by Dee J. Stone
“I don’t like the face you made,” I say to Rey, my voice low. “You got a problem? No one’s holding a knife to your neck. You don’t have to come to her meet.”
“My god, Cruise. I can handle going to her dance meet. I’m not in love with her.”
I bang my head against the back of the seat again. Maybe he’s not in love with her, but he’s got a problem with something.
“Fine,” he says. “I just think it’s sick the way you’re so…I don’t know.” He shrugs again. “Like you care so much.” He doesn’t have to say the next words. I see it in his eyes. I wish I had that, too.
“You can have it, Rey. You just need to find the right girl.”
He snorts. “I have my violin, remember? It’s my lover.”
“The hell, Rey.”
He laughs.
“Whatever happened to that girl I told you about? Melody whatnot?”
He shrugs another time.
“Is this the school?” Dad asks, stopping before a building that says Franklin High School. I grab the door handle, but the door won’t open. “Shit, it’s stuck.”
“Geez, Cruise, relax,” Rey says. Dad unlocks the doors.
“Huh. That explains it.” I yank on the door handle and get out. I don’t know or care if the rest of them follow. I rush into the building. Now where is that auditorium?
It’s not hard to find. I just follow the music. As I step in, my gaze shoots to the stage. I don’t see the familiar blue and white colors that are the Sharkettes. I see gold and purple. Did I make it in time? Did the Sharkettes go yet?
The track ends and the audience cheers. As the girls march off stage, someone announces, “South Beach High’s Sharkettes are up next.”
I would dance on all these people’s heads if I could. I didn’t miss Lex’s performance. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
Someone touches my arm. Mom. “Grab a seat, Elvis.”
I don’t move my eyes from the stage as I look for a seat. I want to make sure Lex sees me. She needs to know I’m here.
The Sharkettes walk on stage. They place their poms before them on the floor. I immediately pinpoint Lex from the other girls. Her black hair is tied in a high ponytail, twirled in this curl that is cute and sexy. Like the others, she’s got glitter around her eyes. Look at me, T. Rex. Please look at me.
Her eyes sweep the audience. She bites her bottom lip. I wave. She doesn’t see me. I wave again. Some other girls notice me. One—I think the captain, Holly—nudges Lex’s side and nods in my direction. Lex’s eyes land on me. Her whole face washes with joy. Pure joy that makes every cell in my body want to do some lame happy dance.
The track starts. The girls do their thing. I’ve said this to Lex many times, but I think she is the sexiest and most talented Sharkette on the team. I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s like an angel. Her moves are graceful. The way her ponytail hits the back of her neck. The way the bottom of her uniform rises just a bit as she twirls. The way her toned arms catch her poms. The way she shakes her little behind.
I love this girl. So, so much.
Two minutes later, they’re done. Chests puffing, big smiles on their faces. The audience roars. I jump to my feet and am about to clap, but then I remember my arm. I wave my good one around in the air instead. Lex, cheeks flushed, jumps up and down in her place, waving at me. It makes me feel real good to make her this happy.
She sweeps her poms off the floor and runs off stage. Heads for me. I get out of my seat so I can meet her halfway. She sprints toward me and flings her arms around me. Her warm lips kiss me all over the face. “Cruiser.” She breathes, then kisses my lips. “You’re here.”
I bury my face in her hair and wrap my good arm around her waist. “I told you I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Thanks so much. You just left the hospital?”
“Yeah.”
She squeezes me tight. Kisses my lips again. “I love you, Cruiser.”
“I love you, too.” My hand strokes the back of her head. “So, so much.” I gently pull her head back so I can look into her eyes. “You were amazing on stage.” I kiss her again, this time more intense than the last. I feel her soften in my arms. If it was up to me, I would stand here and just kiss her. But we’re in public. In front of my family and her school and teammates. Reluctantly, I step back.
She takes my hand and holds it tight. One more school performs before they announce the winner. I squeeze Lex’s hand. I know they did well. They were amazing. She lays her head on my shoulder.
