But did he like me back? Ah, the question for the ages. And I was of the firm opinion that happy chat or not, he would make the first move. And that move would probably include the word 'friends' or maybe the notorious, 'I'll call you'.
It was in his eyes. He wanted me to tell him I cared for him, so that he could have it all out in the open and let me down easy. But how? We spend hours alone together, and believe me this love-in-the-dark strangeness is nothing compared to the strangeness that would occur if I brought it out into the open.
“I'm just having some trouble with this whole office liaison thing.” The truth in its entirety wrapped with a pretty bow, and with a safe 'l' word.
Rob didn't say a word. Not a single word. He just sat there staring at me.
“Well?” I couldn't stand him just sitting.
That seemed to wake him up. “Why? Do you have feelings for me?” Rob asked.
He went there. He really did. That's a wolf for you. No sense for cowering in the corner and waiting to see what happens.
“Feelings?” I sputtered. “Are we going to talk about feelings?” This was the moment when a witty rejoinder would have come in handy. Unfortunately, I'm not fast on my feet.
“Our conversations used to feel comfortable.”
This time I think my smile was rueful, and my eyes probably had that puppy dog look which is an unfortunate side-effect of caring. “I know. I'm sorry. Can't we just put this conversation on hold awhile?”
Yeah, like forever?
Rob nodded once and stood. “Has the new ad come through for approval?”
Phew. Back on solid ground. “Next Tuesday.”
We both knew the answer to that one, but it put the conversation firmly back into the business sphere were it belonged and desperately needed to be.
Chapter 5
“Can you do me a favor?” Famous last words. Or more accurately, the last words would be Sure, what do you want me to do? And I would do whatever was requested which would lead to chaos and an untimely demise.
I decided to play this request cautiously. “The last time I did a favor for you I was up to my butt in snow without hat, gloves or boots. I could have gotten frostbite.”
“That was five years ago. Besides, it’s just for a few days. I just want you to hold onto something for me.” We sat in a coffee shop, the kind with green walls and hanging lights and a counter full of baked goods and a coffee fountain. The smell of coffee and cinnamon wrapped me in comfort. Too bad my best friend had to ruin the mood.
I would do almost anything for Ali. My record, criminal and otherwise, proves it. She looked at me with pleading eyes that would have been more fitting coming from a deer than a raccoon. We can’t all be wolves.
Ali and I got the short end of the magic pile, but I’m the only one complaining. Ali thinks being small allows for heightened entertainment. Of course, she is a raccoon, and tends to have the playful and somewhat rascally nature such a creature would have.
“Is it illegal?” I could think of several things Ali would ask me to hold onto, and every one of them ended with a jail sentence.
“No, of course not.” Ali had the good sense to look offended (purely for the benefit of the people in the coffee shop overhearing the conversation). Ali and I both knew her tendency to stray outside the lines of legality, and I was always trying to drag her back into a safe and sane world.
“Dangerous?” I trust my friend—mostly. But I know her too well. Ali had that guilty look about her.
Ali looked out the window, seemingly lost in thought. I knew she was avoiding my question.
“Well?” I wanted to say no instead of qualifying the request, but for all the trouble Ali has gotten me into, I have to admit a part of me enjoyed it, except the evening we spent at the police station after taking a nice long dip in the public pool—after hours of course.
I love swimming and the breaking-in part was actually loads of fun. Waiting for Mom and Dad to show up and community service; however, was not. Not to mention Grandma’s lectures in front of the family for two hours over the course of two separate family dinners. She then asked me to invite Ali over for the third dinner.
I hid Ali from Grandma for a half-year after that incident worried that Grandma would harass her, and Ali would start laughing when Grandma’s voice started squeaking with displeasure. Grandma's a wolf through and through, but I come by my voice honestly. And that would be the end of the only friend I ever really had, at least the only one who knew the real me.
