Shielding Aspen

by Susan Stoker

  But Kane had refused to even kiss her at the end of the night. She hadn’t been all that comfortable with his insistence on her not paying for anything, but after he’d explained why, she’d relented.

  It all couldn’t been a ruse she’d fallen for hook, line, and sinker. She really hoped not.

  Time would tell.

  She looked at her watch. He was supposed to be at her apartment in five minutes. They were going to dinner, then he’d bring her home. As far as first dates went, it was pretty tame, but Aspen was thankful. The last thing she wanted to do was hang with him all night if it turned out last night was a fluke, and he really was a douche.

  But she hoped he wasn’t. Hoped that the attraction she’d felt toward him at the bar carried over into tonight.

  Aspen startled badly when a knock sounded on her door. She’d been watching out the window, but had apparently been so lost in her own head that he’d gotten past her. After verifying it was Kane, Aspen opened her door.

  “Hey,” she said somewhat shyly as she met his gaze.

  For a second, they simply stared at each other in silence. Then Kane shook his head and smiled at her. “Hi.”

  Suddenly, Aspen felt like she was fifteen again and her very first boyfriend had come to pick her up. She didn’t know what to say or do. All she could do was stare at Kane. He was wearing a dark olive-green button-up shirt and a pair of jeans. He’d trimmed his beard since the night before but his hair was still messy, as if he’d just run his fingers through it.

  She didn’t know much about his dating history, but she’d gotten the impression the night before that he hadn’t had many long-term girlfriends. Which was crazy, because the man standing in front of her was fucking beautiful.

  Aspen hadn’t been sure what to wear, but had finally decided on a pair of jeans and a black tank top. It was still warm in the evenings and she wanted to be comfortable. She wasn’t a dress-and-heels kind of girl. If Kane didn’t like her the way she was, it was better to find that out now rather than later down the line.

  And any worry Aspen might’ve felt about the chemistry they had being a one-time thing was already blown out of the water. As they stood in her doorway staring at each other, she could tell that Kane was just as tongue-tied as she was.

  “You look amazing,” Kane said when the awkward silence got a little too long.

  Aspen huffed out a self-deprecating breath. “I’m wearing a tank top and jeans, Kane. Not anything fancy.”

  He took a step forward, crossing her threshold, and Aspen took one step back before straightening her spine. She wasn’t scared of Kane, but he made her feel off-center, which was unusual.

  “You’re supposed to say ‘thank you,’” he told her. “You aren’t very good at accepting compliments, are you?” he asked, almost mimicking her question from last night.

  Aspen shrugged. “I don’t get them very often, so…no.”

  “That’s a fuckin’ shame,” Kane said. He hadn’t taken his gaze from hers, and it felt good. He saw her, not a pair of boobs with a head, as it felt other men saw—like Derek. “You’re the kind of woman who can wear a little black dress and heels and outshine the most beautiful cover model, but more importantly, change into a battle dress uniform and boots and still be the prettiest woman in the room.”

  Aspen had no idea what to say to that. She swallowed hard.

  Kane was standing close, but he wasn’t touching her. Their eyes were almost level and his gaze was so intense, she had to drop her own. She could see his heartbeat in the hollow of his throat and could smell his clean scent. As if he’d just jumped out of the shower right before coming over. He wore no cologne, no artificial scents, and it made her want to pull him into her apartment and into her bedroom right that second.

  It had been a long time since she’d wanted a man as badly as she wanted Kane.

  “I see I’m going to have to compliment you more often,” he said with a small smile. “To make it easier for you to simply say thank you. You ready to go?”

  “Yeah, I just need to grab my purse. You want to come in?” Aspen asked.

  Kane shook his head. “I’ll just wait here.”

  Wondering why he didn’t want to come inside, Aspen merely shrugged and turned her back on him to go get her purse. She returned in under a minute and saw that Kane was now standing just outside her apartment, in the hallway. She exited and locked the door and, as they walked down the hall, she asked, “You didn’t want to see my apartment?”

