by Leah Holden
Just the thought of our time together gave me a thrill. Just to know that he was somewhere in the city thinking of me was a great turn on. I knew, or at least, I felt that I had a special connection with Jared. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but being around him was definitely like coming home. I was suddenly hopeful for the first time in a long while.
I made a mental note to thank Shellie for giving me that push to stop being a wuss and go get my man!
Later on that day, Jared called to let me know he had an appointment out of town that evening, but maybe we could do something together later on in the week when he got back.
I was okay with that because honestly, I had a lot of my own stuff going on. I didn’t even mind that he was going away again. I was just happy to know that we could be meeting up soon. I could scarcely contain my excitement at the thought of what we could possibly get up to on our next date.
The following day Shellie called.
“I’m coming over,” she said, “I have news for you and I need to tell you in person.”
“I hate suspense,” I said, “Can’t you tell me now?”
“No, but don’t go out—this stuff cannot keep.”
“Okay, I’m waiting.”
When she arrived, Shellie threw her purse dramatically onto the sofa and got straight down to business.
“You’ll never guess who I saw down in the entertainment district last night?”
“Jeez, Shellie, I’m not psychic and there are over two million people in this city!”
Shellie was undeterred.
“Your new mystery guy,” she said.
“What mystery guy?”
“You know, Jared. The one you’re so hung up on.”
My level of frustration was growing and I was confused.
“How do you know it was him?”
“Don’t you remember the picture that you texted me a while back on date number one?”
“Oh, yeah.” I’d totally forgotten about sending her that picture. “Are you sure it was him?”
“Of course I’m sure. So, you remember that new guy I’ve been dating?”
“Bruno?”
“Oh, please, he’s history.”
“Shellie, can you please just get to the point?” The suspense was starting to get to me.
“I am getting to the point. So I was on date number two last night with my new man—oh my God, he is gorgeous, you won’t believe how amazing he is.”
“Shellie!”
“Oh, yes, sorry. So we were at that newly refurbished theatre in the entertainment district and that’s when I saw him.”
“It seems highly unlikely,” I said. I was pretty sure that Jared had mentioned being out of town for a couple of days.
“Of course it was him,” said Shellie adamantly. “You know I’ve always had a great memory for faces. Plus, I still have your message so I even checked on my cell; it was him alright. But that’s not all—he was with a woman.”
“So, he’s a free agent,” I said but my heart sank a little.
“There’s more,” said Shellie. Here her voice softened a little in sympathy, “She looked very pregnant!”
This was clearly the punch-line.
As far as punch-lines went, it was fairly effective. The room suddenly felt close and a heat spread across my face. The sinking feeling turned into a deep disappointment.
“Maybe she was his long-lost sister,” I said trying to style things out—the last thing I needed was to learn negative stuff about Jared.
“They looked pretty tight,” Shellie said.
I sat down on the nearest chair because I was feeling kind of faint and sick at heart.
“How tight?”
“Extremely tight.”
“How pregnant was she?” My voice sounded strained, even to myself.
“Like her water could break if she sneezed too hard.”
“I’m gonna puke,” I said because I felt genuinely sick.
Right then I felt let down—make that devastated: Sure, I hadn’t expected much from any man, but this?
“You’re not going to faint, are you?” asked Shellie.
“Not the fainting type,” I said vaguely. I was wondering how I could have been such a fool. I’d always known that where men were concerned, you never could tell—but Jared and a pregnant wife? Wow! I couldn’t even begin to deal with the irony of the whole situation.
“Maybe she’s not his wife and she’s pregnant for someone else and they’re just meeting up, maybe she’s a friend.”
“He rubbed her belly,” said Shellie.
“Bastard,” I said. “Like, what a total loser.”
I hadn’t even noticed that Shellie had gone to the wine fridge and returned with a bottle.
“Do you need a straw or shall I get a glass?” she asked and if my mind hadn’t been in such turmoil, I would have laughed.
“That’s the last time I take your advice and call up some loser. I can’t believe I slept with a married man.”
“So you did sleep with him!”
“That’s all you care about at this time? Yes, I did go a bit far with him, but that bastard was married all along?”
“Calm down, Shaniah, he’s not worth it.”
“Oh blast, I swear I’ll—I’ll –”
“You’ll do nothing,” said Shellie, “You don’t want a permanent man, remember? You just want to get pregnant and get on with it by yourself.”
“I know; that’s what I said. Oh, I’m so mad at myself because I forgot to keep my eye on the goal. Who does he think he is?”
“He’s a guy—an asshole—but still just a guy and one you had no business being with—he was obviously way below your usual standard if he was cheating on his pregnant wife.”
Considering that Shellie viewed Todd as my usual standard, and given her low opinion of him, that was not good.
I was very upset. I’d gone against all my principles when I’d pretty much fallen victim to Jared’s charms on that first date. And now this! Well, he’d better keep well out of my neighborhood—because, with such provocation, I couldn’t swear that I wouldn’t attack him if I saw him in the street.
