I chuckled softly. “I was thinking the exact same thing earlier this week. I’m fairly certain my past self was a very awful person.”
Kay laughed. “Well, whatever the case, you can deal with her, I’m sure. Girls like them just need a reminder that the world doesn’t revolve around them.” He turned the stove off and placed in front of us the rest of our breakfast. Bacon and scrambled eggs and more pancakes, all enough to feed a small army. How were we ever to eat all that?
Evy let out a mocking gasp. “It doesn’t? How will they ever survive?”
Nate nudged me. “Evy has dealt with Macy before. She can give you a few pointers.”
I gave him what I hoped was a grateful smile, although I probably looked somewhat crazy, his closeness having me going a little hot. “That’s quite alright. I’ll just refer to the administration over the subject. I’m sure they can change the room arrangements somehow.”
“Like hell you will!” Evy shouted and my eyes opened wide. “You’re not getting out of that room just because her royal highness doesn’t like you. You let me deal with her and we’ll see who will be compromising.”
Nate chuckled and my lips twitched in a half-smile. “Don’t mind my sister. She’s always forward and a little bossy. You’ll get used to her.”
Alright. Several different questions immediately rose to what he’d said. Sister? Evy was his sister? And I would get used to her? As in, I would be spending enough time with her for that to happen? Which would also include spending time with Nate?
I chose to ask only the first question. “Sister?”
Kay chuckled, but it was Evy that answered. “Yeah. Nate and I are twins. Can’t you tell?” She stood beside him and they both looked at me.
I blinked several times. Apart from the same hair color and the fact that they were both stunning, I would never have guessed it. “Um, no, sorry. But then…” I looked at Kay whose shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. “How…? That is to say… Kay is…”
Evy burst out laughing. “We’re only half-serious. Nate isn’t my brother, at least not by blood. We’re just so alike in character that we’ve always called each other our twin. Plus, we have our birthday on the same day. That’s May 11th, by the way.” She said her last sentence with a pointed look before her eyes darted to an unaware Nate for a brief second. Then she quickly turned back to me. “When is yours?”
“August 30th,” I said before filling my mouth with a forkful of scrambled eggs.
“Stop with the interrogation, Evy,” Nate said, sending her a dark look before his lips split into a slow smirk. “Or I’ll tell her how you and Kay first met.”
She waved him off. “I was just saving that for later. But if you want, go ahead and say it. I’m sure you won’t remember it as well as me and I’ll have to say it again anyway.” Then she turned back to me. “So, you were going shopping? Can I come with you? I know all the right stores, and I haven’t had company when shopping for ages.” A small shadow passed behind her eyes, but she seemed to push it away.
“Sure.” I shrugged nonchalantly. “I wouldn’t want to put you out of your way, though.”
Kay laughed loudly. “Out of her way? When it comes to Evelyn and shopping it’s the only way, Alicia. She can never stop.”
Evy shoved at his arm. “Shut up. You’ll make the girl run from me.” She turned back to me. “Don’t mind him. He’s just jealous that you’ll be having me all on your own and he’ll be put aside.”
Her words made my eyes open wide. “Please, no. I don’t want to get time away from you being together. I can go on my own.”
Evy shoved at Kay again. “Now you’ve done it. Tell her.”
Kay shook his head in amusement and then looked straight into my eyes. “I was only joking, Alicia. Please, take her with you or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
I let out a reluctant laugh and nodded. “Alright then.”
We finished breakfast with Evy and Kay – well, mostly Evy – filling the silence. The girl was hilarious, open and loud with the best possible outcome. She made me feel at ease and I liked watching her tease Kay, and him teasing her back.
But I saw nothing of the similarity between her and Nate that had said was enough to call each other twins. He was silent most of the time, only cracking a smile or a small comment now and then, and sparing brief glances at me. I didn’t know if it was because of the way we’d woken up together, or it was just how he was. I was getting the feeling that I wasn’t seeing all of him.
