‘Because it’s only fair that you know Brett Slade is Milton Van Preston’s contact in Rainbow Cliffs. He’s the guy Roger’s been dealing through.’
She expected anger, a spontaneous eruption of aggravated emotion, but Jamie met her gaze levelly. ‘Thanks, but I’ve already been informed.’
What? All she could do was blink her surprise. ‘Who by?’ Roger and Lou were the only ones who knew, and Lou, having just walked here with her from the health centre, had had no opportunity to talk to him.
Jamie’s eyes swivelled away. Unease fluttered her stomach and a sense of foreboding tightened the muscles of her throat.
‘Who told you?’ she asked again, her voice wobbly.
He fidgeted with his fingers, clasping and unclasping them at his side. ‘Devane was here earlier.’
The sudden violent thudding beneath her ribcage couldn’t be ignored. She could barely breathe from the effort of trying to form her next words. ‘What do you mean by “here”? In this room? You showed him Gracie?’
‘Yes,’ he admitted with obvious reluctance, refusing to look at her.
‘Oh, Jamie, please tell me you haven’t—’
‘I’ve agreed to sell Gracie to Van Preston.’
Chapter 16
Jamie watched the colour disappear from Gem’s face. Her white-knuckled fingers grasped the edge of the display case while her upper body sagged against it. His words had obviously hit hard.
Good!
‘What? Not happy with the idea of losing out?’ He gave a shrug, an effort to emphasise that her feelings meant nothing to him. ‘That’s life. I thought you’d at least be relieved Gracie won’t be dismantled.’
That fact had been a major consideration in helping make up his mind. Much as he loathed the professor, the offer made by Van Preston had been too good to pass up. With that amount of money, buying back the family home was finally within reach; his long-held dream would become reality.
So why aren’t you ecstatic? He asked himself the question for the thousandth time since he’d agreed to sell his prize possession.
Gem continued to gaze at him wordlessly. The unshed tears glistening in her eyes made her look so vulnerable. And so damn desirable.
He gave himself a mental slap; he shouldn’t be having thoughts like that at a time like this. But her flowery fragrance filled the air in the confined room, inundating his brain with vivid recollections of last night, and for a moment he almost drowned in the memory ...
Until the face of the man making love with Gem evolved into that of Roger Devane.
Bilious green jealousy engorged his throat. Desperate to purge the image, he swallowed down the bitter taste in his mouth and rounded on her. ‘Nothing to say? No excuse for why you did what you did?’
She lowered her face. ‘You don’t understand. Roger—’
‘Oh yes, your—what do I call him? Your ex ex? Your husband?’ He’d never let her see how much those words hurt to say out loud; he had his pride, difficult as it was to maintain at the moment. ‘I’m surprised you’re not out celebrating with him right now.’ Frustration laced his tone with acid.
Her refusal to meet his eyes continued, and the unsettling silence finally got to him. He slammed an open palm on the edge of the case separating them. ‘Say something!’
She jumped, visibly shaken, but still no words came.
He flung her a scorching stare, allowing the fire in his belly to take control. ‘What’s wrong, Gem? So ashamed of yourself you can’t speak? Or busy devising some new plan to manipulate me?’
In trying to puzzle through her possible motives for showing up here, a new and ugly thought struck. ‘I’m wondering if you ever had any intention of Gracie going to your museum in the first place. Maybe this was a plan cooked up by you and the professor to exploit our past relationship; to convince me to sell her to you for the cheapest price so you could on-sell her to Van Preston and make a tidy profit for yourselves.’
She stared at him, face drawn and pale, and the look of pained reproach in her ice-blue eyes speared a desolate chill right through him. The confused rush of emotions that assaulted him, a mixture of anguish and animosity and regret for what might have been, deepened the sense of betrayal. He had to look away, the brutal ache just below his ribs thumping in time with his heavy heartbeat.
