by Sarah Morgan
Penny walked back into the room with the radiographer just as Lara was bandaging the child’s hand to a splint so that the cannula wouldn’t be accidentally dislodged.
Christian glanced at the monitor. ‘Her sats are still below ninety-two per cent. She’s exhausted and she’s going to need IV antibiotics so I’m going to call paediatric ICU.’
‘PICU?’ Penny looked startled and followed him out of the room, clearly to glean more information on why he was so concerned.
Lara made the child more comfortable and explained what was happening to the mother.
The anaesthetist and the paediatrician arrived together, examined the child and transferred her to PICU.
Penny stared as they left the room with the child. ‘Mycoplasma pneumonia? She had all the signs of gastroenteritis.’
‘We won’t know for sure until the results come back but clinically, yes, I’d say that Lara made a good guess.’ Christian put the pen back into his pocket, his expression inscrutable. ‘Fran rang through. Amy’s father is in Reception. Can you go and talk to him, Lara? You’re good with anxious relatives.’
It was obvious that he intended to speak to Penny and Lara quickly melted from the room, only too eager to follow his suggestion.
She took Mr Wills up to PICU and then returned to Paediatric Resus. There was no sign of Penny and Christian was at the desk, writing up some notes.
‘I hope you directed her to the chapter on resuscitation of the sick child,’ Lara muttered as she slid into the seat next to him.
Christian sat back in his chair. ‘She didn’t realise the child was so seriously ill.’
‘I pointed it out.’
‘Yes.’ He gave a faint smile. ‘She told me. She’s very new to the ED. She hasn’t yet worked out the nurses usually know more than the doctors.’
‘I don’t mind inexperience, but she didn’t want to call you.’ She stopped talking as Penny walked up to them.
‘I had no idea that the child was so sick,’ she said humbly. ‘I just thought she was quiet because she had a stomach bug. What was it that made you suspect that the child was seriously ill? I mean, you just took one look at her and took her into Resus and asked for Christian.’
Lara thought about it. ‘I don’t know.’ Instinct? Experience? ‘When you’ve seen a few sick children, you know when to worry.’
Penny pulled a face. ‘I need to gain that instinct fast.’
‘Work alongside Lara,’ Christian suggested, rising to his feet in a fluid movement. ‘She has the best instincts of any nurse I’ve worked with. It’s a shame she’s going to Australia.’
Lara watched as he strode from the room. He was just complimenting her nursing skills, she told herself. Nothing else.
And it wasn’t a shame she was going to Australia.
It was the thing that was going to save her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
LARA lit the candles on the kitchen table and then blew them out again.
Too romantic.
Christian had made it all too clear that he wasn’t interested in anything other than friendship. Since the kiss, he’d become even more detached and distant. At work he was cool and professional and he treated her exactly the same way as he treated the other nurses. At home, he spoke to her as if she was a valued friend.
He gave her no encouragement, barely glanced in her direction when they were together, and it was clear to her that he wasn’t struggling with the situation in the same way that she was struggling.
Lara removed the plates from the cooker and stood for a moment, her mind drifting.
The kiss had obviously cured him of whatever attraction he’d felt.
Unfortunately it had had the opposite effect on her.
Lost in thought, Lara gave a start as she heard the sound of his key in the door and the plate slipped from her fingers.
‘Stupid, stupid, stupid,’ she muttered to herself as she stooped to pick up the broken pieces.
‘Don’t cut yourself.’ Christian’s deep voice came from the doorway and he walked towards her, a frown on his face. ‘Was the plate wet?’
‘No.’ She kept her head down, afraid that her feelings would show in her expression. ‘I just wasn’t holding it properly. Sorry. It was expensive. I’ll replace it.’
‘Why would you want to replace it? It’s only a plate.’ He shrugged his broad shoulders out of his thick coat. ‘It’s freezing out there. We’re going to have more snow. Are the girls asleep?’
‘Yes.’ She stood up, wrapped the broken pieces of plate and dropped them in the bin. ‘They stayed awake as long as possible, waiting for you, but you were later than we all planned.’
