She brushed a kiss against his dark hair. “So are you.”
He lifted his head, stared into her eyes, and grinned in that heart-stopping way he had. In a way that left her powerless to keep from grinning back.
So, goofy grin in place, she gazed at the man she was still connected to at the hips. The man she was connected to in ways that went way beyond physical.
They’d both known today would change everything since her mother was coming home tomorrow.
Of course they could always go to his place.
Except he’d never invited her.
Did he live in an apartment? A house? Did he live alone or with a roommate? Why didn’t she know these things when she felt so in sync with him?
“Why haven’t we gone to your place?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Oh hell. The time of reckoning had come. It wasn’t as if Garrett hadn’t prepared for this moment. He’d planned to tell her everything. Today.
Not with them barely inside the front door, his pants missing and his body spent inside her. But he had planned to tell her about the boys and to ask her to meet them. He’d even told his mother about Jennifer, admitted to having strong feelings for the lovely doctor. But she did funny things to his will-power, made him go a bit crazy. Plus, her new underwear had undone him. Literally.
“About that,” he began.
Scooping up her clothes, she shook her head. When she bent to retrieve the scrap of black silk, desire punched him and he was right back to Horny 101 and eager to prove he could ace the class.
But he wanted more than just hot sex from Jennifer.
He wanted her heart.
She straightened, turned, caught sight of his quick rebound. She glanced away, but her unsteady breaths told him she’d liked what she’d seen, that his reaction turned her on.
“Never mind,” she said, staring at a collage of school photos of herself. “I have no right to ask.”
“You have every right.”
Her clothing clutched protectively in front of her, she smiled derisively. “That’s sweet of you to say.”
Garrett touched her face, stroking his fingers across her smooth skin. “I’m not being sweet, Jennifer. You have every right to ask me anything. I want you to ask.”
Her lips parted. Her eyes searched his.
“I don’t want you to go back to Madison.” He took her hand in his. “You are not a f ling, Jennifer. And neither am I.”
“You are,” she denied, but her eyes told a different tale. She loved him.
As sure as he was of his feelings for her, he knew Jennifer felt the same.
How would she feel about his children, though?
Could she find a way to love his kids? To be the mother they needed?
If she couldn’t, then what?
He lifted her fingers to his lips. “Then this f ling doesn’t plan to let you go without a fight, because he’s fallen in love with you.”
He’d meant to tell her about the boys before telling her how he felt. But Jennifer was in his heart alongside his boys. He wanted her in his life always.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed with the programmed ringtone from his home number. His mother or one of the boys. Not taking his gaze from Jennifer, Garrett grabbed his pants off the f loor to retrieve his phone. “Hello.”
Jennifer began slipping on her clothes.
How could a man look sexy while taking a phone call naked? There should be rules about that level of attractiveness.
Even as she thought it, she recognized that she was focusing on the physical to keep from dealing with the emotional.
Garrett wanted her to stay.
He’d said he loved her.
They had no future, weren’t supposed to be anything beyond a f ling.
A f ling. His words about fighting for her struck a mushy spot in her heart. Part of her wanted to believe him, but hadn’t Jeff once said the same thing? He’d promised undying love and to fight for her always. ‘Til death do they part.
It had been Carrie’s death that parted them.
Garrett might think he loved her. He might even love her enough to want a long term relationship. But eventually his instinct to procreate would kick in and he’d want children.
Children she couldn’t give him. Then what?
“No, it’s fine.” His cell phone cradled between his ear and his shoulder, Garrett pulled his pants over his hips. He fished his shirt off the f loor, dragged the material over his head. “Tell the boys I love them and will be home soon.”
The boys? Who was he talking to?
He snapped his phone shut and gave Jennifer an apologetic look. “Sorry about that.”
An apologetic look filled with guilt.
Oh God. Invisible hands gripped her throat. God, could she have been any more blind?
No wonder he never took her to his place.
Fully dressed, hands on hips, she confronted him. “Are you married?”
Her mother had said he was single. Jennifer had never asked, never considered her mother might have been wrong. Panic pounded in her heart.
“Married?” Confusion darkened his eyes. “Why would you think that?” He moved toward her, his gaze narrowed. “Do you think I’d be here if I was married?”
“It wouldn’t be the first time a man’s cheated on his wife.” God, she felt dirty. Dirty and used. She’d wanted Garrett so much she’d refused to see he’d been hiding something. Now that the blinders had been lifted it was so obvious.
His lips tightened into a fine white line. “He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
“Who?”
“Your ex.”
“We’re not talking about Jeff.”
“Maybe we should. He’s why you left Huntsville, why you won’t allow yourself to consider a real relationship with me.”
“Jeff has nothing to do with this conversation.” Her ex-husband hadn’t been why she’d left. Memories of Carrie had been why she’d run. Memories of what a failure she’d been as a mother. “Who was on the phone?”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Jennifer crossed her arms over her chest. Hurt mixed with betrayal glimmered in her eyes.
