by Beth Moore
Lynn continued, “Tell me Chris, of all those ‘ten or more’ men that you’ve slept with, how many have you actually loved?”
Chris lowered her eyes and played with the fringe on the afghan she was holding while she spoke. “Actually… none of them. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. You know the old saying, ‘The right one just hasn’t come along’? Well, that’s me, I’m the poster child for that saying.” Chris raised her eyes to meet Lynn’s. “So, you said that you’ve had true intimacy, that must be that you’ve been in love?”
Lynn felt the tears in her eyes. She admonished herself for starting along this subject. Pushing back the tears, she replied, “Yeah, I was in love, but I guess she wasn’t.”
“Susan?” Chris softly asked.
Lynn gave a heavy sigh, and a tear escaped down her cheek. She nodded and admitted, “Susan.”
Chris heard the hurt in Lynn’s voice. “I’m sorry, if you don’t want to talk about it…”
“We were together eight years. I found her in bed with one of her students. From what my supposed friends told me, it wasn’t her first affair.” Lynn’s voice quivered. “It’s been a year, but every time I think about it, it’s like it’s happening all over again.”
“So the saying, ‘Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all’…”
“Must have been said by a very masochistic person.” Lynn smiled as another tear made its way down her face.
Wiping the tear away, Lynn looked at Chris through the dim light “So, now that you know the reason why I’ve slept with so many women, tell me why you can’t seem to find the right guy. Standards too high?”
“I don’t know. It’s just never felt right. I mean, I’m not looking to hear bells or anything, I’ve just never had that emotional connection with any of them.” Chris paused and began again, “You don’t know how many times I’ve said to myself, ‘Maybe if you just sleep with him’… do you know what I mean?”
Lynn nodded and smiled. “And then you wake up, the dreaded morning after, and think, What have I done?”
“Exactly. So I guess you have the same problems—”
“Whether you like to sleep with men or with women,” Lynn finished Chris’s sentence.
“So tell me, what does a woman look for in another woman?” Chris asked.
“Well, I can’t answer for all women, that would be like asking a man the same question. Each woman looks for something different,” Lynn replied.
“Most men look for big boobs.” Chris laughed. “How about you?”
Lynn laughed and shook her head no. “More than a mouthful’s a waste.” Lynn’s eyes strayed to examine Chris’s breasts. When she raised her eyes, she found that she had been caught.
Chris looked down to her chest, shook her head, and smiled.
“Just barely a mouthful.” Her eyes lowered to review Lynn’s breasts. “Definitely more than a mouthful there!”
Lynn felt her face turn red. Was Chris flirting with her?
Chris began again. “Okay, so what do you look for?”
“I think the first thing I look at is the eyes. The eyes tell you a lot about a person.”
“Oh, and what do you see in my eyes, Madam Fortune Teller?” Chris kidded.
Lynn looked Chris straight in the eye for a moment, before giving a serious answer. “Well, the first thing I saw when I met you was a warm, caring nature.” Lynn paused. “But now I would have to add that I see someone who likes to portray herself as a loner but longs for companionship.”
Chris looked at Lynn, fear developing in her eyes.
“And now, I see fear, fear that you may have let me see a little bit too much into your psyche.” Lynn gave Chris a half-smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.”
“Do you want to know what I see in your eyes?” Chris asked.
Lynn shrugged. Chris walked over and sat next to Lynn on the couch.
Looking straight into Lynn’s eyes, Chris told her, “I see that you’re really not who you portray yourself to be, either,”
Lynn swallowed hard. Did Chris know who she really was?
Lynn breathed a sigh of relief as Chris explained. “You portray yourself as a hard, tough woman. But actually”—-Chris placed her hand on Lynn’s heart—”there’s a heart of gold in there.”
They both smiled, and after a moment of silence, Chris sank back against the couch next to Lynn.
“So, have you ever been with a man?” Chris asked with a slight sense of uneasiness.
“No, never really wanted to,” Lynn answered. “Have you ever been with a woman?”
