by Beth Moore
“Well guys, I need to get going.” Lynn slid her chair back from the table and stood. “I just hope that I’ll be able to sing with this hill stomach. Another great meal, Matt!”
“Thanks. Have a good practice,” Matt said with a wave goodbye.
Chris looked up as Lynn opened the sliding glass door and stepped into the house. “Hey, what about…”
“I’m sorry, I’m just too mil for ice cream right now, but you can go ahead if you want to!” Lynn said apologetically.
“Wait a minute,” Matt called to Lynn. “Ice cream? Oh no, have you corrupted her already?”
Lynn stuck her head back out the door with a mischievous smile. “Depends on what you mean by corrupting her!”
“Lynn…” Matt glared at her, remembering their conversation in the kitchen the first night.
“I’m just teasing! Can’t you take a joke?” Lynn laughed, shrugged her shoulders, and glanced over at Chris.
Chris smiled. Matt mumbled something under his breath and swallowed the last drop of wine from his glass.
Lynn grabbed her keys and headed out the door. “Shoot!” she said to herself as she looked at her watch and realized it was later than she thought. For some reason she wasn’t as excited as usual about going to practice. She wanted to stay home. Why? she wondered. It was just going to be another evening like last night, Matt and Chris trading details about their lives, pretty boring. Actually, Matt’s life details were boring, but she was interested in learning more about Chris. And that smile. Oh brother! Lynn slapped herself on the head—she’s straight, she’s straight, shes straight, she repeated to herself. She drove into the bar parking lot and saw all the other band members’ vehicles in the lot. Parking quickly, she jogged to the door.
“You’re late!” Nikki called from the stage. “You’re never late! What’s the matter?” Nikki was the lead guitarist and the other vocalist in the band. Tall, thin, much too confident, and bisexual, Nikki did not appeal sexually to Lynn at all. Lynn could never get involved with a bisexual. The concept was totally repellent to her. She and Nikki flirted while playing on stage, but that was as far as it went, and Lynn had made that clear to Nikki the first time they played together.
“Nothing is the matter, I just lost track of time, that’s all,” Lynn answered as she climbed the stairs to the stage. Strapping a guitar on, she said hello to the rest of the members, and went right to work. “Okay, let’s start with the usual songs, and we also have that special request that I faxed to you guys yesterday.” And with that said, the practice began.
Chris and Matt stared at each other. Two hours of making small talk was wearing on them. Chris felt like she knew everything that she needed to know about Matt. She was bored, she was tired, and she wished Lynn was there. Lynn would have broken the silence with some witty comment or sarcastic remark.
“We need to get out of here.” Matt stood suddenly.
“Yes, we definitely need to get out of here,” Chris agreed as she pushed out her chair. “Any place in particular?”
“No—any place that you usually hang out?”
“I actually never just hang out. My life for the past four years has been eat, study, sleep, eat, study, sleep.”
“Well, the place that I usually hang out is a gay bar, and I don’t think that you would feel comfortable there, so…”
“Is that where Lynn plays?”
“Yeah, the Rainbow Room.”
“Let’s go there. I don’t think that I’ll feel too uncomfortable.”
Matt tried to hide the shock he felt. Most straight people wouldn’t go near a gay bar. Chris must really have an open mind. He was glad that he had found her.
“Okay, let’s go!” Matt grabbed his wallet and keys and ushered Chris out the door.
Chris was a little scared. Had she actually suggested that they go to a gay bar? Was she crazy? Yesterday, she didn’t even know that there was a gay bar in the area, and now tonight she was hanging out there? Act cool, she told herself, you don’t know what you are going to see, just act cool.
Matt pulled his El Camino into the parking lot and parked right next to Lynn’s truck. He prepared himself to leave the bar at the first sign of uneasiness from Chris. Matt swung the door of the bar open and held it for Chris. It took a while for their eyes to adjust to the dim light. There were only about a dozen people there, half of them sitting at the bar, the other half dispersed throughout the seating area.
“What do you want to drink?” Matt shouted over the music.
“A beer is fine,” Chris shouted back.