Ali habitually caused trouble. I had good reason to say no up front. She grinned at me, the toothy kind of grin that tells me she has been up to no good and I’m either the clean-up crew or going along for the ride and then leaned in, whispering as if we were planning to rob a bank.
At least she answered the question honestly.“Yes." It’s dangerous. Not the object itself, but where I got it. Definitely.”
“And where did you get it?” I tried to be nonchalant, but Ali and me were the kind of Weres who could change at will, independent of moon cycle, time of day, or anything else. Not that I enjoyed being a mouse, but sometimes being very small had advantages. Apparently being a raccoon is loads of fun. When I’m not jealous of wolves, I’m jealous of Ali and her raccoon form. At least she seemed to enjoy it.
“The creepy old guy that lives off Grady road.”
“The haunted house?” We both called it that, although personally I don’t believe in ghosts. It’s just an old Victorian with white paint peeling, dark windows, and gnarly trees out front.
“That’s the one. I think he’s a sorcerer.” Ali’s eyes lit up with enthusiasm and somewhere in those brown sparkles my fate had been written out, hopefully by hand and in pencil so that I could erase it and start again.
“And he just gave it to you?” This is where knowing your friends comes in handy.
“Well, no, not exactly.”
“Then you stole it.” I tried to look like Grandma then, but I’m afraid my eyes are not piercing enough.
“Kind of.”
“How is that not illegal?”
“Because it doesn’t belong to him.”
I made Ali backtrack and tell me the whole story. The gist of it was that she stole an amulet from a wizard that lives in the haunted house at the edge of Grady Way. Initially it was something of a lark. She liked breaking and entering as a raccoon to see what she could get away with. I think something of our animal natures comes out in human form as well, which leads me to believe that mice are not as timid as folklore would make them out to be.
While in the house, Ali watched the wizard use the amulet to shapeshift. He was practicing different shapes. A rumor had been circulating in the were-community that one of our experienced shifters had lost their power to shift by some magic. Ali decided that the gossip must be true and waited until the house was empty to steal the amulet back.
And that’s where I came in.
“So, you’re afraid this guy will kill you, and you decided that I make a better target?”
“You do make a smaller target, but he saw my car and tracked me to my house and even accused me of taking it. Do you believe the nerve of that guy?” Ali is not the most logical of individuals. She was truly and honestly offended.
My internal compass was pointing toward yes. I know it sounds crazy, but somehow I have enough of the mischief-maker in me to like the idea of stealing a wizard’s toy or at least possessing a stolen wizard’s toy. Instead I asked, “And if I said no?”
“I would sleep in my car for the next few weeks.” I have to hand it to Ali. She always had a plan B, C, and D.
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
Ali pulled a paper bag out of her pocket and handed it to me under the table. Anyone watching would think we were in the middle of a drug deal or something from the secrecy and glances we made around the coffee shop to make sure no one was looking.
I peeked inside. The amulet looked a bit like a lumpy rock hanging on a cord, not even a c
ool leather cord or a silver chain, It seriously looked like twine. Okay, so it wasn't valuable. Not only would the keeper of the ugly little talisman not want it back, they'd probably thank Ali for stealing it. I carefully studied her face. Okay, so the joke wasn't on me. She was wearing her utterly serious expression. She really wanted my help.
Chapter 6
Rob wanted to take me with him to scout out a few of the properties he had found. He usually goes alone, but I figured he wanted to apologize for last week and lunch with an outing definitely qualified as a satisfactory apology. We had a small office, but when I was out, Rob called in Shelly, a retired real estate agent who helped him get started years ago. She didn’t mind filling in a few times a month.
Spokane itself was a bit crowded for what Francis needed, but some of the outlying properties would work perfectly. The first few stops were too small and immediately crossed off the list. Our third stop was a three bedroom one-story a few miles outside of Cheney.
The style was a seventies family home with a master and guest bathroom, newly updated. While we did the walk-through, I said, “This is a nice one.”