  He glanced at her with a look she couldn’t interpret.

  Then he blew her mind.

  “I do want to see your apartment. I want to know everything about you. I want to know if you’re the kind of woman who likes lots of pillows and blankets on her couch, or if you’re more of a neatnik. I want to know if you have one of those single-cup coffeemakers, or if you’re a pot-at-a-time kind of drinker. I want to flip through your movies and books and see what interests you.

  “But, this is our first date. You don’t know me, and the last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable in any way. And invading your personal space could not only be discomforting, but it’s dangerous. You shouldn’t invite anyone into your home before you really know them. What would’ve prevented me from closing and locking the door behind me and attacking you? I’ll always keep you safe, even if you don’t need me to. Because that’s what a man does for the woman he’s dating. He keeps her safe, doesn’t let anyone else take advantage or disrespect her, and he tries to make her feel comfortable in his presence.”

  Aspen stopped in her tracks, right in the middle of the hallway of her apartment complex, and stared at Kane incredulously.

  “Aspen?” he asked, his brows furrowed in obvious confusion.

  “Are you for real? Or is this all a game?”

  Kane looked even more confused. “A game?”

  “Yeah. You’re saying all these amazing things that are pretty much what every woman wants to hear. Are you hoping to butter me up so you can get in my pants later tonight when you bring me home?”

  The second the words were out of her mouth, Aspen wished she could take them back. Kane’s expression went from concern to resignation. He took a step away from her, and she felt cold all of a sudden.

  “I’m not playing a game,” he said in a low, even tone. “I am who I am. I spent a lot of time watching the adults around me when I was growing up. My dad’s a nice guy, but he’s not the most perceptive. He’s never held a door open for my mom and often walked in front of us when we’d go from the car to a building. I was young when I started college, but I still saw how shitty a lot of men treated the women they were supposed to like. Then I joined the Army, and I’ve witnessed countless examples of women being treated like second-class citizens in countries all over the world. I’ve never wanted to be ‘that guy.’ I want to make sure any woman who goes out with me knows I respect her, and that she’s important.” He sighed. “I’m sorry if you think I was handing you a line. Maybe you were right; maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

  The last sentence was muttered, and Aspen knew he was on the verge of walking away and leaving her standing in the middle of the hallway.

  She reached out and clamped a hand on Kane’s forearm. “I’m sorry,” she said immediately. “I just…Derek was really nice on our first date. Attentive and funny. I didn’t really feel any chemistry with him, but I thought maybe it might grow. So I agreed to go out a second time, and it was like he was a different man. He kept touching me in ways that made me uncomfortable. When he brought me home, he kissed me, then tried to grope me. He wasn’t happy when I told him no, and honestly, he kind of scared me. I just…I’m leery. And you’re saying all the things any woman would love to hear, and it all seems too good to be true.”

  “I’m not that asshole,” Kane said, enunciating each word carefully. “I’ve known too many men exactly like him. If I say something, I mean it. And I won’t lie, I’m attracted to you, Aspen, but I don’t do one-ni
ght stands. I want to get to know a woman before I sleep with her. It’s probably not very macho of me to admit it, but I want some sort of emotional connection with the woman I take to my bed. Physical attraction isn’t enough for me. For the longest time, I was behind my classmates sexually. And when I did finally get interested in the opposite sex, I was too young for the girls around me. I’m not saying I want to be engaged before I’ll sleep with someone, but fucking for the sake of fucking isn’t what I’m after in relationships.”

  Aspen believed him. Honesty and sincerity was written all over his face. He wasn’t just filling her head with pretty words, or using reversed psychology to get her to sleep with him. “Okay. I’m sorry I was rude.”

  “You weren’t rude,” Kane told her. “Just honest. But I’m letting you know right now, if I tell you something, you can absolutely believe that it’s the truth.”