The gold and purple team wins third. The Sharkettes place second. I hug Lex with one arm as she jumps in her place. “Congrats, Lex!”
She buries her face in my chest.
Holly and some of the other girls walk over. I pat Lex’s back, and she lifts her head. “We’re going for pizza to celebrate. Coming?”
She stares into my eyes. Looks like she’s lost in them. I’m lost in hers, too. I blink and say, “Go, darlin’.”
She shakes her head. Wraps her arms around my middle. “I want to stay with you.” She looks at her teammates. “Next time, okay?”
They nod, giving her this knowing smile. Like they don’t blame her for ditching them for me. They walk away, giggling.
I touch her cheek. “You coulda gone with them. I wouldn’t have minded.”
“We go out for pizza all the time. I want to spend every second with you.” She squeezes me again and puts her face back on my chest. I just hold onto her.
After a few minutes, Lex steps back and looks up at me. “Are you going home?” She looks out at the audience. “Rey and your parents are here, too.” She waves. They head toward us.
“I need to get to work,” Mom says.
Right, she’s working tonight because she took the day off to take me home. Turns out Dad took the day off, too.
“You’ll settle in okay?” Mom asks.
She asked me earlier today if I wanted to move back in with her. I’m still not sure, so I told her I was going to stay at Dad’s for now.
“I’ll be okay,” I tell her.
“Rey, help your brother.”
He nods.
Mom hugs me and Rey before walking off.
I put my arm around Lex. “Wanna come over?”
“Are you sure? Don’t you want to rest?”
I press my lips on her temple. “I want to be with you.”
“Okay. Let me just tell Rosie and my parents.”
I go with her to say hello to them. I ruffle Rosie’s hair. She groans and pats it down. As Lex and I leave the building, I say, “Has Jamie had the procedure yet?”
“They’re doing some more tests on him and prepping him mentally before they do the procedure. I’m not sure when, but Jamie’s mom will let us know.”
“How’s Rosie doing?”
“I honestly don’t know. She’s kept to herself these past few days. She video chatted with Jamie, though.”
“That’s good.”
My dad opens the back door for us. I extend my arm and bow. “M’lady.”
Lex giggles and climbs in. I try to look as composed as possible as I get in, but man this sling is a bitch. It’s like I can’t balance myself right. Lex takes hold of my other arm and steadies me as I get in. Once I’m good, I peck her nose. Rey sits shotgun.
No one strikes up a conversation as Dad drives to his apartment. Lex’s hand is locked in mine. My thumb caresses her skin. Every so often, she looks up at me, into my eyes, and gives me a loving smile. The one that makes me feel like I can conquer the world.
When we reach the apartment, I look out. I almost don’t recognize it. I guess because I only lived there for a few days. It looks the same, but it never felt like home. Just like a temporary dwelling. I know my bike isn’t in the garage. It’s gone, thanks to Jackass Jake and his jackass crew.
Lex gets out and helps me. “I feel like some invalid,” I mumble.
“Don’t.” She links her hand through my good arm. “I like taking care of you.”
Dad carries my bag to my room. There’s not much in there. Just some underwear and clothes. Mom threw out my bloody ones. As soon as I walk in, my mouth drops. What the hell did Rey do to the room? Clothes are tossed around. Books and papers are all over the place. Game cases are piled high on our dresser. The room reeks.
“Rey! Get your ass in here.”
Footsteps. Then he appears in the doorway. “What?”
“What the hell did you do to the place?” He’s always been a neat freak. Even kept his Xbox in its case when not in use.
His eyes roam around. He shrugs. “Looks fine to me.”
I grit my teeth. “I’m not cleaning this up.”
“Never told you to.” He walks away.
“I’ll help clean up,” Lex says as she steps in. “I’m sure Rey wasn’t in the right frame of mind these past few days.” She sweeps some socks off the floor. “Do you have a laundry bag or something?”
Hell if I know.
“I’ll ask your dad.” She runs the back of her fingers across my cheek before leaving.