Rob looked out the window to view the pine trees scattered on the property. “Too close to the freeway.”
“You can’t even tell.” Well, I couldn’t, anyway.
“He’s a vampire. They’re a sensitive sort.” That figured. The great thing about picky buyers is that they know exactly what they want because they’ve researched, which also means that if you can find exactly what they want, you’ll make a sale. Finding the perfect place was the hard part.
I marked my page with an arrow down and wrote the word freeway next to it. “Okay, what’s next?”
Rob grinned and his whole face lit up when he looked at me. I found my stomach do a flip flop. I sighed. This was Andrea’s fault. She was the one who told me I was in love, otherwise, I wouldn’t have noticed how good he looked this morning. Well, I would have noticed, but only in my heart, not my head. “About fifteen minutes away we’ve got a really good prospect.”
I used to be really comfortable talking to Rob. We would talk about music and books, the latest in politics or art. He was intelligent and fun. And now that I suddenly felt butterflies when he was next to me, I couldn’t string two words together, even after the talk we had about feeling comfortable around each other. Awkward.
A long stretch of highway and all I could think of was how much I wanted to be back at the office hiding behind my computer. Rob noticed. How could he not? “What’s going on?
I sighed. Some conversations are just not appropriate for the workplace. Of course, Rob hasn’t exactly followed workplace etiquette but that’s not my problem. Well, it is…
I answered in the only way I could. “Nothing.”
“Oh.” Rob seemed upset, and I felt sorry for him, but what else am I supposed to say? He took a deep breath, looked like he was about to say something, shook his head and then put his foot on the gas. We were up to ten miles over the speed limit and Rob’s limit is usually five over.
“You’re going a bit fast.”
I was trying to be helpful but he took it badly and growled under his breath.
Rob took a deep breath and then said, “Look, do you want to go with me on the next full moon?”
My heart leapt in my chest and I had to force myself to stop and think. Just because I like a fellow does not mean that I should date him and look what happened to those other girls in the office. What the heck was going on here?
Rob asked me out on a full moon. The idea shocked me. I almost said yes—wanted to say yes. My Grandma’s favorite phrase passed down from her grandma came to mind…fiddlesticks.
“Can’t we go out on a day that isn’t a full moon?” I felt a small constriction as my throat tightened. I wanted to cry, mostly because I knew things that Rob didn’t. I knew that I belonged to the rodent, not the lupine family. And I also knew what werewolves thought of other weres, the un-wolfy kind.
“How will we know if we’re meant for each other?” Rob asked.
“The same way anybody knows.” I stared out the window at the trees flashing by.
Rob’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. I wondered if he was angry with me. He turned his head for a moment, and the anguish I saw in his eyes shocked me. Rob was in love…with me. He swallowed and turned back to the road. “I thought. Never mind.”
We missed our turn, but I was in no way going to tell Rob that now. I softened my voice, wondering if I had hurt him somehow with my brusque attitude. “Please tell me.”
“I just thought I saw something a few days ago.” Vague, but I knew what he meant and it scared me.
“And you think a tumble on the desks will tell you if it was real?” I tried to be cool, but my whole body ached with loneliness. I’d never been with another were. I’d kissed a few humans before, but that’s as far as it went. I wouldn’t even know what to do on a moon night. I hardly know what to do at any other time. I ached to be held.
Rob didn’t answer. He just stared at the road. I tried to relax, to lean back in my seat and pretend that it didn't matter. Well, at least I could get us going in the right direction. “We missed the turn a few miles back.”
Rob nodded and pulled off the road along a muddy turn-off next to a field. He drove the whole way to the house in silence. I wanted to make it better, to say something to take back my sarcasm, but I knew that the end result would be the unveiling of my limitations and I’ve had enough rejection.
I needed help. Ali was definitely not the person to go to with a problem like this, but maybe my sister Andrea could help. I hoped so, because otherwise, I'd be spilling some top secret information for nothing.
