“Only you could give me a huge fucking hard-on when I’m this pissed.”
My hand froze.
He chuckled.
I grinned. “Sorry.”
He shook his head. “No, I am.” He glanced at me as he changed lanes. “I’m sure you heard what he said. And I’m sorry. You’re not just some girl. You know that, right?”
“I hoped I wasn’t.”
“You’re not. Don’t ever think that.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“I hate that asshole. Fuck.” He slammed his hand onto his steering wheel. “I hate him.”
“It takes a lot of energy to hate people. Maybe you should just say fuck him.”
“Is that what you do?”
Though he didn’t come right out with it, I felt like the unspoken subject of the question was my mother.
I angled toward him. “You know, it kind of empowers people when you hate them. It’s a very strong emotion, and if you hate someone, you are allowing them to elicit that from you. I think some people don’t deserve my feelings. I’d rather save them for the people who do. And, really, anyone who would warrant my hate isn’t worth my time.”
He exited the highway and turned onto one of the main roads through campus. “You know, you’re pretty fucking amazing, Brinley. And you’re right. There are better emotions than hate.”
Back at my dorm, Ryder walked me upstairs. I leaned against the wall outside my room and he rested his hand above my head. On my tiptoes, I kissed him and he grinned down at me.
“See you tomorrow?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’m planning on studying at the library tomorrow after class. But we can meet for lunch before.”
“What, you think I don’t study?” He frowned. “Oh, wait, you assumed I’m also gifted with natural intelligence.”
I kept my expression serious. “You’re not?”
“Well, actually, again, yes, I am. But sometimes I like to read the textbooks—you know, for fun.”
“In that case, if you want to read for fun, you’re welcome to join me.” I opened my room door and slipped inside.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned forward and planted a kiss on the top of my head.
A flash of light drew my attention away from him.
Fallon sat at her desk with her phone and a grin. “So when’s the honeymoon?”
“Did you just take a picture?” I asked.
“I needed to capture this moment, you know, for the wedding album.”
“You’re hilarious,” I said, my cheeks warming.
“Can I see it?” Ryder asked as he walked over to Fallon. She handed him her phone and he smiled. “Mind sending it to me?”
“No problem. What’s your number?”
He handed the phone back so she could type in his number.
A moment later, his phone chimed and he glanced at the screen. “Nice. Thanks.” He tucked it in his pocket and strolled out of the room. “See you later.”
His crooked smile was ridiculous. No one should be that freaking hot.
When I didn’t respond, he chuckled.
I snapped out of my trance. “Bye,” I muttered, and shut the door behind him.
“Oh my God,” Fallon snorted. “You’ve got it bad.”
I plopped on the bed and sighed. “Do you blame me?”
“Actually, no. He’s delectable. I think someone needs to clone him and turn him into a sex toy. Like a live-action one. My birthday’s in a month, so feel free to snag some of his DNA and see what you can do to make that happen. Put that biology degree to good use.”
I laughed. “Yeah, okay. Ryder sex toy. On it.”
“I knew rooming with you would eventually pay off.” She stuffed her laptop into her messenger bag. “I need to get going. I’m meeting Leena for coffee. Want to come?”
“Thanks, but I’m going to catch up on some work and call it an early night. I’m exhausted.”
“I bet. You little slut. Here I’ve spent the whole weekend prepping for that damn internship interview and you were off being fucked senseless. Ugh, so not fair.”
“That’s right! When’s your interview?”
“Wednesday. But no talking about it. Bad karma.”
“Oh, sorry. I forgot.” I mimed zipping my lips.
“See you later.” She grinned and opened the door.
Mason stood there with his hand up, prepared to knock. “Hey.” Lowering it, he stepped in as she left the room.
“Hey.”
“How’s your grandma?”
“She’s recovering. She should be released today.”
“That’s good.” Mason sat on my bed and stared at my bookshelf. “I came by to check on you last night, but you weren’t here.”
The lavender polish was chipping on my nails. I picked at it, flicking off small pieces. “Um, I didn’t come home last night.”
“So you were with Ryder this weekend?”
I nodded, figuring I might as well get it all out. Mason didn’t seem to have plans to drop the conversation. “We stayed at his parents’ house. It’s closer to the hospital.” That wasn’t a total lie.
“You met his family?”
“His parents were out of town but his stepdad came home early. I met him this morning.” Again, not a total lie.
Mason chewed the inside of his cheek as he processed what I’d said. “So, you two are pretty serious?”
“I told you we were dating.”
“Hmm, yeah.” He tilted his head to the side and popped his neck. He clenched his jaw and tapped his fingers. “Did you sleep with him?”
“Mason, you’re my best friend and I want to be able to talk with you but if you’re going to get weird about things…”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. Look, tell me what you want and I promise to be cool. I just hope you don’t feel like you have to keep secrets from me. But I get it, and if it makes you uncomfortable sharing this kind of stuff, you don’t have to.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “It’s hard, you know. Things are already changing. We’re growing apart.”