‘A group of teenagers drove into a lamppost half an hour before I was planning to leave. They weren’t wearing seat belts.’ Christian gave a rueful smile and poured himself a large whiskey. ‘Can I offer you a drink?’
So formal. It was as if they were total strangers who’d never experienced an incredible, explosive kiss. ‘No, thank you.’ She finished laying the table. ‘I’ll just serve dinner and then I’ll go to bed. I’m tired.’
Suddenly she wished she’d eaten with the children. It would have stopped her having to spend an uncomfortable evening with Christian.
‘Don’t just disappear.’ He sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and stretched his legs out in front of him. ‘You had a busy day.’
‘Yes. That woman with the fractured femur took a long time to sort out.’ She placed a dish of chicken in front of him. ‘I hope you like spicy food. It has quite a lot of chilli in it.’
‘I love spicy food. Are you all right?’ He frowned across at her as he served himself. ‘Usually by this point in the evening you’ve cracked at least ten jokes. Are you ill?’
‘No, not ill.’
In love.
The realisation struck her with the force of a tornado and she gave a soft gasp of shock. No. No. She couldn’t be in love. Not now. Not with Christian.
Wrong man. Wrong time of her life.
Oh, help…
‘Lara?’ His eyes were fixed on her face, his expression curiously intent. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘I’ve had a long day,’ she mumbled, passing him a bowl of fluffy rice. ‘Help yourself. It’s getting cold.’
‘You’re not eating?’
‘Yes. No. Just a small amount.’ She was too shocked to eat.
Love?
How had that happened? How could love just spring out of nowhere?
‘What’s wrong?’ His voice was unexpectedly gentle. ‘Are you missing your family?’
She gritted her teeth and wished he’d say something cutting and insensitive. Anything that might help her cope with the fact that she was in love with a man who wasn’t interested. ‘Yes, I miss them. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, we’ve always managed to get together at Christmas. This is the first year that we’ve been spread out.’
‘Tell me about your family Christmas. Did you have your own routines and traditions?’
Christmas. Routines and traditions.
It was as if the kiss had never happened. As if they’d never shared an amazing moment of intimacy.
Lara sat back, her plate untouched. ‘Well, traditionally Christmas Eve was spent squashing presents so hard that I almost broke them. Then I’d spend the whole night prising my brother’s eyes open just to see if he was really asleep or just pretending. Then I’d get up at some unearthly hour when it was still dark and wake the whole household. Mum and Dad never minded. They’d make themselves a really strong pot of coffee and snuggle up together with us while we opened our stockings. Then we ate these amazing cinnamon biscuits shaped like stars that Mum only ever made at Christmas.’
‘And how old were you then?’ His voice was amused. ‘Same age as Aggie?’
She pushed aside the sadness that threatened to swamp her. Suddenly she felt strangely vulnerable and she wished that her family wasn’t so far away. ‘Oh, I was at least twenty-four,’ s
he joked lightly. ‘I was describing last Christmas. So how about you? Tell me about your Christmas.’
‘Much more formal than yours.’ He helped himself to more chicken. ‘On Christmas Eve my parents would hold a dinner for friends and colleagues of my father.’
‘Colleagues?’
‘He was a lawyer. He spent a great deal of time networking.’
Lara pulled a face. ‘Christmas is for families.’
‘Ah, that’s where you’re wrong.’ He gave a mocking smile. ‘In my family, Christmas is just another business opportunity. Get people while they’re under the influence of champagne. But we did have a traditional lunch on Christmas Day.’
‘Hold on.’ Lara lifted a hand. ‘When did you open your stocking?’
He shrugged. ‘Whenever I liked. When I woke up.’
‘Your parents didn’t get angry if you woke them early?’
‘I never woke them at all.’ He finished the last of the chicken. ‘I opened the stocking on my own.’
She was silent for a moment. ‘That sounds lonely, Christian.’
‘It was my life. I was an only child. Why aren’t you eating?’
Lara glanced down at her plate and realised that it was still full. ‘I—I suppose I’m just not hungry.’