For brief seconds he struggled with his conscience, until self-justification cut back in, bringing with it a tightening of the guard around his heart. He had no reason to feel guilty about what he’d done; Gem had no one but herself to blame for losing out to Van Preston. If she’d only been honest with him—made it clear their lovemaking was purely a physical thing, owned up to still having feelings for her ex—he might still have some respect for her.
But how could he have anything but contempt for her now—knowing her stories of woe about her ex being a liar and a cheat, and their marriage miserable, were just that: stories? A woman would have to be a fool to be involved in a relationship with a man like that, and Gem was no fool. Not by a long shot.
He was the idiot here—idiot enough to believe her lies. She’d actually made him believe she loved him!
‘You need to leave.’ The sudden resurgence of anger eclipsed any thought of ending this with his dignity intact. ‘I mean it. Get out!’ He leaned forward over the table, one finger stabbing out the direction to the door.
‘I ... I can’t go until I tell you something you need to know. Something I should have told you long before now.’ With the back of a hand, Gem swiped at two watery drops that spilled over her lids.
She sure put on a good show. What new lies could she possibly have for him?
He strapped another layer of self-protective armour around his heart. ‘You know what? Save yourself the effort. I wouldn’t trust anything you have to say anyway.’
‘Please, Jamie. Please, don’t make this any harder than it already is.’ Her tone implored him to believe her; tear tracks shimmered on her cheeks. He had to hand it to her, she was convincing.
Briefly, an uncomfortable thought surfaced: what if she was actually about to tell the truth this time? There was something so genuine in her voice ... and that haunted expression lurking in her eyes made him want to ...
What the hell was he thinking! She’d fooled him one too many times. Never again. The tangled knot in his chest tightened into a hard ball as he barricaded himself against any thought of excusing her double-dealing tactics.
‘Get on with it. What? What is it I need to know? Hopefully then you’ll leave.’
* * *
Gem’s mouth felt powder-dry and her pulse pumped in her throat. As if the antagonistic tone wasn’t enough, the bitter line of Jamie’s mouth and the arms folded across his chest betrayed his hostility.
A wave of weakness washed over her. Maybe now’s not the best time ...
Unable to look at him without reviving memories of the hurt she’d caused him, she dropped her gaze—until conscience reinstated itself. There was never going to be a best time.
She looked up to meet his shuttered stare and dragged in a lungful of stale air. ‘I get it. I do. When you ... lose faith in someone you don’t know what to believe from them, but I am about to be honest with you.’
The dismissive snort halted her for a moment, his censure reminding her of the need to choose her words carefully. A bombshell was about to explode and he was the innocent target. ‘The thing is, Jamie, the truth can hurt, and I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t admitted until now what I’m going to tell you. The other reason is that I’m afraid.’
‘Afraid of what? Of who?’ he demanded. ‘Me?’
‘In a way. I—I’m scared of ... ’ She hung her head, her chin almost to her chest, the words strangling in her constricted throat. Then she drew herself up, sending him a silent plea for his understanding. ‘I’m scared of the repercussions. This is life-changing stuff, for you and me both.’
If he sensed her ang
uish, felt any compassion whatsoever for her distressed state, he let none of it show on his face or in his tone. ‘Go on.’
She opened her mouth and suddenly the words she needed to say were gushing in an unstoppable burst from her lips. ‘A few weeks after you left Sydney I found out I was pregnant. Jamie, Drew is your son.’
He took the information in without blinking.
The ache to reach out for him proved too strong to ignore. She took a step around the case. ‘It’s got to be a shock for you, but—’
‘Stop!’ He warded her off with an upraised palm and backed away, his entire body screaming rejection. ‘What are you playing at? You can’t seriously expect me to believe that?’
The explosive denial made her cringe, physically and mentally. In trying to mend the damage she’d done, in finally admitting the truth, she’d roused a side to Jamie she’d never seen before. It wasn’t pretty.
Not that he didn’t have a right to be angry with her; he did, and the only way to get past this was to explain everything as best she could. ‘I have no reason to lie any longer. A secret only has power until it’s revealed, and now that I’ve told you, Roger can’t ... ’ she said and paused, waiting until she could continue without her voice breaking, ‘ ... can’t threaten me with it anymore.’
