The next thing I knew powerful arms surrounded me, drawing me against that solid chest. I sobbed into his t-shirt, not caring anymore, because in his arms I felt loved and accepted, and all the things I hadn’t felt in that hospital room.
I felt his hand come to rest on my head, stroking gently.
He didn’t say anything. He just let me cry.
*
“Feel better?”
Using the straw, I finished off my glass of Coca-Cola with a loud slurp.
Dave’s mouth curved.
“Getting there,” I said.
“I’d better remember that.”
“Remember what?”
He nodded at the empty glass.
I gave him a small smile. It was the first time I’d been able to since we’d arrived in Taree. “Forget drugs. It’s my headache cure and everything else cure.”
“Noted.”
My smile faded as I studied him in the dwindling light. He held my gaze and the rowdy buzz of conversation in the beer garden grew fainter.
“What is it, green eyes?”
I blinked and felt my cheeks grow hot. I looked down at my lap and after taking a deep breath I met his eyes again. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“You know what.”
He sort of shrugged and frowned at the same time. “Forget it.”
“No.”
He grinned and it jolted my system to life. It cut through the numbness and the hovering state of despair that had loomed large since visiting my father.
“What do you want to do?” he asked.
I looked around us. “This place might be alright for a quiet afternoon drink but if I recall it doesn’t have the best track record once the night crowd roll in.”
He nodded and stood, holding out his hand. I hid a little secret smile at the sight of his outstretched arm and threaded my fingers through his.
“Any ideas on where to stay?” Dave asked as we went indoors and wove our way through the tables inside the bar area.
We planned to stay the night in a motel before heading back to Sydney because I wanted to see Heath when he arrived. “Not really,” I replied. “It’s been over ten years since I’ve been back, and when I lived here I never needed to stay anywhere. I guess we can drive around and—”
I stopped when Dave squeezed my hand tightly. It was a warning, not a show of endearment.
He was staring past me toward the bar area and I followed the direction of his gaze.
I flinched. Stupid, I’d been so stupid. I shouldn’t have come here. When we’d driven around town after the hospital visit in search of somewhere to pick up a drink and gather our thoughts, everything had been closed. It was late Sunday afternoon and it was a small town. We’d passed the old hotel and I’d recalled there’d been a pleasant beer garden out the back. I hadn’t even considered I might see someone I knew. Let alone someone I was related to. Naively I’d thought being gone over a decade gave me some protection. I’d changed, wasn’t that protection enough?
As I met the eyes of my brother Blake, I fought the urge to cower like I had when I was sixteen.
“Bloody hell. It is you.”
I didn’t say anything, just watched him stride toward us. I flinched as he drew closer. The years had hardened him. When we were kids he had a slick, dangerous gloss about him. Now he looked more like Dad. His face was heavily lined for his age but his dark hair was yet to turn gray. Dark circles made his small brown eyes appear sunken. There was nothing slick about him now, just an angry sullenness.
He stopped a few feet from us and leered, his eyes glinting gleefully in the dimly lit pub. “Jesus, look at you. City slicker. Fuck me. I almost didn’t recognize you.” He nodded at Dave. “Who’s this?”
I turned to Dave. I took comfort in the complete calm of his expression and the firm grip of his hand. “Dave,” I said, the numbness creeping back into my fingers and toes, “this is my brother, Blake.”
Dave nodded and extended a hand.
Blake smirked and shook it briefly. “Been to see the old man?” he asked, interest written in the lines of his face.
I nodded.
He hooted with laughter. “He would have fucking loved that! You’ve got some nerve, Caty. Lucky he didn’t keel over and die when he saw you.”
I was already pale but I must have paled further. I hadn’t even considered that.
Blake waved a dismissive hand at me. “You’d be doing us a favor. The old bastard is stronger than he looks.”
I finally found my voice. “We’ll see you later, Blake.” I tugged on Dave’s hand and we started moving toward the exit.
“Not so fast, little sis,” Blake called out. “The reunion isn’t over yet. There’s someone else you need to say hi to.”
I ignored him and kept walking. As far as I was concerned he could shove whatever sick, twisted joke he was about to pull. I’d come here to see Dad, and that was all.
“Hi, Caty.”
I froze at the sound of his voice. It was the voice of my nightmares.
I know you want to, Caty. I know you do. You just need to loosen up a bit.
He was waiting by the door. I’d been so focused on making my way outside I hadn’t seen him standing in the shadows. He stepped out into the light and I sucked in my breath.
Reece Waters. If he looked different, I didn’t notice. I didn’t see the fair hair turned darker with time, or the way it receded from his forehead. The angular nose which had been in one fight too many, or the gray pallor to his skin. All I saw were the cruel eyes, exactly the way I remembered. Cold, blue eyes.
“Never thought you’d come back.”
“I’m not back.” I fought hard to control the waver in my voice.
“Still running scared, huh?”
“No, I just got out of this shithole.”
I heard Blake hoot with laughter again from behind us. “You’ve grown some balls!”