“Nancy! Two beers!” Matt called to the bartender and motioned for Chris to follow him. Matt pulled out a chair at one of the tables at the back of the seating area and took a seat.
Chris sat down and looked around. It looked like a regular bar, with regular people, except for the two women kissing at a table at the far end. She tried not to stare. She glanced toward the front of the bar and was taken aback to discover that the voice she was hearing was Lynn’s. Again, she tried not to stare. The music stopped, Lynn said something to the drummer, and the music started again. What did they need practice for? They sounded great!
“This band is really good. Lynn has a great voice!” she said to Matt as the bartender set the beers on the table.
Matt took a swig from the bottle and shouted, “Yeah, I know!” Just then the music stopped and there was silence. Matt stood up and yelled, “Encore! encore!” and clapped loudly. Lynn swung around to find where the voice had come from and smiled.
“You damn hecklers!” she yelled back. Grabbing her beer and a towel, she jumped down from the stage and strode across the room.
“Hey, what are you guys doing here?” Lynn asked. “Are you two sick of each other already? How is your marriage ever going to last?” She laughed, wiped her face off with the towel, and took a gulp of beer.
“You’re really good!” Chris said.
“I’ve been told that several times,” Lynn answered with a teasing smile. Then glancing at Matt, she straightened her face. “Sorry.” Turning to Chris, she said, “Thank you.”
“Hey, are we done or what!” someone yelled from the stage.
“No, we still need to rehearse that special request!” Lynn yelled back- Turning around, she said, “See you guys later,” and strode back to the stage.
Chris felt like she was blushing. Her tongue felt tied when Lynn made those teasing comments. She definitely needed to practice her comebacks. Finishing her beer, she watched Lynn on the stage. The band was laughing and Lynn was trying to convince them to do something. Finally, they all went to their instruments and slowly began picking at a tune. A few moments later they were playing the song as if they had known it all their lives.
Chris smiled as she recognized the song “Close to You” by the Carpenters. Obviously not a regular song heard in this type of establishment. Obviously, by the smirks on the band members’ faces, not a regular song of the band. She wondered what the occasion was.
She hadn’t even noticed Matt was gone until he set a new bottle in front of her and sat back down.
“This place is really packed on the nights that they sing. Thursdays aren’t as bad as Fridays and Saturdays.”
“They play on Thursdays? Bands don’t usually play on Thursdays, do they?”
“No, not usually, but for some reason a lot of people here come out on Thursdays. I guess people figure they don’t get much work done on Friday anyway, so why not be tired or hungover.”
Chris nodded. “But doesn’t Lynn work on Friday mornings? How does she work half the night, and then go to work again so early in the morning?”
“Sometimes she just doesn’t go to sleep at all. Then she crashes when she gets off work Friday afternoon, and sleeps until she plays on Friday night.”
Matt and Chris sat and talked about an hour more, until Lynn was finished with her practice, then they all headed home. Once in the car, Matt asked, “So, what did you think of the bar? Was i
t like you imagined?”
“No, I thought it would be like a big orgy!” she answered sarcastically. Rethinking her answer she began again, “Actually, I don’t know what I thought it would be like, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.”
“That’s good,” Matt said as he yawned. “I didn’t realize how tired I was. I hope I didn’t keep you out too late.”
“Well, it is a school night, but my class doesn’t start until nine, so I should be okay. If I fall asleep in class, I’ll just blame it on my fiance keeping me out too late.” Chris smiled.
Matt pulled in front of the house. Lynn pulled in behind him. Chris got out of his vehicle and walked toward hers.
“See you tomorrow night about five-thirty?” Matt called.
Chris nodded. She would make it an early night, because she had a test on Thursday.
“See you then!” Lynn called out as she climbed out of the truck and followed Matt to the door.
Lynn had barely locked the front door when there was a knock. Lynn looked through the peephole to find Chris standing there.
“Did you forget something?” Lynn asked as she opened the door.
“No… do you mind if I use the bathroom?” Chris asked shyly.
