulled off one boot before starting to work on the next one. Talking helped to soothe his nervousness. />
  “Or that time I nearly fainted in London and you carried me to my room? I almost died of embarrassment when Serafina started unlacing my boots in front of you. If we were courting we would have never been in a bedroom together and you would have never seen my feet.”

  He laughed, “Yes, you were determined to keep those feet hidden from me, and Serafina was quite determined to take your shoes off. It was quite a battle of wills. I especially enjoyed watching you get measured right before my eyes; another thing I would never have been party to if we had had a normal courtship.”

  “Yes, you were enjoying that so much I do not doubt you know my measurements by heart!” He turned around and saw her grinning.

  “I do,” he teased. Her jaw popped open.

  “William! I cannot believe you! Well, I enjoyed the unchaperoned walks and hikes that were like my own private tour of the Pemberley grounds. That is something that I would never be able to convince my sisters to do with me, since none of them are ‘great walkers’!”

  He laughed easily and took off his remaining boot. “Hmm, I agree. Showing you Pemberley was a highlight of mine as well. I have to admit seeing you each morning and saying goodnight to you each night was something I would not have given up either.”

  “Like tonight.”

  He smiled back at her, “Yes, like tonight.” He drew his stockings off and pulled back the covers. He moved as if by habit, giving little thought to what he was doing. Having them talk about their marriage had calmed him so much that it had become simply natural to crawl in bed next to her. “What has been your favorite moment so far?” He propped a pillow up behind him and raised his arm so she could lie next to him, resting her head against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his chest and shifted into a comfortable position.

  “My favorite moment? Kiss, or experience? What exactly are you asking?”

  He listened to the vibration of her voice resonate through his chest. “Tell me your favorite kiss first, then moment.”