When we were all done – the mystery of the masses of food solved when I saw how much the two brothers ate – I asked Nate if it would be okay to go into his room and change in order to go out to the shops with Evy. He nodded, a curious look passing over his face. I walked into his bedroom, but when I moved to shut the door behind me, I saw him standing there.
“Can we talk first?” he asked hesitantly.
I startled and nodded, moving further in the room and turning to watch him as he closed the door and came to stand in front of me.
“Ali…” he started. He raked his hand through his hair and looked away for a moment, before his eyes came back to focus on mine. “I’m so sorry about this morning.” He exhaled roughly. “I can’t believe I was… I’m so sorry.”
I flushed inwardly, thankful of the knowledge that my face remained looking cool. “Nate, it’s alright. You were asleep, had no actual control over what you were doing. I’m not angry or upset in any way.”
He exhaled in relief. “I know you’re not. I can see it, but I still feel like an asshole. I wasn’t drunk last night like Kay implied, just really eager to try and get some sleep, but I should have seen you. I wasn’t,” he tapped his index finger on his temple, “here. I was a little… messed up.”
I nodded, sitting on the edge of his bed. “I heard your brother saying something about you not using your bed much. Are you having trouble sleeping? You could get some medication and—”
“I know,” he sighed. “I don’t want to. It’s just that I’ve been through a lot lately and it’s catching up on me. I do sleep, but keep waking up during the night.” He slumped beside me on the bed and looked at the floor. “It’s just that my mind needs to process a few things. I’ll get over it eventually.”
I wanted to ask him if it was because of his ex that Julia and Wally had talked about. Was he still upset that she’d cheated on him? Was it really what had happened? Or was it something else entirely? But I knew it wasn’t my place, and if he wanted me to know, he would already have told me. So I just took the opportunity of his closeness and succumbed to the need I’d had all morning to touch him.
I placed my hand over his on the bed and held it there reassuringly. “It’s alright, Nate. There is nothing you need to apologize for. I’m sorry I brought you into this situation in the first place.”
He looked up at me and smiled, threading his fingers with mine. My heart kicked in my chest. “Forget about that. I’m actually glad Kay found you.” He frowned. “I can’t believe Julia locked you out.”
I shrugged. “It did give me the opportunity to be felt up by the same guy she was eye-molesting, right? Her loss,” I teased.
He chuckled then groaned, pulling his hand away and running them both down his face. “Oh, yeah, now you just have endless ammo to tease me with, but I guess you’ve earned it. I know you said you’re not upset, but I still can’t believe what I did.”
I felt like he was expecting me to say something else, but what? Did he want me to be upset? Or perhaps he wanted me to… do something about it? Talk through it maybe?
“Nate, you were asleep. And, if you just hold on to that part and forget the waking up part, it has to be a big deal that you actually slept well enough to be in, um, molesting mood.”
He laughed softly and turned his eyes back to me. His smile was warm and his eyes were sparkling with something. “That’s true. I can’t remember the last time I’d had a dream.” He sighed. “So, I’m forgiven?”
I nodded, giving him a smile of my own. I resisted the urge to tell him he could feel me up as much as he wanted, and instead stood and placed my hands on my hips. “Now, can you get out and let me get changed? Or are you going to sit there and watch me through it?”
His eyes flashed and a knickers-melting grin tugged at his lips. “That sounds interesting. But I think you’ve had enough of molesting for today, and I can’t promise I’ll be able to keep my hands away from you if you start undressing.”
I grinned back at him, feeling heat gathering on my face and between my thighs once more. He was flirting with me again. Which was a little confusing considering if he really wanted to do something with me, all he could have done was not stop what had started in the morning.
He stood and walked towards the door, but turned around just before he opened it. “A word of advice: Don’t let Evy get too carried away with all the shopping. You could find yourself coming back with a whole wardrobe of clothes you’re never going to wear. She gets a little shopping-crazy sometimes.”
I laughed lightly and shook my head at him. “Don’t worry. All my life I’ve had others deciding for me. Now I get to make my own choices.”
