by Joy Blood
Vin
When I heard her whimpers I went running into her room like a damn jackass. I heard her by chance walking past her door after a night run around the perimeter. Seeing here there sweaty and shirtless about did me in. Even with her pregnant belly, she is stunning. If the child were mine… What the fuck? No, it's not mine it belongs to that fucker. ‘But the kid also belongs to her’ my god damned mind says to me. Fuck why does she have to be so fucking beautiful? I haven't looked at another woman since…. Her. Mother fucker! I slam my fist into the wall. Adding to the many holes around this house.
She resembles her which maybe is the reason for the attraction, for both him and me. Avil was obsessed with her and he couldn't have her so he took her from me and for that he will suffer and suffer for so fucking long before he dies. In the meantime I just need to keep my distance, I can't let her presence fuck with my mind. As soon as I find a safe place for her she is gone, the further away the better.
Now
It's been a week in this damn room and I'm going stir crazy. Three days have passed since Vin burst into my room, haven't seen him since. Jake, on the other hand, I seem to see more than enough. He is annoying and is starting to grow on me, bastard. Every day he brings me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We sit and talk while I'm eating, yesterday he even brought his meal along with him and we ate together. Today I'm waiting impatiently for my lunch since this morning he didn't come to drop off breakfast. This morning I awoke to the tray on the table by the window with my normal bowl of oatmeal and a bottle of juice. No Jake to be found. I requested cinnamon raisin oatmeal one day and have been getting that instead of the cereal ever since. Breakfast and lunch. The dinner varies. Not sure why the apple juice always comes in a bottle but it's not cold so I assume they just have a pack of them sitting out, saving fridge space. Really couldn't say since I haven't been out of this damn room. But then again I haven't asked. I decided today I could no longer be in segregation.
When the door finally opens and Jake comes striding in without a care in the world I throw the damn book at him, literally. The dictionary that is.
“Shit!” Jake says as he ducks nearly dropping the serving tray he is carrying. The apple juice that was being balanced on said tray drops to the floor. “What the fuck Ells?” He grabs the bottle off the floor placing it and the bowl of oatmeal on the table. “I get it okay. You don't like that book. I will try and find you a real one, okay? Shit.”
I burst out laughing. That felt good.
“It's not the dictionary you idiot!” I say through my fit of laughter. “Where the hell were you this morning?” I ask when I can catch my breath again. “I only get so much human contact and I'm going crazy in here. Can't I at least get out of the room maybe go to the kitchen, make my own food or something?” I plead. I sound whiny but I really don't care right now.
“Vin dropped off your breakfast this morning. He didn't say hi?” Vin was here? I shake my head.
“That fucker.” He mutters. “Alright well. You want out of the room? I Don't see why not. Eat your food and we will go.” I don't think I even tasted my oatmeal I ate it so fast. Excited to get out of this room and out of this damn bed.
“What is this place?” I ask Jake as I follow him down some narrow stairs. It's a nice place, at least it would have been at one point in time. Holes now litter the walls and wherever there is a window a piece of plywood covers up a cracked or shattered piece of glass. The carpet is well worn and the wallpaper on the walls is faded and falling off. We pass what looks like a large formal dining room with a broken table lying right in the middle of it, no chairs to accompany the lonely broken piece of furniture. The walls are faded save for the rectangles of unfaded paint suggesting that they once had many pictures covering the walls.
“Used to be a bed and breakfast back in the day.” Jake states. “Kitchen isn't to stocked we need to make a store run soon. If you want to write a couple things down maybe we can grab them for you.” He says as we enter the kitchen through French doors. It’s as dated as the rest of the place. Green appliances chipped laminate floors and that table top with the metal ring around the top. The windows in here are also covered and there is a door that must lead to the outside that is nailed shut with two by fours.
“Are we expecting to be overrun be a zombie horde?” I ask gesturing to the boarded up door.
“Place is abandoned. Needs to keep looking that way.” Makes sense.