Chris felt herself blushing. “I’d never really thought much about two women… until I met you.”
Lynn laughed quietly. “You mean that I’m your first encounter with a lesbian?”
“No,” Chris explained, “there’s a couple in the group that I go camping with every once in a while.”
“But you never thought about being with a woman until now?” Lynn questioned.
Chris shook her head, then looked at Lynn. “It’s getting late. I think that we’d better get some sleep. Big competition in the morning, you know.” She reached out and hugged Lynn. “Well, if my opinion matters at all, I think Susan blew it big-time. Definitely, her loss.”
Lynn, frightened by the feeling of Chris being only inches away, broke away and smiled. “Thanks.” Then trying to cover for her uneasiness, Lynn changed her smile into a mischievous one. “Now, go get some sleep so you don’t have any excuses when I whip your butt at the picnic!”
Chris got up and walked down the hall. Lynn smiled when the last thing she heard from Chris before she heard the bedroom door close, was a devilish, “You wish!”
Chapter Eight
Chris felt the soft lips slowly climbing up her stomach, then the wetness of the tongue as it encircled her nipple. Teeth biting, teasing, then the soft sucking of her nipple. The sensation moved to the other nipple until she could stand it no longer. She brought the lips to hers, hungrily exploring the mouth on hers with her own tongue. The lips gently pulled away, she slowly raised her eyes from the lips that just left hers, to reveal the face of her lover…
Chris sat straight up. The face that was revealed was… Lynn’s! It was only a dream, it was only a dream, she repeated to herself as she paced the room. If it was only a dream, then why was she so upset? Could it be the heat she felt within her body? Could it be the way her nipples were hard and sore? Could it be the moisture that she could feel between her legs? She would not have time for answers as she heard the knock on the bedroom door. She looked at the clock—it was nine a.m.
Matt’s voice came from the other side of the door. “Hey, you up in there?”
Chris opened the door. “Yeah, I’ll jump in the shower and be ready in fifteen.”
“God, you look as bad as Lynn. What time did you guys get to bed last night?”
“Thanks a lot. I just need a little time to wake up is all,” Chris replied, knowing that she dare not tell him she had only had four hours of sleep. “What’s for breakfast?”
“The club has a breakfast buffet. Can you wait an hour to eat?” Matt asked, following her like a puppy into the bedroom while she grabbed some clothes.
“No problem, now get out of here!” Chris said as she pushed him from the room and closed the door behind him. The truth was that she wasn’t feeling hungry at all. Her stomach was upset with confusion.
“Hey, can I come in?” Lynn knocked on the door. Receiving no reply, she guessed that Chris was still in the shower. She edged the door open. “I’m coming in!”
“Okay!” Chris yelled from the bathroom.
Lynn glanced at the direction of the bathroom, the door ajar to let the steam out. She felt flushed, knowing that on the other side of the door Chris was probably nude. Just then, Chris opened the door wider. Lynn saw that she was not nude, but clad in a towel. Walking over to the dresser, Lynn proceeded to change.
Looking in the mirro
r, Chris caught herself concentrating on what was going on behind her. She saw Lynn drop her towel and pull on her underwear. Then, Lynn turned and Chris could see Lynn’s breasts as she pulled on her sports bra. Embarrassed for watching, Chris pushed the bathroom door closed behind her. She turned on the hair dryer to camouflage the moment she was taking to understand her confusion. Leaning on the counter, she told herself that she was under too much stress. That had to be the problem, way too much stress.
They arrived at the picnic just in time to hear the club president’s annual speech. Walking through the crowd, they located Matt’s parents at the sign-up table.
“Matt! It’s about time you guys got here!” Charles said as he put his arm around his son. “Margaret, you remember my son, Matt,” Charles said to the woman behind the table, who nodded. “And this is his fiancee, Chris, and of course our niece, Lynn.”
Chris looked at Matt with confusion. Matt whispered, “She has to be a member of the family to compete.”
