by Lindy Zart
“Have fun. Be sure to dance.”
The middle-aged woman chuckled, her gray eyes shining. “I might, if they play a song I like.”
“In that case, you might have to request something,” Beth told her, waving as Sally turned to meet her friends.
Finding a lull in drink orders, Beth went about restocking condiments and relishes.
“Do you want me to beat him up? Or her. I’m not picky.”
Beth glanced at the pair as she cut up lemons and refilled the container of them. Ozzy had his hands all over Kelly, his front pressed to hers, a corner of his mouth hitched in that dazzling way of his. His expression said that Kelly was special, and that for the moment, he adored her. Not even a sliver of space was between the couple.
“It’s okay,” she told her friend. “It doesn’t bother me.”
Ozzy shifted his attention to the bar, and Beth. Everything about him oozed vengeance.
She looked away.
Jennifer’s jaw shifted to the side as she stared at the pair, the scent of menace strong on her. “Well, it should. He only came in here because he knew you were working, and he’s trying to hurt you. What a dick move to pull on someone you supposedly love, or even used to love. He mopes around in here during the day like you broke his heart, and now look at him. And how stupid is she? She should know what he’s doing. Guys aren’t all that original. If she has even half a brain, she could figure it out.”
“Not if she doesn’t want to,” Beth said quietly, part of her feeling bad for Kelly. Once embedded in the heart, it was hard to remove Ozzy from it.
“God, this town pisses me off. Bunch of hillbilly fucks,” Jennifer muttered, swiping bangs from her eyes.
Beth smiled, unable to take offense. Besides, she knew Jennifer didn’t consider her part of the community, even though she’d lived in Crystal Lake her whole life. Jennifer told her once it was because she didn’t act inbred like the majority of the town.
“He’s acting like this because he knows we’re done. For good. It’s his form of retaliation,” Beth explained, grabbing a dishcloth and wiping wet spots from the counter.
“Childish prick.”
Beth laughed and patted Jennifer’s tense forearm with her free hand. “You’re a good friend, and I appreciate your support. I can handle him.”
Jennifer turned narrowed eyes on Beth. “You shouldn’t have to.”
She shrugged and slung the damp dishcloth over her shoulder. The water held within the rag seeped through her shirt and onto her skin. “Lots of people deal with things they shouldn’t have to.” Her thoughts turned to Harrison and Beth’s skin prickled.
“Incoming,” Jennifer warned, setting herself in front of Beth and blocking her from Ozzy.
“I got this.” She placed a hand on her arm. “It’s okay. Really.”
With a scowl twisting her features, Jennifer stepped to the side. “If you need me, I’ll be right over here.” She pointed to the other end of the cramped bar and marched in that direction.
“Hi, Beth.” Ozzy’s eyes glittered with golden intensity.
“Did you need something, Ozzy?” Beth made sure to keep her gaze averted.
“Just wanted to say hi.”
“You said it,” she said, finally looking at him.
Ozzy tapped his long fingers on the countertop, looking down and up. His eyebrows lowered, giving him a contrite appearance. “Listen, Kelly and I—”
“I don’t need to know. Whatever you do is none of my business, just like whatever I do is none of yours.” It was a reminder to him, and Beth knew he caught it when his mouth fell into a thin line. “If you don’t need anything, I have other people to wait on.”
She moved to turn away, but his hand clamped around her wrist, halting her. “You’re wearing the shirt I got you for Christmas last year.”
Beth glanced down at the emerald green top with silver thread along the collar, jerking back her wrist to try to get it out of his grasp. Ozzy held it a beat, letting her know he was only releasing her because he decided to. Beth swallowed, something like fear clenching her stomach. She told herself that wasn’t it, and that it was silly to be scared of Ozzy.
But when Beth looked into his eyes, she didn’t see Ozzy. She saw a man, and a reminder, and someone who could hurt when he chose.
“It wasn’t on purpose.”
“Maybe not consciously.” He smiled, but there was nothing beautiful about it.
“Not even subconsciously.”
“Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself.”
