by Hyougetsu
“You sure he’s not just one of Master’s undead soldiers?”
Nibert shook his head.
“No, he’s different. He can talk. Brother’s trying to deal with him, but he keeps talking about...”
“About what?”
“A-About stuff that doesn’t make sense.”
Oh, so that’s who it is. Sighing, I waved languidly at Nibert.
“I know who it is... I’ll go deal with him in a bit.”
Nibert gave me a strange look, then nodded hesitantly.
“O-Okay. In that case, I’ll go help my brother out. You better hurry, though!”
I stood up and dragged my feet out the door. I really didn’t want to talk to him.
As I reached the southern gate, I found my werewolves already gathered around it. With a heavy heart, I stepped forward. As I drew close, I heard a familiar voice say, “Is a mouthful still a mouthful for you even after you’ve transformed into a werewolf? In that case, would it not be to your benefit to transform every time you try a mouthful of your friend’s snacks?”
“W-Wait... now that you mention it, that makes sense, doesn’t it?” Garbert responded somewhat hesitantly. A frivolous voice answered him.
“A splendid answer, my boy! Wait, are you perchance older than I am? I suppose in that case you should be the one calling me, your boy.”
“Huh? Why would I do that?”
“I suppose you could call me your girl if you so desired. Though despite appearances, I am a man. Can’t you see how silky smooth my skin is?”
“What skin...”
“Oh heavens, I forgot to shed my second skin. Behold, my unblemished pale beauty!”
“W-Well... you’re definitely pale at least.”
You’re not supposed to take him seriously, guys... I pushed my way through the crowd of werewolves, heading toward where the voice was coming from. I knew it. It’s him. He was wearing a high-class suit, and a broad-brimmed hat adorned with a feather. His gestures and mannerisms were overly flamboyant, but the effect was ruined by the fact that his face was just a skull.
“Oi, Parker.”
The skeleton whirled around with a flourish upon hearing my voice.
“If it isn’t Veight! Hello, my beloved brother!”
“I’m NOT your brother!”
The other werewolves started whispering to each other.
“Wait, that skeleton’s the boss’ brother?”
“They don’t look anything alike...”
“Why’s his brother a skeleton, anyway?”
Do you guys realize how stupid you sound right now?
“We’re not related. This is Parker the Mysterious. He’s another one of Master’s disciples, and a former human necromancer. Technically he’s one of the demon army’s generals.”
Just saying that tired me out. Parker’s jaw clacked loudly as he spoke.
“Indeed! I am Parker, wearer of parkas!”
“Please stop, your puns are terrible.”
Parker hung his head and started drawing circles in the ground with a bony finger.
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit too mean to your gentle older brother?”
“How many times do I have to tell you we’re not related just because we’re fellow disciples!?”
God, this guy’s annoying. What’s he even been up to this whole time? Before I could ask, Parker swiveled his head toward me.
“Oh, are you perhaps suspicious that I’ve been away frolicking while you were hard at work?”
I never understood how he was so good at reading my mind.
“Hahaha, despite appearances I am still one of the third regiment’s loyal vice-commanders! Naturally, I have been working myself to the bone for the prosperity of the demon army. Though I suppose I’m nothing but bone!”
Finally, a chance to shut him up!
“Sorry, but we’ve abandoned the vice-commander system. Right now, you’re just Parker, Gomoviroa’s disciple.”
“Huh?”
Parker fell silent, a confused look on his face. I turned back to the werewolves gathered around us and clapped my hands and said, “Alright everyone, go back to your posts! I’ll take care of this clown!”
That seemed to jolt them back to their senses, and they slowly dispersed. Though they were still clearly confused. God, it’s so hard to hold a proper conversation with Parker... I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him back to my office.
“Under Master’s orders, I traveled to the city of Beluza in the south. It was her wish that I establish an alliance with the mermaids living there.”
Parker poured himself a cup of my green tea without permission as he spoke.
“And were you able to?”
“Not in the least.” Parker guffawed, his bony jaw clacking. “The mermaids are pacifists through and through, you see. And when I told them we’d like to work with them even if they have no intention to fight, they told me they couldn’t travel on land.”
That made sense. They were mermaids, after all.
“So then I told them it would be fine if only half of them came.”
“Half?”
“Indeed, just their upper halves.”
“Please tell me you didn’t actually say that.”
Parker guffawed again, “They nearly drowned me for that one.”
“You’re a skeleton, you can’t drown.”
Master, I really don’t think you should send this guy on diplomatic missions. Parker stared at the steam coming from the tea he’d poured himself and said lightly, “Alas, I must leave the honorable task of cajoling the mermaids to you. Knowing you, you will be attacking Beluza soon in order to strengthen your hold over the south, will you not?”
“I was planning on attempting talks with them before going for the violent option.”
If we could bring them over to our side peacefully, that’d be ideal.
“But seriously, how badly did you make the mermaids hate you if you’re pushing negotiating with them onto me?”
“You wound me! Ah, but I suppose I can no longer be wounded.”
For the love of God, just stop. Incidentally, that particular pun was one I’d heard dozens of times.