  Aspen nodded then leaned forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder. It was an intimate thing to do, considering they hadn’t even left on their first date yet, but she needed to touch him. To let him know that she was really sorry.

  They stood like that, her holding onto his forearm with both hands and her head on his shoulder, and him leaning into her, for at least a minute…before her stomach growled.

  Kane chuckled. “You’re hungry. I need to feed you.”

  “Worked through lunch,” Aspen said with a shrug. “The teams are training hard right now just in case we’re sent over to Afghanistan.”

  It was nice not having to explain what she meant. Kane knew because he was in the same circles as the Rangers. He probably knew more than they did, in fact.

  “Yeah, things are getting ugly over there. There’s a new guy who’s stirring things up. The US is going to have to do something about him. Soon.” Kane took hold of her hand and they started back down the hall as they talked.

  Aspen nodded. “I understand the need to be prepared, but damn, running through countless scenarios in the back forty of the post isn’t exactly my idea of a good time. It’s freaking hot.”

  “It’ll be hot in Afghanistan too,” Kane said with a smile.

  “I know,” Aspen grumbled. “Now you sound like my platoon sergeant.”

  Kane held open the door to the apartment complex for her and, after she walked through, was right there by her side once more. He led her over to his black Dodge Challenger and held open the passenger door for her. Then he jogged around the front to get to the other side. He immediately started the engine, and the air conditioning, before he put on his seat belt. It was one more thing to like about him.

  When he was belted in, he turned to her. “Where to?”

  “What?”

  “Where do you want to eat dinner?”

  “You mean you haven’t already decided?” Aspen asked in disbelief.

  “Nope. I don’t know what you like. Seafood? Mexican? Steak? Any decision I make is fraught with pitfalls. You might be a vegetarian, and if I chose a steak restaurant, this relationship would be over before it began. Or if I picked a seafood place, and you were allergic, there again, that wouldn’t bode well for us. So the easiest and safest thing to do is to let you choose.”

  “But what if I make the wrong decision? That’s a lot of pressure to put on a girl, Kane.”

  He smiled and, once again, Aspen decided that women were insane to not want this man. How the hell he was single was a complete mystery to her.

  “You can’t choose wrong. I eat anything. Literally. There’s not one thing I won’t eat.”

  “Nothing?” she asked, raising one eyebrow.

  He laughed. “I can see I just threw down a challenge, didn’t I?”

  “There has to be something you don’t like. No one likes every kind of food,” Aspen told him.

  “Fine. I don’t like kimchi,” Kane said with a shudder.

  “Doesn’t count,” Aspen told him with a shake of her head. “No one likes fermented cabbage. Not if they’re not from Korea and didn’t grow up eating it.”

  Kane smiled at her. It was a gentle smile, filled with tenderness. Aspen knew she was crazy for reading so much into his expression, but she couldn’t help it. When she was around him, he made her feel like the most important person in the world. It was heady, and she could definitely get used to it.

  “What are you in the mood for, cha-gee?”

  Aspen blinked at the foreign-sounding word. “What did you call me?”

  She was surprised when Kane’s cheeks flushed. “Sorry, it just popped out.”

  “And? What does it mean?”

  “Cha-gee is ‘darling’ in Korean. Sometimes I find myself using a foreign word instead of the English one,” Kane said.

  “Cha-gee,” Aspen repeated, trying out the odd-sounding word.

  “Food?” Kane asked.

  She had the feeling he was trying to move on from what he perceived as an embarrassing slip of the tongue. “Tell you what, you can call me whatever foreign term of endearment you want, if you never make me choose where to eat after tonight. Don’t you know women hate picking?”

  He chuckled. “Deal.”

  Aspen took a deep breath and wracked her brain for where they should go. She was starving, and really, there was only one place she wanted to eat when she got this hungry. “Taqueria Mexico,” she said.

  “Taqueria Mexico Restaurant or Taqueria Mexico Lindo?” Kane asked immediately.

