“Uh-uh, girlfriend,” Claire said. “You got worlds to save. Go find that Gnome and make him spill the beans.”
Did someone say ‘beans’? Sherlock asked, his head up and eyes wide.
“No beans for you, Sherlock,” Maria said.
Aww.
“We’ll be fine,” Claire continued. “If we get into any trouble, I always have my Kia to run things over with.”
This got a laugh from the crowd at Salem’s. Maria found herself wondering where the Muffler twins were.
Just as Claire and Tabby were heading out the door, Maria looked up and saw someone walking down the sidewalk, on the shop’s side. Her heart skipped a beat. Who would be walking down the street at this ungodly hour? It could only be an undesirable, she knew that for sure. Maybe a servant of the Arachnids somehow notified by the ones that got away in Oriceran? She rested her hand on the hilt of her sword, preparing for another fight.
Gramps saw her, then saw where she was looking through the now-fixed show window, and shook his head. She saw it, and let her hand drop away from the sword. Why? she was about to ask, but then the figure walked under a streetlamp, and that tall, muscular body was unmistakable.
“Joe?” Maria said, her voice breaking. This is crazy. How did he know I would be here? I’m not supposed to be here. I’m supposed to be in Oriceran, finding a Gnome and uncovering the secrets to the world in between so I can save the lost villagers—the lost villagers that are, in some way, my family.
Joe saw her through the plate-glass window. He was holding something in his hand, but Maria couldn’t make it out. Now everyone turned to see what Maria was looking at.
“Oh, no,” Salem sighed. “Gonna have to tell the poor chap that we’re closed. Doesn’t he know what time it is?”
“That’s not a customer,” Claire said, “though he is looking for something sweet.” She winked in Maria’s direction. Maria did her best to ignore it.
She ran out the front door, causing the bell to chime above her.
“Joe!” she said.
“There you are! I looked everywhere for you. I was…kind of worried. I know, I know, that sounds creepy; I stopped by your house because you forgot this at the mall and I figured you wouldn’t be coming back, with what happened with Ted and all…”
He pulled a change purse from his pocket. It had an Aztec design on it. Yep, that’s mine, all right. Joe was right, too—she would’ve never gone back to the Popcorn Palace to get it, mostly because it was just a change purse, and it only had about fifty-eight cents in it.
“Thank you,” Maria said, taking the purse back. “I suppose a tip is in order?” Her tone was playful enough, but Joe hadn’t caught it. He looked at her confusedly.
“Just joking,” Maria said. She shook the purse. The coins jingled. “Not much in there for a tip.” She gave him a weak smile. God, I’m ruining it. He’s obviously just looking for an excuse to see me, and here I am, twirling my thumbs like a nervous kid at the doctor’s office.
“Yeah,” Joe said. He scratched the back of his neck. “Well, like I said, I went to your house and all the lights were on, so I knocked, and no one answered and the dog didn’t bark… It worried me a little. I’m a security guard, after all.”
Maria found herself smiling dumbly. She knew if she looked in the mirror, she would’ve really regretted the face she was making.
“Thank you, Joe, that’s really nice. Not many guys are as chivalrous as you.”
Inside of her head, she could imagine the reaction Claire and Tabby would give when she finally told them about this conversation. ‘Chivalrous? More like creepy…’
“So, um, what are you guys up to at an ice cream place this late?” He looked at his wristwatch, the numbers glowing neon green. They said 2:08 a.m., and Maria quickly realized she’d only been in Oriceran for a matter of minutes before she came back to Earth. Funny how time works there.
Joe looked over to the left at the plate-glass show window and did a double-take.
Oh, no. Maria’s neck creaked as she swiveled her head to look.
Sure enough, the whole crew inside of Salem’s was watching her talk to Joe—even Sherlock, which was a miracle, since she hadn’t thought anything could tear him away from the prospect of food and garbage; the best of both worlds. Claire and Tabby each wore a sly smile on their face; Gramps looked on proudly, but with a hint of animosity—Maria was, after all, his little girl, no matter how old she was; Agnes and Salem had their arms around each other, and she could’ve sworn she heard Salem say, ‘Ah, young love’ through the glass; lastly, Sherlock had his nose pressed up against the glass, and each time he breathed, a little cloud of fog obscured his face.