She was too shocked by the discovery that she was in love.
How could this have happened?
Her problem was how to love someone, not how not to love them.
She had absolutely no experience of this scenario. How was she supposed to handle it?
Would it just fade?
Would she eventually get on with her life and forget about him?
Or would she be in pain for ever?
* * *
‘This one! This one!’Aggie danced up and down next to a huge Christmas tree and Christian raised his eyebrows.
‘Aggie, that tree is enormous.’
‘I know. I’ve never seen a tree like it. This tree is my dream.’ Her eyes shone with excitement as she craned her neck to try and see the top. ‘It’s perfect.’
‘I agree.’ Lara stamped her feet to keep warm, her breath clouding the freezing air. Love faded in time, she told herself firmly, ignoring the dull ache in the centre of her chest. Australia would be the perfect distraction. ‘How about you, Chloe? What do you think?’
‘I—It’s nice.’ Chloe glanced anxiously towards her father. ‘Do you think it’s too big, Dad? We could pick a smaller one if you’d rather.’
Lara wondered why Chloe was always so anxious to please her father. Say you like this one, she urged silently as she glanced towards Christian. She wants it but she’s worried about you.
He looked at Chloe and then looked at the tree. ‘I think it’s a great tree,’ he said gruffly, and Lara smiled with relief.
He was a brilliant father. Whatever he thought, he had good instincts.
‘That’s decided, then.’ She huddled into her scarf. ‘Let’s get on with it before we all freeze. We’ll take the tree home, decorate it and I’ll warm some mince pies in the oven. I can’t believe how cold it is.’
‘Do you think it might snow?’Aggie danced on the spot and Christian smiled.
‘It doesn’t often snow in London.’
Lara glanced up at the sky. It was grey and ominous. ‘It could snow. It’s cold enough.’ And soon she’d be in Australia with her brother.
But the thought didn’t bring the same rush of excitement that it had before she’d fallen in love.
‘If it snows, we can make a snowman. Can we do the Rudolph Jive when we get home? And can you make us some of your amazing hot chocolate?’ Aggie slipped her hand into Lara’s and smiled up at her. ‘With piles of chocolate and marshmallows. Ple-e-e-ease?’
‘You want hot chocolate with mince pies? As long as you’re not sick. I hate sick.’
Aggie giggled and hopped from one leg to the other. ‘You can’t hate sick. You’re a nurse. Nurses are supposed to love sick.’
Lara shuddered dramatically. ‘Trust me, I hate sick.’
Aggie stopped jumping and studied her with a frown on her face. ‘You’re really weird.’ She hesitated and then smiled. ‘But you’re nice.’ She skipped off to talk to Chloe and Lara stared after Aggie, a lump in her throat.
You’re nice, too, she thought. And I’m going to miss you. Only she wasn’t supposed to think that. She wasn’t supposed to love Christian and she wasn’t supposed to love his children.
None of this was supposed to have happened.
Everything was going horribly wrong.
Why, oh, why had she ever suggested moving in and helping with the children?
Why had she been so arrogant as to think that she’d be immune to a man as gorgeous as Christian Blake?
Feeling something approaching despair, she glanced towards him, only to find him studying her, molten heat simmering in his blue eyes.
‘What? What’s wrong?’ Suddenly she didn’t feel cold anymore. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’ He hadn’t looked at her in that way since before the kiss.
He shook his head slowly. ‘I’m trying to work out how I can be violently attracted to a woman who can have a conversation about sick.’
His words took the breath from her body.
She’d assumed that he wasn’t interested anymore She’d assumed that the kiss had succeeded in killing off the chemistry for him.
But now it seemed as though he still felt the same way that she did.
Instinctively she glanced towards the children, but they were both busily examining the Christmas tree. ‘Are you violently attracted?’
‘Do you doubt it?’
She kept her eyes on the children. ‘I thought that you—you didn’t seem—You’ve been very distant.’
‘That was the idea. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to have worked.’ His voice was steady. ‘Keep talking about sick. With any luck I’ll see sense sooner rather than later.’