He didn’t know I’d heard what he’d told Ryder the day before, but it all made even more sense now. This wasn’t just about his distrust of Ryder, it was the fear of where our friendship was headed. And he was right, things had changed lately, but my feelings toward him hadn’t.
I sat next to him on the bed and leaned my head on his shoulder. “You’ll always be my best friend. No one could ever replace you.”
“Obviously.”
I laughed.
“And the feeling is mutual,” he said. “Now, my roommate is being an annoying dick and I need a nap.” He made himself comfortable sprawled across my bed, and patted the spot next to him.
I tucked into him and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. “Okay, so tell me the real story about your grandma. No more ‘she’s fine.’ That may be the quick answer, but it’s not the true answer. How are you handling things? Was your mom there?”
I’d done a good job keeping most of my emotions locked away, but now, with Mason here, I let it all out. And he listened with a level of understanding nobody else could have, confirming my feelings about my best friend. He was irreplaceable.
—
The next day Ryder walked me back to my room after studying at the library. Though he was a huge distraction, I also discovered he was extremely smart. His being so damn perfect was giving me a complex and only made my crush that much harder.
Fallon sat on her bed, gnawing her fingernail. She slammed her laptop shut when I stepped through the door. She glanced at Ryder, narrowed her eyes, then stared at me. “We need to talk,” she blurted.
“Um, sure.” I faced Ryder. “See you later.”
Fallon made a sound of disgust and we both glanced at her. She shook her head and turned her back to us, while hugging her laptop to her chest.
I shrugged at Ryder and he smiled.
“See you tomorrow.” He waved then disappea
red down the hall.
“What’s up?” I plopped onto my bed and kicked off my flip-flops.
“First off, let me just say I’m really sorry. I know you like him a lot. But I think you deserve the truth and, well, I’d rather you hear it from me before it’s blasted all over campus.”
“What in the world are you talking about?” My bed bounced as I reached for my pillow and tucked it into my lap.
“Remember my friend Mel?”
“Yeah, the one I met at the frat party. Her roommate was the dance major. Leena, right?”
“Yeah, that’s them. Well, Mel is a staff writer for The Sutton Star and they are covering some big campus scandal. It makes the university look bad since it involves students, so they are, of course, eating it up at the paper.” She sat on her bed, across from me. “It seems a large group of guys are participating in a competition and running a website where they track what they are doing. Someone outed them. Turned over the website login and everything, giving the paper full access to the site.”
“What kind of competition?”
“They are ranking female students and competing with one another over them to earn points.”
“Like that website that ranked people on looks?”
“Sort of, but in this case they get points for getting into girls’ pants.”
My palms dampened and my pulse sped. “Any girl?”
“No, specific girls. They are added and then ranked. Based on their level of attractiveness, they are assigned a point value.”
My stomach churned. “So, like, a guy sleeps with a girl then the other guys decide how many points she’s worth?”
“Um, no. Girls get added then guys compete to see who can sleep with her first. It’s crazy how involved this is, but they have an elaborate point system with bonus points and everything.” She stared at her hands, then at me. “There are points for sex in unusual places, more than once in a twenty-four period, everything. Even virgin bonus points.”
I swallowed. “Places like…your parents’ house?”
She didn’t make eye contact as she said, “Maybe. I don’t remember all the details.”
My entire body felt numb, yet my insides quaked. My stomach rolled with anxiety and my heart sat heavy in my chest. “Is Ryder a part of this group?”
She frowned as she reached for her laptop. “Mel emailed me these. I just wanted you to see them for yourself. When the story goes live, the website will probably disappear but the paper took screen shots. When they run the article, faces will be blurred in these photos but…well, see for yourself.”
She handed me her laptop and I stared at a picture of myself. I had no idea where it came from or when it was even taken. It was a candid shot, maybe when I was in conversation with someone. I was wearing a sweater my grandma had given me for Christmas, so it had to be in January. Next to my photo was my name and stats. It had my age, my classification as freshman, a point value based on “hotness” and then the word “bonus,” followed by the word “virgin.”
My eyes welled as I continued down to another picture. Conquered was stamped over it in red block letters. This picture I recognized though. It was the one Fallon had taken of Ryder and me yesterday.
Under the picture it had several numbers and a grand total followed by the user name RBriggs. Along the left sidebar was the caption “Leaderboard” and topping the list was RBriggs.
I shook my head. “This is fucked-up. I mean, who does this? It’s elaborate and…I’m going to be sick.” I pushed the laptop onto my bed and paced across the room several times. “When—when does this story come out?”
“Thursday.”
“So all along I was…a game. I’m a fucking game to him?” Tears streamed down my face as I balled my hands into fists. “What kind of sick assholes do this?”
“The website is registered to some guy who lives in Ryder’s dorm.”
“Marcus?”
“Yeah. That’s his name.”
Unbelievable. “He’s the techie Noah told me about. Wait, is Noah involved?”
“Is his last name Price?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Check the leaderboard.”
