He lifted his hand from Matty’s shoulder to cup his cheek. ‘What’s going on inside that clever brain of yours, kiddo?’
‘Daddy went away on a trip, too. He didn’t say goodbye.’
Oh God. Kiki took a step towards them, but Aaron forestalled her by crouching down so his face was at the same level as Matty’s. ‘Your daddy had to go away for his work, but he’ll be back, and I will be, too. I’ll be gone for two nights, that’s all. Did you know I’m a big brother, just like you?’
Matty shook his head, but he looked more interested than worried now.
Aaron shifted position to rest on one knee. ‘I’ve got a little brother and his name is Luke. One of the things I need to do while I’m away is make sure he’s all right. You understand that, don’t you? I see the way you look out for Charlie.’
‘She needs my help, she’s too little to take care of herself.’
Kiki crossed the room to kneel next to her son. ‘And you do a great job. I’m so proud of you, little man.’
Aaron shared a smile with her then turned back to Matty. ‘Luke is a lot bigger than Charlie, but I still need to look out for him, make sure he’s not getting into any trouble without me.’
Matty took a breath and straightened his shoulders. ‘You should go and see him then. I’ll take care of Charlie and Mummy until you get back.’ He sounded so solemn and serious Kiki wanted to snatch him into her arms, but that would ruin their little man-to-man moment.
‘I know you’ll do a fine job.’ Aaron straightened up and dusted off the knees of his jeans. He raised his head and sniffed loudly. ‘Something smells good. Let’s go downstairs and set the table ready for dinner.’
Kiki watched her son trot away at Aaron’s heels in amazement. With just a few words, his worries had been alleviated and his confidence bolstered. Between Aaron, Daniel and Richard, perhaps he would finally have the positive male role models he needed. He should have been able to rely on his father for that, but Kiki knew from bitter experience how sadly lacking parents could be. She had her own responsibility to bear for all this, too. She’d let it go on for too long, allowed Neil to hurt her and bully the children.
Memories of all the cruel jibes she’d endured, the hurt and fear flashing in Matty’s eyes as he heard his father call her stupid, and worse. Much worse. She was as bad as the rest of them. Neil, her own parents. Humiliation, shame and self-loathing rocked her and she covered her face with her hands. No tears, no tears. She needed to own this, to make it right, and there was no time for self-indulgence.
‘Mummy?’
She pinched her cheeks hard with her thumbs to stem the fluttering in her throat, then forced her head up with a bright smile. ‘Yes, poppet?’
Charlie snuggled into her side, the bumblebee cushion tucked under her arm. ‘I’m hungry.’
‘Me, too. Let’s go downstairs before those boys gobble everything up.’
Kiki smoothed her hand over the edge of her daughter’s quilt and smiled. Already asleep, Charlie still maintained a firm grip on the bee cushion. Mr Bunny was tucked in next to her, but the tatty old rabbit had a rival now. The soft lights twinkled around the bed and she reached down to switch them off, then changed her mind. She could do that when she came to bed later.
Treading softly, she left the room and pulled the door until a small gap remained. Soft voices drifted from the bedroom next door. Leaning against the frame, she raised her hand to wave when Matty glanced up from the book he and Aaron were studying. ‘Did you know there are nine planets, Mummy?’
‘Yes, I did. Although I heard some people don’t think that Pluto is really a planet.’
Aaron made a rude noise, which made Matty giggle. ‘Pluto is too a planet.’
‘I never said it wasn’t!’ Kiki laughed and held up her hands in mock surrender. ‘Five more minutes, you two.’ She left them to it before either could argue with the deadline.
Settling back into a slightly rickety garden chair, Kiki raised her glass and took a sip of cold white wine. She’d avoided alcohol until Mia had pointed out they were both guilty of allowing their mother to dictate their actions. They’d shared a bottle of disgustingly sweet fizzy wine and stayed up half the night giggling. It had been just a few weeks before Mia married Jamie and they’d shared their hopes and fears for the future. It seemed like half a lifetime ago.
