“You don’t agree with anything they’re doing right now, do you?” she asked with nothing more than a gut feeling.
“No, not at all. I might have all those things, but I take my job and my life seriously. I have coping mechanisms in place that they fuckin’ taught me. I don’t deserve to be forced out. I worked hard and gave them one hundred percent of myself. And hell, they’re the ones that put me in the worst parts of the world…” He stopped speaking, clearly getting himself worked up. She could see the anger building. Normally that would have made her nervous. She didn’t do well with fury coming at her, but for some reason that didn’t seem to apply with this man. She moved her body, straddling his legs as she faced off with him.
“Keep talking, Connor. Let me help.”
He did that eye-scanning thing, looking at every part of her face again, and she simply waited for him to continue. His fingers caressing up her side to the curve of her breast told her where his thoughts had gone. “It’s hard to talk to you naked like this.”
“Try,” she encouraged.
Connor sighed, but did as she’d asked.
“I’ve spent much of the last few years in Syria. I fought, but mostly trained troops in other countries,” he explained. His palms circled her breasts and his thumbs slid across her nipples, but she ignored that, trying to keep him talking.
“So you’re extreme special forces?” she asked, surprised at his calm demeanor. She couldn’t imagine what he might have seen or the stress he’d been under while deployed.
“Pretty much. It’s why my commander fought so hard for me.” There were definitely holes in his story that would need filling, but not now, she just wanted him talking. She didn’t need specifics, only to show him she could bear some of his burden. Her hands moved over his shoulders, cupping his thick neck, and she placed a light kiss on the corner of his mouth.
“So something happened that caused them to doubt your ability?”
“Not even that.” That question seemed to change the calm dialog they had shared. Connor got agitated, and he moved her off him, then reached for his jeans, pulling them on commando. The muscles in his back and arms tensed, the cords on his neck tightened. She waited, feeling her own light mood slipping away as anxiety filled her. “It was a Turkish motherfucker who wanted me to kill just to kill, to teach that to his troops. He got a kick out of controlling the SEALs. I didn’t take the shot he ordered me too and he reported me.”
Connor entered the bathroom as he finished that sentence. She didn’t suspect he was coming back, so she rose and gathered her clothes. He’d cleaned himself up earlier when they’d remembered the condom, but she hadn’t. As comfortable as he made her, she didn’t like being the only one naked, so she grabbed the white T-shirt he’d worn under his sweater and put it on instead. She schooled her features and waited in the open bathroom door. When the sink faucet turned off, he tossed his toothbrush in a drawer and then finally cast his frustrated gaze to her.
“They brought me home on some R&R bullshit, then tested me because the brass believed the Turkey ambassador’s report of the events. My removal’s all political—nothing else.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, not mentioning the seriousness of a PTSD diagnosis. Connor’s jerking movements halted as he approached Julia slowly until he stood directly in front of her.
“I’m… Well, I’m a lot of things. I’ve probably got PTSD. I can’t imagine I wouldn’t because of the situations I’ve been in, but I’m not down and I’m certainly not brain damaged. I’ll work through the PTSD as soon as I get through these next few weeks,” he explained very reasonably.
She nodded, unsure how to respond. For her, she wanted to offer up the money and her name…anything to give him the connections he needed for the mental health professionals to take a good look at him. He just didn’t seem the type to accept her help. She moved to the side, letting him out of the bathroom, but turned in order to stay facing him. He grabbed his sweater and started to shrug it on, but stopped. Instead, he went for his dresser, opened a drawer, and grabbed another T-shirt.
“Do you want this one?” she asked, pointing to his white T-shirt she wore. He turned back to her, his sad eyes roamed her body, and he tossed the new T-shirt on top of his dresser.
“You keep wearing that. I like it on you,” he said, that special look he gave tugged at her heartstrings. Seconds later, the look turned heated, but he did that same thing he’d done the morning they’d woken together at the hotel. She could see the strength of his mind in the way he cleared his thoughts. The lust turned into resolve, and he pointed toward the bedroom door. “I’m going to cook. Feed you, so you’re not on the road too late.”
That made her smile. “Trying to get rid of me?”
“Never. You can stay the night and I’ll drive you back in the morning. You can trust that you’re safe with me. I promise I can protect you,” he said offhandedly.
He left before she had a chance to respond. She was certain he could take care of her. Julia grinned and ducked inside the bathroom. He made her feel good. What a seriously rare gift he had.
~~~
“Are you certain you like your steak medium-well? I’m pretty sure that goes against all things right in our universe,” Connor teased, grinning over her.
Julie huddled under a thick fleece blanket. By her own admission, she was freezing even with the fire pit going a few feet away and a heavy blanket wrapped around her. Julie had refused to let him move the dinner inside or to put on any more clothing than his T-shirt. It was a sweet gesture—one he liked more than he wanted to admit, because she claimed his cologne lingered on the shirt. Sweet but nuts in his opinion. He wore his lightweight sweater and still added a windbreaker. The cool front had blown through in a big way, dropping the temperature into the low fifties.
