FLAWLESS

Home > Other > FLAWLESS > Page 20
FLAWLESS Page 20

by Leena Varghese


  Giana nodded, remembering the meeting when she had gone to deliver his food in her fairy gown. “You could see my soul...” she whispered.

  “And you could see mine,” he said softly, running a hand on her cheek.

  “You didn’t say when you would return,” her voice wobbled at the words.

  Max stepped closer. “Everything went crazy back at home. Eva’s mother had taken ill suddenly. My father-in-law called me from Bangalore. Things went haywire. But it was good that I went. We talked for the first time. It was as if everybody was carrying such a burden. They forgave me. I am the only link to their daughter.”

  “You could have told me. I thought you just...” she paused on a painful breath.

  “Abandoned you? No! My sweetheart! I wanted to plan how to tell you everything. I never thought Ricky would follow you here. I blurted it out to make him leave.”

  “So you barged in and declared that I was going to be your wife!” she cried, her voice hoarse with tears.

  He clasped her shoulders and turned her around. “It was said with the utmost faith that you feel about me as deeply as I feel about you. I am sorry that it was so sudden! I am asking you now! Will you marry me Giana?”

  She felt a huge wave of tears engulfing her. “Marriage is no guarantee that you wouldn’t dump me like Ricky did. Why should I marry you, Max?”

  “Marry me, Giana, so that I can protect and cherish you. No one would dare to touch you or look at you with disrespect from now on. I want everyone to know that you are spoken for. You are mine, forever,” he whispered deeply, his mouth only an inch from hers. He wanted to drown in that kiss and never surface.

  “Is that the only reason, Max, to protect me because you feel sorry for me?” she asked huskily, tears clogging her throat.

  “The most important reason is that I love you. I don’t know if you would ever need me as much as I need you in my life. You have managed beautifully without a man in spite of all the difficulties you faced.” He smiled ruefully. “You fought both Ricky and Benjamin without help. You stood by my side when I was at a dead end. It is my need to have you in my life.”

  “I need you too, Max!” she cried. “I have never known anyone who understood me so completely. Perhaps Annabel does. But no one knows me or makes me feel secure like you do. You showered me with respect and care, made me feel whole again.”

  “Then say it, Giana! You are free to say it now. No one stands between us anymore.”

  Giana felt herself tremble with the sobs that racked her body. He gathered her close immediately to his chest, holding her tight as she wept away her agony and sorrow and loneliness for the first time.

  Max let her cry. He could have wept with her, in pain, joy and relief. “I missed you so much! I wanted to call you. But then, what I had to say couldn’t be said without facing you. I love you, Giana! I meant every word I said in the cafe. Seeing Ricky brought out the caveman in me. I wanted to stake my claim before he could come any closer to you.”

  “I love you too, Max!” she raised her face to his and reached up on tip toe to kiss him gently on his mouth. She could do that now freely as he had said.

  Max let out a groan and hauled her up into him higher, bringing her face to face. His mouth finally swooped hungrily, doing what he had wanted to do since he had come to the cafe. She kissed him back and let him touch her, suddenly released from all chains. Max placed gentle kisses on her brow and slid his hands beneath her jacket to run them over her back and hips.

  “What do you think of a January wedding? I have spoken to my parents about you. They are very happy for me.”

  “January is only a couple of weeks away!” said Giana, bubbling with laughter and tears, looking up at his face. She caressed his stubbled cheek, touched a brow, traced his jaw in wonder and sank her hands in his dark hair. She was free to touch him. It was a miracle beyond her expectations. The novelty and the magnitude of it terrified her just as much.

  “What is it?” Max probed, attuned to her mood.

  “I have never truly been a wife to Ricky. Do you trust me to be a good partner to you?” she asked, sadly.

  “There is no perfect knowledge for how to be a partner, or a parent. It is always a learning experience. All that we need is love and faith to help us move on. I made mistakes with Eva that I will regret forever. But I will work hard to ensure that you and Toby are happy with me.”