Garrett stepped toward her. She scampered back, maintaining distance between them. She didn’t trust him. After all they’d shared, she thought he was married? That she meant no more than an extramarital affair? That he was the kind of man who would cheat on his wife?
Disgust washed up to the back of his throat. Could he have been that wrong?
“The call was from my mother.”
“Your mother?”
“As far as your other question,” he said shrugging, battling his hurt, “I’m divorced.”
Her eyes widened. “You were married?”
“For five years.”
“What happened?”
What happened? Good question and one he’d asked himself a thousand times prior to Emma’s death. “She didn’t like being a doctor’s wife.”
Jennifer’s lower lip disappeared between her teeth.
“She died in an automobile accident earlier this year. Fortunately, the boys weren’t with her.”
“Boys?” She blinked. “As in your boys?”
Jennifer’s shocked expression sucker-punched him.
“I should’ve told you.” He sighed. “But, we started out as a f ling, so our personal lives didn’t seem to matter. When I realized how I felt about you, telling you about the boys had become complicated for the mere reason that I hadn’t already told you.”
“You have kids?” she repeated, looking pale, shocked and like she might pass out.
Great. This wasn’t going as expected. Or maybe it was. She’d said she didn’t want kids. He was telling her he had two. Just what had he expected? That she’d suddenly change her mind because they were talking about his kids?
This was why he hadn’t told her. Because he’d known the moment he did, nothing would ever be the same. But God, he’d hoped their feelings for each
other would be enough for her to give being a part of his life a chance.
“Two boys,” he repeated, trying not to sound defensive. “Twins. Ethan and Ian. They’re four.”
Jennifer sank onto the sofa and dropped her head into her hands. Her entire body shook. She laughed, almost hysterically. “You’re a father. Of twins.”
Laughter? He’d expected her to be angry that he hadn’t told her. Or angry that he wasn’t the uber-sexy single guy he’d let on to be over the past few weeks.
“I’m a father,” he admitted as if to reinforce the reality of who he was. No matter how much he loved Jennifer, if she couldn’t accept his children, they had no future.
“I had planned on taking them to the space center this afternoon. Come with us,” he said suddenly. “I want you to meet my children. They’ll love you, Jennifer, and as full of energy as they are, I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Give them a chance.” He moved to stand in front of her. “Give us a chance.”
Her laughter silenced, she glanced up, met his gaze. Tears ran down her cheeks.
Garrett’s chest tightened around his heart, squeezing the flopping organ until he worried it might burst from the pressure.
“Don’t cry.” He knelt in front of her, wiped her tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the twins. Surely it’s not that bad, my being a father. The boys are good kids. I can’t imagine you not liking them once you’ve met them.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jennifer eyed the miniature versions of Garrett and wanted to run far away. Equally, they eyed her as if she was the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Although his smile stayed in place, Garrett’s glances toward her weren’t much better.
Did he expect her to stuff them into an oven and gobble them up like the wicked witch in some fairy tale?
She’d never hurt his children, or any child for that matter.
Not on purpose.
“Can we have some dots, Daddy?” Ian asked, tugging on his father’s hand.
“Puh-leeze,” Ethan added, his big green eyes beseeching his father to agree.
Jennifer knew right then and there that if Garrett said no, she’d buy the boys ice cream. And anything else they wanted. How could she not when they were so like their father whom she found totally irresistible?
Garrett had children.
Her mind reeled. Garrett had twin sons.
No matter how much she loved him or that he claimed to love her, she couldn’t be a mother again. Every hateful word Jeff had thrown at her following Carrie’s death came crashing back, washing over her in waves of torturous memories.
No, she couldn’t deceive Garrett, couldn’t pretend they had any hope of a future. Her mother would be home tomorrow. In a couple of weeks Jennifer would be back in Madison.
In a few million years she’d forget Garrett. Maybe.
Oh, who was she kidding? She’d never forget him.
She loved him.
Loving him didn’t mean she could be a mother to his children. Not that Garrett had specifically asked, but wasn’t that the direction they were moving towards?
“Sure, you can have dots,” Garrett agreed, ruffling the boys’ dark hair. “Maybe Jennifer wants some space ice cream, too. Should we ask?”
The boys glanced from their father to Jennifer, looking at her expectantly, as if it were a given that she’d want space ice cream, Grinch or not.
“I’ve never had space ice cream,” she admitted. “Do I get to pick flavors?”
“Its chocolate covered dots,” Ian explained with a very grown-up expression. “Space ice cream is dots.”
“I won’t go shooting into outer space, will I?”
Shaking his head, Ethan giggled. “No, silly. Astronots eat them.” His expression changed to uncertainty, as if he were considering the possibility. “Just in case, maybe you should hold my hand.”
Before Jennifer could stop him, Ethan slipped his hand into hers.
“You’re sure you don’t need to go?” Garrett asked Ian for the third time.
The little boy shook his head, clasping on to Jennifer’s hand. Since Ethan had broken the ice, the boys had clamored for her attention. “I’ll wait with Jennifer.”