“Yeah, just ignore them,” Maria said, chuckling awkwardly. “We can go somewhere a bit more private.” She pointed down the sidewalk, out of the light from the streetlamp. “Like over there?”
Joe nodded, a look of amusement on his face. He still held something behind his back; Maria was dying to know what it was.
Joe began to stammer. “I-I…uh, I wanted to ask you a question…” he said.
Faintly, Maria heard Sherlock’s voice in her head. He’s going to ask why you have a sword hanging around your waist and an Indiana Jones satchel over your shoulders. Probably just one of a million questions he has for you.
The words ‘Shut up’ were on her lips, but that would just make her look crazy. Still, it was good to know she could hear Sherlock even if he was inside. The telepathic effect was very much the same as talking; just as someone who was farther away would sound faded, Sherlock sounded faint in her head.
“You can ask me anything,” Maria said.
“I would’ve asked you through text message, but you weren’t responding, so I did the craziest thing I think I’ve done since smartphones came out.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, I called you,” Joe said, grinning. Maria returned the smile. “And when I got an automatic message saying your line was disconnected, I worried.” He scratched the back of his neck again. Maria was quickly realizing this was one of his tells.
Let’s hope he doesn’t ever play poker, Sherlock said, practically reading Maria’s mind.
“I’ll be honest with you, Maria. I know I might be coming off as a little bit creepy—”
“No, not at all,” she cut him off. “I think it’s…” She blushed. “Sweet. It’s sweet.”
Joe perked up, that familiar, wonderful grin on his face. “You mean it?”
Maria nodded.
“Well, okay, that’s great!”
Then he pulled out what he was hiding from behind his back—it was a bouquet of roses. Red and white and pink. Maria gasped. The smile she was wearing melted away, and her lip started to quiver.
Don’t cry, Maria. Don’t you cry, dammit. Be strong.
But that was easier said than done. No guy had ever given her roses before. Even in high school, where she wasn’t the most popular of girls, she’d had a few male suitors—but those guys usually just tried to get her to come over to their house when their parents weren’t home, or offered to take her out to the gorge, which was make out central. Gramps had given her flowers on the day she graduated from middle school, but they weren’t roses; they were called monkey-face orchids. Though they were cool as hell—the flower actually looked like a monkey’s face—and she appreciated them, it just wasn’t the same as getting flowers from a guy she’d had a crush on for such a long time.
She turned her head away and wiped the moisture from her eyes.
Joe caught on to what she was really doing and began stammering again. “I’m-I’m sor—I didn’t mean to—”
“No, don’t be sorry,” Maria said, looking up at him. “They’re beautiful.”
“Really?”
She didn’t answer with words. Instead, with the bouquet in her hands, she took two steps toward Joe and hugged him. He smelled like cologne and manly deodorant. He didn’t hug back at first, standing rigid, but after
a few seconds, she felt his body relax, and he wrapped his arms around her. Kissing him then and there crossed her mind, but she didn’t because of her current audience. She could only take so many jokes from Sherlock before she snapped, after all.
Then Sherlock spoke inside of her head: Oooh, Maria and Joey sitting in a tree—
Luckily, Joe talked, causing Maria not to focus on the Bloodhound’s quips.
“Uh, Maria, your—I never thought I’d say this to you, but…your sword is poking my ribs.”
As much as she didn’t want to let go, she quickly did. “I’m sorry,” she said.
He chuckled nervously. “It’s all right. I was going to ask about that anyway…”
Maria shook her head. “Long story.”
“Well, maybe you’d like to tell me all about it over dinner or something?” Joe replied.
“No, I don’t think I can tell you—wait, what?” The blood pumping through Maria’s veins halted, yet she could still hear her heart thundering in her chest.