“Oh, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I am incapable of feeling pain. Though I digress.”
“Whatever, just go home.”
I waved him away and tried to formulate a plan on how to deal with Beluza, but Parker wasn’t done yet.
“By the way, I heard you defeated the Hero and took revenge for the Demon Lord?”
“You heard wrong. The Demon Lord practically killed the Hero himself, I just happened to land the finishing blow.”
“Oho...”
Oh great, he’s about to get started on one of his rants again, isn’t he? If he makes fun of the Demon Lord I’m seriously going to punch his lights out. However, Parker took off his hat, pressed it against his breast, and bowed low.
“You have my gratitude, Veight. You truly are the pride of Gomoviroa’s students.”
“Huh?”
“I, too, was fond of the late Demon Lord. There was something truly soothing about spending time with him. He was not only a powerful demon, but a visionary. There exist precious few like him.”
It felt like it had been ages since I’d last heard Parker’s serious voice. He scratched his skull awkwardly and muttered, “How unfortunate that I no longer possess the ability to cry.”
“Parker...”
Parker scrunched up his cap and looked solemnly at the ground. After a few moments of silence, he looked up at me and said, “I’m proud to have a younger brother as outstanding as you.”
The fact that he didn’t come at me with another pun proved how deeply he was grieving. I walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.
“You’re not my brother, but you are a good teacher.”
After another minute of quiet reflection, Parker donned his hat.
“Well, I can’t stay down in the dumps forever. If ev
en I’m depressed, the whole army’s morale will drop. After all, it is a jester’s duty to entertain his guests even when he himself is crying tears of sorrow.”
“Except you’re annoying, not entertaining. Besides, didn’t you just say you can’t cry?”
“Hahaha, well played.”
What do you mean, well played? Parker headed for the door and said in his usual cheery voice, “If you plan on visiting Beluza, allow me to accompany you. I can, at the very least, be your guide.”
“You kind of stand out too much for a covert visit.”
“Oh, you mean this outfit of mine? Never fear, I have prepared quite the fashionable disguise.”
“I’m talking about your face, you buffoon!”
How the hell am I going to negotiate if I’m bringing a walking skeleton with me? The moment I said that, Parker’s skull-face vanished, only to be replaced by the visage of a handsome man. It took me a few seconds to register the transformation. While I was still blinking away the surprise, Parker said in a frivolous voice, “Impressive, is it not? I have been studying illusion magic as of late. While I cannot yet replicate the sensation and warmth of a human face, I can at least perfectly recreate the look.”
“Of all the faces out there, why’d you pick that one?”
“This was the face I possessed when I yet walked the mortal plane. Considering how much time has passed since my death I suppose I should look much older, but alas, I lack the skill to create an elderly face.”
Had he really looked so handsome during his lifetime? Even though he was such a joker?
“What do you think? Among Master’s disciples, surely there are none as proficient in the illusory arts as I? Perhaps I should stop studying necromancy and become a master of illusions instead.”
Oh yeah, this guy doesn’t know about Lacy yet.
“Master’s newest disciple is actually a master illusionist. She was able to raise fake walls around Ryunheit so realistic you could touch them.”
“Do... Do you speak truly?”
Finally, I’d managed to surprise him. Though the fact that he was able to replicate even expressions was rather impressive. Parker folded his arms and dispelled his illusion.
“A-At any rate... now that you’ve seen my illusion, surely you have no objections to my accompanying you?”
Honestly, I had a hard time refusing Parker anything.
“Well, I guess it’s not like you have any other jobs to be doing. Fine, you can come.”
“Hahaha, I knew I could count on you, brother.”
“Seriously, give the whole brother thing a rest! And don’t you dare butt into my negotiations. If you mess things up I’ll dump you into the sea!”
“Understood. You can put your faith in me. Literally, my body’s hollow.”
“Oh, shut up.”
While he acted like an empty-headed clown, Parker was actually quite reliable. In fact, I’d relied on him more than once in the past. He was one of Gomoviroa’s best pupils, and a master of necromancy. Which was why his usual frivolous attitude pissed me off so much. Damn worthless older brother.
Before heading out, I collected as much information on Beluza as I could. I also gathered all the materials and people I felt I’d need for this mission. As a result, a certain merchant ended up joining the delegation as well.
“I expected you would call for me soon,” Mao grumbled as he packed his bags. “You understand that I buy my salt from Lotz and not Beluza, correct?”
“But you still sell salt to Beluza, don’t you?”
Sighing, Mao replied, “I suppose that’s true. Beluza’s viceroy is a loyal customer of mine.”
I’d put Mao’s trading company in charge of procuring all the supplies we’d need for this trip, making my job a lot easier. It also gave us the perfect cover story. We could meet Beluza’s viceroy under the guise of salt traders. Mao glared at me as he folded a set of robes.
“Is there a problem?”
“I will take full responsibility for seeing you to Beluza, but in return I expect you to pay for our travel expenses.”
“Don’t worry. I plan on paying you and everyone else I’m bringing along for your troubles. And as a bonus, we’ll guard your caravan along the way.”
