by Kara Griffin
“Laird sent someone to Laird Ross’ to replace some of them. Should be back later today. We’ll have containers ready to put on the table.”
“Gell, I know usually the herbs are placed on the table, but what would you say if I told you food tasted better if you put the herbs in whilst the food cooks?”
“I’d say we can try it. I cut off a goose’s head this morn. Got the lads picking ‘es feathers off out back. Be making goose and fish for supper. Have ye ever made candied bread?”
“Aye, sweet bread, my recipe is quite good.”
As Bree helped Gell prepare the morning fare, she became cheerful and much more relaxed. Soon, she and Gell had a hearty meal sent to the hall and he told her to come back near the midday mealtime. He’d have lots for her to do. She and Sunny left the kitchens. Bree had a spring to her step as happy as she was to finally be able to enter the kitchens when it pleased her. Especially since her company was Gell and not Anna.
Bree crossed the threshold of the hall and found some of the clanswomen standing around Cait. As she got closer, she heard their remarks. Their blasphemous words stopped her short.
“She is a whoremonger, aye, giving her body to the laird,” a veritable unpleasant lady wearing the Gunn plaid over a dark blue underdress said.
Another lady joined in, insulting her. “God will strike her dead, aye he will for her sinful behavior. We won’t have someone like her within our clan.”
Bea nodded in agreement and said, “She’s sinned, for I knew she has. She’s a harridan and we won’t have her here. Nay, you should take her and leave our land.”
Bree felt her cheeks stinging with their crude remarks. Before she could defend herself, Cait shoved the second lady who fell back on her arse. She then poked the first lady’s chest until she had backed up against the wall. All she had to do was give Bea a disgruntled look, and the woman backed away.
“Do not speak of my lady like that. She has a kinder heart than any of you and what do you know about whom she sleeps with. I tell you she was asleep in our chamber the entire night. But why am I explaining this to you? Get out or I shall tell your laird that you are disrespecting his guest.” Cait took a hasty step toward them and they all backed up.
The women fled, but not before they sneered at her when they passed by. Cait picked up a cup, downing the entire drink.
“What foul women Laird Gunn has within his clan. Sunny, I am so glad you couldn’t hear those wretched women.”
“But I did.” Bree sat on a bench near the hearth and lowered her gaze. “Do you believe everyone thinks that of me? Am I going to be condemned by God, Cait?”
Cait set Sunny next to her and paced before the hearth. “By God, nay. You have done nothing to be ashamed of, Bree. Those women are jealous because you are here, residing in their laird’s home. I should be the one they condemn, my lady, not you.”
“We shall speak of that later. I do have something to be ashamed of. I’ve had impure thoughts.”
“Oh, Bree, all of us have impure thoughts. That does not make it a sin. Unless ye have acted upon those thoughts … which I know ye have not.”
“Nay, I have not, but there are other sins I should confess, Cait. I must find a priest. Is there one here among they Gunns?”
“I know not, but I shan’t worry about it.”
“I shall go inquire.” Unhappy at the prospect of being damned, Bree left Sunny with Cait and went in search of a man of God. Surely, there had to be someone of the faith in their clan.
Outside, the morning was chilly with a canvas of gloom settling above. The dour mood of the morning matched her despondent spirit. Bree walked along without thought to where she was going. She’d need to find a chapel and if they didn’t have one, she’d search out a confessor.
With her mind so focused on her problem, she didn’t see the goat following. As she continued to walk along, more animals joined the foray behind her. She wasn’t aware, occupied only with the thought of finding someone to confess her sins. When she glanced at the people she passed, she noticed their odd gazes. More clans people who thought her unworthy and doomed to hell, she thought.
She couldn’t find a chapel anywhere and considered asking someone if there was a priest who resided there, but she wouldn’t dare. The people all ready thought her circumspect, and she wouldn’t add to their condemnation.
