—They went talking about the old times then like again. I could see them through the glass French doors between the room. They’re panelled doors like with like glass with designs on it like. But it was dark in the telly room where I was but they had the lights on in the kitchen so I could see them fairly clear like. Next thing Teesh starts singing ‘Dear Old Skibbereen’.
Knew every word of it. Only thing he ever learned in his life maybe.
—That was beautiful, said Dinky, pure poetry boy.
—Island of saints and scholars, says Teesh.
—And patriots, says Dinky.
—True and brave.
—Patriots all. True and brave.
—OK.
—So then they kind of started hugging each other then like.
—What?
—Ahm . . . like . . . they were fairly drunk and were getting carried away with their stories about the War of Independence and all that stuff like.
—They were hugging each other?
—Well, not exactly hugging like. Teesh kind of grabbed Dinky by the two arms like and he was saying, ‘Are you one of our own? Are you one of our own?’ Dinky says back to him, all serious like, ‘Yes. Yes. I’m one of our own. Yes I am.’
—So they were in a physical embrace, were they?
—Yes. Yes, they were.
—But not a hug.
—No.
—Could you show the court? Do you think you could show the jury if I got one of the guards to help you demonstrate.
—Ahm . . . like . . .
—Don’t be embarrassed. Will you do it for the court?
—Ahm OK, yes. Like OK.
—OK.
I don’t know if the judge was having a laugh to himself or what was he at but anyhow Snoozie grabbed the guard by the arms, and goes, ‘Like this.’ The judge asked then if Teesh did anything with his arms. Then Snoozie tells the baffled blushing guard to grab him back by the elbows. The guard looked up at the judge and the judge gave him the nod to do it. Snoozie and the guard stood there like two lovers in some old play or something, holding each other. The judge roars, ‘Silence,’ then cos a few in the crowd started giggling. ‘That’ll do,’ says the judge and he thanked the guard and told him to go back to where he was standing up at the front of the court looking down at the crowd and the embarrassed face burning off the poor rookie.
—Then they started roaring stuff then like . . . like something like . . . ‘Ireland for ever,’ or something like that.
Actually Dinky said, ‘We were here before the invaders. We’ll be here after them. Our families have been in Ballyronan for generations. We saw them off before and by fuck we’ll do it again.’ ‘You’re a good man, Dinky,’ Teesh goes, ‘You’re a good man.’ Then he roars, ‘For Ireland true and brave,’ and bangs his fist off the table, and Dinky shouts back at him, ‘For Ireland true and brave.’ Anyhow, I’ll let Snoozie’s court transcript carry on.
—I was going to go in and tell them to shut up in case they woke the neighbours but they calmed down then. One of them went to the fridge and got another couple of cans. Ahm, I might just take a drink of water.
—Take your time. You’re doing fine.
Not sure what was in the water but it helped Snoozie string a few sentences together. I think he might have taken a sec while he drank to ask his God for strength. And maybe to actually sound like English was a language he was fluent in. He sat back on his chair and looked up at the sky through the skylight of the court. Chest out. Strength. Got it from somewhere anyhow. He carried on.
—So like, then Dinky goes, ‘Can I trust you?’ ‘With your life,’ Teesh says, ‘With your life.’ Then he says that he has James nearly out of the picture.
—What do you think he meant by, ‘Out of the picture’?
—Well, Teesh asked him if he meant he was going to kill him, and Dinky said no, just out of Ballyronan. Said he’d want nothing to do with Ballyronan after what he’d managed to do.
—After what who’d managed to do?
—Dinky himself.
—OK, carry on.
I’ll take it from here cos I remember it better. Teesh says then,
—Sure he’s done with the place now after the way Sinéad carried on behind his back, and more power to the girl for it.
Then Dinky says,
—Best day’s work I ever done.
—What do you mean? says Teesh.
Next thing Dinky came in the door to make sure myself and Snoozie were asleep. He figured we were in a coma but we were awake as fuck. In the court when Snoozie started getting into it, he started half crying.