“Isn’t that cheating?” Chris whispered back.
“Not really,” Matt explained, pointing first at a muscular young man to the right, and another to the left. “See him? He’s supposedly a cousin. And he’s supposedly an illegitimate son.”
“Supposedly?” Chris asked.
Matt smiled and shrugged. “Yeah, but we know differently. My dad says ‘All’s fair in love and war.’”
Chris laughed and thought, when first we practice to deceive…
Lynn nudged Matt. “Hey, I need food!”
“Okay, okay. Dad, we’re going to grab some breakfast.”
“Don’t eat too much, we’re on for the three-legged race in forty-five minutes,” Charles responded with excitement. “First one is the couples race, that’s Matt and Chris, and you and me, Lynn.”
Matt whispered in Chris’s ear, “My mom doesn’t participate, she gets overheated really easy.”
Charles continued, “Then the second race is for men only, and the third, for women only.” He paused to look at Chris and Lynn. “You’re up for two in a row, right?”
The women smiled and nodded, as if they had a choice. Suddenly Chris felt that twinge again. She was going to have to run the three-legged race with Lynn. She was going to have to get over this feeling.
Lynn was having the same thought. Great. Tied together, arms around each other, bodies moving together. She was having hot flashes just thinking about it.
“Just juice for me,” Lynn said to the buffet attendant, who handed her a glass of orange juice.
“Yeah, me too,” Chris said, and she reached for the glass.
“What’s wrong with you guys? I thought that you were starving?” Matt exclaimed as he reached for his third croissant.
Lynn shrugged, trying to come up with an explanation for her sudden change of heart.
Chris looked at her curiously, then answered, “I don’t want to be running on a full stomach.”
“Yeah, that’s what it is.” Lynn followed her lead.
The three were lounging at a table after finishing what breakfast they had when Charles approached the table.
“Come on, come on! It’s time for the first race!” he called out.
The group jogged over to the event. After participating in this event last year with Matt, Lynn knew the drill and proceeded to strap her and Charles’s legs together. She laughed at the other couple; they were having difficulty just getting their legs joined together. She smiled as she remembered that Matt, as athletic as he looked, was a little uncoordinated. The race began, and Charles and Lynn quickly left the other couple behind. Although they ran a good race, neither couple came in first, second, or third. The men’s race was next, Charles and Matt finishing sixth out of a group often. The next race was to start in five minutes.
Chris paced as the women couples began buckling the straps. Lynn was feeling just as uneasy.
“Come on, girls! You’re our last hope!” Charles said as he pulled the two together and began fastening the straps. Lynn, being taller, threw her arm around Chris’s shoulder as Chris put her arm around Lynn’s waist.
“You can do it!” Charles called as he backed away from the starting line.
Lynn looked down at Chris, who smiled up at her. “You know, we probably could win, if we really try.”
The two walked a few steps, discussing their strategy, then backed up to the starting line. They prepared for the starting gun. “Pow!” The gun rang out. The two got a good start and continued down the grassy area. They were moving as one, both of their competitiveness showing on their faces. The women around them dropped like flies, except for one couple who ran neck and neck with them.
“We’ve got to lose them!” Chris shouted. They sped up, and passed the finish line one step ahead of the opposing team. They were so elated, they lost their footing, immediately falling on top of each other. Falling, laughing, then all of a sudden realizing how close they were, they stopped. Breathing heavily, Lynn reached out to pick out the grass that had lodged itself in Chris’s hair. Chris looked up into Lynn’s eyes and suddenly time seemed to stop. For a moment it was just the two of them, locked in each other’s eyes,
“Hey! I knew you guys could do it!” Charles broke into their world. He leaned down and removed the straps.
“Way to go, guys!” Matt chimed in. He reached out to help Chris up. Then turning, Chris reached her hand out to Lynn, who was still sitting on the grass. Lynn accepted and leapt to her feet.
“Well, I had to carry her half the way, but we did it!” Lynn teased.