Maybe I’d try to get in touch with him just so that I could plan my revenge.
Shellie stuck around long enough to make sure that I wasn’t going to stick my head in the oven the moment she left the house. I was still in turmoil long after she’d left. I was all alone with my wine, and I waited until Josh was in his room to actually cry a bit. God, I hated crying over men; it made me feel so weak.
Finally, I came to my senses. There was no reason for me to be so upset. He hadn’t made me any promises apart from saying he’d call. We were just two consenting adults enjoying some great sex—some really great sex as I remembered. He hadn’t told me he loved me. He hadn’t even told me much about himself. So, he had been a stranger and I was like some stupid moth that had danced too near to the flame.
By the time Jared called later on that evening I was composed.
“Hi, gorgeous,” he said.
His voice that had sounded so sexy, so charming, and so beautiful suddenly made me cringe.
How could he? I had heard about men who felt the need to cheat on their pregnant wives. I had just never met one…until now.
“Hi,” I said coldly. Let him figure it out. As far as I was concerned I owed him nothing, least of all an explanation.
“Are you okay, Shaniah?” his voice was immediately full of concern.
“I’m fine,” I said abruptly.
“You don’t sound fine.”
“I am totally okay. Can I help you?”
“Okay,” said Jared sounding very concerned and very confused.
Well, that would make two of us, I guess.
“You’re obviously not in a good mood,” he was saying, “Perhaps I should call back tomorrow.”
“Actually, I need to talk to you about that. I think we’ve been a bit hasty with our activities and we need to co
ol things.”
“Look, Shaniah, I understand that you are a bit worried that we don’t really know each other that well but we can make this work.”
“Actually, I don’t think you understand at all,” I interrupted him. “I can’t deal with this now. I think it’s best if we just move on with our respective lives. I can’t even say it was nice knowing you.”
I could hear his intake of breath, but I was past caring. I was tired of this unpalatable situation. Perhaps he could figure it out while he was in the delivery ward with his wife.
I switched off the phone quickly before the tears began to fall. I didn’t want him to know just how much I had been affected by him.
I did, however, allow myself the luxury of wallowing in self-pity for the rest of the night, but not before I’d blocked Jared’s number. So I had no way of knowing if he tried to get in touch with me and I had no intentions of unblocking it—ever.
Anyway, life didn’t come to a grinding halt because I’d discover that I’d done the deed with a married man and now all my new found hope and happiness were lying in tatters around my feet.
I carried on with my regular activities. I was on autopilot and I’d truly lost whatever little interest I’d had in most things. I worked at launching my business because I had no choice. There was no fairy godmother waiting in the wings to convert my utility bills to dollar bills.
Josh was ever loving and sweet and needed a lot of parenting. Ria was pragmatic and told me there were plenty more fish in the sea, but I was done with fishing.
Shellie phoned to make sure I was doing okay and met me at Timmies for coffee and donuts, which was perhaps as good a source of anti-depressant as I could find without being committed to an institution.
When Ria called some days later with details of her firm’s charity ball, I wasn’t exactly in the mood for something as challenging as an evening of entertainment.
However, I had a choice—I could stay home and keep wallowing, or I could decide to put on my glad rags and some war paint and get on with my life. I opted for the latter and promised that I would be there. The event was a couple of weeks away so I had plenty of time to get over Jared—not that there was really that much to get over. One night of sex was hardly anything to write home about.
Shellie was concerned about me attending the charity event as she imagined I was somehow on the edge. I had a hard time convincing her that I was alright. Apparently, I failed because she insisted on accompanying me and I was unable to get her to budge. Maybe she wanted to be on hand to make sure I didn’t fall for any potential Lotharios out there in my current vulnerable state. I checked with Ria that it was okay for her to buy a ticket at the door, and it was a done deal.
So, two weeks later, I was ready for some diversion. I hadn’t exactly sat around wallowing in self-pity, but I hadn’t exactly been the happiest of souls either. On the night, Shellie decided to drive because her Mercedes convertible had more street cred than my Yaris.
I thought her car was at odds with her ‘save the earth mantra’ but I didn’t say so because in reality, the silver exterior of her sleek car kind of made a nice background for my backless cocktail dress. It also stood a much better chance of getting us there in one piece.
Ria was waiting for us in the foyer of the hotel where the party was being hosted. “You’re late,” she said, kissing first me and then Shellie briefly on the cheek. “Come check your coats in and then we’re going to meet AJ.” She winked at Shellie “He’s my boss, and I’ve been trying to hook them up for the longest time.”
Apparently, Ria hadn’t registered the fact that I was totally off men and I didn’t think it was a good time to update her. I shrugged. She could introduce me all she wanted to any number of men but I was a reconfirmed single girl. Seemingly, it was not in my stars to spend my life with anyone so I was happily resigned to my single state.
“Sounds interesting,” said Shellie, “No doubt you’ve heard the news about her latest guy. She definitely needs a new man now; so take us to your leader.”
“As I apparently don’t get a say in all this, do I have time to get a drink first?” I asked.