—That’s when he started telling about Sinéad . . .
—Are you OK?
—Ahm . . . It’s kinda hard to tell this . . .
—I know it is. Take your time. You’re doing very well. If you want a break at any time, just say so. Would you like a fifteen-minute break now?
—No. I’m OK, thanks.
—Fine, have a drink of water and continue then, in your own time. And tell it chronologically if you can. Do you know what chronologically means?
—No.
—It means as time unfolds. Tell what you heard Dinky tell Teesh in the order that you heard it.
—OK, Your Lordship. Well, Dinky made Teesh swear that he wouldn’t tell a soul about what he was about to tell him.
—OK.
—He said he met the Rascal one night in the toilets of Roundy’s. It was a lock-in like, so there was hardly anyone else around, only a few of the lads.
—What’s a lock-in?
—Like. After hours. When the door is closed. But some customers are still inside drinking. With the lights off like in case the guards would see from outside. After hours like.
—Yes, yes, I understand. So a lock-in is after hours.
—Yes, Your Lordship.
It’s better if I tell it cos the judge was asking him to explain everything and it took for ever so it’s pages and pages of court transcripts. So anyhow. That’s what Dinky said. That he met the Rascal in the toilets of Roundy’s one night late. I remember the same night cos I went into the jacks and Dinky and the Rascal were in there. But it was strange.
—How are the lads?
—How’s the gamal?
—Grand. Dying for a piss.
—Doubt ya boy. Better out than in. I’ll see ya Dinky. And don’t go telling no one no one’s business. She’d have better luck proving that the Earth was flat at this stage anyhow.
I pissed. Dinky stood staring at himself in the mirror for the full duration of my piss and longer. I zipped up and looked at him. Still staring at himself in the mirror he was.
—You all right Dinky boy? says I.
—Fuck off Gamal, says he.
Next thing he runs to the cubicle and starts puking up everything inside him that would come out. I stood listening to him vomiting as I looked at the mirror. The reflection I saw was me. The reflection Dinky saw was him. Now as I’m thinking I’m wondering is there a time. Is there a time when you have to look at yourself and decide what kind of a man you are. Or what kind of a man you’re not. Is there a time when you just have to decide?
—That’s a nice handy bit of pebble-dashing, I said.
—Fuck off Gamal.
Pebble-dashing is when a builder plasters a wall with a mixture of mortar and pebbles. He throws the mixture at the wall trowel by trowel until it’s all covered. But it means vomiting too. Anyhow I did as Dinky asked and I fucked off and thought no more of it until I heard Dinky telling Teesh the whole story. The Rascal had told Dinky about a night a few months before after he’d played a gig in Roundy’s. This is what he told Dinky. That he’d been drinking late after everyone had gone home. It was just the Rascal, Sinéad and Roundy’s wife. Roundy himself wasn’t around the same night.
They had a couple anyway and then Sinéad went out to clean the toilets. Eileen, according to Rascal was very drunk, drinking double brandies she was. So Dinky went
on then about how the Rascal said that while Sinéad was cleaning the toilets himself and Eileen started talking about her. The Rascal was saying what a nice girl she was and all, and that the customers loved her and all. Then he said like that it became obvious to the Rascal that Roundy’s wife hated Sinéad. The Rascal said that Roundy’s wife started giving out about her. Saying ’tisn’t as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth and all. And how she thought she was a trollop with her long legs and the perfume on her and that she didn’t trust her one bit with her husband.
Hardest thing in the world to be hearing this and having to pretend to be asleep. Couldn’t even open my eyes cos Snoozie would see. I wanted to put my foot through the wall. I didn’t though. I kept on breathing nice and steady same as a fella if he was asleep.
So Roundy’s wife thought Roundy fancied Sinéad. And that Sinéad looked at him in a way that was a come on. Said that Sinéad wasn’t the nice sweet girl everyone thought she was at all. That she was a trumped up cocky little trollop. Then the Rascal said that he kept filling her glass with the brandy and that Eileen was getting thick out with the drink in her.