  “You’ve heard of it?” Aspen asked.

  “Uh, it’s only the best Mexican food in Killeen,” Kane said. “Now, do you prefer the restaurant on Rancier Avenue, or the smaller Lindo on Fort Hood Street?”

  “Restaurant,” Aspen told him.

  Kane smiled and nodded. “Good choice.”

  It was insane how such a small compliment could make her feel so good. “And I have to warn you, I’m not one of those women who orders a salad and picks at it. I can put down a basket of chips and salsa all by myself, and then eat my entire dinner to boot.”

  Kane’s smile didn’t dim. “Good. Because I’m not going to let you order a salad then pick at my plate all night.”

  “Ha. No way. I ran five miles in the heat, then did burpees and crawled in the sand for what seemed like hours. I’ve earned every single calorie I’m going to consume tonight.”

  “I don’t doubt it. But it doesn’t matter to me if you’ve sat on your ass all day either. You are who you are, and so far, I’m liking exactly who that is, Aspen Mesmer.”

  His words stuck with her all the way to the restaurant. Aspen knew she wasn’t super skinny. She had muscles from working out all the time, and she refused to starve herself to fit into a size four. She loved food. And carbs were her weakness. She had no problem wearing tank tops because her arms were damn impressive, if she did say so herself. She hadn’t expected Kane to disparage her on their first night out, but hearing him say he liked her exactly as she was felt good.

  They arrived at the hole-in-the-wall Mexican place, and he met her at the front of his car and reached for her hand. They walked inside and were quickly seated in a very colorful booth in the back corner of the busy dining room.

  Surprising her, Kane sat at her side, instead of across from her. At her look, he asked, “Is this all right? I just figured we could hear each other better if I was sitting next to you. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can move. In fact, I’ll just—”

  Aspen grabbed his arm and shook her head. “Stay. It just surprised me for a second.”

  Kane slowly sat back down and shrugged. “I’m really not very good at the whole dating thing,” he said a little self-consciously.

  “You’re doing more than all right so far,” Aspen told him.

  They were interrupted by the waiter coming by with a heaping basket of warm tortilla chips and a bowl of salsa. He took their drink orders and scurried away.

  Kane scooted the salsa closer to her and nodded toward it. “Ladies first.”

  “Are you gonna get weird if I double dip?” Aspen asked.<
br />
  He grinned. “Nope. Not at all. And the amount of saliva that can be transferred by double dipping is actually very small. Hell, kissing exchanges more germs than sharing a bowl of salsa.”

  “Good to know,” Aspen said with a grin of her own.

  He wrinkled his nose. “There I go again. If I start spouting too much stupid shit, just smack me.”

  “Never. It’s handy to have someone around who has all the answers.”

  “I thought you didn’t like it when a guy always has to be right? You, Gillian, and Kinley had a discussion at length about that,” Kane said.

  “No,” Aspen countered. “We don’t like it when we’re contradicted all the time and told we’re wrong when we know we’re right.”

  “Noted,” Kane told her with another smile.

  “I mean, it’s obvious you’re smarter than me, and I’m okay with that. But if I’m talking about the traffic, which route to take, or something medical, you’d better be damn sure you’re right before you contradict me.”

  He was looking at her with an expression she couldn’t interpret, and just as she was about to ask him what he was thinking, the waiter returned to take their orders. Luckily, Aspen didn’t even have to look at the menu. She’d been there so many times she had it practically memorized. Kane didn’t look at it either and ordered fajitas.

  After the waiter left, their conversation slipped into the more typical things two people who wanted to get to know each other talked about. She told him that she was an only child and grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She’d gone to college but had dropped out before finishing her Bachelor of Arts in English. She hadn’t been sure what she wanted to do with her life after quitting school. She’d done a ride-along with the local police department when she’d considered law enforcement, and had been fascinated with the paramedics who’d shown up to provide life-saving measures to a couple who’d been injured in a motorcycle accident.