There was nothing more reliable than a team of werewolf bodyguards. Next to Mao, the former fake Holy Priestess Lacy fidgeted uncomfortably.
“Umm, do I have to come too?”
“Yeah, we’ll be needing your illusion magic, Lacy. I’d prefer it if you could come.”
Lacy’s illusions were detailed enough that she could easily fool anyone who wasn’t a mage. If things turned sour, we’d need her help to flee the city. Even if they didn’t, she might come in handy if I needed to intimidate the viceroy. Besides, she was a former government official. The very fact that we’d recruited a former Senate aide to our side would be a powerful negotiating tool. However, she was still a novice when it came to negotiating.
“Listen up, don’t try anything crazy, okay? And while we’re negotiating don’t say anything unless I give you permission.”
“O-Okay.” Lacy nodded vigorously. “I don’t really trust myself anyway, so I’ll just do whatever you say, Veight! I’ll be quiet, too!”
“Good. Don’t worry, if anything happens, I’ll protect you.”
“Thank you!”
Her skills as a mage were top-notch, but I wish she’d be more confident in herself. All that was left now was to deal with that self-proclaimed brother of mine.
“This is rock salt, you say? Why would anyone sell salt to a city that specializes in producing it? Oho, so rock salt tastes different from sea salt? Let me have a taste.”
“Mister Parker, you can still taste things?”
“Of course not, I have no tongue after all! Hahahaha!”
God, he’s so annoying. Since none of these members would be any use in a fight, I’d also picked two werewolf squads to accompany me on the journey. Among them were the Garney brothers and Monza. I’d picked the Garneys because they were plenty strong even in their human forms. Meaning they’d be a valuable asset even in places where transforming wouldn’t be advisable. Monza, on the other hand, was the best spy I had. With her around, I didn’t have to worry about being snuck up on by assassins, or tailed without my knowledge.
“Hey, bro, I heard Beluza’s in this place called the sea.”
“That’s right. The sea’s like a huuuuge lake, except it’s also salty.”
“Wow, you know everything!”
“That’s not all. The sea’s also got these huge waves, and they always crash into the city.”
“Whoa, that sounds scary. Does that mean Beluza’s underwater?”
“Nah, there’s no way a city could... Hey, Veight, Beluza’s not underwater, is it!?”
No, you idiots. The water pulls back after the waves hit land. Honestly, I’d wanted to bring along a few more demons skilled in negotiation, but the few of those we had were busy managing other cities.
“Leave negotiations to me! I’ll have you know I have quite the eloquent tongue. Though I suppose I no longer have a tongue!” Parker tried to clap me on the shoulder, but I grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him over to a nearby box. “Oh my, what is the meaning of this, brother of mine?”
“I figured we’d be able to fit you in a box if we take you apart. You’ll be more portable that way.”
“How could you ever think of turning your precious older brother into a shut-in(to a box)!?”
“It’s because I want to make you mine and mine alone. Anyway, someone get me a hammer and some nails.”
I wasn’t really planning on shutting him into a box, but it’d be nice to have the threat available if necessary. Parker slumped into the box and looked despondently up at me.
“You’ve become a lot meaner since you first became Master’s disciple...”
“And whose fault do you think that is!?”
Once our preparations were complete, our caravan set
out for Beluza. For this trip, we’d be taking horses instead of a carriage. The road was patrolled and maintained, so I didn’t expect any trouble.
“Our ancestors made Beluza their base of operations when they first arrived in this continent and began expanding to the north. As you can see, there were few areas nearby suitable for growing crops,” Mao explained as he bounced up and down on his horse. “As they traveled further north, they built cities on the plains to serve as relay points between the explorers and Beluza. One such relay point was Ryunheit.”
Airia had told me the same thing. However, this was a good opportunity to hear Mao’s take on the current state of Beluza.
“So Ryunheit and Beluza are like sister cities, then?”
“They are. As we share common ancestors, the cultures and values of both cities are quite similar. Though the distance between us has weakened our relationship somewhat...”
Still, that was good news for me. It’d make negotiating easier. Since we were already on the subject, I decided to ask Mao about the north as well.
“So if the people of the south immigrated from across the sea, where’d the northerners come from?”
I’d asked Airia the same question, but she hadn’t known. However Mao had spent a lot of time trading in the north, so perhaps he’d heard some stories. Mao frowned and said, “To be honest with you... I’m not sure.”
“But you trade with the north a lot, don’t you? Haven’t you heard any origin stories from the people you do business with?”
“I have, but the thing is everyone’s told me a different story.”
Mao shrugged his shoulders. “One trader told me that they were natives to this land while another said that they’d traveled across the mountains in the north, fleeing a crumbling empire. Yet another told me they had gathered here because God had told them it was the promised land.”
Those were wildly differing accounts, alright. There was no way to know which one was true, or if there was a kernel of truth hidden in all of them. Either way, it was clear their ancestors weren’t the same as the people of the south’s.
I was starting to see why there was so much discord between the two sides. It wasn’t just about grievances of the past, both people had differing experiences and cultural values. I nodded to Mao with a sigh, and he asked, “Now do you see just how tenuous the existence of the Meraldian Federation is?”