He looked confused for a moment, but then he grinned one last time before leaving me alone to change. I quickly glanced at his legs as he turned his back and noticed that the tattoo on his calf was the exact same design as the one Kay had on his forearm. So it probably meant something for both of them.
I went through the motions of changing shirts, with my mind still glued on the stunning boy that had been sleeping beside me during the night. I wanted to get to know him. Find out what kept him awake and what made him sleep. What he’d been dreaming about when he’d touched me. What his favorite color was and his favorite food. I wanted to know everything about him. And I didn’t want to do all that as his friend. I wanted to be more, because my heart and my stomach had never lurched around any of my other friends. My body had never reacted the way it had with him. I knew the chemistry between us was unprecedented to me, and I wanted to chase that, dissect it and understand it.
I just didn’t know if he wanted all that too.
Nate
Kay and Evy were still in the kitchen when I left Ali in my room to get changed. And the moment I laid eyes on them I knew what was coming at me.
“Don’t.” I held out my hands and made sure to keep my voice low. “I know what you’re both thinking and the answer is no. There is nothing going on between Ali and me, and there won’t be.”
Evy frowned. “That’s not how I saw it. That girl was drooling all over you. And that kiss you gave her before you went to shower? So sweet! You like her.”
I shook my head and stood in front of her to keep our tone down. “Of course I like her, just not the way you think. She’s cute and adorable and a great girl. And that’s all.”
“Then why were you so upset that she was in your bed?” Kay asked with a smug smile. “And why did you take so long in the shower?” He raised his eyebrows knowingly.
Motherfucker! “I was upset because she’s just a friend. If I wanted her to be more, I would have grabbed the opportunity. And I may have taken a little longer in the shower because I was angry and needed to cool off.”
Which was a lie. I’d taken quite some time in the shower because it had been cold in order to calm down my throbbing cock. And the fucker wouldn’t subside since the sensation of Ali under my fingers was too strong to forget.
I narrowed my eyes at Kay. “That’s why you did it, isn’t it? You brought her here, had her sleep in my bed in hopes I would just have sex with her, didn’t you?”
Kay shrugged. “It wasn’t my intention.” But then his smug smile returned. “But it would have been nice to see you let go again.”
I groaned, dragging my hands down my face. “Jesus, fuck, Kay. If I wanted to get laid you think I couldn’t do it on my own? You think I need your fucking help to hook up with someone?”
Evy sighed before Kay could answer. “Of course not, Nate. And I’m not saying what Kaylan did was right.” She shot him a dark look before she turned back to me. “But he’s got a point. You need to let go. It’s been almost a year and you’ve lost yourself. You need to start living your life again. It’s what—”
“Don’t say it, Evy,” I cut her off, a little sharper than I’d intended. “Don’t say it’s what she would have wanted, because it’s the stupidest thing anyone has ever thought of saying in such cases. It’s not about what she would want, but about what I want. And I want to do this on my own. When you two are trying to help, things end up… messy.”
Kay’s smug smile grew to epic proportions. “What did you do, Nate? How messy was it? Did you come all over her in your sleep?”
Evy groaned, her face turning green. I glared at Kay, just as I heard the door to my bedroom slide open. I took a step closer to him. “Fuck off, Kay. She’s my friend. Get that in your head before you mess things up. And don’t either of you say anything to her. I don’t want her feeling uncomfortable, or worse, convincing herself I have feelings that aren’t really there.”
I all but ran back to my room to get changed as well, giving Ali a lopsided smile. She smiled back at me, which only turned my smile full-pledged. She really was something else. She hadn’t said a word about the way I’d woken her up, instead teasing me over it to make me feel better.
A small part of me was disappointed that she hadn’t pushed, that she hadn’t seemed put out by my obvious dismissal. Because I’d been pretty obvious telling her that it was a mistake, and had I been fully awake I wouldn’t have done it. Her sweet and calm acceptance of my words showed me that her body’s reaction had been also sleep-induced, and she would have probably shoved me away had she been awake.