—By thick do you mean stupid?
—No. I mean kind of angry like. Getting thick means getting angry.
—OK.
The judge hardly understood a word Snoozie said. That’s why I’m telling it cos we’d be here all day. Plus Snoozie got a lot of stuff ass-ways. But some bits he told fine so I’ll give those bits of the court transcript.
The Little Rascal said like that she was saying that Sinéad was a little bitch and a little whore and a tart and stuff and saying she wasn’t as innocent as she looked. That as far as she was concerned she was trying to tempt Roundy. Trying to lure him like.
—Do you personally think there might have been any truth in that?
—Honestly? No. She was just good-looking. Very, very good-looking but she wasn’t a slut. Maybe Roundy and the wife were having their own troubles but it would have been nothing to do with Sinéad.
—OK. Carry on.
—Well anyhow. According to Dinky anyhow, the Rascal was given the impression that Eileen wouldn’t mind a bit if the Rascal went and taught her a lesson.
—Just a moment now. What exactly did Dinky say that Rascal told him?
—He said that the Rascal half jokingly suggested that he should go out to the toilets and teach Sinéad a bit of manners. Or put a bit of manners on her, that’s the phrase he used. According to Dinky anyway.
—Carry on.
—And then Eileen said that she’d hear nothing if he wanted to go out to her. The Rascal asked her again just to make sure and Eileen said if he went out and had his way with her that she wouldn’t hear a thing. Like that she’d let him. She was very drunk and called her a tart and then the Rascal said to her that he’d go out to the toilets so to see if she needed a hand. Said he’d Eileen’s full blessing.
—Ladies and gentlemen, this may be a little too unpleasant for some people to stomach so if anybody would like to leave the court, please feel free to do so now. Take a drink of water there for yourself, and take your time.
—Well. (The witness became emotional here.)
—It’s OK, take your time. Would you like a break?
—Ahm. I think so. Just for a minute.
—Very well. We’ll take a twenty-minute break now. Could the jury be back here at 2:50 please. We’ll adjourn now so for twenty minutes for a bit of fresh air.
The judge nodded at his registrar to look after the witness and I suppose to make sure he would be where nobody could get at him. He didn’t need to be worried because the guard who wasn’t blushing any more went to the witness stand to take him in behind to some room in behind the court someplace. There was a sickened kind of silence all around the court. Some women had tears in their eyes. Nobody at all seemed to be talking.
Outside you had the sun shining on us all like some kind of a sick joke. People looked to the sky for some kind of an explanation for what they’d heard and what they knew they were about to hear in twenty minutes. Cigarettes were smoked, a few drags at a time, as if a triple hit of nicotine would help somehow. The savvy streetwise journalists were no different from everyone else. Standing in huddled silences staring at the ground. Thought people would look at each other but most people didn’t have the stomach even for that. Like they associated people with how Sinéad suffered because it was at human hands isn’t it? And like they were ashamed of themselves as well even. For having the selfsame human hands.
I seen two of the journalists though looking at someone. And Detective Crowley was looking at someone. And so was some motherly-looking woman of about fifty that I never seen before. They all looked at someone. And it was at the same someone they all looked. And that someone was me. I was sitting on the steps of the courthouse, the tips of my fingers met at my brow, my hands were covering my face. Could see enough though, in the weird slits of the world in between my fingers. Net curtains. Can see out but you can’t see in. My father and my mother sat at either side of me and my mother rubbed my back. I know it was my mother because my father would never do that.
I’ve all the lights off here. Just a candle for Sinéad and the laptop screen and me against the darkness. And the odd bluebottle that comes for a read. Doesn’t last long with me around. Dunno what purpose bluebottles serve but they give some purpose to newspapers anyhow isn’t it? Finding it fierce slow work, this at the moment. I’d do anything else bar read what I have to read now. And this is probably my fifth time trying to get this part of the story over and done with. Sends me down it does. Way down. Dubh. The shakes first usually. Tears then. Vomiting. Then bed. Two weeks the last time. In bed like a baby. Dr Quinn just puts me on glorified sleeping tablets. Says it’s important that the brain takes it easy, in order to recover. Like you have to keep the weight off a broken leg. Says I must keep the weight off my brain. And not to write the heavy stuff until I’m ready cos it would weigh me down too much and the brain mightn’t be ready to be dealing with it yet.