She gave a gagging expression while drawing her knees up to her chest, wrapping her blanket-covered arms around her legs. “I can’t believe you eat it rare. That might be a deal breaker in our budding relationship.”
He laughed at her, pulling her steak off the grill, putting it on her plate. She’d made it clear—no blood was to touch her thoroughly cooked piece of meat. Connor grinned to himself at the very emphatic side to his easygoing girl.
“I don’t know what this will taste like. I’ve never cooked a steak this long before.” He picked up both plates and moved toward the table while chuckling at his own joke. When he put the plate in front of her and went for the seat next to her, her playfully indignant gaze met his and her lips turned pouty.
“I thought you were sitting here with me to keep me warm,” she said, dropping her feet to the patio floor.
“You want me to do that while we eat?” he asked, using a hand on each chair arm to stop himself midway down.
“Of course!” she declared, bounding up.
“Okay, okay, let me cut this, first,” he said, sitting and reaching for his cutlery. “What if some of the juice drops on you?”
“You mean the blood?” she asked. He stopped seconds before he made his first cut into the meat and looked at her. She was still standing, but now she looked horrified. God, she was a cute thing.
“Yeah, what if it drops on you with all your rules that no juice can come in contact with your food,” he explained, quickly making his cuts.
“I’ll put napkins down.” She shrugged. “I like your arms around me. They’re like as big as my thighs.” She reached over to scoop the baked beans and salad onto her plate. When she got hers full, she began to put some on his plate.
“I think my biceps are actually bigger than your thighs. You’ve got little skinny legs,” he said, pushing out of his chair.
She stopped with the tongs full of lettuce close to his plate.
“Are you saying I have chicken sticks for legs?” she asked accusingly. That look of indignation might have actually been real. He laughed again, pushing his plate closer to hers as he moved.
“Calm down. You know I think you’re p
erfect. My bicep measured right at twenty-one inches on my last exam. I’m not sure your thighs are that big,” he said, lifting both his hands. After a second, she continued to move the tongs, adding the salad to his plate. He guessed he’d gotten the answer correct when she stepped aside to let him in her seat.
The chair fit his frame perfectly, and she snuggled down, sitting across his lap, making sure the blanket covered her completely. He reached out and scooted the table closer to them, rather than attempting to move the chair forward the few inches. He absolutely wasn’t complaining. She’d come up with the idea that they sit together when he’d first lit the grill. It was a disaster waiting to happen, and there was no way they’d eat much dinner sitting like this, but he liked having her close. She was a breath of fresh air every time he had the privilege of talking to her.
The nagging guilt didn’t seem to matter. It wasn’t fair at all to Julie to start a relationship now, but dammit, he didn’t want to let her go.
She stuck an arm out of the perfect cocoon she’d created around her body and reached for the roll of paper towels. She unrolled too many before she laid them across her blanket, then moved his plate closer to him and handed him his fork. He laughed when she placed her plate on her lap, and began arranging her food perfectly so nothing touched and then began to dive in.
“You don’t seem as cold as a few minutes ago,” he observed. The blanket had fallen off half the side of her body as she cut her steak and took a bite.
“You warm me up nicely,” she said. When she swallowed the steak, she beamed at him. “It’s delicious, Connor.”
Julie reached over, speared a huge chunk of salad, and opened her mouth wide to get it all inside. He wasn’t sure he’d ever thought the word adorable as much as he had when he was with her, but she just was. She turned back to him while chewing and gave him a quizzical look. She swallowed and brought the side of a paper towels to her lips as she spoke. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“I’m watching you.” That seemed to make zero sense to her. She took his fork from his hand and speared a piece of his steak. She carefully led the piece to his mouth over one of the towels she’d placed over the blanket. She stopped and cringed just shy of his mouth.
“Don’t make me watch you eat it.”
He took the fork and guided it between his lips. She couldn’t go the distance, which made him want to smile even more. He reached for another bite as she did the same with the steak on her plate. “It’s incredible and so tender. Connor, you can cook!”
He liked her praise. He enjoyed cooking as a whole. When she took another bite, she rolled her eyes and her gaze landed on his. “This might be the best steak I’ve ever eaten.”
“Oh, come on now,” he said, doubting her.
“Honest to God’s truth. It’s incredible.” Just like with everything, her words seemed genuine and caressed his heart. That happiness inside him welled again, and he leaned in, kissing her full mouth.
“Thank you for coming down tonight. You make me forget everything. I feel normal, like nothing’s changed,” he said without any probing on her part. He seemed to do that a lot with her—talk more than he ever had with anyone, even Cole, and that said a lot. Her response was to stare at him and continue to chew, taking the bite she had on her fork after she swallowed. Her blanket had fallen to her waist—apparently she was no longer cold—and she lifted a paper towel, wiping at her lips while looking very serious.
“You should know, I can’t cook at all. If this continues between us, you can’t hope that we’ll cook together because it just doesn’t work for me. I try. I swear I do, but simple instructions must be hard for me. I can mess up a recipe every single time.” She nodded for good measure as she reached over for another bite of the salad.
He nodded at her seriousness. “Noted.”
