David nodded. 'I completely understand.'
Jared rose, reached down to take her hand and pulled her to her feet. 'By your leave, my lord?'
Already lusdng after the apple tart before him, David waved them from the table.
Lea fumed silently until they reached the upper landing. Once she was certain they were out of sight, she pulled free of Jared's hold. 'Now that you've succeeded in making them all wonder if we're lovers, you can do me the honour of going away.'
He only laughed before placing his hand against the small of her back and leaning closer to remind her, 'We need to talk.'
Talk? Lea blinked at the warmth of his touch. He'd acted like an ogre at the table. She should be screaming, pushing him away, calling out for help.
So why did the semi-darkness of the corridor make her want to lean against him? And why did his touch feel so warm and inviting instead of repulsing her?
She moved away, breaking the contact along with the odd spell that had momentarily fallen over her.
'You are mistaken, Jared.' She turned to face him. 'We have nothing to talk about.'
He took a step towards her until her back was against the wall. With his lips mere inches from hers, he asked, 'No?'
Lea shook her head. 'No. Nothing.'
Jared placed the palm of his hand against her stomach. 'I think it's about time we discuss my child, don't you?'
Chapter Sixteen
How did he find out? He couldn't be certain. This was a trick.
He was daring her to slip up, to admit she was carrying his child.
Lea knew that unless she admitted the truth, he would never be able to prove anything. She took a slow, steadying breath, then said, 'You have had too much wine.'
'Oh, really?'
He pulled her away from the wall, and led her by the hand into her chamber.
'What are you doing? You can't be in here.'
'Who will stop me?' He leaned against the door, barring any escape.
'I'll scream.'
He waved a hand in the air. 'If that pleases you.'
His words were light, his tone too controlled, as if every word was measured. She studied him, trying to determine his mood.
Lea gasped, then backed away from the rage evident in his returned stare.
Jared wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled. But that would satisfy no one. If she thought for one single heartbeat that she was going to lie her way out of this, she was sadly mistaken.
He'd watched her closely these last few days. Who did she think she was fooling? Didn't she hear the whispered
conversations in the hall? Didn't she see the looks when she entered a room?
'You may as well give up. Lea. I know you are carrying a child and I know that child is mine.'
She shook her head. 'You're wrong, Jared.'
'I'm wrong about what? Your pregnancy? The child being mine?' He laughed. 'You'd rather try to convince me that you're a whore than admit the truth?'
'There's no truth to admit.'
It was rather amazing how brazen she could be at times. He didn't know too many warriors who would stand there and repeatedly lie to his face. Yet this woman thought to face him down.
At another time the idea might intrigue him, but not now. The only thing he wanted from her now was the truth.
'My mother used to be sick in the morning when she carried Isabella. By mid-morning she was no longer ill.'
'I—
'Don't.' He stormed across the chamber, stopping directly in front of her. 'You of all people have the gall to bear a bastard?'
'What are you—?'
'Cease.' He'd had enough. Jared grasped her arms. 'Listen to me and listen well. I know you're pregnant, Lea. And I know the child is mine.'
She tried to tug free of his hold, but he slid his arms around her, pulling her close. 'You were too good to wed the son of a bastard, but you think it acceptable to bear one?'
'I never—'
'Never what, Lea? Never intended to wed me in the first place? Never meant to let it go that far?'
She struggled against him, shouting, 'What are you talking about? I loved you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.'
'Yes, I could tell.' Memories of the blow she'd delivered to his heart swept over him. He couldn't have kept the sneer out of his tone had he tried. 'It was most apparent the day you called everything off.'
'I couldn't marry you. I explained that.'
'That you did. It was rather surprising to discover that after two years of courting you couldn't bring yourself to wed the son of a bastard.'
'I never—'
He cupped her cheek, stopping her denial with his thumb against her lips. 'And once again here we are, the night before our wedding. Except this dme, we're both tainted. I carry a bastard's blood and you carry a bastard.'
A dozen or more angry words flitted across her mind. Countless curses were at hand, ready and willing to drip from her tongue. But something—Lea stared deeper into his gaze— something hiding behind his anger stopped her.
She whispered past his touch, 'I do not carry a bastard. His father is dead.'
Jared pulled away from her. 'You would rather lie than sully my own child with my name?'
His harsh question took her breath away. She'd once loved him—dearly. And if she wasn't seeing things, if her mind and heart weren't playing tricks on her, what she saw lurking beneath his anger was pain.
That this warrior standing before her could be hurt was unfathomable. She didn't know what to say, or what to do. Had
she hurt him this badly? Had he carried this anger, this pain, all these years? Her mind was awhirl with too many questions.
When she didn't answer, he glared down at her. 'I won't let you do that. We will be wed in the morning. And this time your father isn't here to deliver your viperous missive.'
Viperous missive? She had poured her heart out in that missive, agonising over each word. She'd apologised over and over again, trying to make him see her reasons for calling off their marriage.
Lea reached towards him, pulling her arm back when he jerked away. 'Jared, I don't know what you're talking about. I never sent you anything close to a viperous missive.'