“Well let's see what you men have stocked in this kitchen I am in need of a distraction.”
After finding not much of anything to bake with and being told that even if I did find anything we only have a microwave to cook it in I settle on some no bake cookies. Not the best but they will have to do. “What are you going to make with this?” Jake asks pointing to my ingredients. Instant oatmeal, peanut butter, and chocolate chips. Very surprised of the chocolate chips, apparently someone has a sweet tooth. It's a large bag and almost half of them are gone. “No bake cookies,” I answer him. “Now do we have a baking sheet or something I can put them on?”
“Thought you said they were no bake.”
“They are. But… Never mind we can just eat the damn things out of the bowl.” I say rolling my eyes. Then he laughs at me. “You know you are a cute little thing when you get pissy about stuff.” He says and winks causing me to blush.
“Whatever. Grab me that bowl I can't reach it.” I say pointing up to a stack of bowls all different sizes on the very top shelf. They are the only thing I could find in the cupboards, besides a few coffee cups and three glasses. One drawer has a wooden spoon and a few odds and ends of utensils along with assorted silverware.
He does as asked and hands me the glass bowl. I pour in the rest of the bag of chocolate chips and pop them into the microwave for thirty seconds at a time stirring them after each until they are melted.
“Peanut butter please,” I say. Jake passes the jar and the spoon he was licking on.
“Really? You expect me to use your germy spoon? Grab another one! That's just gross.” We both are laughing when I look up to see Vin standing in the doorway holding one side of the French doors open.
“Hi,” I say barely even hearing it myself.
“Oh hey man. She was getting a little cabin fever up there figured it wouldn't hurt to let her out for a bit. Not like she is going to run away or anything. I mean she wouldn't get far.” He laughs out the last part and then it registers to me what he said. Jerk. I pick up the spoon he was licking and chuck it at him. This time, he doesn't get to dodge the flying object and I hit him on the shoulder. “Shit, why do you keep throwing stuff at me today?” He wines grabbing his shoulder like I severely wounded him.
“Quit being an ass and I wouldn't have to.” I snap at him and start putting the peanut butter into the still warm chocolate chips. Once it is mixed together I grab the oatmeal and dump some in making a lumpy mess. This is where a baking sheet would come in handy but I don't have one so I take a spoon full and start eating. They both are looking at me like I have grown two heads. “What?” I ask with my mouth still full. It comes out more as a garbled ‘wa’.
“What the fuck is that?” Vin asks me walking closer. Suddenly my throat is dry and swallowing is becoming hard. Why is he so big? “Did you use my chocolate chips?” Oh shit. I meekly nod at him then offer the bowl hoping that maybe my concoction is good enough to forgive the chocolate theft. He grabs a small chunk and pops it into his mouth. As he chews it I finally swallow mine down. “Looks like shit but it tastes alright. Don't use my chips again.”
“Okay. You don't have to be such a crab ass about it.” I say the last part under my breath but of course, he catches it.
“What was that?” He walks around so he is right in front of me. Sometime during our exchange, Jake must have left because as I'm looking for some support he is nowhere to be found. Great. “You got something to say to me, girl?” Vin asks in that damn gruff voice of his.
“You don't need to be
so… Argh…” I'm interrupted by my baby boy giving me a hard kick that I feel in my ribs. Damn it that hurts. My hand goes to the spot to rub it.
“Fuck are you okay?” I look up to see a completely different Vin staring at me with concern.
“I'm fine he just decided to knee me in the ribs is all,” I tell him trying to laugh it off. Then he does another good roll and I can feel his feet pressing out on my stomach. With the tank top, I have on I can see plain as day my son’s foot press outward. I love feeling him moving around inside me it lets me know that he is safe and that for now, he has not a care in the world. This particular position he is in though is slightly uncomfortable. I rub the spot where his foot is to try and coax him to move into a more comfortable position, for me.
“That his foot?” I almost forgot Vin was standing there.