She took another sip, savouring the crisp, dry flavour. Whatever they might say to each other about escaping the past, neither she nor Mia were regular drinkers. Kiki stuck to a single glass, and only when she had an occasion to mark. Never to numb, never to forget. Even at the worst times with Neil, she’d never been tempted to fall into a bottle.
Swapping her glass for her daybook on the garden table, Kiki nibbled on the end of her pen and rested her head on the back of her chair. The setting sun turned the sky into a wash of reds, oranges and pinks. Evensong danced from tree to tree, the chorus picked up by different birds as they gave thanks for the day. Her eyes drifted closed. For all the ups and downs, it had been a good day. The first day of her new life. She was safe, the kids were safe, and Neil was hundreds of miles away. She had time to breathe at last.
Opening her eyes, she folded back the spine on her book and drew a line down the centre of a clean page. At the top of the left column she wrote ‘changes’ and on the right ‘goals’. She started to add points to each side—stop lip-biting, no crying, backbone! all went in the change column. Second job, veg patch, read a book a week she listed under goals. Second job. She allowed herself a smile. Mia had been delighted at her suggestion, surprising Kiki with how quickly she’d added extra responsibilities.
‘I think I might have started your son on a new obsession.’
She jumped in her seat, sending the plastic chair rocking precariously. Aaron leapt forwards and grabbed the back to steady it before she tumbled over onto the grass. The warmth from his fingers soaked into her skin, and goose bumps raced down her arm. It must have grown cold without her noticing. Kiki pressed a hand to still her racing heart. ‘You startled me.’
He took a step back, tucking his hands in his front pockets. ‘No kidding. I didn’t mean to disturb you, just wanted to let you know I finally persuaded him to go to sleep.’
Kiki checked her watch. It was closer to half an hour than the five minutes she’d stipulated. ‘I lost track of time.’ She started to get up, but he waved her back down.
‘Charlie’s out like a light. I’ve loaded the dishwasher and put it on so you can take your time and finish whatever you’re working on. I just wanted to see if you needed anything before I get on with my packing.’
Was there anything he didn’t think of? How on earth had she wound up beneath the same roof as someone so kind and thoughtful? And handsome. She rubbed her arms to warm them, and drive out the errant thought. ‘It’s cooler than I expected. I think I’ll come in.’
‘Stay there, I’ll grab you a jumper.’ He loped off before she could protest, returning a few seconds later with a thick, Guernsey-style sweater.
The soft wool eased the chill in an instant, though she had to roll the sleeves a couple of times to leave her hands free. ‘Thank you.’ She tugged the thick length of her hair free from the high neck with a laugh. ‘I really should do something about this. It’s more trouble than its worth.’
‘I like it.’ His eyes widened in surprise as though he hadn’t meant to speak aloud. He scuffed his toe in the grass. ‘Anyway, lots to do before tomorrow, so I’ll leave you to it. G’night.’
She blinked at his rapidly retreating back, not sure how she felt about the idea Aaron had noticed her hair enough to form a liking for it. She shook it off. He was probably just being polite and, besides, didn’t most men prefer long hair on women? ‘Don’t let your imagination run away with you,’ she muttered to herself and bent back over her list.
Chapter Twelve
By the time Aaron let himself into Luke’s flat with his spare key, he was re
ady for a shower and a cold beer. Not necessarily in that order. His suit jacket hung like a damp rag from his shoulders and his tie flew at lower than half-mast. The tube had been rammed, worse than he remembered it. Between the sour sweat and foul-smelling junk food filling the carriage, he’d been lucky to keep his long-since-eaten lunchtime sandwich down.
He sniffed his sleeve, wrinkled his nose and shrugged off his jacket. The dry cleaner’s would need to work a miracle to freshen it up. Unbuttoning his sleeves, he rolled them to the elbow and gave his hands a quick wash at the kitchen sink before opening the fridge. A wry smile tugged his mouth. The contents could be displayed at the Tate Modern—Portrait of a Single Man. His own hadn’t looked too dissimilar a couple of days previously. No child-sized yoghurts, a vegetable drawer stuffed with beer rather than salad and vegetables. With just one trip to the supermarket, Kiki had transformed his sorry shelves into a cornucopia of delights. He knew which version he preferred.