An old woman approached and blocked her path. She smiled a toothless grin and set an arm out, extending her hand, stopping her from moving on. Hunched over, the woman appeared to be ancient. Bree slowed and stopped before the woman, looking at her with a frown and wondering what she wanted. Mayhap she wanted to ridicule her or condemn her like the others.
“Lass, why?” she asked, pointing behind her.
When Bree turned around, she saw a goat, two hounds, and a chicken. She frowned at the sight, confused as to why the animals followed her. Then she realized she must smell like the kitchens. In the hot confines of the kitchen, the scents must have permeated her clothing.
“Oh my. I must have something here for them.” She patted her inseams and found nothing with which to appease them. The animals got a little ornery then and began to nudge her. The hounds jumped on her and barked. The chicken pecked at her slippers and the goat stood there baaing.
The old woman laughed as did some of those standing nearby. Bree was embarrassed to her toes to have caused such a commotion. She tried to back away from the animals, but then fell on her rear end. Now mortified, she wanted to cry. This would be the second day in a row that she cried, and that thought alone brought tears springing forth, running down her cheeks.
Noise rose with the animal’s flight and a ruckus ensued. She heard laughter coming from those around her. Someone had chased them away. But Bree was too caught up in her woe to care who had rescued her.
When she chanced to look at the person kneeling next to her, she moaned.
“Lass, every time I find ye, you’re on the ground. Come, what are you about?”
She groaned again, when she noticed Grey’s guard standing behind him. “By my faith, Grey, I didn’t mean to … I was only looking for a priest.”
The men laughed and she heard a few grumbles of words she didn’t understand.
“Why do you need a priest, lass?”
She saw amusement in Grey’s eyes. “I am condemned, Grey, that is why. I must confess my sins. Please tell me you have a man of God here? If not, I will be damned.”
Grey laughed and behind him, she saw the smiling faces of all his guard, happily reveling in her embarrassment.
“Lass, what sins have ye committed? I doubt you could sin if you tried.”
Nods came from the men and she shook her head.
“Aye, milady, you could never sin,” she heard Greer say.
“I am sleeping in your keep,” she told Grey in a mortified whisper.
Ahhs came from the men now and their smiles widened. Apparently they had good hearing.
“Has she sinned, Laird?”
Before he could answer whoever asked that, she tried to explain further, “I know we are not sharing covers, but the women here believe we are and I …”
“I would share covers with you, lass, anytime.” Grey waved his hand at his men, who got the silent message and moved on. “Are ye inviting me?”
“But ‘tis a sin to even think of doing that.” Bree wanted to die of mortification for speaking without thinking. “What I mean to say is, I was not thinking that, but the women think I am thinking that.”
“Aye, ye confuse me and it’s my own fault. Come, if you want to speak with a man of God, you can speak to Father Geoffrey. I warn you though, he will make ye kneel until sunset no matter how inconsequential your sin be.”
“Do you go to confession?” she asked.
“Aye, when I need to.”
“And when might that be?”
Grey hunched his shoulder. “When I return from warring. When I …”
“Have impure thoughts?” sh
e hedged.
“I always have impure thoughts.” He said it so low and sensuously, but smiled. Bree thought he must be jesting.
“Oh my, then you may want to see Father Geoffrey when I am finished.”
She followed Grey to a small cottage, where he knocked on the door. A man answered. He wore a robe of coarse wool and a hat of dark brown cloth that covered his entire head. If he had any hair, she couldn’t see it, but at least his eyes were a soft brown. When he saw who had knocked at his door, he stepped back with a look of shock on his face. The father’s brows rose and his eyes darkened.
“Laird Gunn, this is an unexpected surprise.”
“Father Geoffrey, milady would like to make her confession.”
He stepped out of the cottage and closed the door. “I am sorry, laird, but I must go to the MacDonald’s, they’ve a soldier there wanting last rites. I was just leaving. Got to go hastily.”
“Can she not say her confession before you take leave? It’ll only take a few minutes and she won’t be appeased until she does. Besides, the MacDonalds can wait.”