“A date,” Joe said. “Like you, me, and maybe Applebee’s or Olive Garden…”
Right at that moment, Maria would’ve gone anywhere with Joe on their first date, even the heart of the Arachnids’ web in the depths of the Dark Forest, but she was finding it hard to speak. The words would come halfway up her throat and get lodged there. Now she was the one stammering.
“Y-Y-Ye,” she went on.
Suddenly, the audience thought it was the perfect time to participate.
In unison, Claire, Tabby, Agnes, Salem, and Gramps screamed, “YES!” It was loud enough to crack the plate-glass, but , of course it didn’t. Sherlock added his own YES in there, too, but it just bounced around Maria’s head.
“Yes?” Joe was saying.
Still speechless, she nodded vigorously.
“Wow! Okay, how about tomorrow night?”
Maria found her voice. “That sounds great.”
Now it was Joe’s turn to blush; his face went beet red. “Okay, I’ll, uh, pick you up tomorrow night, say seven?”
“Yes, that’s perfect,” she said.
Their eyes met, and an undeniable spark passed between them.
“Okay, I’ll be there.” He paused. “I’d better get going. My dad is going to wonder where the heck I’m at.”
“See ya,” Maria said. Then, because it seemed like a good idea at the time, she added, “I won’t wear the sword, I promise.”
He was already a few steps away, walking back in the direction he’d come, but he looked back and smiled. “You can if you want. It’ll stop muggers.” The grin grew wider. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Maria…or technically tonight.”
He left.
Maria turned back toward Salem’s shop, and all her friends’ faces were still pressed up against the glass. Claire was even making a kissy face and laying a wet one on the window. Maria just shook her head and went inside.
“And so it begins,” Claire said. She put her hand to her ear. “Do you hear that?”
“What?” Tabby answered. This was obviously a practiced skit.
“Wedding bells.”
Joey and Maria sitting in a tree F-U-C— Sherlock began.
Maria scowled at him. “Not now, buddy. Not unless you want to get put on that vegan diet.
That shut him up quick enough.
Gramps spoke next. “How sweet.” He wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye. “My little Maria is all grown up, set to go out on a date. When is it, my dear?”
Then it hit her in a big rush of guilt. How could I have been so dense?
“Oh no,” she murmured.
“What is it?” Gramps asked.
“I told Joe I’d go out with him tonight at seven.”
Gramps smile disappeared, his brow furrowing. “But the quest!”
“I know, I know. I’ll have to break it off with him.”
“No, you can’t,” Gramps said. “I’m sorry. You’re right. You are a young woman, and young women need their social lives. It’s quite unfair of me to take that away from you. Come with me to Oriceran while you can, and I will handle the rest. Our quest will prove to be long and arduous, so detours along the way are only natural.”
Her heart swelling, Maria stepped forward and hugged her grandfather tight. He let out a dusty wheeze.
“Thank you,” she said. “Thank you so much. I promise that we will still save them. I won’t give up as long as I’m alive.”
His kind eyes found hers.
“I know you won’t, Maria. I know.”
***
Salem offered them all ice cream, and the group couldn’t resist. They drowned in buckeye, vanilla, chocolate swirl, cheesecake fudge, and lemon-flavored frozen delight. This would prove to be the most delicious—but far from the most fun—detour on their quest.
They really should get a dead squirrel flavor on their menu, Sherlock told Maria.
“Yeah, I’ll let Salem know,” she replied as Salem was in the back digging out more ice cream from the freezers.
When their stomachs were full and the corners of their mouths were sticky, Claire leaned forward with her hands on her stomach. “Tab and I had better get to the hospital before her neck swells up any more.” Her hand came up to cover her mouth as she leaned closer to Maria, Salem, and Agnes. “I mean, Tabby looks enough like a bullfrog as it is.” she whispered loudly.
“Hey, I heard that,” Tabby said.
Claire winked at the rest of them, a sly smile on her face. "Only kidding. You're beautiful, Tab."
They got up and left the ice cream shop, taking Claire’s beat-up Kia; its one good headlight swept across the dark pavement of Main Street.