“Yep, that's what it is. Want to feel?” I ask and before he can reply I grab his hand and press it to my stomach. I warm at the contact and then realize what just did and let go of his hand. “Sorry,” I say and go to step back but his other hand comes up and touches the other side of my belly. My son then, in turn, kicks a few more times causing Vin to startle slightly but he keeps his hands on me until my baby stops moving around presumably finding a comfortable position to take his nap. Then Vin as if realizing what he is doing clears his throat and backs away. “If you want something from the store, write it down, might grab it for you so you don't use all my damn chocolate chips again.” He barks out to me and walks out of the kitchen.
“So… What did I miss?” Jake asks me from the doorway a few minutes later. Jerk. I pick up a clump of batter roll it into a ball and chuck it at his head. He ducks just in time for the ball to miss his head and hit the wall behind him with a thunk. “Shit Ells what did I do now?” I roll my eyes at him and shake my head.
Now
Now that I have free reign of the house I decide to explore. After making myself some breakfast, a warmed up bagel from the microwave and my usual bowl of oatmeal I set out up the steps. Going past my room and what seem to be the guys’ rooms I find another set of stairs that leads up to an attic. Pushing the door open I sneeze a few times from the dust I kick up disturbing the years of neglect. There are boxes upon boxes stacked against the walls. They all have a name written on them. Avery. Curiosity gets the best of me and start looking into the boxes to try and find out who Avery is. A small window streams light into the small space, the dust clings to it, dancing in the air. Opening the first box I find trophies and ribbons. Mainly for football and baseball, the rest are for spelling bees. I put the cover back on the box and place it on the floor going onto the next one. Before long I have a pile of boxes surrounding me and have found out that Avery has had an eventful high school and college life. I still don't know what happened to him until I get to a box with a stack of letters tied together with a black ribbon. There are also pictures in this box. Pictures from high school all the way up to a wedding photo. The same girl is in every one of them along with a boy who I am assuming is Avery.
“What are you doing?” I'm startled from my snooping when I hear Vin’s booming voice at the door.
“Sorry, I was bored and decided to check things out. Did you know who lived here before it was abandoned?” he just shakes his head.
“Heard that the couple here had the bed and breakfast, son and daughter in law died, they left. Not much to tell.”
“That's depressing,” I say and continue shuffling through the pictures.
“Shouldn't you be in bed or something?” Vin gruffs out.
“I'm pregnant not an invalid.”
“Still, breathing all this dust in can't be good for the baby.” He argues.
“Maybe not.” I decide to give in. “Can you help me up I'm kind of buried behind these boxes,” I ask him, he hesitates just for a moment then starts moving the boxes aside making a path for me to get out. Reaching his hand toward me I take it and he pulls me upward to me feet. I stumble a bit and lean in toward him placing my hand on his hard chest to regain my balance. His warmth radiates through his white tee shirt and I can feel his heartbeat speed up from my touch. That's when I pull away.
“Thank you.” I go to walk past him but he stops me by grabbing my elbow.
“The son lost his wife to cancer shortly after they were married. Years later he finally was able to succeed in drinking himself to death. The couple that ran the place were so devastated and blamed one another for not helping him that they divorced and went their separate ways. Leaving this place to rot.”
“How do you know all of this?” I ask him looking up into his green eyes. He clamps down onto his lip for a second then scrubs his chin with his hand.
“They were Finn and Jake’s relatives. Mom’s cousin or something.” They had never said a word to me about it.
“Such a sad story.”
“Yeah but there are worse things to go through, I'm sure you can attest to that.” He nods toward my belly. This makes me bristle.
“However horrible Avil may be this baby is still part of me, he will be nothing like his father.” I try and rush as fast as my large body can take me that is. Careful enough to not fall down the few steps that lead up to the attic I'm leaving Vin in. Stomping down to my room I slam the door like I'm a three-year-old being scolded and sent to my room.