I check out the place. My stuff is here, but it doesn’t feel like home. Having Lex in here makes me realize that I don’t want to live here anymore. I want to move back in with Mom. But I can’t leave Rey. Jake’s attack seems to have messed him up. Considering he was a wreck before this incident, I got no clue what’ll happen to him now. I see the guilt in his eyes when he looks at me. It’s like there’s a monster inside him, eating at his insides. I need to stay close to him to make sure he doesn’t go down an even worse path.
I guess this is home sweet home.
Chapter Ten
Lex
It’s weird to be in this apartment. Both the twins and I have lived in the same houses since we were born, right next to one another. Seeing Cruiser’s things here feels foreign, as though someone else has taken his belongings and is living his life.
Mr. Dalton gives me a bag to put Rey and Cruiser’s dirty laundry in. It’s obvious only men are living here. Not that the house is a hurricane, but it’s definitely missing a woman’s touch. Mrs. Dalton is the type of woman who takes on the household responsibilities, so it’s no surprise that the men here seem a bit in over their heads.
When I return to Cruiser’s room, he looks lost in his own head. He’s staring at the room as though he’s never seen it before. I gently touch his arm, which causes him to blink and look at me. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. Just thinking.”
I wish he would elaborate, but his mind must be jumbled now. He’s been in the hospital for a week and is starting to come back to the real world and has to deal with what happened. My head would be a mess, too.
“I brought a bag,” I tell him. “To put all your dirty things in.”
“You don’t have to do this, Lex. Cleaning up after me and Rey.”
I get down on my knees before a pile of clothes. “It’s okay. I need to occupy myself with something.”
He sits on his bed. “What’s on your mind?”
I keep my eyes on my work. “I don’t know. Everything.”
“I feel the same.” He carefully lowers himself next to me and gathers some of the clothes with his right hand. “Lex.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m gonna stay with my dad for now. I need to be near Rey.”
I nod. “I understand.”
He puts his hand beneath my chin and raises my face to meet his eyes. “I’m not pushing him in front of you. I want to patch things up with you, but Rey…”
I nod again. “I understand, Cruiser.” I know Rey’s struggling with something and that Cruiser wants to keep an eye on him. I know it’s because of Rey that Cruiser got attacked. But I don’t say anything because I don’t want to shake things up. Cruiser and I are together again and I don’t want to ruin it.
Once the room is pretty much clean, Cruiser takes my hand and leads me to his bed. He twists his body as he lies down, then wraps his arm around my waist and lowers me on top of him. My head rests on his chest. I feel how fast his heart is beating. I’m not sure if it’s because of me, or because he’s nervous about something. His chest rises and falls in a steady pace.
His hand rubs my back for a few seconds before slowly going lower. He touches the hem of my uniform, his fingers brushing my upper thigh. It’s gentle and soothing, like he’s comforting me and not like he wants to do anything dirty.
“I’ve really missed you,” he murmurs.
“I’m sorry. For everything.”
“You don’t need to apologize, darlin’.”
I shake my head against his chest. “But I do, Cruise. I falsely accused you of hooking up with Erica Sandford. You tried to explain, but I didn’t want to hear it. It’s like I was sabotaging our relationship because I was so scared to get hurt. Like maybe I wanted to hurt you before you hurt me.” Tears fill my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m such a bad person.”
“No, T. Rex,” he says softly. “You’re not a bad person. Not at all. You’ve been through a lot of shit. Been hurt a lot. It’s understandable that you’re scared you’ll get hurt again. Especially by me. I’m sorry for what I put you through.”
I close my eyes and take in a strong breath, letting it out slowly. “I told myself the best thing to do to move on from the past is to not talk about it. But now I realize that might not be the best idea. We’re going to constantly be reminded of it. We might meet girls from your past, like Erica. We’re always going to have the guilt of Rosie’s accident consuming our hearts. But if we can forgive ourselves and trust one another, I think we can make things work. I just wish I won’t hurt you ever again.”
He cups his hand around my chin. “It’s okay if you hurt me. Because it shows you care.”
“You’re too good to me, Cruise.”
“You’re the best thing to have happened to me.” He runs his hand down the length of my ponytail.