“But if this does continue, I’m going to be eating really well. Does this same skill apply outside of the grill?” she asked, adding another bite of salad to her mouth.
“Why are you throwing shade at the grill?” he asked mockingly. That had her covering her full mouth, laughing at his indignation. He’d never laughed and teased with a woman like he did with Julie.
“It is shocking, isn’t it, that some people cook in the kitchen?”
“I’ve made some other dishes. I like cooking. It’s kind of what I do in my free time. Weird, huh?” he said, losing all interest in his food to the woman sitting in his lap.
She looked at him like he was crazy, so it surprised him when she said, “Not at all weird! You’re very talented. The beans are perfect; the salad mix is wonderful. Did you make this salad dressing?”
“Are you sure you’re not making fun of me?” he asked before answering that question.
“No! It’s wonderful. You’re clearly talented. I can tell I’ll be exercising more if we continue things,” she said. His arm wrapped around her hips as he laid his fork back on his full plate.
“I can help with that too. I work out an insane amount. And stop saying if we continue.” After he said that last part, they both looked at each other a little shocked. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d just said that. He hadn’t planned it. Hell, he’d been more than clear the timing wasn’t good for him.
Her face changed, and her slow smile melted his heart, making it easy to ignore any doubts he had.
“You want me to be your girlfriend?” she asked. Her hands clasped together at her heart, and her pretty face turned into a fake dreamy expression. She really, seriously couldn’t be any more fun. He lifted her plate and tossed it on the table before grabbing her leg right above the knee. The squeeze caused her to have a fit in his lap while trying to get out from under his tight hold.
They were both laughing hysterically when she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes. “I want this to continue, Connor. I do like you. I sometimes have a hard personality to swallow and you just roll with me.”
He could honestly say that he hadn’t ever seen that in her. She had a charming personality. Julie filled in all his dead air perfectly. He tightened his arms around her. Connor didn’t want to let her go, but he had to be honest with her.
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen with me. Where I’ll end up. I’m pretty certain I’ll be leaving California.”
“Shhh. One day at a time. Okay?” she said, placing two fingers on his lips. “But now that we’re somewhat official, will you be my date to Lara’s baby shower?”
“You’re going?” he asked, surprised.
“Kenzie sent me a text, inviting me there, and I thought I’d go. I haven’t worked out the details, but I’m staying through Sunday for their big Thanksgiving dinner. I think Kenzie’s parents are even coming down. I guess that means I’m part of the crew now,” she said excitedly, waggling her brow.
“Wait, I thought Thanksgiving was a couple of weeks from now,” he said, tightening his arms around her.
“It is. It’s just been made early because someone’s going out of town or something like that,” she said, filling in the holes.
“Probably Bray. Makes his mother crazy.”
“So, baby shower on Saturday, Thanksgiving on Sunday. Yay, family weekend.”
“It’s a surprise for Lara, right?” Connor asked.
“I think so, yes. So you’ll be my date?” she asked again.
“You’ll have to meet my parents. I’m sure they’re invited,” Connor said. He couldn’t remember the last time he had taken anyone home to meet his parents.
“Great! Meet the man and woman who created such a fine man.” Julie pushed back off his chest, reaching for her plate, putting another bite of steak in her mouth.
“Oh God,” he said, rolling his eyes as he lifted her to put her back on her feet. “I’ll put the steaks back on the grill to warm.”
Julie shoved another bite in her mouth, moving her hand to cover her chewing as she spoke. “I’m full. Don’t do mine, but you didn’t eat. Do you want me to go warm your beans
?” she said, wrapping her blanket back around her.
“Nah, I’ll eat later,” he said, changing course. He stacked one plate on top of the beans and did the same with the salad.
“Why not?” she asked as he started for the back door.
“Because we have much more interesting things we could be doing before you have to leave.” He tossed a look over his shoulder to get her reaction. When her face lit up, he said, “Grab the glasses, for me. I’ll get the rest later.”
She did as he’d asked before following him inside. She shut the door and then the blinds. He barely got the plates on the counter and the beans in the refrigerator before his T-shirt, the one she’d been wearing, landed on top of his head. Connor looked over as her bare ass disappeared around the doorframe.
Connor started removing his clothes as he automatically followed her retreating form, not entirely certain he’d closed the refrigerator door when he’d left the kitchen. He shook his head. He was in so much trouble with her.
Chapter 7
Hours later, Connor opened his front door, barely extending a hand before Julie unexpectedly darted past him, never breaking stride as Bruno opened the back door of her town car. Connor picked up his speed, moving quicker toward the both of them. Bruno was a professional; he kept an eye on Connor while also always watching his surroundings. When Connor got closer, standing no more than a few feet away and Julie was fully inside the backseat, Bruno shoved the door closed in his face. After learning what the two of them had been through, he didn’t begrudge the distrust or dislike radiating from Bruno like he had before. He found he appreciated the care Bruno took in looking after Julie.
A step or two away, Connor stuck out a hand toward the man. Bruno didn’t immediately shake it, but Connor held it out there for him anyway. “It’s late. Are you good to drive? You two could stay here tonight.”
Mission Happy (A Texas Desires Novel Book 3) Page 13