Popping the tab on a can, Aaron took a deep drink and smacked his lips as the bitter, refreshing taste hit the perfect spot. He dragged his small wheeled suitcase towards the back of the flat to satisfy the second-most-pressing need, now the first had been temporarily sated. Stowing his case in one corner of Luke’s bedroom, he fished out a change of clothes and dragged his weary body to the shower.
A fresh beer sat on the edge of the sink when he stepped out of the cubicle feeling much more human. ‘Hey, Spud!’ he called out as he wrapped a towel around himself and swiped the condensation off the mirror.
The bathroom door pushed open. ‘Hey, yourself. I’ve phoned for pizza. It’ll be here in about twenty minutes.’
Aaron’s stomach rumbled. Salad and vegetables had their place, but an extra-large spicy with double mushrooms was hard to beat. He studied his brother through the mirror. Luke looked as knackered and bedraggled as Aaron had felt. ‘Give me two minutes and the bathroom’s all yours.’ Luke toasted him with his own beer and left him to get changed.
Belly full, a third beer rejected in favour of a Diet Coke, Aaron dug out his phone and checked for messages.
Matty says to tell you the big red spot on Jupiter is really a storm.
He shook his head. It was the fourth text he’d received from Kiki since leaving that morning. Each one a different fact about one of the planets. The kid was a sponge.
‘Got yourself a girlfriend?’
The sly question from Luke blindsided him. ‘What? No! Nothing like that. Mia’s sister needed a place to stay so I offered up the cottage.’
‘Sister? Which sister?’ Luke’s sharp tone was in marked contrast to the lazy teasing of his previous question.
Aaron put his phone to one side and sat forward. ‘Kiki. The middle one. She’s left her husband and needs a bit of moral support. Turned up with a boot full of stuff and two kids in tow. Matty, the eldest, is a sweet boy, a bit shy and nervous. I showed him one of Dad’s space books and he’s hooked. Keeps sending me facts and figures.’
Luke frowned, blew out a breath and sat back. ‘So, you just opened your door to them? How long are they staying?’
‘Yes. Do you have a problem with that? Jesus, Spud, she looks fit to cry if someone looks at her the wrong way and the boy is a bag of nerves. The daughter seems more resilient, but she’s only a tot. They needed help, so I’m helping them. Husband’s a bastard, according to Daniel.’ His brother’s odd reaction was very unlike him. Luke would be the first to give the coat off his back to a stranger in need. ‘What’s got into you?’
Luke shook his head. ‘Nothing, I just want you to be careful, that’s all. You always were a knight in shining armour and broken girls have always been your speciality.’
Broken girls? What the hell was that supposed to mean? A few of the girls he’d dated had had a tough time, but didn’t everyone these days? ‘You’re talking out of your arse, Spud.’
‘Sure, sure,’ Luke scoffed. ‘Out of interest, how many of your ex-girlfriends end up in a serious relationship after they break up with you? You’ve been to at least two of their weddings that I know of.’
Irritation pricked his skin. His brother didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. ‘What about you, Casanova? You’re not exactly one for finding the future Mrs Luke Spenser and settling down, are you? Have you dated anyone for longer than a week or two?’
The colour drained from Luke’s face. He stormed from the room towards the small kitchen. Aaron listened to him slamming around for a few moments while he ran back over their exchange trying to work out what had set Luke off. They picked at each other, sure, but that’s what brothers did. And there was nothing he’d said that wasn’t true. His brother changed girlfriends like he changed suits. No harm, no trail of broken hearts, but he was a serial dater. Better find out what the dramatic exit was all about.
Leaning against the open kitchen door, Aaron drained the last of his Diet Coke and held out his can to Luke as he stalked past him to pummel the poor, unoffending pizza box into the recycling bin. Luke dropped the can on the floor and stamped it flat, sending a spray of liquid and his own curses into the air. He had to pass Aaron again to get to the cloth in the sink, but this time he wouldn’t let him past. ‘Talk to me.’