“No problem.” Lynn stepped back as Chris quickly passed and disappeared behind a closed door.
Chris came back into the living room after using the facilities. “Well, I’m going to get going.”
Lynn turned around from sitting on the couch and looked at Chris. “Are you okay? Don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like crap!”
“Yeah, all of a sudden I’m not feeling so hot,” Chris answered while rubbing her stomach.
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive home? You’re welcome to stay here for the night,”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’d kind of like to get home,” Chris said as she headed to the door, stopping once to balance herself.
Lynn stood and started toward the door. “Chris, how much did you have to drink tonight?”
“Not enough to feel like this!” she replied.
“Let me take you home, Chris. You have a forty-five-minute drive ahead of you.”
“No, no. I’ll need my car in the morning and so will you,” Chris replied.
“Okay then, I’ll follow you home. Let me tell Matt and I’ll just grab my keys.”
“Lynn, I don’t think that’s necessary…” Then feeling her stomach cramp again, she agreed.
Lynn walked to Matt’s door, called out her plans, grabbed her keys, and followed Chris out the door. Chris slid in her car seat, rolled down the window, and gave Lynn directions, just in case they got separated. Lynn climbed into her truck and pulled out in back of her.
Chris tried to focus on the road ahead instead of on the pains shooting through her stomach. Leaning toward the open window, she tried to cool her flushed face. She hadn’t felt this sick in a long time. Maybe it was something she ate. She reviewed everything she consumed that evening and came to the conclusion that she hadn’t eaten anything even related to seafood. And if the food had been spoiled, wouldn’t Lynn and Matt be feeling this way, too? Chris ran her hand over her face, trying hard to concentrate on getting home quickly. It had been really nice of Lynn to see her home. Kind of something an older sister might do, she thought. “Thank goodness,” she said out loud as she reached her apartment complex and coasted into her assigned space.
Lynn pulled into a parking space next to Chris. Walking around to Chris’s vehicle, she opened the driver’s-side door.
“How are you feeling?” Lynn inquired.
“Like the world is spinning. I thought I’d never make it home.”
Lynn helped Chris up the stairs to her apartment, where Chris immediately excused herself and made her way to the bathroom. Lynn wandered around the living room taking in the new surroundings. She picked up a picture that she decided must have been Chris’s mom and dad, then set it back down as she heard footsteps from down the hall. Chris made her way to a chair and plopped down. Her face was white as a sheet.
“Come on, you need to get to bed,” Lynn said as she helped Chris out of the chair, down the hall, and into her bedroom.
“Do you have any kind of medicine for an upset stomach?” Lynn asked as she turned down the bed.
Chris shook her head. “I just don’t get sick that often,” she explained.
“You know, it’s probably just nerves,” Lynn suggested.
“Nerves?” Chris asked for clarification.
“Think about it. In the past two days you’ve been forced into a situation where you’ve had to expose yourself and many intimate details of your life. Not to mention your visit to the bar tonight.”
“Maybe,” Chris replied as she collapsed onto her bed.
“You get into bed, I’ll be right back.” Lynn walked out of the apartment and down to her truck, where she pulled a small duffel bag from behind the seat. Unzipping it, she proceeded to look through its contents while climbing back up the stairs. By the time she reached Chris’ bedroom she had located what she had been searching for.
“Here we go!” Lynn said, showing the bottle of medicine to the woman now lying in bed.
“You keep that in your truck?” Chris asked suspiciously.
“Well, along with a few other things.” Lynn pointed to the bag she had placed on the bed. “Many mornings, waking up who knows where, I’ve been pretty thankful for this bag,” Lynn said, showing Chris the contents. “See? Toothbrush, mouthwash, hairbrush, deodorant… Well, you get the idea.”
“And you felt it necessary to include this medicine?”
“Well, I hate to admit it, but sometimes the reason I wake up in those places is the result of drinking too much,” Lynn said as she wandered down the hall to the kitchen.
Chris could hear drawers being opened and closed and wasn’t surprised when Lynn returned with a spoon.