Chapter 7
Andrea’s husband worked as a night shift security guard at a manufacturing plant. The kids went to bed at nine, leaving Andrea plenty of time to explain the ways of the wolf to me. We hadn’t been close as kids. Not that Andrea teased me the way Todd did or anything like that. Andrea was just too old to pay much attention. I spent time with my niece and nephew, of course, but I still felt awkward at times with the family.
I flopped on the sofa with a frown. “He asked me to go with him on moon night.”
Andrea nodded, her eyes filled with compassion. Andrea was the only one in my family who really understood how painful the mouse shifting thing was for me.
“I asked if we could go another night and then I insulted him so much that he didn’t even answer.”
“Jen, you can’t spend your life pushing people away. The shift is only three days out of the month and you let it run your life.”
“He asked how we would know if we were meant for each other. And you said that wolves run in packs on the full moon until they find their mate, so I’m obviously not mate material anyway. Besides, he brings his trysts to the office and he’s not exactly careful about who finds out or how he leaves the office.” My heart ached even as I spoke. I knew she was right. Every person I knew had experienced at least a boyfriend, maybe even a few kisses. Sixteen and never been kissed? Try twenty-two. Okay, so I had kissed, but that was it.
“If he’s already caught your scent and you really are meant to be his mate, then all the time he spends with other wolves will only hurt you when he finally notices, and it looks like he has.”
“Didn’t it hurt you? Knowing how many other women Cal’s been with?” I didn’t understand the process and never wanted to. Now I had to find a way to let Rob down easy and somehow keep our professional relationship comfortable.
“It really is different for you, isn’t it? What do you do on moon nights?” Andrea turned on the lamp next to the easy chair and settled in. We were drinking tea, mostly because Andrea banned soda from the house, and my ginger ale addiction would have to wait.
I sipped the peppermint tea and shrugged. “I lock myself in the closet and wait for the change. I stay there until it’s done.”
“Why on earth would you do that?” Andrea looked horrif
ied and I couldn’t understand why. She had been part of the moon night rituals after all.
“I always have.”
“But you’re not a child anymore.” Andrea looked shocked and I remember now that she left the house while I was still in junior high. How could she know that my moon habits hadn’t changed?
“It’s not safe. I’m the smallest were-type and any number of things could happen to me.” The oddest thing was that Ali often talked me into changing to mouse form outside the full moon. I didn't mind being a mouse as long as the world wasn't full of werewolves.
“That sounds like dad.” Andrea’s thin grimace and her frown gave away exactly what she thought about my self-imposed prison.
“You’ve never had a wolf trap you between his paws. I snuck out once and felt more like a chew toy than an adventurer.” Years and years ago as an adolescent mouse, I made my great escape which ended with a terrifying moment when some jerk of a wolf decided to mess with me. For the wolf it was all in fun, but when your entire body is the size of someone’s mouth, such play is excruciating.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything? We could have guarded you or something.”
I never intended to give away the humiliation I felt at overhearing what Grandma really thought of me. I kept my feelings of inadequacy as close as a heartbeat for so long that when I started talking, it felt that my throat would close up from the dust of disuse. Somehow I managed to keep going. I told Andrea everything. My fears. My faults. How I got by on Moon nights.
When I finished, the compassion in Andrea’s eyes gave me some comfort. “I’m sorry. I knew some of the kids picked on you, but I didn’t realize how much it has affected you. Frankly, I was always jealous.”
“You, what?” I stared at her. Jealous of me? What crazy world was this?
“You change at will and into a form that no one else has. The reason everyone teased you is because they secretly wanted to be a mouse, too. When you and Ali got in trouble for sneaking into the classrooms after hours and drawing wolf butts all over the chalkboards, people in my school were talking about it. And believe me, it was with the kind of awe reserved for hot guys in leather jackets.”
Moon Struck: Book 1 (When, Were, and Howl) Page 3