Beth studied his features, seeing hardness in the lines and hollows she didn’t remember being there. His lips hinted at cruelty, and his eyes gleamed with hostile fire. With shallow breaths and a chaotic pulse, she moved down the bar, away from Ozzy. He watched her with a clenched jaw and fire in his eyes. He didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t take his eyes off her for a good, long while.
By midnight, a large portion of the patrons were intoxicated; others were headed in that direction. From what she’d seen, Ozzy was close to there as well. Before his mom showed up, he’d walked around the bar and restocked drinks for him and Kelly more times than Beth could keep track of. She was careful to stay out of his way after the first time he purposely slid his front across her back. After Deb got there, he stayed on the other side of the bar.
The music volume stayed the same, but the voices got louder. The once empty area in front of the DJ was full of dancing bodies. There were lines of people around the counter and more waiting behind them. Alcohol made people act how they normally wouldn’t, and seeing it in motion as often as she did with bartending, Beth didn’t drink much. If something could alter her actions and thoughts like that, she wanted to stay away from it.
Deb, Ozzy’s mom and co-owner of the bar, pulled Beth aside and pointed to where Ozzy and Kelly were making out on the dance floor. “What is going on with my son and Kelly Burbach?”
Beth appreciated how Dan and Deb looked at both sides of every story, and didn’t pass judgment. They didn’t blame her for her and Ozzy’s breakup, but they did let her know they were saddened by it. They didn’t try to make her feel bad about choosing to move on from Ozzy, and she respected them for it. But they also couldn’t accept that she was no longer a part of his life.
She looked at the short and wiry woman whose eyes Ozzy inherited. “I think they’re dating, but I don’t know. They showed up together.”
Her sharp features hardened as she watched her son. “I always hope he’ll decide to grow up and make good decisions, but I don’t see that day coming all that soon.” Deb turned to Beth. “Kelly Burbach is a tramp. She’s fooled around with just about every guy in this town within five years of her age.”
Beth blinked. “Oh?”
Deb gave her a look. “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“Well, I…” she trailed off, shrugging. “Too often people in this town talk about things that don’t directly involve them.” Like Ozzy’s gaggle of friends and family who kept tabs on her for him. As far as she knew, his parents were not part of that group.
“Hmm,” was all Deb said before turning to yell at a customer who loudly remarked that she wasn’t moving fast enough with his beer.
The lights flipped on full force at closing time, signaling the end of the night. With a few protests, the remaining people trickled out the door, some of them stumbling and needing help to get there. Deb, Jennifer, and Beth worked to get the place in order before taking off. Beth was aware of Ozzy sitting at a table across the room and the way he watched her with dark, hooded eyes. Kelly was nowhere in sight.
“I don’t know how you aren’t creeped out by him, because I am, and he’s not even staring at me,” Jennifer said as they washed up and dried the last of the bar glasses.
“He’s drunk. I’m sure he’s just waiting for his mom to give him a ride home.” She outwardly brushed off Jennifer’s concern even as apprehension pulsed through her.
“We l
eave together.” Jennifer held her gaze until Beth nodded.
Ozzy staggered to his feet as Beth and Jennifer approached the front door, reaching out a hand and ensnaring Beth by the arm when they passed him. “Hey. I want to talk to you,” he said in slow fragments. He smelled like beer and swayed on his feet, his eyes half closed and out of focus.
“Not now, Ozzy.” Beth pushed at his hand, and it slid away. Her anxiety grew. A drunken Ozzy was one to avoid.
“You don’t need to touch her to talk to her,” Jennifer informed him, moving closer to Beth.
Lifting his head like it weighed a hundred pounds, Ozzy fought to keep Jennifer in his line of vision. “You.” He pointed a finger at her. She slapped it down. “You stay out of it. This is between me, and Beth.”
“Go home, Ozzy. You’re drunk.” Beth took the sleeve of Jennifer’s brown jacket. “Ready?” she asked her friend, tightening her grip on the fabric like Jennifer was the kite that would take her away from the ground and Ozzy.
“Yeah. I’m ready. Pizza, followed by ten hours of sleep, is calling my name.”