‘Seven-year-olds like talking about bodily functions.’ Lara tried to keep her voice light but it was impossible because her heart was bumping so hard against her chest.
The chemistry was as powerful as ever.
‘This wasn’t supposed to happen, Lara.’
‘No.’ Her voice was a breathless squeak. ‘It wasn’t. It hasn’t. I mean…nothing’s happened.’
His eyes dropped to her mouth. ‘The kiss was a mistake. A big mistake.’
‘I thought it hadn’t bothered you.’
‘Think again.’
She felt as though the breath had been punched from her lungs. ‘I thought we both decided that we were going to forget about it.’
His gaze lifted and a sardonic gleam appeared in his eyes. ‘This has proved to be the one occasion I regret the fact that I have an excellent memory. How about you? How’s your forgetting going?’
‘Funny you should bring that up.’ She dragged her eyes away from his and watched while Aggie and Chloe took a closer look at the Christmas tree. ‘Why is it that, when you’re trying to forget something, that something becomes the only thing you can think about?’
‘I don’t know. I’m pondering the same question.’
‘Perhaps we should try not forgetting it and then maybe we’d forget it.’
‘Lara…’ He closed his eyes and she whimpered.
‘I know, I know. I’m making no sense. This can’t be happening. I’ve never yet met a man who hasn’t driven me to screaming pitch within three dates, and we haven’t even been on one! It’s all your fault. Show me a flaw, quickly. Reveal something positively shocking.’
‘I didn’t want this Christmas tree.’ The first flakes of snow settled on his dark hair. With his cool, blue eyes and his dark jaw he looked impossibly handsome. ‘Is that shocking?’
‘No, it’s sensible. The tree is far too big for your house. Actually, it’s too big for anyone’s house.’ She studied it. ‘It might look good in the middle of Leicester Square. Or maybe we could just ship it to the US. They’d have
room for it out there. It’s a big country.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You said the tree was perfect.’
‘It is perfect. Perfect for the children because they love it. But as for the rest of it…’ She gave a helpless shrug and started to laugh, ‘It’s going to scratch the paint from your ceiling and you’re going to be clearing up needles for months. And that’s if we can even get it home. But it was worth buying it just to see their faces.’
He lifted a hand to his face and shook his head in disbelief. ‘You’re worse than the children.’
‘Very possibly.’
‘Why did I ever allow you to move in with me?’ His tone was exasperated and she gave a helpless shrug.
‘Because you were in a tight spot and we both thought we could easily resist each other. Obviously we were both a bit overconfident. Let’s go home and decorate the tree. There’s nothing quite like pine needles digging into your bottom to put a dent in the libido.’
He slipped his hand into his coat and removed his wallet. ‘Chloe wouldn’t have minded having a smaller one. We should have bought a smaller one.’
‘I’m glad you didn’t.’ After a moment’s hesitation she followed her instincts and slipped her arm through his. ‘And Chloe wanted this one every bit as much as Aggie, but she didn’t want to upset you.’
He stilled, a frown in his eyes. ‘Why would she be afraid of upsetting me? Am I an ogre?’
‘No, of course you’re not.’ Lara’s smile faded. ‘Perhaps she isn’t afraid of upsetting you. I could be wrong. I haven’t known her long. Perhaps she’s just looking after you.’
‘Possibly.’
But it was obvious that he thought it was something more than that and Lara resolved to engineer a way of talking to Chloe about something other than the usual mundane stuff.
‘Daddy, it’s snowing!’ Shrieking with excitement. Aggie spread out her hands and lifted her face to the sky.
Watching the snowflakes drift gently onto the pavement, they made their way home and then hung lights on the tree and then decorations, including the ones that the girls had made with Lara.
‘We baked them in the oven and painted them,’ Aggie told Christian, staring in awe as her wonky star revolved slowly on the Christmas tree. ‘Wow. It looks fantastic. Mummy never let us put our own decorations on the tree because she always said that matching silver ones looked better, but I don’t think they do. This is much more fun.’