Truth be told, she'd never understood why he hadn't stormed Montreau demanding she wed him regardless of her misgivings. She'd eventually come to assume that he had never truly loved her in the way he'd so often claimed.
'What would you call it, Lea? A love letter? A fond farewell?'
She couldn't remember the exact wording any longer. But she would never forget the gist of her decision. 'Phillip had just been killed. I don't know what I was feeling other than horror and loss.
Jared, I couldn't bear the thought of going through that again. And if I wed you, I knew that day would eventually come.'
His frown deepened. 'What does Phillip's death have to do with this?'
'Everything!' Shocked, Lea shouted, 'It had everything to with it. Everything. I could not bring myself to marry a warrior.' She swallowed, trying to retain a measure of calmness in this insanity.
'No matter how much I loved you, I couldn't do it,
Jared. When you didn't come to demand an explanation in person, I thought you understood, and that it didn't matter.'
He rubbed his forehead. 'Come to Montreau? After you begged me to stay away?'
'No.' Lea shook her head. 'I wrote no such thing.'
Jared strode into the small alcove off the side of the chamber. She heard a rusde as if he were digging through a saddlebag, or sack.
When he came back into the main chamber, he held out a tattered missive. 'How can you lie so when I have proof? Not one word in here refers to your brother.'
She took the message from his hand and stared at the handwriting. The floor dlted beneath her, forcing Lea to reach out and blindly seek a place to sit before she fell down.
She sat on the edge of the bed. Her father's familiar handwriting swirled before her eyes. Once he
r disbelief faded, she read the missive again and again.
Her father hadn't delivered her missive. Jared had never seen her words, her reasoning. He didn't know how much she had loved him. Or how impossible it would have been to wed him. He'd spent all these years believing that she thought so little of him.
Her throat tightened as she tried to fight the tears wanting to escape. How could her father have done this? What had he been thinking?
She sighed. He hadn't been thinking. He had been so far lost in grief for his only son that his mind wasn't clear enough to think of anything except to make certain his only surviving child would not wed a warrior.
And she'd been too lost in her own sorrow to realise how devastated he had been, or what he'd done.
Jared frowned. Something wasn't right. Lea appeared genuinely shocked by the missive. The shimmer of tears in her eyes wasn't fabricated.
'I didn't write this.' She placed the weathered parchment on the bed, and then folded her hands on her lap. 'It came from my father, not me.'
'What difference does that make?' He'd spent too many years believing those words were hers for him to think otherwise now. 'So he wrote it for you.'
'I never needed my father to write anything for me. I did not give him this, Jared. These are not my words, not my reasoning.'
'How am I supposed to believe you?'
'I don't know.' She looked down at her clenched hands. 'Did I ever make even the smallest complaint about your father's birth? Did I ever do anything to make you think it mattered to me?'
Her voice was soft, her questions broken. Uncertain, Jared walked to the window embrasure and stared out at the darkening sky. 'You don't think that letter was enough?'
'Before then. Did I do or say anything before then?'
'No. But that doesn't mean you hadn't thought about it.'
'Jared, please, I'm not lying to you.'
A small part of him actually believed her—but his mind held fast. 'How would I know, Lea? That missive is the only thing I had. It was the only thing I could believe.'
'It was my father's lie.'
'It would be hard for me to prove that true or false, wouldn't it?'
'I never wrote that note. Those words came from a grieving father. But you are correct, there is no way to prove anything. All I have is my word, Jared.'
'Your word?' He dragged a hand through his hair before pulling another missive from inside his tunic.
'A moment ago you stated the child was Villaire's.'
When she opened her mouth to respond, he raised a hand. 'No, let me finish.'
To his amazement Lea closed her mouth and nodded.
He crossed the chamber to stand before her. Jared wanted to see every nuance of her response.
'You were willing to lie to me and the world about the baby's father. Why? If what you say is true, and your father's missive was a lie, why would you think to deny me my child?'
'I can't marry you.'
He detected no subterfuge in her simple answer. Whatever her mistaken reasoning, she honestly believed it was true.
'You've forfeited the choice, but that isn't what I asked you. How am I supposed to trust your word, if you're so willing to let our child live a lie?'
Lea wanted to lie down on the bed and sob. How was she going to answer him? Whatever she said would sound crass, or widess. What did that matter now?
'Can't you think of an answer?' He dropped another missive on her lap. 'You don't need to, I know why.'
It took one glance to know what damning evidence she held in her hand. Lea closed her eyes and let King Stephen's note flutter to the floor.
She stared up at him. 'Yes. I had planned on using you to keep Montreau.'
'Only planned?' The expression of disbelief and disgust on his face made her look away in shame.
'It's obvious you did more than plan.'
'No. You're wrong. I had changed my mind. I'd hoped the empress would call you away soon, giving me time to find someone to father my child.'
'And claim it was Villaire's?'
'Yes.'
Jared shook his head. 'I don't believe you. It makes no sense. Why would you sleep with a stranger you didn't know and risk physical danger, rather than someone you knew wouldn't harm you?'