Panic gurgled up Jennifer’s throat. She didn’t want to be left alone with the little boy.
What if something happened?
Garrett frowned, looking confused by her frantic head-shaking. “Ian, you should go.”
“I don’t have to go, Daddy.”
“I do.” Ethan wiggled back and forth, his legs squeezed together dramatically. “I can’t hold it.”
Garrett looked torn. In the end, Ethan’s urgency won out. He rushed his son to the bathroom.
Oh God. Garrett had left her alone with his son. She had no business being responsible for a child. Her own daughter died because she wasn’t a good mother.
“Are you my daddy’s girlfriend?” Ian looked at Jennifer with eyes the exact shade of Garrett’s, with the same thick black lashes.
“I’m your Dad’s friend and I’m a girl,” she hedged, not sure what she was to Garrett. He’d said he loved her. She wasn’t over the fact that he’d not told her about the boys, but she could forgive him, could even understand. Sort of.
That didn’t mean she could deal with this. The moment he told her she should have ended things. Why hadn’t she? If she had she wouldn’t be alone with a four-year-old.
“My daddy has lots of girlfriends.”
Lots of girlfriends. Jennifer didn’t say anything. Oblivious to how his words wrenched her heart, Ian went on. “Mommy said that’s why Daddy didn’t live with us anymore.”
“Because he had lots of girlfriends?” Was it wrong to question a child about his father? It must be, with the amount of guilt filling her stomach.
Then again, didn’t she already know she was the wrong person to be left alone with a child?
Ian nodded, his legs swinging back and forth. “My mommy is in heaven. ‘Cause she’s an angel.” The little boy’s gaze went to the rocket towering above them. “I bet that rocket ship could take us to see her.”
Jennifer didn’t know what to say. Her mind was racing in a thousand directions at the boy’s revelation about Garrett’s ‘girlfriends’. Her heart was breaking at the loss in Ian’s eyes. He’d loved his mother very much.
Despite her misgiving about being alone with him, she couldn’t help herself. She hugged him to her. “I’m sorry about your mommy, Ian. I wish that rocket ship could take us to heaven.”
“To see my mommy?”
“And to see Carrie,” she whispered, feeling hot tears trail down her cheeks.
“Who’s Carrie?”
“My little girl.”
“She’s in heaven with my Mommy?”
Eyes watering, Jennifer nodded.
Ian gave her a quizzical look, then patted her hand. “It’s okay. I bet my Mommy is watching her the way you’re watching me.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Jennifer stood in the doorway watching Garrett tuck his children into bed. Ian asked a question each time Garrett started to rise. In the top bunk, Ethan’s eyes had already closed.
After fielding a few dozen questions about everything from where the moon came from to how yo-yos worked, Garrett kissed the boy’s cheek. He turned off the overhead light, leaving only a night-light to illuminate the room.
Wordlessly, they made their way to the living room.
“I should go.”
He shook his head. “Don’t.”
“I can’t stay.”
“Because of the kids?”
She swallowed. She had to tell him. Before they got any closer, before he got ideas about her and his children. She couldn’t do that to his children, to him.
“With Mom coming home from the rehab center tomorrow, I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Our avoiding each other shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I don’t want to avoid you, Jennifer. I want to share my life
with you.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“Because of the boys?”
She nodded. “Perhaps if you didn’t have children we could have worked, but—” her voice broke. “I can’t do this.”
She turned, determined to leave before she completely broke down.
She’d barely taken two steps when Garrett spun her toward him. “That’s it? You don’t want kids, I have two, and so you just shut off the way you feel about me?”
She couldn’t meet his gaze.
“Answer me, damn it! You care so little about me that you’d walk away rather than attempt to know my boys?”
It was because she cared that she pulled loose and rushed out of his house.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A week later, Jennifer’s mother was home and growing bored with her confinement. She’d invited neighbors over for a Saturday barbecue. With all the hinting she’d done, Jennifer should have known she’d invite Garrett too.
Jennifer stared out the back window at where he stood, talking with her mother. His sons ran around in the back yard playing with the neighbor’s chocolate lab.
That settled it. If her mother was well enough to play matchmaker, she was well enough for Jennifer to go home.
Only the thought of returning to Madison didn’t hold the appeal it should have.
She loved her job in Madison, loved her partners.
But leaving Huntsville would hurt now.
The back door opened. Garrett walked in. “Your mother sent me to fetch a glass of iced tea.”
Right. Her mother was playing matchmaker. Again.
“I’ll take her one.” Jennifer took a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with ice.
Garrett leaned against the counter. “I miss you.”
Jennifer didn’t respond. For the past week she’d kept a smile pasted on her face for her mother’s benefit, but alone in her old room, tears swamped her heart. Tears over Garrett, over Carrie, over her lack of parenting skills. If only…
“The boys liked you. They’ve asked about you and were excited to see you today.”
Medical Single Plus Bonus Novella / Doctor Daddy / Single Doctor, Single Dad! Page 20