“No,” said Ria, “I need you to be sober because I think you should definitely get in there before someone else nabs him.”
“If he’s so nabbable, maybe he isn’t for me.”
“Don’t be silly. Besides, he said he was looking forward to seeing you. I’ve told him all about you.”
“I hope not,” I said, thanking God that she didn’t quite know all there was to tell. I exchanged an anxious look with Shellie, who just grinned broadly at me.
“Go get him, tiger.”
I rolled my eyes at the two of them as we started the walk through the fairly-crowded room which was rocking with waiters carrying trays of drinks and smart-looking people dressed in cocktail attire. In my present mood, the noise was deafening and if I hadn’t been flanked by Shellie and Ria, I would have fled.
We moved over towards a group of people and I could spot a tall, dark-haired man who had his back to us. The few people gathered around him seemed to be listening to him with intent. I thought that there was something familiar about the set of his shoulders and the way he held himself.
As we approached, he turned slightly and my heart seemed to lurch with dread. The profile was too familiar. My pace slowed, but Ria grabbed my hand, “I didn’t know you were the shy type,” she grinned as she nudged me over to the group.
Several pairs of eyes turned to look at us. Ria was obviously very relaxed because these were her colleagues. Shellie was not usually phased by anything and was standing beside me looking on with interest.
“This is AJ, our CEO,” said Ria looking pretty pleased with herself.
Shellie stepped forward and shook his hand even though she seemed somewhat hesitant.
I looked into a familiar pair of piercing grey eyes. I couldn’t have moved my hands if my life had depended on it.
Jared!
Confusion!
Self-consciousness!
Embarrassment!
I stared back at the man who was smiling at me.
Okay, so surely this type of situation only happens to other people? You know, the type with loose morals. They go out on a blind date, they act like a slut with a guy whose name they obviously don’t know, they continue to act like a slut and get up front and personal with him in his temporary apartment even though he hadn’t bothered to call that much after the first slut experience. Then one night they find out he’s their sister’s boss—and clearly he is some kind of internet crawler with an alias. They die of shame on the spot. Or, maybe they don’t quite die on the spot—maybe they go home and kill themself.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Shaniah?” I could hear Ria’s voice breaking through the fog.
“AJ?”
I repeated the name parrot fashion because everyone was looking at me and I needed to say something.
Was I supposed to call him Jared?
He took my limp hand into his own and shook it like we were business partners.
“Hello, Shaniah.”
His grin was warm, maybe even welcoming.
Never smile at a crocodile…
I shook my head to clear the words. Why was I thinking of a child’s nursery rhyme? Maybe I was having a major breakdown right there and then.
“I’m glad you decided to come.”
His grin looked wider and it made him look self-satisfied; overconfident, smug; like he was party to a great joke that only he got. I sure as hell wasn’t seeing anything funny in this scenario.
I felt like a ventriloquist’s doll as I tried to move my lips. They felt frozen and yet, I heard a pathetic little sound escape.
I tried to retrieve my hand which I couldn’t even remember putting in his. It felt dirty and branded, laying there lifelessly in his. He must have felt me tremble because his look suddenly turned to one of concern. I looked around in desperation.
How c
ould he be AJ? I felt betrayed for the second time in one week.
Did no one know about his pregnant wife? Ria had said he was divorced. The office grapevine must have failed.
“You’re losing your touch, AJ,” I heard a male voice joke as I moved quickly, intent on making a dash for the washroom.
I ignored the voice. I needed to think. No way was I brazen enough to handle this crap. I tried to remember where I’d seen a sign for the washroom. It came to me then. There had been a sign pointing to the left as we’d entered the foyer.
“Shaniah?” Ria and Shellie were coming after me but they didn’t catch up with me until I was splashing cold water on my face in the washroom.
All that lovely makeup!
“Shaniah, what is your problem?” Ria was looking furious or it could have been concern—I had no way of telling right then.
“I can’t tell you,” I groaned.
How could I tell anyone?
Could this ever decreasing circle get any smaller? Ria put her hands on my shoulders and shook me, “Stop acting crazy and tell me right away, or I swear…”
“Okay, okay…it’s him. It’s Jared.”
“You’re not making sense.”
“The guy I told you about; my internet Adonis.”
“Holy shit,” said Ria, looking a bit strange.
“What…what?” I needed to know what she knew.
“You’re the girlfriend?” Ria sounded incredulous, “I had no idea he’d even…”
“No, you idiot, I’m the one-night stand, I think. What do you mean ‘the girlfriend’?”
“Hello everybody, remember me?” said Shellie.
We both looked at her, “What?”
“I’m confused,” she said, “What’s going on?”
“Jared,” I said, “Surely you recognize him? He’s also Ria’s new boss apparently.”
“But, I don’t think—I mean—” for once Shellie was struggling for words. She seemed genuinely confused. “I think I might have…” she didn’t get to finish her statement because right then there was a knock on the washroom door.
We looked at the door in confusion. Who the hell knocks on the door to a public washroom?
“Er—it’s open,” said Ria.