“You’re the best thing to have happened to me, too.”
He pulls off my ponytail holder, releasing my hair. Then he combs his fingers through it, first on one side and then the other, since he can only use one hand. He hooks his arm around my waist and turns me around so that I’m lying on my back. He gently climbs on top of me, using the elbow of his broken arm for support. A hiss leaves his mouth.
“Cruiser—”
“I’m okay.”
Since he can only balance on one arm, he’s putting a little more weight on me than in the past. It doesn’t hurt, he just feels heavy. I know it’s not easy for him to do this, and I want to tell him we don’t need to make out. I’m okay with keeping things light until his arm is healed. But it looks like he has other plans. He bends forward to capture my lips with his. My hands creep up his back. I know he’s still a little sore from the attack, so I try to be as gentle as possible. Slowly, I slide one hand to his chest. A soft groan escapes his lips.
“Love your touch,” he says.
“Am I hurting you?”
He shakes his head, then kisses me again. I close my eyes and am about to open my mouth to welcome him in, when he lifts his lips off me. I frown. Before I can open my eyes and demand he return his lips to mine, I feel them brushing across my forehead. Then they’re on my eyes, first on the right one and then on the left. They travel down my nose, skip my lips, then run across my chin. He brings them back up to my forehead, skipping my lips again. My heart races and every part of me heats up.
“You’re killing me,” I whisper, my eyes still closed. I’m too weak to open them.
“I know.” He has nothing but humor in his voice.
He tilts my head to the side and buries his lips in the side of my neck, trailing them down the length of it. I feel like I’ve been rocketed to another world. Every part of me is numb.
“You’re killing me, too,” he says.
Through the fog of all these sensations, I hear the door open. Cruiser’s body digs into mine, like he turned to face the door. My eyes fly open and I see Rey standing in the d
oorway.
His eyes widen. “Wow, I forgot you two were in here.”
He turns to go, but I say, “Rey, wait.”
He faces me. I put my hands on Cruiser’s chest and gently push him back so I can wiggle out from underneath him. I get to my feet. “I want the three of us to talk.”
Rey’s eyes move to his brother. They’re filled with confusion. “Um. Okay.”
Cruiser looks confused, too. I know the timing sucks because Cruiser and I were experiencing such an amazing, intimate moment. But I don’t know when else I’ll have the chance to talk to the two of them, and I really want answers. I’m worried bringing this up may put a strain on things, but I don’t think Cruiser and I can have a healthy relationship until we resolve some of the issues we’ve been pushing aside.
I settle down next to Cruiser and ask Rey to sit on his bed. I take a deep breath to regulate my breathing. “I know something big is going on. I know Cruiser got hurt because of you, Rey. I know it involves Jake Tyler. I really would like to know what’s going on.”
Rey keeps quiet, his eyes on the floor. When I glance at Cruiser, I see his gaze fastened on his brother. He looks at me for a second before returning his eyes to Rey. “You can tell her.”
Rey keeps quiet.
“Rey,” I say. “Whatever you’re going through is having a huge impact on Cruiser. Just look at what happened to him. And it’s putting a strain on our relationship too.”
“I’m putting a strain on your relationship? Gee, just over a month ago it was Cruiser putting a strain on our relationship.”
I feel like I’ve been slapped across the face. Hard.
We’re all quiet. I say, “I’m sorry.”
Rey snorts.
I know saying those two words can’t erase the pain I caused him. I don’t know if anything can. I thought he was okay with Cruiser and me, or at least partially okay. Guilt pricks me from all directions.
“Rey,” Cruiser says, “either you’re cool with me and Lex or you’re not. But you gotta tell us how you feel instead of snapping like this.”
Rey gets up and reaches for the stress ball sitting on the dresser. He squeezes it. “I don’t know how I feel, okay? I mean, I really liked you, Lex. I think I did. I don’t know if I still have feelings for you or if I’m just jealous of what the two of you have. What you’ve always had when we were kids. I was so jealous back then.” He shakes his head like he wants to chase away the memories of his childhood.