Chris pushed Lynn’s shoulder. “Ha! I was dragging your butt!” she joked back. “So what’s next?” Chris asked.
“Four-man volleyball!” Charles said, looking at his watch. “We have half an hour. Shall we go take a look at the competition?”
The four wandered over to the court and sat down on the grass. Chris eyed the table of water bottles across the way. “Want some water?” she asked Lynn. Lynn nodded.
Matt, tired of waiting for the same question to be posed to him, said, “Yes, I would like some too, how ‘bout you, Dad?”
Charles, who was busy watching the action on the court, did not respond. Matt nodded to Chris to grab an extra bottle. The group sipped their water and sat on the sidelines until the game in play ended. The winners would play the next team, the McKinley family.
“Andersons and McKinleys,” their game was announced, and the four scrambled onto the court. There was a slow start, their team members uncertain of their coverage areas. After the first few minutes, their game started clicking. The opposing team fell apart. The game ended, the score 15-6. Charles was elated and showed it
by hugging each of his team members. Their next game was to start immediately.
“Is there anything that you’re bad at?” Chris asked Lynn while they waited for the other team to take the court.
“I haven’t had any complaints!” Lynn teased.
Matt, overhearing Chris’s question, jumped in. “It’s sickening, isn’t it? She can’t even let me look good in front of my dad!”
“Is it my fault that you arrange flowers better than you hit a volleyball?” Lynn kidded.
The team took their positions as the opposing team served. The ball was hit directly to Chris, who bumped it to Lynn. Lynn took it high and spiked it over the net, the ball hitting hard against the chest of a member of the opposing team. This style of play continued for the rest of the game. After the tenth point, the other team basically gave up. The four had prevailed again, Chris hitting the winning point.
Lynn approached her with a high five. “Now, is there anything that you’re bad at?”
“I haven’t had any complaints,” Chris said with a teasing smile and gave Lynn a wink.
Matt caught the wink out of the corner of his eye. He was glad to see the two women in his life getting along so well.
After the third victory, Charles called the group over and admitted, “I’m sorry guys, I can’t play another o
ne. I’m just not in the shape that I used to be.”
“That’s okay, Charles, I’m pretty worn out, too,” Lynn said as she patted him on the back.
“Come on guys, we can’t quit now! I’ll go see if we can play with only three players.” Matt jogged over to the judges’ table and came back. “They said it was okay.”
Charles nodded, went over to the sideline, and sat on the grass with Marie, who had finally decided to join them.
“You know, Matt, I don’t think that we should continue. It may look to your dad as if we didn’t really need him,” Chris suggested.
Lynn followed Chris’s lead. “I agree, Matt, you could really score some points if we decided we couldn’t do it without him.”
Matt shook his head. “No. I want to show him that we can do it.” He motioned for the opposing team to take their positions.
But Chris and Lynn had other plans, and slowly but surely, they intentionally missed enough shots to lose the game. Matt hadn’t noticed their less than average play. The threesome walked to the sidelines after admitting defeat.
“I guess we just couldn’t pull it off without you, Charles,” Chris admitted.
Charles shrugged. “Well, it’s tough without a fourth player.”
Marie smiled and winked at both women, who returned the wink. It would be their little secret.
“You had some good moves out there for such a little thing!” Charles said as he put his arm around Chris, then looked over at Matt. “Matt, she’s definitely a keeper!”
“I think so!” Matt agreed, happy to be in favor with his dad.
“Me, too,” Lynn mumbled under her breath. Chris was just within hearing range of that comment, but chose to keep the comment all to herself.
The group sat on a blanket and proceeded to watch the next few games. At four o’clock, Lynn’s stomach began to rumble. Realizing that she hadn’t really eaten anything all day, she suggested that they return to the buffet area, knowing that it was still fully stocked. Charles stood and helped Marie up. Matt and Chris stood and joined hands. Lynn followed behind, feeling a sudden twinge of jealousy. She wondered what it would be like to hold Chris’s soft hand in hers.