“I can’t say that it tastes great, but it seems to do the job,” Lynn said as she poured the liquid into the spoon and offered it to Chris.
Chris took the spoon and swallowed the medicine. “Yuk!”
Lynn shrugged. “Sorry.”
Chris lay back on her pillow and closed her eyes. “Thanks, doc!”
“No problem. I’m going to crash on your couch just in case you need something in the middle of the night.”
“You don’t have to do that. You have to be at work in a few hours.”
Lynn smiled and pulled out a travel alarm clock from her bag. “See? Quite a handy little bag, huh?”
Chris smiled.
Lynn switched off the light and turned to leave the room but was called back,
“Lynn?”
“Yes?”
“Oh, never mind, it’s silly.”
Lynn smiled, knowing exactly what she was asking. She too wanted the same exact thing when she was ill. Lynn climbed up on the bed next to her and softly stroked her hair. “It’s not silly.”
Lighdy rubbing Chris’s back, Lynn was reminded of Susan. She would always do this when Lynn had been crippled by a migraine. The memories rushed through her mind. A warm feeling overwhelmed her body. The feeling of someone holding her, loving her, trying to make the pain subside. Lynn felt a tear roll down her cheek. She feared she would never experience that again.
Chapter Five
Lynn’s alarm rang, jolting her awake. It took a minute for her to remember where she was. Stretching after being curled up on the sofa for the last few hours, she stood and tiptoed down the hall to check on Chris. Finding her sound asleep, she returned to the living room, where she pulled on her shoes and tied the laces.
Wanting to leave some kind of note, Lynn reviewed the contents of the room around her for a pen and a piece of paper. She walked into the kitchen and still found nothing. Lynn eyed the backpack sitting on a living room chair. Should she dare to open it? Wouldn’t that be like searching through someone’s purse? She convinced herself that it would be okay as long as she only looked for t
he items needed.
She unzipped the main zipper: books, note cards, appointment book, notebook. She tore out a blank sheet from the notebook and proceeded with her search for a pen. Unzipping a pocket from inside the pack, she inserted her hand and pulled out a handful of objects. Lynn smiled at her catch. Mechanical pencil, eraser, gum, lipstick. Taking the cap off the container, she screwed the base exposing the color. Lynn tried to imagine Chris’s lips covered with this dark, moist substance. A shiver ran down her body just thinking about it. Taking her eyes off the lipstick just for a moment, she noticed something else in the pile to snap her back to reality. Condoms. Admonishing herself for her previous thought, she crammed all of the items except the pencil back into the pocket.
Lynn left a brief note, returned the pencil to its place, and zipped the pack closed. Serves me right for looking in someone’s personal belongings, she told herself. Grabbing her keys she walked softly to the door, turned the lock on the doorknob, and closed it behind her.
“Hey, it’s me.” Lynn phoned Matt on her eight o’clock break.
“Hey! I didn’t hear you come home last night.”
“I didn’t. I stayed at Chris’s place.”
Lynn heard nothing but silence on the other end of the line. “She was sick, Matt. I would have felt bad for just leaving.”
“Uh-huh.” Matt sounded unconvinced.
“Whatever. Can I have Chris’s phone number, please? I want to see how she’s feeling,”
“Lynn… aren’t you getting a little too involved here?”
“Dang it, Matt! Just give me the number, would you?”
Lynn got the number and dialed.
“Hello?” the voice on the other end said sleepily.
“Hi Chris, this is Lynn. I hope I didn’t wake you. I just wanted to see how you are feeling.”
“I’m feeling much better. I think it was like you said, just nerves.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. I’ll see you tonight, then?”
“Five-thirty. And Lynn… thanks for last night.”
Lynn smiled as she hung up the receiver. She had to admit that she had actually heard those words quite often over the last year, but in an entirely different context. She leaned her elbows on the counter and imagined Chris lying in her bed with just a sheet covering her body, her tousled head of hair covering the soft pillow, a soft smile on her lips… Suddenly Lynn’s thoughts snapped back to the condoms she had discovered. Damn, the way a mind can bring you back to reality in a matter of seconds!