“Someone had to.” Somehow I managed to pull on Dave’s hand despite the fact my entire body was trembling. “Come on.”
Reece stepped in front of the door. “Finally found someone worthy, hey Caty?”
“Move.” Dave’s command was quiet but there was no mistaking the direct tone.
Reece’s eyebrows rose. “Or you’ll what?”
Dave shook his head but in his eyes I saw the warning, the glimpse of the tiger about to attack. “Just move.”
Reece tilted his head and considered us, like he had all the time in the world. “Is she a good fuck?”
By the time I realized it was my voice shrieking in anger, my knee was already in his groin. “Fuck you! You piece of shit! I should have called the police. I should have had you locked away!” The accusations spewed out of me in an angry torrent of words and I was oblivious to the tears streaming down my face. “How many were there?” I demanded. “Was it only me, or was I just the start?”
Reece didn’t respond because he was doubled over but I felt Dave stiffen beside me.
I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. “Let’s go.” He didn’t move when I reached out and pulled on his hand. “Please.”
After a beat, he obliged. We were halfway out the door when I heard Reece’s harsh whisper.
“Prick tease.”
Dave dropped my hand and by the time I turned around he had Reece pinned to the wall. Reece’s eyes bulged in shock at the hand around his neck.
“Give me a reason why I shouldn’t beat the shit out of you,” Dave growled.
Reece didn’t answer because he was too busy trying to get air into his lungs. Dave had Reece’s arm pressed against the wall but he swung desperately at Dave with his free hand.
“Dave!” I yelled, but he was already moving.
Dave released Reece and buried his fist into his stomach. It made me realize he’d held back when he’d hit James the day before. The force of the punch sent Reece sprawling onto the floor. He immediately curled into the fetal position, coughing violently.
<
br /> The sound of Reece’s desperate attempts to suck air into his lungs and his angry moans followed us out the door.
Chapter 31
I wasn’t sure how long it took me to realize we were on the Pacific Highway and heading back to Sydney.
It was dark in the ute when I finally blinked and looked around me. I stared at the blanket covering my knees.
“You were going into shock. I texted your brother like you asked.”
I nodded absently and focused out the window. Fields of darkness surrounded us and the only light was from oncoming traffic. I squinted at the headlights of a truck going the other way. It filled my vision until the bright light felt as though it was piercing a hole in me. I inhaled a shaky breath after the truck passed us.
“Cate?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t want to make this harder for you than it already is, but can I ask one question?”
I nodded.
“Did he …?”
“No,” I said firmly. “He didn’t. But he tried to.”
Dave gripped the steering wheel tighter. In the darkness of the ute’s cabin I could see his knuckles going white.
“I was sixteen. Reece had a thing for me. The panic attack I had in your car was triggered by a memory. He used to pick me up from school in his ute and his driving was a little wild.”
Dave swore.
“Kind of why I’ve never been fond of utes,” I explained. “It was innocent at first. Or not innocent, just acceptable. He was my brother’s best mate and I should have been able to trust him.”
“Cate,” Dave interrupted. “You don’t have to say anymore.”
“It’s OK. One afternoon he tried something when he was giving me a lift home. I pushed him away and managed to get out of the car. After that, I actively avoided him. I never mentioned it to anyone else.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged. As an adult I had more confidence, but I’d been a shy, verbally abused sixteen-year-old. “Blake would have made fun of me and sided with Reece anyway. My sisters were already sexually active so they would have laughed at me. Heath was the only one I could tell but he’d already moved out and was renting a house a few streets away with some mates. Besides, at the time I felt dirty and ashamed. For a long time I believed it was my fault because I’d led him on somehow.”
“I should have beat the fucker up until he couldn’t move,” Dave said in a low voice.
“It wouldn’t have made any difference,” I said lightly. “Heath’s already done that and he hasn’t changed.”
“I thought you said you didn’t tell Heath?”
I looked out the window. The fields seemed so bare and I longed for the bright lights of the city. “I didn’t.” I turned back to study his profile. I ached to reach out and touch the strong line of his jaw, but I wasn’t finished yet. “About six months later I came home one day after school to find the house empty. Reece was waiting in my room for me.”
Dave swore and met my eyes quickly before returning them to the road.
“He locked me in.”
“Fucking hell, Cate, I thought you said—”
“He didn’t,” I interrupted. “Heath came to my rescue. He was dropping by to see Dad. He heard me screaming and broke down the door. I thought he was going to kill Reece. I had to pull him off.”
“He should have killed him.”
“Maybe, but I didn’t want Heath to end up with assault charges. That was the day I moved out. Heath made me grab my things and I moved in with him. For the next year and a half, I lived with him until I graduated from high school.” A small smile touched my lips. “He was waiting for me after school every single day after that. At the time I was grateful for his overprotectiveness.”
Dave exhaled slowly.
“Dad never knew the reason I moved out. Blake was the only one who knew apart from Heath.”
“What? How did Blake know?”
“Blake was home that day. He let Reece into the house. They planned it.”
I saw Dave swallow. I couldn’t tell if he was swallowing his disgust at my screwed up family, or trying not to swear again. Probably both.