But I pushed that part away. I didn’t want to get romantically involved with anyone, at least not yet. My heart wasn’t ready, and I couldn’t even risk something casual in fear of it turning more serious. Beside the fact that I wasn’t looking for something, I would feel too guilty about it, like I would be betraying Kiara.
No, I wasn’t ready for anything of the romantic nature.
I changed into sweats and slipped my sneakers on, before going back out in the kitchen. Kay was leaning against the counter on his own, no sign of Ali or Evy.
I raised an eyebrow. “The girls left already?”
My brother nodded, but kept staring at me.
I sighed deeply. “What?” I asked warily, knowing I’d probably regret asking.
Kay shrugged. “I was just wondering if you meant what you said before, about not wanting anything with someone.” I looked at him dryly and he sighed. “You were. Fuck, Nate. You’re too young to believe you’ve lost all chance to find love again. Stop beating yourself up. Kiara is gone. I know I’m the last person who should be lecturing you over acceptance, but I’m also the only one who gets you.”
“No, Kay. You don’t get me. Because you didn’t lose her. Evy is still here.”
Kay’s eyes dimmed with sadness. “Fuck, man. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there on time. I’ll never for—”
“Shut up, man,” I cut him off, anger simmering inside me, and I shoved at his chest. “You don’t get to blame yourself and tell me I can’t blame myself. We’re either both to blame or none of us is. Are you telling me all this time you’ve been lecturing me about it, you’ve been lying?”
He shook his head and then dropped it backwards. “No, Nate. You’re right. We’re not to blame. Garth was, and the fucker is rotting in Hell as we speak.” He stood straight and came forward, putting his hands on my shoulders and squeezing a little too hard for it to be comfortable. “But fuck you, Nate. Live your life because you never know what comes next. Just take what Lady Luck throws at your feet. Because if you don’t, you’ll never know whether at some point you dismissed the love that would have turned your whole world upside-down. Trust me. I know.”
Chapter 5
Alicia
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nbsp; “What’s your favorite color?” Evy asked, holding up several tank tops of different colors.
I scrunched up my nose. The colors in her hands were a little too intense for me. Yellow, orange, red and hot-pink. “Um, I’m used in wearing neutral colors. You know, cream, khaki, maybe a little brown and olive green?”
Evy huffed and turned back to the rack, grabbing even more colors, none of them even close to what I’d just mentioned. “I wasn’t asking what you’re used in wearing, Alicia. This isn’t London. It’s California and you have to wear actual color if you want to blend in. London is rainy and gloomy, so you can wear dull colors. Los Angeles is sunny and glamorous, which calls for – guess what?” She turned around with a bright green top in her hands. “Color!” she exclaimed. Then she scrunched up her nose as well. “Besides, you’re blond with pale skin. Brown would just make you look like a nun who threw up a night’s worth of booze.”
I grimaced because she was right. Brown didn’t suit me, at all.
She pinned me with a thoughtful look. “Have you always preferred dressing so conservatively? Or is it something you were told to do?” She blushed slightly. “I don’t mean to pry, but Kay said last night you told him you’d had a fight with your mother. And I thought maybe she’s a little… um… intense?”
I smiled bitterly, because she’d found a really polite way to describe Mother. “I believe you’re actually spot on about that.” I turned back to the rack of clothes to hide my embarrassment as I spoke. “Mother had always been pushing me to dress in ways that would make me appear older. She said that an heiress has to look sophisticated, and too much color makes women look like teenagers, not as someone who would be able to be in charge of the great family business I’m supposed to inherit when I turn twenty-five.
”You see, my father held the majority of ownership for Dover Co., the greatest jewelry franchise name in all of Europe, and I’m their only child. And I’m supposed to take it over from her after my twenty-fifth birthday. For that, she’d always tried to teach me how to dress accordingly, considering that one day I would be in charge of all that. She never thought to ask me what I wanted.” I added that last sentence in an almost whispered voice.
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