by Romancing the Crown Series (13-in-1 bundle) (v1. 0) (lit)
She'd thought she was safe. Then some kid had screamed and pointed at her at the airport, and now everyone in the country could see her face when they turned on their TVs or opened their newspapers. It was a good thing she had noticed the police sketch on the front page of the Montebello Messenger before she'd tried to meet Gretchen.
She glanced at her reflection in a darkened shop window. The drawing had been surprisingly good for a police sketch, but considering the features the artist was working with, how could it not be? Ursula had always known she was blessed with a face that should have been on a Broadway poster or a movie screen. Along with her talent and her dynamite body, she'd been destined for stardom... if only her acting career hadn't been ruined by her manager.
But what more could she have expected from a man? All the men in her life had betrayed her in one way or another, hadn't they? The only smart thing to do was to use them before they could use her. And Ursula was smart. She was a survivor.
An aircraft took off in the distance, the throb of its engines magnified by the narrow streets. Ursula clutched her carry-on and looked up to follow its progress. The airport was still her best bet. Her credit cards were maxed out, but she had just enough cash left from the sale of her sister's heirloom ring to cover a one-way ticket to the States. As long as she made it through customs before that idiot Gretchen told someone her name, she'd be home by tomorrow.
Like any great actress, Ursula Chambers knew when it was time to make an exit.
Chapter 3
Put this on so you won't be cold."
Kate shook her head quickly as she saw Sam reach for the buttons of his dress blue uniform jacket. "No, thanks. I'll be fine."
"The jeep doesn't have a top." He slipped the last button from its hole and shrugged off the jacket. "And you're only wearing your running clothes."
She told herself not to look. For the past five hours she'd been hearing variations on the same lecture in her head. But she was only human, so she couldn't prevent her gaze from wandering.
How could it be possible for his shoulders to be broader than she remembered, for his chest to be more solid? The white shirt he wore beneath the jacket was flattened to his body by the breeze, defining the masculine contours like a lingering caress.
She looked away. She was no longer his lover. She was his colleague, his equal in rank. "Keep it, Sam. You're only wearing a shirt yourself."
"Yeah, but haven't you heard? SEALs are tough." Without waiting for permission, he settled the jacket around her shoulders.
"Sam..."
He rounded the hood of the jeep and hopped into the driver's seat. "Come on, Kate. I'll take you home."
There was no point arguing. Sam hadn't changed—he still liked to get his way.
Which was one of the reasons she'd let him go.
She took the seat beside him and clutched the lapels of the jacket together. Pleasant warmth flowed into her from the heat of his body that was trapped in the garment. His scent surrounded her, teasing her with awareness, daring her to remember.
"How long have you been in Montebello, Kate?"
"Seven months tomorrow. And you?"
"Two days." He turned the jeep and headed down the hill from the hospital.
"I didn't know you were being posted here."
"I wasn't. I had just finished an assignment in the Middle East and figured while I was in the neighborhood I might as well spend my leave in Montebello. The leave got canceled when I got the order to report to King Marcus."
"That's a shame. This is a wonderful place if you're here on vacation. Tourism is one of Montebello's biggest industries."
"Yeah. There are plenty of sights I never got around to seeing, but duty called."
"It has a way of doing that."
"If I'd known you were here, I would have looked you up. How have you been?"
They were picking up speed. Sam drove with the same straightforward competence with which he did everything else. Kate turned her face to the breeze so she wouldn't keep inhaling his scent. "I've been fine, Sam. And you?"
"Busy."
"Judging from the service ribbons on this jacket, I'd have to agree."
"Like they say, Ijoined the Navy and saw the world."
"That's great. It's—" She almost said that it was what he'd wanted, but she remembered how he'd responded to that comment before. She had to keep things light, keep things friendly. The base was only a few more minutes away. Then this interminable evening would be over. "You said you always wanted to travel. And how's your mother?"
"She's doing well. She and Marvin moved to Arizona two years ago, and the climate's done wonders for her rheumatism."
"Is your stepfather still in the car business?"
"Uh-huh. He opened up a dealership in Flagstaff. Wanted to call it Marvelous Marvin's, but my mom couldn't stop laughing every time he said it so he settled for Oasis Autos."
She smiled. Sam had supported his widowed mother throughout his teenage years. He'd delayed joining the Navy until she was securely remarried. Noble, loyal Sam. He was a throwback to the days when men took care of their women no matter what.
Which was another reason she'd let him go.
"And your little brother?" she asked.
"Chuck's doing his master's degree at Stanford."
"Does he still want to be a paleontologist?"
"Uh-huh. At least now he's got an excuse to go on backyard treasure hunts."
She heard the note of pride in Sam's voice, and her smile grew wistful. Sam had helped raise his younger brother, and he'd done a marvelous job. He would have made a wonderful father.
But he'd also deserved his shot at following his dreams.
She'd made the right decision.
Yes, she had.
"How are your parents doing, Kate?" he asked.
"They divorced four years ago."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. They're much happier now." And that was true. Some people simply weren't meant to be together."
