by Mia Brown
My stomach sank. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it happen, but it wasn’t an option.
“Or you could come back,” my mom said.
I was suddenly furious. “Is this a ploy to get me back home?” I asked. “You’re trying to buy me out?”
“Honestly, Vanessa. You’re so dramatic.”
“No, Mom. I don’t care about having to pay for my freedom.”
“Don’t exaggerate.”
“I’m not. I’m not coming back home. I’m staying here, doing what I love.”
My mom laughed sarcastically. “Working on a farm? Honey, I didn’t raise you to be a milkmaid. You have prospects here. A degree. You can make something of yourself.”
“You mean you can make something of me. I don’t want that life, Mom. I told you. I want to do my own thing, and I found something I’m passionate about.”
My mom snorted. “I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult. This little rebellious stage will pass, and then where will you be?”
I closed my eyes. She wasn’t going to stop. The only way to put an end to this was if I did it.
“I didn’t cut you off. I didn’t run away. I didn’t do any of those things, even though I thought about it. But if you’re going to be like this, I might. Why won’t you let me live my life?”
“Because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing,” my mom cried out.
Something inside me snapped.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I said. “I know exactly what I’m doing. And now, I’m walking away.”
I hung up the phone. Alana was staring at me.
“Sorry,” I said. I had a lump in my throat. I wanted to cry. I had always wanted to break away and do my own thing, but it was so hard to do it. No matter how much of a bitch she was, my mom was still my mom. And I had just lost her.
“You know, I’m sure we can sort it out,” Alana said. “It sucks about your family, and I’m sorry about that, but I can help with money.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Alana taped up the box she’d closed. “Come work at the bank. We need someone, and it will be a bit of cash for you to pay your student loans. You have a home here, and you can help out where you have a chance. I did.”
Work? In Odessa? It sounded great.
“It’s only entry-level, but it’s a start,” Alana said.
I nodded. It was a start, and it was in a place that I had come to love.
“Thank you,” I said to her. “Everyone here has helped me out whenever I’ve gotten stuck. It means so much to me.”
Alana leaned over and gave me a hug.
“We’ll figure it out, together. That’s what family does.”
I nodded. Family. I had more family here than I’d ever had before, with my real parents.
“Everything okay?” Ace asked, walking into the room.
Alana nodded. “We’re making progress,” she said, looking at the boxes.
I sighed. We were making progress in some ways. I felt like we were going backward in others.
“What’s up?” Ace asked me. He could tell that I wasn’t in the best mood. “Is this getting to you?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s my mom,” I said. “She’s making me pay my student loans because I don’t want to go home. Ever.”
“Ever?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
I nodded. “I don’t know how to explain it. Anyway, I think Alana and I have figured something out.”
Ace looked at Alana who nodded.
“I want her to try for a job at the bank. Something like what I do.”
Ace sat down on the bed. “A permanent job?” he asked.
I nodded.
“So, you’re staying for good?”
“If I can,” I said. “I’d like to.”
Ace grinned, suddenly. “If you’re staying, it will all work out,” he said. He got up and walked to me, kissing me full on the mouth.
“Just like that?” I asked.
“Just like that,” he said. “It’s all that matters.”
He smiled at me before he left the room, and Alana and I were left alone. I glanced at here. She smiled.
“I’m so happy for the two of you,” she said.
I thanked her. I wished I could be as happy for us as she was. I didn’t know how to be because I didn’t know where we stood. I had no idea what was happening between Ace and me, and I was starting to feel like it might not go anywhere. We kissed; we slept together; we worked side by side. But nothing was ever said, and I was starting to wonder if it would go any further than this.
I wanted it to. I wanted to be with Ace in the true sense of the word. But I wasn’t sure it was what he wanted. He’d never been a one-woman man, as far as I could tell. I didn’t know if he was planning on starting now.
And if he decided that he didn’t want this, we had to stop. We had to stop pretending like this was going somewhere. I couldn’t act like we were a couple but never be one. I had to know for sure. If we didn’t go anywhere soon, I would have to ask.
And if I asked and it was a no, I would be devastated. But I’d rather know than be hanging in the middle like this and never going anywhere.
One thing I had taken from my life at home, the transition to my life here, and the future I wanted was that I wanted it to go somewhere. I wanted to keep moving forward. And whatever Ace and I had going, it wasn’t moving forward. Not yet.
I had a bit of time. We didn’t have to be serious right away. But we had to go somewhere, soon, or I was calling it.
Thirty-One
Ace
On Tuesday morning, I was on my horse, and Lance rode next to me. We rode along the fence line, going through the fields systematically, checking the fences for weaknesses. The sun was warm on my back; the air was crisp and fresh; everything was right with the world.
And with Lance at my side again, it felt like the good old days.
“How are you fitting in?” I asked Lance when we rode to the next field.
“Alright, I think,” Lance said. “It’s different living here, as opposed to coming here every day like when we were kids. But the bunkhouse is fun. Those Mexicans can talk, my God.”