The court looked the same as before. But it felt heavier and the air was thick and it made it hard to breathe.
—So whenever you’re ready so.
—Well. This is how Dinky put it anyhow. The Rascal went out to Sinéad. Sinéad screamed and he caught her by the hair and banged her head off the wall. Then the Rascal said she was putty in his hands after that. Dinky said the Rascal said that if they’re willing it takes the fun out of it.
—Excuse me. Had Teesh said anything at all during all this?
—No. He was dead quiet, far as I remember. Dead quiet. I could just see him nodding the whole time through the glass.
—I see. Carry on.
—Teesh was silent for a good while. Dinky asking him what he thought of it all, and giggling.
High-pitched giggle he has, and fast when he’s excited like a fucking chipmunk.
—See, they’d both seen that James and Sinéad were pretty much finished. They’d tried to make a go of it after he took her back but the lads were kind of mocking him for it that night like, trying to kind of make an eejit of him with smart comments and stuff. But then in came the Rascal with an Afghan scarf around his neck and James went over to him and asked him where he got it and he said Sinéad left it in his car the other night. James tried to hit him but the lads were already holding him back. Then the Rascal started taunting and jeering at James and laughing at him. James just walked straight out of the pub with Sinéad running out after him crying.
So anyhow Teesh speaks then and he says that she must have been half up for it anyhow, cos she went back for more, didn’t she? Then Dinky said she did not. That ’twas he took the scarf from behind the bar one night when Sinéad wasn’t looking and gave it to the Rascal. He said the Rascal despised James and the Kents and wanted to fuck with his head a bit, so he was well up for it when Dinky showed him the scarf. It was all part of the plan. Teesh was stunned. Just kept saying to Dinky, ‘Christ, you’re some operator. Y
ou’re some operator.’ Then he went, ‘Put it there boy,’ and Teesh shook his hands. Dinky like, he explained like . . . said he was friends with James until about a couple of years ago when he started to see through him. This is what Dinky says to Teesh like. That he started to see that James thought he was above him and looked down on him and the rest of the locals. That he didn’t really give a shit about anyone but himself and that Sinéad was lucky to be finished with him that he’d only break her heart. Was saying that they didn’t have any loyalty. That that was the difference between them and us.
—What did he mean by ‘them’?
—Ahm. The Kents, I suppose. But he said they had no loyalty because it wasn’t in their blood. They were settlers and would take what they could from you and give nothing back. He said Sinéad had a lucky escape. She’d be a lot better off with her own and he said that she’d come to see that in time. Teesh agreed. Said, ‘Of course she would.’ And that her parents would only be happy that she be finished with him and be back with her own type.
So that’s how the world got to know about what happened to poor Sinéad. In the court. Course I knew all that already cos I’d heard everything that Snoozie heard in the house that night. Just in case you’re confused. It was probably more than a few months after the actual rape happened. And Sinéad and James were back together until this night. Until the thing with the Afghan scarf. And lying on the couch in Snoozie’s house that night I was never so mad and sad. I was thinking about the Rascal. Tomato. Squish. Thinking of the torment of Sinéad made it hard to breath. Thinking of her wronged, pulling on her clothes and running out on to the dark, deserted village streets. Wronged. Going home. Wronged. Alone. Wronged. Snoozie went away up to his room to sleep. Teesh and Dinky had gone up already. I slipped out the front door. I walked and ran and walked and ran again. I’d tell James and he’d comfort her and say sorry for doubting her and he’d take her away to Dublin to start a new life. Like a new song.
The Gamal Page 27