“I learned later that Heath had to knock Blake out before he could get to my bedroom. He’d been waiting outside while …”
“Enough.”
I nodded. “You’re right. I’m OK, Dave.” I reached over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Really.”
“I don’t believe you.”
I gave him an incredulous look. “Yes, I am.”
“You’re not OK,” he said gruffly.
“I had years of therapy, I’ve built a life for myself—”
He let go of the steering wheel and squeezed my hand. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, I think you’re amazing.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t believe me? You kicked his fucking balls today, Cate, do you remember that?”
I closed my eyes. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”
“You did. You’re amazing.”
I smiled to myself. I didn’t feel amazing, but having Dave think so counted for a lot.
“Hey,” he said. I looked over at him and he gave me a cheeky grin. “I kind of liked your potty mouth today, little Miss Pleasant.”
An unexpected bubble of laughter escaped my lips. It felt good.
*
It was late by the time we made it back to Sydney. When Dave took the exit off the freeway I turned to face him.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“My place. You shouldn’t be alone tonight.”
“Dave, I—”
“Humor me. I don’t care where you sleep. You can take any one of the guest bedrooms if you want.”
“OK.” The truth was I was tired – no, exhausted – and his place was closer anyway.
After he parked the ute in the garage, he carried our bags to the back door of the house.
“I’ll run you a bath,” he said as he unlocked the door.
I just looked at him.
His mouth twisted into a wry grin. “Don’t tempt me, but I’ll keep my distance tonight.”
“You don’t have to.” My voiced sounded fragile in the quiet of his backyard.
Without saying anything, he reached over and held my shoulders, then gently planted a kiss on my forehead. “As much as I want to, Cate, I don’t want it to be about getting over bad memories. You deserve new, happier ones when you’re ready.”
I stared at him for a long moment in the moonlight, then blinked away unshed tears.
“Besides,” he added, “I saw the way you ogled my bath tub last time you were here. You almost made me feel inadequate.”
I smiled to myself and followed him into the house.
*
“Hey.”
I blinked, letting my eyes adjust to the sunlight. Then stiffened when I realized where I was. In Dave’s bed.
His smile was slow and sexy as he watched me.
Maddeningly, I could feel my cheeks turn pink. I frowned, trying to dispel the fog surrounding my brain. “I don’t get it,” I said. “Why don’t I remember?” My eyes widened in alarm. “Surely I’d remember!”
Dave threw back his head and laughed. The sunlight made his eyes look more golden than usual. When he’d recovered, he reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I definitely hope you’d remember, Cate, but don’t worry. You fell asleep on the sofa downstairs after I made you a hot chocolate and I carried you up here.”
“Oh. That’s right.” It was the bath’s fault. I’d lain so long in its swimming pool-like proportions by the time I got out I was already half-asleep. I gave him a suspicious look. “So why’d you bring me in here? Didn’t you say you’d put me in one of the guest bedrooms?”
He shrugged, which was when I realized he wasn’t wearing a t-shirt. I reddened. Again. My eyes lingered on the black flames fanning out across his shoulder. They disappeared below the sheet and for all I knew he wasn’t
wearing anything below the waist either …
“I could say I didn’t want to dirty the sheets, but I’d be lying,” he said. “I wanted you beside me.”
I didn’t reply and kept staring at his chest because I was glad I was beside him too, even if I was too shy to say so.
“I forgot to compliment you on your pajamas last night by the way,” he added.
Oh, that blush just wasn’t going away, was it? I swallowed and looked down at myself self-consciously. “I happen to like Snoopy. And if grown ups aren’t supposed to wear them, then why do they sell them?”
“They sell them because they make women like you look cute.”
“I don’t have a problem with cute,” I said a little defensively.
“Neither do I.”
Oh wow. I could feel the heat radiating from his eyes like embers.
“Do you want me to make breakfast?” he asked casually.
“No,” I squeaked. Nice one, Cate. Way to go with the whole confident, sexy woman vibe, but that had obviously been lost the minute I put on my pajamas.
“Good.”
In one swift motion he reached over and pulled me on top of him, and I sort of sighed and shuddered at the same time.
Oh boy. Breakfast was certainly the last thing on his mind.
“You’re wearing boxers,” I said, rather unhelpfully.
“We’ll deal with them in a minute, but you make a good point.”
Before I had the chance to say anything he pushed me gently to a sitting position, then yanked my oversized t-shirt over my head. I placed my hands on his chest and stared down at him in shock, my heart racing.
“That’s better. God, you’re so beautiful.” His eyes roamed over my naked chest, down across my stomach, and then I could feel him suck in a breath beneath me. “You’re not wearing underwear.”
I gave him a playful grin. “No, I generally don’t to bed.”
“That’s good news. Very good news.”
He tugged me down on top of him again and took my mouth with his. I relaxed into the kiss, relishing the feel of my breasts brushing against his chest, the hardness of his hips beneath me and his need pushing against me. He captured a breast with his hand and I arched up underneath his touch.
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