I laughed. “They’re a bunch of characters.”
I had grown up with them. Most of them had been working here for more than 10 years. It was like having extended family around: a bunch of crazy uncles.
“I was thinking,” I said. “We need a foreman on the ranch now that Mom’s gone. I’m stepping up and taking over most of what she did, so the position that I used to fill is open now.”
“It’s always good to have someone keep an eye on things,” Lance agreed.
“It is,” I said. “Which is why I was wondering if you’d like the job.”
Lance looked at me. “Really?”
I nodded. “If there’s anyone that knows how to handle the position, it’s you. We all know you have experience managing things. You didn’t get that job in California for nothing. And you grew up here. If anyone knows this ranch, it’s you. I’m sure you can pick up everything you don’t already know in a flash.”
Lance grinned, looking pleased with himself. “I’d love that,” he said. “I accept the offer.”
“Good,” I laughed. “Andrew is cool with it, too.”
We rode together in silence for a while.
“I’d like to upgrade the bunkhouse a little if that’s alright with you,” Lance spoke again. “I think if we make a few changes, we can make the place a lot nicer. It’s a semi-permanent living space for a lot of the workers. I think we need to arrange it accordingly.”
I thought about it. “I hear what you’re saying,” I said. “And I think it’s a good idea. I need to chat to Andrew about it, but I can’t see why it would be a problem.”
Lance had only been the foreman for five minutes, and he was already making plans to make things better. It was a good choice to appoint him. I’d known it would be. Lance knew this r
anch like the back of his hand. He had business-savvy, and he looked at the bigger picture. Those were all great characteristics. But the biggest thing of all—and it was the reason why I had suggested we hire him—was that Lance cared about the ranch. He saw it as his home, too. And if you were that invested in something, you made it work.
That was all we needed—someone that was as invested and as serious about the ranch as we were.
When we were done checking fences, I rode to the barn, handing my horse to one of the ranch hands there. I walked to the house to find Andrew. We had an appointment with our lawyer today.
I hated that we had to go. It was important, though. We had to take care of my mom’s will—but I didn’t want to revisit her death. Maybe I wasn’t dealing with it right, but it was easier for me to ignore it as much as I could and move on. Of course, it was already better than it had been before. Running away had been my resort in the past—but it still wasn’t healthy.
So, we would push through this.
Andrew came out of the room, ready to leave.
We walked to the truck and drove into town. I was nervous about going through it all.
“Mom always took care of us,” Andrew said. “Don’t be so worried. She would have done so, again.”
I nodded. It wasn’t what I was worried about, but Andrew was right. Mom had always taken care of us in one way or another, and her death didn’t change that. She’d been a businesswoman, savvy like I’d never seen before, and she had cared so much.
When we got the offices of Liebenberg & Moore, the secretary ushered us through. Sonya Liebenberg was expecting us. When we walked into the office, she smiled.
“It’s good to see you again,” she said. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Andrew and I both nodded, smiling tightly. We sat down, and Sonya produced a file.
“I’m sure you know the contents of her will, but I’ll go through it with you, anyway,” she said. And she had been right; we knew all of it. The ranch had been divided between us, equally, and we had to work together to keep it going. A couple of years ago—hell, a couple of months ago—I would have been upset that she’d arranged it that way, that I wouldn’t be able to leave. Now, I was happy about it.
“As for the financial assets, Jaclyn arranged that it be released the moment of her death, so the money is available now.”
“What money?” Andrew asked.
Sonya looked at us. “Oh, you don’t know?”
We shook our heads. She smiled and gave us each a piece of paper.
“Well, I guess she left a surprise for you, then.”
I read through the contents, my mind whirring to make sense of what I saw. My mom had put money away into a long-term investment. The interest it had produced had accumulated to half a million dollars.
And it was ours now.
Andrew looked at me when I glanced up at him.
“Do you see this?” he asked.
I nodded, still a little dazed. We were set for money. Everything had been handled. There was no debt, and there was more than enough money for everything we may ever need.
Andrew had been right; my mom had taken care of us. Again.
When we finished with the lawyer, we went to a coffee shop in town. We were both a little dazed and needed time to recover. We sat down at a table and ordered coffee.
“That’s a hell of a lot of money,” Andrew said when the waitress had gone. “I can’t believe it.”
“Mom had always been so good with money,” I said. “We should have expected something like this, but it caught me off guard.”
Andrew nodded. “There is so much we can do with it. But right now, I feel so relaxed. Everything is taken care of. We don’t have to worry.”
He was right. I felt relaxed, too. Everything was done. Later, we would sit down and decide what to do with the money. I wanted to make it more, not less—but right now, we were both calm and relaxed, walking around with the knowledge that everything was okay.
“What do you want to do next?” I asked Andrew. “Now that there’s a bit of cash.”