“Beth, don’t walk away from me,” Ozzy yelled after her, sounding broken. “Beth!”
“Ignore him.” Jennifer steered Beth forward when she faltered. “He knows how to weaken your resolve, and all he has to do is act helpless.”
“I feel bad for him,” she whispered.
“I know that, and so does he.”
“Beth, I need you. Please talk to me. I’m sorry, all right? I’m sorry for everything.”
Beth’s footsteps were leaden, making it harder to step from him. He was hurting, and it scratched at her heart. She briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath, continuing forward. He wasn’t hers to worry over anymore. Beth needed to worry about herself, and what she needed. And it wasn’t Ozzy Peck.
The sound of something heavy falling to the floor hit Beth’s ears, and she whirled around, ignoring Jennifer’s words to keep moving. Ozzy knelt on the floor, his head lowered with his arms wrapped around it. His shoulders shook, and at first she thought he was crying, but it soon became apparent he was laughing. Beth stayed where she was.
“Sweet little Beth Lambert. Predictable Beth,” he said in a shaky voice. “I never thought you’d be the one to end it. Since when does Beth Lambert have a backbone? Fuck my life.” Ozzy laughed louder and flipped to his back, his eyes trained on the ceiling.
Heat bloomed in her cheeks, and Beth gritted her teeth. That was her, easily and wrongly pegged by everyone who thought they knew her.
“He is loco,” Jennifer muttered. “Can we go now?”
“Yes,” she hissed. “Let’s go.”
“What the hell is going on out here?” Deb demanded, jogging from the back office.
“Ozzy fell.” Beth met Deb’s gaze as she made her way to her son. “He needs a ride home.”
With a frown twisting her mouth, Deb hunkered down by Ozzy, placing an arm around his shoulders as she looked at Beth. “Go home, Beth. I’ll take care of my son.”
Rooted in place with shock by the blame she saw in Deb’s eyes, it took a moment for Beth’s feet to work. She numbly followed Jennifer from the bar, Ozzy’s laughter following them. Parents always choose their kids over others, her mother once told her. She’d meant it to be encouraging, but it seemed like a barbed torch to Beth. Turned the wrong way and it burned, turned another and it stabbed.
What if the child did something unforgivable to someone else? What then?
Beth blinked and walked into a dark, chilly night.
EIGHT
BETH KNEW SHE must be wearing remnants of the weekend when she stepped into the reading room Monday afternoon and the first words out of Harrison’s mouth were, “You look awful. I take it you had an inspiring weekend.”
He stood near the windows as he so often did, reminding her of a self-caged bird. Without replying, she studied the dark coloring beneath his eyes, wondering at the strict line of his mouth. He held himself stiffly, and Beth searched his expression for an answer to his behavior last week. Harrison looked worse than her, worse than the last time she’d seen him. It wasn’t anything startlingly obvious, but something was off.
“That good, huh?” he continued, his eyes trained on hers.
She could already tell the two of them were different from last week. While she was researching and thinking and coming to a decision, maybe he was doing the same. Beth was more emboldened, and he seemed more open, watching her in a way he hadn’t previously allowed himself. There was a deeper hitch to his mouth, a stronger light in his eyes. She lifted her chin, refusing to look away when their gazes collided.
“My ex-boyfriend doesn’t understand what the ‘ex’ part means,” was the only answer she supplied. “And you?”
Harrison’s mouth twisted and he replied dryly, “My parents decided an impromptu visit was in order.”
“Your parents were here?” Beth’s frown flipped into a faint smile. She’d been worried for nothing. Harrison had been in good hands, although from the way he was acting, it hadn’t been an enjoyable experience for him. “That’s great. I didn’t think you saw them much.”
“I don’t.”
“Oh.” Beth trained her gaze on the melting snow outside the window. Her parents were everything, and without them, she’d be lost. They were the rocks that would shatter her free when she was locked inside a glass-built room of her own insecurities. “Why don’t you?”
“They don’t treat me the same as they used to, and it bothers me. I’m an invalid in their minds.”
She nodded, her fingers tightening on the manuscript she carried. Beth looked at Harrison. “I understand.”