Like her and Sam.
He remained silent as they approached an intersection. Instead of taking the road that would be the quickest route to the base, he turned toward the road that ran along the coast.
"It's shorter if you go the other way," Kate said, twisting to look over her shoulder.
"I know."
"But—"
"I wanted a chance to talk to you. Is the wind too cold?"
"No. With this jacket I'm fine, but—"
"It's a beautiful evening, isn't it, Kate?" he asked softly.
"Montebello averages three hundred days of sunshine a year, so the skies here are usually clear."
"Do you still like watching the pattern of waves in the moonlight?"
"I take the inland roads when I go jogging."
He slowed the jeep as he rounded a bend, his hand somehow brushing her thigh as he worked the gear shift. "Remember how we used to like listening to the whispers the waves made when they broke on the beach?"
Yes, she remembered all too well. She angled her knees toward the door, the skin on her thigh tingling. "The coastline along this stretch is mostly rock, but there are several popular beaches."
"Maybe you could show me sometime."
"Sam..."
"It still gets to me, you know."
"What does?"
"The sound of the water. It gets me right here," he said, taking one hand off the wheel to touch his chest. "Anywhere you go in the world, it's got a million different tunes that it plays. Sometimes it's restless, sometimes it's angry. A lot of times it's just plain lonely."
"I remember you always liked the sea."
"Good thing, considering my choice of profession, wouldn't you say?"
"Yes, it's fortunate."
"And only one of the things we have in common, Kate." He slowed further, finally pulling the jeep to a stop at the side of the road. He turned off the ignition and inhaled deeply. "I read somewhere that every drop of water on the planet has be
en through a cycle of life that takes it through practically every type of living thing before it returns to the ocean. But it still smells great, doesn't it?"
It wasn't only the sea that smelled great, she thought. Now that they were no longer moving, the hint of Sam's scent that rose from his jacket was stronger than ever.
The memories were battering at her mind, pushing to be released, but she held them back. She couldn't go through this again. Once was enough.
He turned toward her, draping his elbow over the back of his seat. "It's hard to believe it's been five years."
No, she thought. Don't do this. Please. Let's keep talking about the climate or your family or our work.
"I like your hair like that." He lifted his hand toward her ear.
She knew what was coming. He was going to smooth her hair behind her ear, just as he used to do when it had been long. She tipped her head to avoid his touch. "It's more practical to keep it short."
"Is that why you cut it?"
She gritted her teeth against an image from the past, yet still she saw Sam smiling at her, his fists caught in her hair as he rubbed her curls in slow, sensual circles over her breasts. "Yes, it got in my way," she answered.
"Kate?"
"Mmm?"
"I've missed you."
And I've missed you, she thought.
But she didn't miss the pain. It was locked away with the memories. She couldn't release one without the other.
It had been the right choice. It had, damn it.
She kept her gaze on the horizon. "Like you said, Sam, it's been five years."
"Since we're both here now, maybe we could get together sometime. What do you think?"
She didn't reply. She could feel his gaze moving over her face. What did he see? What did he remember?
Sex. That's what he would remember. That's what it had been about, after all. Just sex.
Sure. Sex on the beach, with the waves lapping at their feet. Laughing, playful sex in the water with their skin slick and cool. And slow, thorough, toe-curling sex on the deck in the moonlight when they'd anchored their rented sailboat in that secluded bay and spent their last night together wrapped in a blanket and each other's arms....
Kate felt a flush work its way over her cheeks. She felt her pulse pound against the gold chain that circled her neck. She hoped the darkness would hide them both.
Sex had been all they'd wanted from each other. And they'd both been perfectly willing to supply it. They'd been young, they'd been unattached, they'd both been about to embark on their new lives in the Navy. So why shouldn't they have indulged in some good, healthy, uncomplicated lovemaking before they had parted ways?
No, not love. It had never been love.
And that was the final reason she had let him go.
"The past is over," she said. "We had an agreement. Let's leave it that way."
"Kate..."
"I was wrong, Sam. I believe I'm getting cold after all," she said. "Please, take me home."
* * *
Kate was running again, but in the panic of her dream, she didn't know where she was. The streets were a dark labyrinth of towering walls and dead ends. Her feet were heavy with nightmare paralysis. She had to find the baby. She had to reach it. She had to save it.
Pain doubled her over. It ground through her belly and shot down her thighs. She crossed her arms over her stomach, gasping for breath, and limped forward. She couldn't stop. She had to find it.
The streets grew narrower and transformed into corridors. The echo of her footsteps became the rattle of gurney wheels. The past tangled with the present as she was moving toward the emergency room.
"No. Wait." Kate mouthed the words, twisting on the mattress and clutching the sheets as if she could hold back the inevitable. She knew how this ended, but maybe if she tried harder, maybe if she held on longer she could make it end differently this time....
The pain was tearing a hole in her gut. Her strength was gone, but still she strained forward. The baby. It needed her. She had to try.
"It's too late. He's gone."