Next day I'm down in the kitchen making myself oatmeal, yet again, when Finn comes walking in carrying plastic bags full of food with the handles looped around his forearms.
“Got the things you requested my lady, except I couldn't find any loofie things you wanted.”
“Loo. Fah. Loofah sponge.” I enunciate to him then laugh. He plops the bags onto the counter top.
“Well, whatever they are I couldn't find any. Did get you something I thought you would like, though.” He tells me peaking my curiosity. He starts rummaging through the bags until he stops, pulling out a small blue gift bag. It's baby blue with a white stripe around the top and two little sparkling baby booties in the middle of it. Under the booties, it reads ‘its a boy!’. Right there it hits me, I have maybe a little over a week until I have this baby and I don't have one single thing for him. No clothes, diapers, bottles. I break down and cry right there in the kitchen.
“Oh shit, I thought you would like it I'm sorry, please don't cry. Shit.” I can't stop the crying, it just keeps coming.
“The fuck did you do Finn?” I hear Vin say from somewhere.
“Nothing man just got her a present is all. She just started balling. Fuck, I don't, crying chicks.” He stammers.
“Get the fuck out of here.” Vin barks at him. I want so bad to tell him it wasn't Finn’s fault that I am just hormonal but I just can't get it out. Then, strong arms wrap around me and all I can do is cry harder clutching my hands onto the tee shirt covered chest my head has been placed on.
“What am going to do?” I blubber out “I don't even have anything for my baby.” More blubbering “ I haven't even picked out a name.” I cry and cry and Vin doesn't say a word just holds me for what seems like hours.
My eyes burn and my head is pounding from my exertion. I'm coming back from my ugly cry trying to breathe through my nose once again when things start to clear. I pull my head up slightly to see the white tee shirt I have been crying into has a large wet spot and wrinkles where I was clutching it so hard. Sniffing in some more I catch a hint of his soap. Something woodsy and spicy and him. I wipe my tears away and back up.
“Sorry, hormones.” I shrug at him. Needing to do something to work through my embarrassment I busy myself with unloading the bags. Making sure to stay away from the little blue gift bag, I just can't right now. I pull everything out and ball up the bags putting them into one bag and stuff them into an empty cabinet. Then I go about putting the food away. There are lots of cans, mainly beef stew. A box of instant potatoes a few packages of mac and cheese, a request of mine, a few more other nonperishables and a large bag of chocolate chips. I leave them for last.
&
nbsp; “What is with the chips?” I ask now that my sniffling has dissipated. I'm sure my eyes are still puffy, though.
“Nothing. Care to tell me what that was about?” he asks totally dodging my question.
“Finn was so sweet and got me a gift.” I stop for a second when I think the waterworks are going to start again, but when they don't I continue. “All these realizations hit me at once and I got overwhelmed I suppose.”
“How about Anthony?” Vin says.
“Anthony? For what?” I ask confused.
“You said you haven't even picked out a name. What about Anthony?” I roll the name around in my head, I do like it. Maybe it will fit.
“I think that's a great name, thank you.”
“Better open your gift, the kid needs his first gift.” I look over at the small blue bag and get choked up yet again. I walk over to the bag on the far end of the counter, closer to Vin. Picking it up like it is holding a venomous snake inside I slowly open the top. I pull out a small white tee shirt, holding it up I read what it has written on it aloud.
“My mom is the shit.” I start laughing because it really is like Finn to get something like this. “This is so cute.” I laugh a little harder. Then I look up and see that Vin has a smile on his face too. No laughter just the smile but that one smile says everything.
“Glad you like it.” He tells me then, without losing the smile he nods once then leaves the kitchen. I'm in too good of a mood to even care he has up and left me once again.
Now
“Sorry about making you cry then ditching you like an asshole. I really can't handle crying women. Not my thing” Finn came up to my room shortly after I left the kitchen.
“Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Thank you for the gift by the way, so sweet of you tho think of Anthony.”