  “I promise to prove myself worthy of your love, Max!” she promised.

  Max sealed the words with a sweet kiss. Desire tightly leashed, he slid his mouth to the crook of her shoulder. “I want to give you something before your mother and sister come home.”

  “Mamma must be so upset after that scene at the cafe. I was furious with her!” said Giana regretfully. “Hope she didn’t insult you again?” She held his hands and kissed them.

  “You were courageous enough to be truthful. I told her that I intent to marry you. But I think she understands it all better now. She has been just as shattered by the loss of loved ones as you have been...as we all have been.”

  Giana felt a great burden lift off her shoulders at those words. He led her to the tree and pointed to the small box right on top of the other gifts piled together.

  She was thrilled to receive her first gift of love. The beautiful ring placed in its blue velvet bed was enough to bring a deluge of tears that he quickly kissed away. Overwhelmed by the happiness flooding her heart, she threw her arms around his neck. The champagne diamond gleamed under the Christmas tree lights as Max put it on her finger.

  “The colour reminded me of your eyes.” He kissed her again thoroughly, assured of her response this time, caressing her with loving hands.

  The clanking of the gates and voices outside told him that he needed to control himself. When Carol came in followed by Annabel, Max and Giana were waiting for them, suitably composed. The initial awkwardness was dispelled by Max’s first step to bridge the gap between them. He talked sincerely about his work, his first marriage, the accident, his son and his family. He confirmed his intention to marry Giana and adopt Toby. The younger women could see that Carol was drawn in, impressed by his candour and character.

  She offered him a late supper which he politely declined and rose to leave, his eyes sending a silent message to Giana. It was Carol who walked him to the gates, discussing further plans. As he stood towering over her, she apologized for her rude behaviour in the past few months.

  “Mamma’s sprouted a heart,” chirped Annabel, peeping through the window.

  “She always had a heart. That is why it hurt her so much.”

  “So the cranberry gown worked its magic,” trilled Annabel.

  Giana laughed at Annabel’s analysis.

  “I could take up matchmaking as a career option.” Then quite uncharacteristically, Annabel became wistful, “I miss Papa and anna. They would have loved Max. It is such a long time since something good happened in this house.”

  “Yes, I miss them too,” whispered Giana feeling a mixture of melancholy and ecstasy.

  “Do you think I should talk to her about joining Salsa classes next year?” Annabel was all perked up again.

  “You mean dance with strange men? You know she hates dancing,” Giana teased.

  “Who’s asking her to dance? I was talking about myself,” Annabel grumbled.

  Giana gave a rare impish grin and they burst into laughter.

  When Carol returned, she hugged both her daughters quietly. Words were not necessary as they all knew that it was time to let go. The warmth of that embrace was healing for mother and daughters. True to her nature, she briskly ordered them to bed saying that Max was coming for breakfast the next day to discuss the wedding plans.

  *

  As the night deepened, Giana paced the floor looking at the clock. It had been such an eventful evening. A shower of rain brought the whiff of damp earth into the room from the garden. It was past twelve and she was restless with a million things jostling for her at
tention. She had hardly had a word with Max who had mostly conversed with Carol during his visit after his proposal. He had sent a message indicating his wish to talk with her. She had wound up for the day quickly and now it was already past midnight.

  There were so many things she wanted to ask... Just to confirm once more that he was real. That he had come back. That she hadn’t conjured it up in her imagination. She curled her fingers into her palm and felt the coolness of the matte, yellow gold ring against her fingers. The single, solitaire champagne diamond dazzled her with its brilliance as she held it up for inspection the umpteenth time. It was all real! Her heart sang. Max had come back to her!

  Annabel came in to check on her. “I saw the light on. What’s up?” She flounced into the room with a fat textbook under her arm and a pencil stuck behind her ear.