He had no idea how much harm he could do to her. Not physically—she knew he'd never seek to hurt her body. But the pain this man could cause her would hurt more than any physical injury.
'Will you answer me?'
His clipped tone let her know that his padence was growing thin. Lea rose and skirted around him to pace before the window. She couldn't just sit there on the bed and willingly tear out her own heart with her hands.
'I had always dreamed of having your child. Always.' She paused to look out at the stars. 'A baby born of love, one who would bind us as a family.'
Lea turned to glance at him before once again pacing. Oddly enough, he didn't appear surprised by her admission.
'Your family, your parents, were proof that not all marriages were like my mother and father's. I wanted what your family had, for our marriage to be like theirs.'
To her relief, Jared remained silent.
'But I knew that was never going to happen.' She raised her hand. 'My fault, I know that. But when I received Stephen's threat, I knew the only way to retain Montreau, without being forced into a marriage that would only end up a repeat of what I had with Charles, would be to have a child. At first I was certain I could dupe you to get what I needed.'
'And it worked, didn't it, Lea?'
'No. Once you were there, I knew I couldn't go through with it.'
'But you did.'
'No, Jared, I didn't.' She stopped pacing to look at him. 'Touching you, kissing you, made me realise that what I had planned was wrong. I couldn't conceive a child with you—not that way.
Not without love.'
He raised one eyebrow. 'I don't remember you worrying about conception at the time.'
'Nor did you.' Her face flamed, but she ploughed ahead. 'Blame that on lust.'
'It matters not what we blame it on, you are pregnant.' He grasped her wrist and pulled her close.
'With my child. You will marry me, Lea.'
'No.' She buried her face against his chest. 'Don't you understand? I can't marry you.'
'You were willing to whore yourself to retain possession of a keep—a pile of stone—but you refuse to make an honest woman of yourself—for a child.' He tugged her hair, forcing her to look up at him. 'When did you become so coarse and vulgar, Lea?'
'Montreau is all I have.'
'Is that what you planned to tell our child about his father one day? That Montreau was so important that you spread your legs for the first available man?'
Lea gasped. She'd been right. This man could hurt her more with words than another could with his fists. She pushed against his chest. 'Let me go.'
Jared released her immediately. 'Does the truth make you feel guilty? Perhaps ashamed of yourself?' He paused long enough for her to respond. When she didn't, he added, 'It should.'
'How dare you! You know nothing about my life, or about me.'
'I would dare much when it comes to the mother of my child.'
' Your child? I'm fairly certain you aren't the one carrying a child.'
'So you finally admit that you are pregnant.'
He hadn't phrased his statement as a question, so she didn't respond. He hadn't asked why she couldn't marry him. Apparently, her reasoning didn't matter. 'And I'm positive you aren't my husband, or my guardian.'
'I will be.'
Jared pulled a ring off his finger and grabbed her wrist. When she couldn't pull free, Lea curled her fingers into a fist. The useless act didn't stop him from having his way. She had not the strength to prevent him from uncurling the ring finger on her left hand.
'No, Jared, don't. I am not going to wed you.'
He ignored her and slid the Warehaven signet ring on to her finger. 'I will be your husband i
n the morning.'
Before she could voice her indignation at his high-handed actions, he warned, 'You have no choice in this. You can wed me. Or, once the babe is born, I will take the child and throw you out of Montreau by force.'
Speechless that he would even consider something that cruel, she mutely stared up at him.
Sdll holding her wrist, he pulled her closer and leaned forwards, to brush his lips against hers, whispering, 'I am certain the life of a whore will suit you quite well.'
Lea jerked out of Jared's hold, tore his ring from her finger and threw it at him. 'Get out of my chamber!'
He crossed his arms against his chest and shook his head. 'Our chamber.'
A blaze of anger clouded her vision. 'If you don't leave, I will.'
When he didn't move, Lea rushed for the door. 'I am not staying in here with you.'
Chapter Seventeen
Lea flung open the chamber door, prepared to storm out, but instead she walked into King David.
'Going somewhere?'
'Yes. I am going home—to Montreau.'
He grasped her shoulders to turn her around, then gently pushed her back inside the chamber.
'You'll return to Montreau when your husband gives you leave to do so.'
Had he lost the ability to reason also? 'I am nof married.'
'You will be on the morrow.'
She stepped away to spin round and face him. 'Have the two of you been in some type of accident that caused you both to lose your common sense at the same dme?'
David reached behind him to slam the door closed before replying. When he focused his attention back on her, Lea forced herself not to back away from the anger evident in his scowling expression.
He could be as angry at her insolence as he wished. She wasn't changing her mind on this matter.
She could not—she would jeopardise Montreau's safety by wedding a warrior, no matter the reason.
If they wished to call her a whore for seeking to protect her keep and her people, so be it.
'This wouldn't be an argument if your father were still alive.' The king didn't wait for her response. 'If he knew you were carrying a child outside of marriage, he'd be more than enraged, he'd be ashamed of you.'
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