‘I’m really not in the mood for your big brother shit, just leave it.’ Luke jerked his arm, but Aaron held tight. Bigger and bulkier than his younger brother, there was no way he could be shaken off if he didn’t want to be.
‘Not happening.’
‘You really are the most infuriating wanker.’ Luke clenched his fists, but at least he didn’t try to pull his arm free of Aaron’s grip this time.
He shrugged the insult off. He’d been called much worse. Mostly by Luke. ‘Big brother’s prerogative.’
All the fight seemed to leave Luke in a single sad huff of breath. ‘It’s nothing. It’s stupid.’
Aaron shifted his grip from Luke’s arm to his shoulder. ‘Not if it has you this upset, Spud. Talk to me.’ He softened his voice to make it less of a demand this time.
Colour spotting his cheeks, Luke cast a quick glance up at him through the tumble of curls shading his eyes. ‘Do you believe in love at first sight?’
The question stunned Aaron. Funny, flirty, devil-may-care Luke had never been one for such flights of fancy. There was no humorous glint in his eyes, though. Aaron bit back the teasing comment on the tip of his tongue and searched for the right response. ‘Do you?’
A rough laugh rasped from Luke’s throat. ‘If you’d asked me a year ago, I would have laughed in your face.’
‘But not now?’
His brother twisted away and Aaron released his shoulder to let him go. Luke paced back and forth across the fake-wood flooring, keeping his face averted so Aaron couldn’t read his expression. ‘It was last summer. I saw her in the beer garden behind The George. There was something about her, like she drew all the light down, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. It took her two drinks to notice me watching her. When she did, she walked away from her friends mid-sentence, like she felt it, too.’
Aaron cast his mind back twelve months. The George was a popular pub with the art crowd and it had become their regular haunt by default of his friendship with Daniel. Aaron had been seeing Natalie, a girl he worked with, and they’d been pretty tight for a while. With Daniel up to his neck in booze and sycophants, the three men had drifted apart. Natalie had been struggling with a difficult performance review from her boss and Aaron had been too focused on helping her through it. Chris Atkins was a notorious misogynist and he’d knocked her confidence badly.
Things had picked up in the autumn—he’d persuaded Natalie to apply for a job in a new department and she’d aced her interview. With both of them busy, they’d drifted apart. Luke’s pointed comment about his preference for broken girls drifted to the surface. Or had he deliberately let her go once she didn’t need him any more? Aaron shrugged off the unwelcome thought. This was about Luke’s love life, not h
is own. Way to avoid the difficult introspection, tough guy.
‘I never realised.’
Luke stopped pacing and leaned back against the counter with a sigh. ‘I hardly saw you. We were so wrapped up in each other, it was like the rest of the world vanished for a couple of months. I thought she was ‘the one’. I thought she felt the same until I woke up the morning after we…’ He swallowed so hard, Aaron could see his Adam’s apple move. ‘I woke up one morning and she was just gone.’
Jesus. Aaron had been on the end of his fair share of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ conversations. If he thought about it, most of his relationships ended that way. Not that it bothered him who left who, and it wasn’t like any of them had ended badly. He wasn’t attracted to the kind of women who thrived on drama. A hug, a kiss on the cheek and a kind parting word was the best way. He’d certainly never dated anyone who just walked out on him. ‘Have you seen her since?’
Luke shook his head. ‘Not once in all the months since she left. It was like she vanished off the face of the earth. Her mobile number was disconnected and she never responded to any of the emails I sent her.’ He scrubbed his face with his hands. ‘I thought I’d got over it, and then a few weeks ago I could have sworn I caught a glimpse of her. By the time I crossed the road she was gone. It happened again in the supermarket, but I checked every aisle and the queues at the tills…’
‘Oh, Spud. Why didn’t you say anything?’ Aaron crossed the room and drew his brother into a hug.
Luke’s next words were muffled against his shoulder. ‘I dunno. At first I was too shocked, like she’d walk through the door any minute. Then I was so angry, I didn’t want to waste another second thinking about her. And now, it’s like I’m going crazy—seeing her, or girls that remind me of her. It’s probably all that time we’ve been spending with Mia.’
Wedding Bells at Butterfly Cove Page 10