Harrison tilted his head. “Do you?”
Beth swallowed. “I think so.”
“I’m not sure you can.”
In the silence that trailed his words, she shifted her feet and moved the stack of papers from under one arm to the other.
“What’s that?” His eyes flicked down.
Feeling self-conscious and second guessing the great idea that came upon her yesterday, Beth felt her face go red. “Oh. Well. This…” She paused as his dark eyes drilled into hers in that impatient way of his. “This is the first story I wrote. You wanted me to read a book to get to know you. I thought maybe you’d be interested in reading something of mine to get to know me. Keep in mind, it isn’t any good,” Beth added when his expression went blank.
“Why would I want to get to know you?” he asked quietly, without malice.
“Maybe you don’t. But if you do.” Beth set down the papers on the couch and crossed her arms in the fire of Harrison’s gaze. A glint of humor shone in the depths, made her senses spring to attention.
When Beth was with Ozzy, she felt weaker. Meek. Unsure of herself and what she wanted. In Harrison’s presence, it was the opposite. He expected strength from her, and that made her want to be strong. His attention on her was heavy with the unknown. What was he thinking? What was he feeling? Was it anything like what she was? Each time she looked away, something brought her eyes back to him. Beth stopped fighting it and unabashedly watched him.
“I have questions for you.” When a single eyebrow quirked, she continued. “For the book.” Beth inhaled. “It’s not bad out today—the snow is melting, and the temperature is in the forties. The sun is shining. Would you be okay with going for a walk and talking?”
His shoulders relaxed, and after a short pause, he nodded. “Yes. I’m okay with that.”
“Oh. Okay. Good.”
“You sound surprised.”
She gathered up her hair and swept it over one shoulder, her fingers needing a task. “I always think you’re going to tell me no.”
His eyes watched the gesture, seemed intrigued by it. “Yet you ask anyway.”
Beth looked away from his piercing eyes, feeling a smile curve her lips. “Yes. I do.”
They didn’t speak as they put on their coats and boots. Harrison’s stocking cap fell from the po
cket of his jacket and Beth reached down to retrieve it before he could. He outstretched a hand for it, and she tugged it down over his head, leaving a wave of reddish-blond hair visible on his forehead. Beth pushed the locks back from his face, her fingers tingling from the contact. His cheek muscles flexed as his eyes bored into hers. The shared look spiraled through her, bringing fire through her frame.
She waited for him to reprimand her for touching him, but he only turned toward the door and stepped outside. Beth let out a deep breath and caught up to him near the side of the house. A smile, small and triumphant, claimed her face. That was huge—that he let her touch him and that he didn’t say anything about it.
Snow melted and dripped from the roof to form piles of slush on the ground. The sun reflected off the white pathway, blinding and dazzling. Harrison took them on a manmade trail through the snow that led behind the house and in the opposite direction of the hill they’d ascended the previous week. Beth hopped over a puddle of melted snow and landed in Harrison’s path. He paused, his head cocked, and then stepped around her.
“I have the beginning of your story ready for you to read,” Beth said after a moment of arguing with herself over whether or not she should say anything about it.
A slash of dark brown eyes cut open her senses before moving away.
Fighting the beat of her hyper pulse, she went on to say, “It’s all of ten pages, but it’s a start. It’s in my vehicle. I’ll get it when we go back.”
Harrison didn’t respond.
“Aren’t you at all curious about what I wrote?”
His shoulders lifted and lowered.
“What if it’s completely inaccurate, or…” Beth’s eyes narrowed, and she felt the curve of a wicked grin take over her mouth. “What if I call you Butt-monkey in it?”
Harrison stumbled to a stop, his eyebrows shooting straight up as he looked at her. “Butt-monkey?”
Beth laughed, nodding vehemently. “Yes. Butt-monkey.”
“What the hell is a butt-monkey?”
Head cocked, she squinted her eyes and tapped an index finger to her chin as she pretended to think about it. Beth dropped her hand and met Harrison’s bemused gaze. “I guess it’s someone irritating, like you.”