“I was thinking about that,” Andrew said. “You know, I’ve always wanted to look at horses. For breeding and training. I’ll see how it works with what we already have, but we can do something like that now. Maybe even consider a dude ranch at some point.”
“Open it up to the public?”
Andrew nodded. “It’s an idea. Maybe get some exposure, show tourists what ranch life is like.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “It seems a little invasive.”
“Not if we do it right. We can talk about it. I’m just throwing ideas around for expanding.”
I nodded. I liked the idea of expanding with horses rather than tourists.
“What about you?” Andrew asked. “What do you want to do?”
I thought about it for a moment. “I want to do something that will make our money work for us, to expand what Mom left behind. Maybe we can put some of it back into an investment account or buy shares of stocks or something. I want to let a portion of it accumulate all by itself and put the other part into assets.”
Andrew nodded. “I like your thinking. Let’s do for our kids what Mom did for us.”
I smiled. Andrew had never spoken about a future with children before. I was sure this had to do with Alana, that he’d been thinking a little longer term than usual.
“What are you going to do with Vanessa?” Andrew asked. He’d been thinking the same thing I’d just thought about Alana, apparently.
“What do you mean?” I asked. I hoped he wasn’t going to ask me something personal.
“She’s working here now, but it’s a temp job. What are you planning on doing when fall rolls around? Are you going to boot her out of the door or ask her to stay? And stay as what?”
I shook my head. I hadn’t thought about it all in depth. I knew I wanted her to stay. I didn’t like the thought of her being out of my life. But I didn’t know what I wanted her to be. I liked her, sure. I wanted her in my life. But I was scared to pursue love and to make her my own. It seemed permanent, and even though I was sure a future with her would be bliss, I feared permanent things.
Having something serious with someone meant it would hurt when I lost them, and I had already had so much pain in my life.
Of course, if I cut her loose now, I was sure it would already hurt like a bitch. I was pretty sure I was in too deep already.
“I’ll have to see when the time comes,” I said.
Andrew shook his head. “Don’t make the same mistake, Ace,” he said. “Don’t run away again.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
“You don’t have to physically leave to ditch everything you started.”
He was right, of course. He often was. And that pissed me off.
“Let’s go,” I said. Our coffee was gone, and I wanted to get back to the ranch. “We have work to do.”
Andrew got up, and we paid for our coffee before leaving. We headed back to the truck that was still parked on the other side of the road at the lawyer’s office. We walked past the bank, and a woman crossed the road in front of me. She wore an oversized jersey. In this heat, when everyone else was wearing T-shirts and shorts, she had to be mad.
Her hair was cut short, and she looked silly all dressed like that, but there was something familiar about her. I tried to place her, but she hurried into the bank, and I shrugged it off, getting into the truck with Andrew.
The chances of me running into someone I knew around Odessa was great. I’d grown up here, and despite being away for a few years, this was my home. Of course, someone looked familiar. Everyone looked familiar. It was just the clothes that she’d worn that drew my attention.
“There are some weird people around town,” I said to Andrew when we were in the truck.
Andrew chuckled. “Yeah, look at you, for instance.”
I punched him in the arm.
“Screw you, man,” I said,
and we both laughed as he pulled away from the curb.
Thirty-Two
Vanessa
I had an interview for the position at the bank Wednesday morning, and I was nervous. This wasn’t just any old job. This meant me being able to pay off my loans so I could stay in Odessa. I didn’t want to leave, but if I couldn’t get a job here, I would have to. I had to pay off those loans. My mom had been serious about it. Even if they did change their mind in the end, I wanted to make it happen.
It wasn’t only about taking care of myself. It was about showing my parents that I didn’t need them, that I could create a life for myself without their help, and I could make ends meet without their advice. My whole life my parents had kept me dependent on them, been in control of my finances and work, and I hadn’t been able to do anything about it. Now, I could do it myself.
I wanted to prove to them as much as myself that I was able to live my own life without their help.
So, this job was more important than any other position I’d had before.
Alana offered a blouse and a pair of pants from her wardrobe for me to wear and I was grateful that I had something I could wear on such short notice. Alana was a little taller than I was but the clothes fit alright, and I felt like I looked put together enough to make a good impression.
“Let me explain what the position is all about,” Mr. Stanley said. He was the man that would interview me, the man I would work for directly. Since the moment I’d shook his hand, I liked him. He was the homey, welcoming type: the type you wanted as the face of your bank, I imagined. “It’s an entry-level position,” he said. “You’re not going to earn enough money to get rich, but it’s a start, and there’s plenty of opportunity for growth if you work hard.”
“That’s all I need,” I said.
“I see here you have a reference from Alana. She’s one of our best. It’s good to have friends in the right places.”
I smiled. Alana had put in a good word for me, and apparently, it had worked. I was happy with an entry-level position. Anything that would get me where I needed to be, eventually. Anything that would allow me to stay in Odessa. I could work my hours and then head to the ranch where I could carry on with my chores there. I was happy on the ranch, with my friends, with Ace.