Gramps looked at Maria and Sherlock. “Are you two ready? Oriceran awaits…again.”
As long as there are no more Arachnids to deal with, Sherlock said. More Raffins, less giant spiders.
Maria nodded. Her head was elsewhere, though; she was thinking about Joe and his broad shoulders. Seeing him in street clothes instead of his security uniform was almost unheard of, but tonight, Maria had; later, around seven, she would see him again. And maybe again after that. It was almost too good to be true.
“All right, let’s open up the portal,” Gramps said.
“Oh, Ig,” Salem spoke, stepping forward. “I meant to discuss something with you.” Salem’s tone was that of a worried parent, and it got Maria’s attention..
“Yes, Salem?”
“The Silver Griffins will no doubt be on our case,” Salem answered.
“Already?” Maria asked.
“Yes, they work fast. They will want to know what a creature from Oriceran was doing out in the open, and why a witch took it upon herself to slay it.”
“That should be pretty self-explanatory—” Maria started.
Gramps raised a hand. “Easy, child. The Silver Griffins are only doing their jobs. They are not here, yet; before then, Maria, we must find a Gnome to help guide us.”
“So if they send an agent?” Salem asked Gramps.
“Tell them to wait for me. I won’t be long, and this won’t be the first time I’ll have smooth-talked my way out of Griffin trouble,” Gramps answered confidently. He looked from Salem to Agnes. “A little nudge?”
The couple nodded.
The circle was formed again, and they began to hum in the same tone as before. This time, Maria found she was able to sing along. The witch gig was getting easier for her. Her skin glowed blue, and she closed her eyes. Before she knew it, the portal was open, and she saw a vast expanse of land. Far off in the distance were mountains, standing tall in a dark haze.
Oriceran, Maria took a moment to appreciate it. My new home away from home.
She turned to Gramps, her head cocked. “What is that? Why is the portal opening on an empty field?”
Gramps smirked. “That is much more than an empty field, Maria. It is a kingdom!”
“A kingdom?”
Agnes and Salem were watching her with smiles on their f
aces.
“You may be strong, Maria,” Salem was saying, his hair blowing wildly from the wind that escaped the opened portal. “But there is much for you to learn.”
“Come,” Gramps said. He took Maria’s hand. “You, too, Sherlock!”
The Bloodhound didn’t look too happy about being torn away from his floor licking. On more than a few occasions, Maria thought that the Health Department would close Salem’s Ice Cream down if they saw Sherlock drooling all over the tile.
Maria reached down and scratched Sherlock behind his floppy ears. “Ready?” she asked the dog.
Do you want the truth?
“Is it about Gnomes?”
Sherlock did the canine equivalent to a shrug, which was quirking his head in one direction.
“Then no, I don’t want the truth.”
“Enough banter. Time is short if we want to get you back for your big date,” Gramps said.
Heat rose to Maria’s cheeks. The date. Right. I almost forgot. A portal opening up in the middle of an ice cream store does that to a person.
Suddenly, nerves overtook her. When it came to slaying giant spiders or traversing strange planets, Maria didn’t bat an eye—but dating the guy she’d been hung up on for the past God-knew-how-long? Whew, boy. Her palms were getting clammy.
Enough feeling nervous, she decided. Only wusses get nervous.
Tightening her grip on her satchel, which contained the music box, she plunged through the portal first, not even bothering to close her eyes.
***
Lois sat in a chair that was not as comfortable as she would’ve thought, from the looks of it. Her government-issued wand in hand, she made Tic-Tacs dance on the desk in front of her. The television screen behind her was blank of any shows…unfortunately. There was nothing she wanted to watch.
Dancing Tic-Tacs it is.
The door opened, and in came Patsy with a Hot Pocket. It was pizza-flavored; Lois could smell it.
“You’d think they’d give us more comfortable chairs since the promotion,” Lois grumbled, squirming in her chair.
“What did Mick say? ‘You can’t always get what you want?’ Yeah, that’s it,” Patsy answered. She winced. “Ooh, hot!”
The Midwest Wanderer Page 4