  “I was...thinking about work.”

  “Yeah, sure! After the proposal of the century, that’s exactly what all brides would think about.”

  With a flustered laugh, Giana sat on the bed, patting Toby as he stirred.

  “You should take a walk in the fresh air. It helps to have a good night’s sleep,” said Annabel with a cheeky smile.

  Giana looked at her incredulously.

  “Go! I will sit here. I have to finish three chapters! It is going to be a long night!” she said with a dramatic flourish.

  “Go where?”

  “Akka! Max is most probably having a man to man conversation about his future wife with Mutt right now!”

  Giana chuckled at that. “I can’t leave Toby!”

  “Just go! I will watch him.”

  “Oh Bel!”

  “Ah...Youngsters these days! Take your time!” Annabel waved her sister away imperiously and leapt on the cushions on the couch, giggling in exuberance, textbook and all.

  Giana laughed and hugged her sister quickly.

  She unlocked the wrought iron gate on the balcony that led down to the garden. She sent Max a text message asking if she could meet him in his backyard, hesitant, that he might have slept.

  Her phone beeped in reply immediately, “I am waiting for you...”

  *

  Max opened the backdoor and quietened the frenetic yapping that ensued from Mutt at the sight of the woman crossing the wet, grassy patch. Her simple white dress was long and flowing, gleaming in the rain-drenched night. It could have been a dream if Max didn’t know better. She stepped cautiously in the dark and saw him.

  Sheer happiness lit up her face, glowing in the dull, silver rays of the moon partly covered in the clouds. Then she ran to him. He stood mesmerized with his arms open. She launched herself into his arms that bolted around her tight, lifting her high up against his chest. He twirled her around once, and then her breathless laugh was snuffed out by his ravenous kiss. He drew her under the dark awning into the shadows and pressed her back to the pillar. Words bubbled up to the surface but sank again as they sated their desire with fierce kisses until they were both panting. Max slid a hand to her bottom and brought her up to the thrust of his hips. She went limp, his hard body etched against hers.

  “I had to come!” she whispered between his kisses that stole her words and breath.

  “I was having trouble sleeping,” growled Max, hands sweeping possessively over the curves of her waist and hips, in sheer appreciation of the beautiful woman in his arms and the freedom to have her there.

  “I can’t believe that we are getting married,” she said in breathless anticipation.

  “You need reassurance,” said Max, his chest rumbling with laughter, his fingers at the first button on her dress. “I need it too...” He kissed her again to convey that solemn message.

  “I am here...Yours...” her words scattered away as Max paused in between kisses to stare at her.

  It was there, the sweet offer, the reason why Giana had come to him in complete disregard of all the rules. She was offering herself without reservations this time.

  Max could not help the surge of rampant desire that nearly razed his defences him down. “I want you so much!” His mouth swooped again, kissing her to senseless anticipation. “But I won’t do this.” He kissed her again as though those words were not enough to stop him from claiming her as his own...to take her upstairs and make love to her right now.

  Bewildered by his refusal, she looked back at him, worried. “Why not?”

  He cupped her face, his eyes full of adoration. “You deserve the best. We are going to do this the proper way. I am going to marry you next month and until then I am not going to do anything that will take your faith away from me.”

  “I trust you! I want to give all of me...The last time, at the hotel, I rejected you, and you were hurt. I am sorry...”

  “But I am not! You did the right thing. It was not the right time or the right way. It would have been irresponsible on my part to take you when I wasn’t prepared for the consequences. When we had so many unresolved issues troubling us. I have immense respect for you and your will to stand against weakness.”

  “It was beautiful! I never knew that it could be so overwhelming,” whispered Giana in awe, remembering that night. “It was only when I thought of Toby and where I was, that I was reminded of my time with Ricky and it felt so wrong. I thought about it all the time afterwards and realised how hurt you must have been. It was the memory of another hotel room and how it had turned my life upside down that revolted me. I am so sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry, love! Yes, it was beautiful...and powerful too. It had been simmering underneath the surface since I met you. It burst upon me in my weakest moment. I couldn’t have stopped myself if you hadn’t! It was a revelation of how deeply I felt for you.”