A muscle ticked along one side of his clenched jaw as he glared at her. ‘Secrets? Threats? I have no idea what you’re talking about. What I do know is that the Gem I first knew, the girl I fell in love with, was no liar. She’d never trample over someone’s feelings the way you’re trampling over mine right now, telling me these lies and presuming I’m stupid enough to believe them.’
She recoiled. They stood only paces apart but the gulf between them had suddenly deepened to an abyss. The pain-filled words he flung at her, his questioning of the integrity of her confession: if he thought so little of her how could she possibly convince him of the truth?
A heavy silence lay between them as she fought back tears, at the same time trying to calm her breathing with slow, deep inhalations. The only answer was to confess all. ‘You’re right. The girl I used to be would never have lied or deliberately hurt anyone. But can’t you see? This last week, being with you, has helped me resurrect that Gem from wherever she’d disappeared to. I’m telling the truth about Drew, Jamie. I swear to God.’
He stared at her in shocked uncertainty, his expression slowly turning to stunned realisation. ‘What the hell have you done?’ he rasped out in a hoarse whisper, his face almost devoid of colour.
The accusation stung. ‘If you’d let me explain. I—’
He held up a silencing hand. ‘I don’t want your excuses.’ He spoke through a grill of bared teeth. ‘Just answer this: how can you live with yourself? After all the things I confided to you, you still didn’t have sufficient trust in me to tell me we have a child? How dare you keep that from me?’
‘I’m sorry. I—I’m so sorry.’ Hot-faced with self-reproach, not knowing what else to say, she surrendered to tears. The sticky warmth flowed unchecked down her cheeks to gather in salty drops at the corners of her mouth. She brushed them away with the back of a hand.
‘Not good enough,’ he said in a dead tone.
The finality in his tone pierced like a barb to the heart, puncturing a hole that would only grow larger if she couldn’t repair the damage. ‘We should ... I want ... ’ She groped for something to finish the thought—some suggestion, some excuse, some words of comfort—but came up with nothing.
‘Just ... go, Gem. I don’t want you anywhere near me.’
With those words, his withdrawal became absolute. She closed her eyes, feeling suddenly so deeply, so terribly alone she may as well have been the only survivor of a cataclysmic event. The man she loved hated her, and how could she blame him? She’d known the truth would either draw them together ... or drive them apart.
Now she had her answer.
Unable to stand the raw hurt in his voice, the wounded accusation in his eyes, she turned and walked away on trembling legs, her mind a churning knot of guilt and her heart slashed open.
* * *
Jamie fixed his unseeing stare at a point on the earthen wall straight ahead as the woman he’d believed was the love of his life disappeared into the darkness. Only when the click of the closing door echoed through the room did he allow his emotions free rein. The stark reality of what he’d been told was starting to sink in; his world would never be the same again.
He had a child! A son he’d never known about.
Oh, god!
Without warning, all the breath in his body punched out of him. He swayed, almost losing balance, lungs constricted so painfully that his chest felt crushed with the pressure and he was forced to suck in air in huge gasps as the truth sank deeper. This was massive. Life-altering. Too much to take in.
What the hell was he supposed to do? Take up fathering duties with a child he’d never met? How would that work? The boy lived thousands of kilometres away, with a mother Jamie wanted nothing more to do with.
He doubled over, his legs deserting him, and dropped to his knees on the dirt floor beside the cabinet. Eyes blurry with tears, stomach muscles bunched hard with anguish, he let sorrow wash through him with no way to stop it.
How could Gem have kept it from him? Not had enough faith in him to have told him before now? They’d spent every day of the last week together, and the more he got to see her, to laugh with her, to take in what he’d believed was a true change in her, the more in love with her he’d fallen.