Father Geoffrey seemed to consider her request and then nodded. “Aye, he’ll keep until I get there I suppose and I could never distress milady. Come and I shall hear your confession.”
Bree followed behind him meekly, taking a glance back at Grey who was left standing at Father’s cottage. When they reached a good distance from him, Father stopped at a tree and told her to stay on her side so they would have some separation.
As she stood there awaiting the Father to begin, she could see Grey watching from afar. He had taken a spot on a stone wall and crossed his arms, content to sit and wait. Bree was sure her face was crimson and surely, Grey could see it from where he sat.
“Milady, are ye ready to begin?”
At once she folded her hands, steeping them toward heaven. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have had impure thoughts about Laird Gunn. Though we have not shared covers, I am staying at his keep, and … the thought has crossed my mind. The women in the clan are shunning me. I have wallowed in self-pity, too, crying at the silliest things. And I have been selfish in my desire to thwart the man I am betrothed to.”
“My, that is quite a list, milady. Are ye not betrothed to Laird Gunn?”
“Oh nay, a man in the MacHeth clan. But I refuse to marry him. I have paid Laird Gunn for his protection. Do you deem God will condemn me for it, Father?”
“God will never condemn ye, milady. Have no fear of that. He loves all his children. Do ye wish to be betrothed to Laird Gunn in his stead? Mayhap that may solve some of your problems.”
Bree shook her head and watched Grey speaking to a passerby. “I don’t wish to be betrothed to anyone, Father. I want only to return to England and put this all behind me.”
“Ye can solve one of your problems by asking Laird Gunn to allow ye to leave his keep. I am sure he will permit ye to stay in one of the vacant cottages until ye take your journey. If ye do, the clan will no longer be unkind.”
She nodded. “I shall ask him, Father, thank you for the suggestion.”
“This night before ye seek your sleep, ye shall say twenty “Hail Mary’s” and pray to the Blessed Mother for your sins for your impure thoughts. She will reward ye with a lightened heart.” Father Geoffrey came from around the tree and made the sign of the cross in front of her. “Now I must go. I’m sure the MacDonald died by now.” With that, the father hurried away.
Bree began walking toward the keep and wondered how she would ask Grey her request. Deep in thought, she didn’t hear him approach from behind.
“Where are ye going?”
She practically jumped a foot from the ground. “Oh! Grey, I was going to the keep.”
“Come with me. I would speak with you.” Grey took her hand and in quick strides, pulled her along. He walked a good distance before he slowed. “Do you recognize this place?”
She gazed around and saw a Thatcher’s hut and could hear noises from within. Ahead of that hut stood a Tanner’s hut and also a Smyth’s, where much noise came from. Several clan members walked the worn pathway between the huts and many were busy tending chores. The village was clean and well tended.
“Nay, I do not. Should I?”
“This is where you oft slumbered when ye visited. I thought it might remind ye of being here. This is the last place I’d seen ye, where you napped.” Grey took her to the spot where she had lain and he sat with his legs crossed in front of him. She thought he looked saddened, for a look of woe came about him.
Bree couldn’t help looking at his muscular calves or bared knees. Her eyes trailed over his tartan to his waist and a little lower. Impure thoughts converged and so instead, she concentrated on the huts around her and tried to recall being there. Taking a seat next to him, she knelt and fixed her skirt to maintain modesty.
“Let me tell you what I know. We were celebrating Saint Swithin’s Day here. Many came to celebrate with us, all of your clan and ours. Even King William attended. It was a grand affair.”
“But why would we celebrate Saint Swithin’s Day with your clan?” She became perplexed at that since she knew many a clan stayed to themselves.
“My parents were fond of your da and ma. We often attended the same celebrations. Our fathers were elected by King William to a council. That day my father bid me to keep an eye on you. You were always running around, getting into trouble. Aye, ye were a hard lass, but sweet nevertheless. You told me your fears of your father’s ally, the MacHeth, that day. When you took rest, I went to watch the soldiers with my friends …”
He looked miles away. Bree didn’t have the heart to stop him with questions and so she listened, attentive to each word.