  She let her head fall on his shoulder, savouring the gentle but strong arms around her that made her feel safe for the first time in many years. “I love you, Max.”

  “I love you too. And after having made these grand promises I might just falter and lose control.” He pressed feverish kisses, on her sweet mouth, down to the pounding pulse on her throat, to the satin skin on the slopes of her breasts. He enveloped her in a warm hug and stood with her for long moments, grappling with the intense longing that hit him. Slowly, he buttoned up her dress, smoothed her tumbled curls, and drew her down the steps.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Where are we going?” She looked at him in confusion.

  “Somewhere more public, where I cannot not be tempted to change my mind.” He grinned in rueful admission that it was going to be a hellish month trying not to give in to the fire that was gnawing at him.

  “Aren’t you going to show me around your house? A future bride needs to know what she is up against,” she teased.

  Max was floored by the playfulness he was witnessing for the first time. There was so much more that he wanted to know about her. He needed to ask her questions about what she needed, about her plans. A lifetime of loving and learning to do. He wrapped his arm around her and dropped a hard kiss on her lips again. “My house will be ready for you when you step into it as my wife!” he said, solemnly promising himself that she would never regret the decision.

  “It’s too late to go out!” She laughed as he pulled her along to the gates.

  “Just a walk. We need to get to know each other.”

  She hesitated. “Will you change your mind when you get to know me? I would never bind you to an obligation.” Years of her mother’s unfair criticism had left its mark, compounded by Ricky’s outright betrayal and rejection. Her confidence as a woman had been shattered. But she felt safe to be herself with Max. She had never felt cherished like this by anyone.

  He pulled her close with an arm around her waist. “You try getting out of it and I will hound you like Benjamin the creep.”

  Her moment of uncertainty was diffused in laughter at that silly threat. “You could never be like him. You are a gentleman. I wish you were less of it though right now.”

  “Remind me that after we are married!
” his words were laced with silken promise. They walked hand in hand to the deserted beach. A few trawlers were visible on the horizon under the silver moon. They found the rickety old bench beneath the palms where they had sat months ago with Toby. Max pulled her down on the damp, wooden seat and promptly laid his head on her lap. His tall frame stretched out in a relaxed pose. It was bliss to lie there under the swaying palm fronds. He released her hair from the clip and let it whip around her face in the rain-scented breeze.

  “Toby has fabulous taste,” he said, cupping her cheek as he lay back to look up at her. “I have to tell him that I have taken his offer very seriously. He will have to share his personal space with me.” Max patted her lap to emphasize his words.

  Giana remembered the day Toby had offered Max his favourite perch.

  “He will happily do that. He missed you when you were away,” she said, laughing softly.

  “I missed him too.” He turned his face up to hers. “So, tell me your dreams, Giana...”

  “The best one is here in my arms within my reach.”

  He raised himself and kissed her tenderly. “No professional ambition?”

  Her heart felt light at the question. “Yes, some day, hopefully, my business will flourish. I want to have a team of experts working for me, maybe an office somewhere, or even a cafe of my own. But I want to spend some time with Toby first...and with you!”

  He smiled at her exuberance, curling his fingers through her hair seeing them dance in the breeze. This was the Giana he had craved to see. Free spirited, untrammelled and happy.

  “What is your dream, Max?”

  He looked at her with eyes that were dark pools of intense longing. “I want to have children with you.” His hand rested on the curve of her belly. He heard her draw a breath. “But you have your whole life ahead of you. We can wait a while, until you are ready. Would you like that, sweetheart?”

  Her smile grew radiant. “Anything you say, Max, as long as you love me until the end.”

 

‹ Prev