On the leaderboard, under Ryder’s username was NoPrice. “That’s what this was about. All along. The arguments. Everything. They were arguing about this right in front of me. Noah tried to warn me. He said something about me not being special. He even made a comment about Ryder winning. I’m such an idiot.” I slammed down onto my desk chair and buried my face in my hands.
“You couldn’t have known. I’m sorry. Really I am. Ryder seemed like a nice guy. He fooled everyone.”
“Print that out for me,” I croaked.
“What?”
“Print me a copy of what you just showed me, please.”
She grabbed her laptop and a second later the printer spit out a sheet. I snatched it and grabbed my phone.
“Where are you going?”
“To congratulate the winner.”
“I’m coming with you.” Fallon followed me into the hall.
I wiped my eyes dry and swallowed all my emotions, determined not to let Ryder see me crying over this, and stormed to his dorm. The entire walk my mind swirled. I went from angry to hurt, back to seething rage. Thankfully, at the time we arrived I was furious. I’d be damned if that asshole saw me cry over him. Over this.
Fallon stood behind me with her arms crossed as I banged on Ryder’s door. It swung open and Ryder stood there with no shirt on, his hair damp. A few darkened strands dangled over his green eyes. What would have thrilled me a few hours ago only disgusted me now.
“Hey,” he said with a smile, then his eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong?”
I held the paper up. “Congratulations, asshole.”
Ryder stared at the paper for a second then his expression sank.
I shoved it into his chest. “You know how I said nobody is worth wasting emotions like hate on? Well, I’ve changed my mind. I fucking hate you.”
He flinched.
My throat was dry and I swallowed. “With every ounce of my being, I hate you.” I spun and marched away as the tears spilled down my cheeks.
Chapter Fifteen
I skipped class on Tuesday and chose to stay in bed all day. I’d mentally recounted every moment with Ryder leading up to having sex with him. He’d warned me that he was no good but I’d fallen for him anyway. He’d played me well. The more he’d pushed me away, the more I’d wanted him.
I’d like to believe he’d really had feelings for me. That he’d tried not to hurt me, but then I remembered the leaderboard. Guys didn’t get to the top without screwing a lot of girls. Clearly he’d worked hard to get there and I was just a hurdle in the race. The night he chose me over Cassidy was probably when he realized I was a virgin. Of course he’d wanted me in his bed. That girl wasn’t worth as many points as stupid little me. And the night he found me outside with Noah, he wasn’t looking for me. He was preventing his roommate from surpassing him in their fucked-up little game.
I pulled my blanket over my head and choked back tears. Refusing to cry over him. My phone rang. I’d already talked to Grandma today who was back home and doing well, but just in case it was her, I glanced at the screen. It was Mason. I ignored the call, embarrassed to admit to him he was right about Ryder.
A knock pounded on the door. “Open up, Brinley. I know you’re in there. I heard your phone ringing.”
I threw back the blanket and stared at the ceiling. Sneaky bastard.
I slogged to the door and cracked it open. “I’m sick. Probably contagious. You shouldn’t come in.”
“Bullshit.” Mason pushed past, strolling into my room. “What’s going on? You haven’t answered my calls or texts and you skipped today.”
How did he know?
“I waited outside your class, don’t even try to lie.”
“I’m sick.”
“You had the flu this fall and still
managed to text me. So what’s up?”
I sighed and sank back onto my bed. “I’ll tell you, but if the words ‘I told you so’ come out of your mouth, so help me God I will castrate you.”
“Whoa. Damn girl, when did you get all violent?” He smiled but I only crossed my arms. “Um, okay, you’re serious.”
“Have you ever heard guys talk about some kind of website where they get points for sleeping with girls?”
“A week ago a guy in my Spanish class mentioned something about it. He said it was invite only and asked if I was interested. I didn’t take him too serious. I thought he was bullshitting me. He’s always bragging about hooking up with girls so I thought he was just trying to sound like a big shit.”
“It’s real.”
His face blanched. “What does this have to do with you?”
My eyes welled and I looked down.
“Please tell me you’re not on this website.”
I shrugged and glanced at him. A tear sprang loose and rolled down my cheek. I wiped it away.
His shoulders sank. “Ryder?”
My lip trembled and I nodded.
“And you had sex with him.”
He said it like a statement not a question, so I didn’t bother answering.
I pulled my knees to my chest. “Worst part, someone ratted out the website to The Sutton Star. They have this whole exposé on it. They’re hiding the identity of the girls but they are outing the guys involved. They want the website shut down, and to publicly humiliate them, I guess. Though somehow I don’t think they will be humiliated. Just the girls. We’re the ones who look stupid.”
“They can’t run this story,” he said.
“It will be in Thursday’s paper.”
“No. They can’t. I mean, sure, this website needs to be shut down, but you’re right, the only people paying for it are the girls. Guys like this will eat it up. That’s the point, right? Bragging rights. What’s bigger than the school paper?”
“Maybe they will face some sort of academic punishment.” I shrugged. “I’m sure it goes against our code of ethics.”
Just a Little Crush (Crush #1) Page 17