That’s what hurt. That, and the knowledge he’d never again make love with the only woman he’d ever allowed into his heart. More fool, him. Nothing stung with quite the venom of unrequited love. At least here in his sanctuary he could let this unbearable pain loose without the worry of witnesses.
A soft click and the door pushed open.
He jumped to his feet and swiped at his eyes. ‘Who’s there?’
‘Me.’
Chapter 17
Jamie kicked at the dirt floor with the toe of one boot. ‘What do you want?’ His voice emerged harder than he’d intended, but if there was one thing he could do without right now it was his father’s interference.
Harry pulled the door closed behind him and leaned against it, arms folded across his chest. ‘I want to know why Gem just flew past me looking like the world had fallen out from under her, and why you’re skulking around back here like a wounded bull instead of going after her.’
Great! Just great.
When what he needed was breathing space, time alone to mourn and to come to grips with his dream-turned-nightmare, Harry had to lumber him with demands for an explanation. He could have said, ‘The woman I believed loved me just hurt and humiliated me’, but if he admitted that, the thudding ache in his chest would explode, exposing the frightening depth of his turbulent emotions. He couldn’t let his father see that. Couldn’t let anyone see that.
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ he spat out, hiding behind anger to stop from having to face the truth: that the knowledge he would never again touch the only woman he’d ever loved was enough to bring him to his knees.
‘I’m not giving you a choice, son. You’re miserable, Gem’s miserable. I’m guessing from Lou’s hints that she has some clue about what’s going on but she’s not sharing.’ Harry sounded more than a little angry, but genuine concern shadowed his eyes. ‘For all our sakes, answer me! What the bloody hell’s happening?’
His father hadn’t spoken to him with such ferocity since his wayward teenage years. The reminder of just how much he owed Harry was the slap in the face needed to force him to confess. ‘I told Gem I’m selling Gracie to Van Preston.’
Silence.
Jamie stared down at Gracie, trying to hide the guilt that had to be evident in his face, although why he felt guilty he wasn’t sure. It wasn’t as if his father wasn’t aware of his plans to sell the fossil.
‘I see.’ When he glanced up Harry was studying
him, his brow furrowed. ‘Care to tell me why?’
Still not yet ready to let his father in on his ultimate plan in case anything went wrong, he groped for an explanation. ‘The offer was too good to refuse. It’s a lot more money than I ever thought I’d get for her. She’ll end up in America but at least she’ll remain intact.’
Harry pushed off the door. ‘And what about the illegality of sending a rarity like Gracie out of the country without a permit?’
Irritated by the assumption he hadn’t taken that into account, Jamie’s voice took on an impatient quality. ‘I’m not an idiot, Dad. I’m quite aware precious stones and fossils come under the National Cultural Heritage Act, and that Gracie classifies under both categories. A permit has already been arranged.’
‘Really? Signed by the Minister for the Arts? That’s no mean feat on Mr Devane’s behalf.’ Harry was clearly dubious. ‘Are you sure it’s above board? The penalty for illegal exportation is a jail term, you know.’
His father’s words ricocheted through Jamie’s brain; that scenario had briefly tormented his thoughts but he’d bitten back his fears, refusing to make room in his head for the possibility. He was too close to fulfilling his promise to himself. And to Harry. Devane had assured him exporting Gracie was not going to be an issue, and much as he loathed the professor, right this moment all he prayed was that the son of a bitch was right.
‘Don’t worry. Everything’s been taken care of,’ he said evasively.
They stood for a moment staring at each other. ‘If you say so, son.’ The seams of worry down either side of his father’s mouth gave away his genuine concern.
Keeping his face carefully blank, even as uncertainty began to steal its way back in, Jamie managed enough self-control to respond with only a hint of frustration. ‘Are we finished here?’ He needed time alone to sift through his doubts; time to come up with questions that Devane shouldn’t find difficult to answer if he was really telling the truth.
Harry threw him a dark look. ‘No we’re not. I don’t believe the only reason Gem’s upset and that you’re being so bloody-minded is because you’ve sold Gracie to Van Preston.’
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