“When I returned to you, you were gone. Our clans searched for you, but no one could find you. It was obvious someone had taken you. MacHeth had nothing to gain by secreting you away. After you’d been missing for a month, he and his followers confronted your da and a war broke out amongst your clan and MacHeth and his followers.”
He reached out and touched her face. “He killed some members of your clan, Bree, of that I do know. Your father was one of them. But why MacHeth chose to keep you safe is beyond me. You told me that he called you names and said he’d spank you if you told anyone, and that he told you a secret. I was but a lad then and I told you to tell your da, but you wouldn’t. I searched for you and begged my da to help. He took me to England even, but we never found you.”
All that he told her dismayed her beyond words. After a few minutes of silence, she finally spoke. “I didn’t believe anyone searched for me. I’d been sent away though, and I wasn’t sure why. I cannot remember that day. I do feel as though I know you, but mayhap I am willing it because you have been so kind.”
Grey took her hand in his, and he looked most serious. “There is a reason for my kindness, Bree. When you and I were young, the king proclaimed—”
Several of Grey’s guard came running in their direction. He stood and helped her up from the ground, but wouldn’t release her hand. Bree should have pulled away, but it felt too good to be held by him.
“Laird, we have company. Laird Ross has arrived and is awaiting ye in the hall,” Greer shouted as he approached.
Grey turned and looked at her. “I must go. Bree, we will finish this conversation this evening. I need to tell you about …” He looked back at his men.
“They’re waiting, Laird,” Greer said and began walking toward the main keep.
“Please, do not keep them waiting, Grey. I must hurry to the kitchen. Thank you for sending Gell. He is a kind man.”
Grey raised an eyebrow. “Kind? I have never heard Gell described as such. A meaner, grumpier old man never lived. But you are sweet enough to affect even the testiest man. I will see you soon.” Reluctantly, he released her hand and walked off.
Bree smiled to herself. Mayhap the morning wasn’t going to be as bad as she thought. She started walking toward the kitchen and saw Cait fanni
ng herself, standing in front of the entrance.
“I knew you would eventually come here. Did you find a priest?”
She smiled and nodded. “Aye, and I gave my confession. Father Geoffrey gave me sound advice as well. What have you been doing?”
“Waiting for you. Those horrid women came in the hall and I couldn’t stand being in the same room with them. They’re cleaning, if you can call it that.”
Bree noticed Sunny playing beside a tree near the kitchen. When the child saw her, she came running and threw herself into Bree’s arms. She hugged Sunny close and kissed her cheek. Then she made sure Sunny could see her face when she spoke to her, hoping she could see her mouth moving.
“Good morn, Sunny.” Bree set her down and the child continued to run around the tree.
Cait stopped Sunny and bade her to sit in the small patch of grass, and then handed her an apple. “I figured you’d eventually come to the kitchens, but the man inside was yelling at two young lads who were sent to help him. I couldn’t stay inside. His voice is grating.”
“Cait, about last night …” Bree didn’t know where to begin. “I do apologize for coming down to the hall. I had no idea you were there, and well, I never suspected you and Duff had become so … intimate.”
“Bree, I finally won him over. I do believe that man knows places on a woman’s body … I tell you, I never had such a … he is remarkable.”
She sighed. “I shall not even ask what you mean by that. Will you marry him?”
“Marry? I doubt Duff will ask. Who am I but a lady’s maid? I don’t aspire to be the wife of a soldier though he is second in command.”
“If he does ask, will you oblige him? I ask only because it would make me happy to know that you were well situated when I return to England.”
Cait took hold of her arm and pulled her next to the tree where dense shade darkened the ground. As they stood there, Bree could smell the marvelous scent of fish being cooked within the kitchens. The air was thick with its aroma.
“Bree, I have known you since you were a young girl and in all that time I never heard you say anything so preposterous. You cannot return to England.”