No. He couldn't be. She'd tried her best this time. Honestly, she had.
"I'm sorry." The doctor's voice was weary. "We did everything we could."
No. No! She wanted to scream, but the emptiness she felt in her body left no room for denial.
The baby was lost.
He'd never taken a breath. He'd never opened his eyes. He'd never once felt his mother's arms around him or nestled against her breast....
A telephone shrilled. Kate came awake with a start. Heart pounding, she tried to orient herself. She rubbed her cheeks and found them wet with tears.
This wasn't a hospital. This was her bed, in her bedroom. She was in Montebello, in the old hotel that had been converted to serve as the unmarried officers' quarters. It was over. Finished. Lost.
The phone rang again.
Kate rolled to her side and stumbled across the floor. Sunlight slanted through the window, casting an orange glow over the heavy wood furniture. Her hand shaking, she reached for the phone on her desk. "Mulvaney," she said.
"Lieutenant Mulvaney, this is Ensign Gordon. I'm Admiral Howe's assistant."
Kate wiped her arm across her eyes to dry her tears. "What can I do for you, Ensign Gordon?"
"You've been asked to report to Admiral Howe's office at oh-nine-hundred hours today."
She acknowledged the order and replaced the receiver mechanically, then dropped her head into her hands. All right. Focus, she told herself. Concentrate on your duty, and this will go away. Just like it always does.
But the dream still hovered, a gray shadow on the edge of her consciousness.
The nightmare had been worse this time. She didn't need a psychiatrist to figure out why. The reason was obvious. It was because she had seen Sam again. And because she had held that baby.
The thought she'd pushed back so desperately for almost twelve hours—that she'd run from for five years— finally broke free.
Damn it, it should have been their child, not the prince's, that she'd held in her arms. It should have been Sam's face, not Lucas's, that had lit with wonder as he'd gazed at his son.
But she'd never had the chance to hold their baby. The gentle butterfly motions she'd felt while she'd carried him were all she had to remember of the life she'd been entrusted with.. .and lost.
She pushed the heels of her hands against her eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling, trying to stem the tide of memories, but it was no use.
She had conceived that night on the boat. She hadn't planned it. Neither of them had. The responsibility of a family had been the last thing on their minds. They both had been due to ship out the next day and they hadn't wanted to waste one moment of their final night together.
They'd known from the start their affair would be brief. They'd each had dreams and obligations that would force them apart, so they had agreed to make a clean break. No regrets, no strings, no awkward clinging. The only promise they'd made had been to give each other an easy goodbye.
For the first few months, Sam hadn't tried to contact her. What was it he had said at the hospital yesterday? She had liked nice, neat endings? Well, that's what they'd promised and that's what they'd had.
When she'd missed her period, she'd told herself it was the excitement of her first posting. When the nausea had started, she'd thought it might be seasickness. Only when the signs had become too obvious to deny any longer had she finally taken a test.
Sam's first letter had arrived the day Kate had discovered she was pregnant. He had been about to leave for a training mission somewhere in the South Pacific. His life was taking the direction he had planned. She'd been able to sense his smile in the words he'd written.
She'd known he would have come back if she had told him about the baby. That's just the kind of man he was. Noble, dependable, determined-to-get-his-way Sam. He would have insisted on doing the honorable thing and getting married.
But he'd just freed himself from the responsibility of raising his brother and supporting his mother. He'd been so eager to embark on his new life as a SEAL, how could she tie him down?
And how could she tie herself to a man who didn't love her? Sure, they'd been great together in bed—and anywhere else they could find to be alone—but a physical attraction was no basis for a long-term relationship. Getting married just for the sake of a baby would only lead to resentment and bitterness. That's what her parents had done. Kate had grown up vowing never to follow her mother's example, never to be dependent on any man. Especially one who didn't love her.
So Kate had never answered Sam's letter. She had returned unopened the ones that had followed. And after a while, the letters had stopped coming. He didn't try to contact her again.
He had kept his promise.
And so had Kate. She was still convinced she had made the right choice. She had fully intended to raise her child alone, even if it meant giving up her dream of advancing in her career.
But then fate had stepped in. She had lost the baby.
She sniffed hard and wiped her arm across her eyes, then dropped her hand to the chain around her neck. Her fingers rubbed the delicate charm that lay against her breastbone. She had made the motion so often the gold was becoming worn, yet the butterfly's wings still arched as if caught in mid-flutter.
She had bought the charm when she'd left the hospital after the miscarriage. It was her way of honoring the fragile life of the baby she had carried. She had worn it under her uniform, keeping the token as private as she had kept her grief.
Then she had chopped off her hair, sucked up the pain and focused on the career she'd always dreamed of.
Kate pushed herself to her feet. Focus. That's what she needed to do. Her duty had gotten her through the most painful episode of her life. It would do the same now.
The next time she went running, she would take a different route.
And considering the way she had rebuffed Sam's tentative overtures when he'd stopped at the coast the night before, chances were she wouldn't see Sam Coburn for another five years.