“Because I want you to love me, not my career.”
She jerked her head back. “Who said I love anything about you, Tamel Curd?”
“Jess.” Pain flicked across his face. “Stop.”
She looked away, stricken. Why on earth did she want him to kiss her again? She wanted just as much to smack him. Send him reeling across the room.
“Tamel.” She fought to keep her voice from trembling. “You purposely let me think you plan to stay here and run a funeral parlor the rest of your life. You let me think we have no future.” Tears bit her eyes. She tried to blink them back.
“I wanted t—”
“Fine! You think I was cryin’? Maybe I was. And maybe it was about you. Happy now?”
“I …” He shook his head.
“Oh, for once you have nothin’ to say.” Jess pressed her lips together. “Why did you hurt me like that? Why didn’t you just talk to me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be.” A tear fell onto her cheek. She whisked it away.
Tamel caught one of her hands again. “Can we just … let’s sit down.”
She shrugged. Let him lead her to the foot of the bed. They sat.
Jess crossed her arms and glared at the carpet.
“Listen to me.” Tamel clasped his hands in his lap, clearly struggling for words. “I thought you were lookin’ down on me because I’m not workin’ as an attorney right now. I wanted you to see I’m still me. I’m the guy you grew up with. The one who’s always been your friend and there for you. Who got to take you to the prom our junior year—most wonderful day of my life. The guy who’s loved you since ninth grade.”
Ninth grade? Jess’s eyes widened, but she kept her gaze on the floor.
“The romantic part of me wanted to hear you say you’d be with me wherever I was. Whatever I did. That you cared for me no matter what.”
Jess closed her eyes and felt another tear fall. It plopped on her shorts. She waited for Tamel to say more, but he fell silent.
“That wasn’t fair.” She rubbed at the tear stain with her knuckles. “Because you’re talkin’ two different things. You say you’d be the same person, no matter your job. Yes, you would. And you’re a wonderful person. But I have a life I’ve struggled to achieve. I just couldn’t imagine livin’ in this small town forever—even if I did grow up here. I love bein’ in a big city. Love the energy and flow of it.” The rest poured out of her, no holding it back. Oh, would she regret it. “I always thought one day you’d be in the same city with me. Even though we’d never said it. Even though we’d danced around it—I knew. And I knew you did, too.”
She dared a glance at him. He was gazing at her with wonder. Jess pulled in her top lip. Focused again on her lap.
“So then—suddenly—you change everything. You decide to move here, without tellin’ me first. Then you decide to stay here—as far as I can see. Also without any discussion. And you’ve still never really said anything about carin’ for me. So what am I left to think? That clearly I was wrong. That you don’t care what I feel at all—” Her voice squeezed off. Oh, good grief, why couldn’t she just hold it together? She cinched her eyes shut.
“Jess.” Tamel put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She didn’t resist. “I’ve done nothin’ but care about you for years.”
That did it. More tears came. Jess hiccupped and pressed a fist to her mouth. Tamel let her sniffle, rubbing the side of her head. His touch was so gentle it made her cry all the harder. Drat it all.
Finally she took a deep, shuddering breath. Wiped her face and sat up. She winced. “Oh, my head hurts.”
“Happens when you’re in the presence of greatness.”
Jess threw him a weary look. He tipped his head in an apology.
Next thing she knew, he was kissing her again. How did that even happen? She told herself to pull back, but not a single muscle listened. The kiss was long and slow, and the best thing she ever tasted in her life. When they finally parted Jess felt utterly spent.
Self-consciousness bloomed inside her. What were they supposed to do now? She focused across the room, lacing and unlacing her fingers. This would totally complicate everything. How could she focus on her career with Tamel on her mind? She wasn’t supposed to have a man in her life.
Plus, no way was she giving her sisters the satisfaction of seeing her smitten.
“Jess.”
“Hmm.”
“Wanna tell me somethin’?”
She only had a million thoughts on her mind. “What?”
“You know.”
Her fingers stilled. Fear wound up her spine. Maybe this was all wrong. She should just get up and walk away, end it before it got any further.
Tamel put his fingers beneath her chin and turned her face toward his. “Go on. Say it.”
She lowered her gaze, feeling the heat of his touch.
“It won’t kill you, you know.”
It just might.
“Do I have to kiss you again?”
“Oh, like that’s a real chore?”
“Well, you didn’t make the first one exactly easy.”
She smiled in spite of herself.
Tamel smiled back. His dimples creased—so cute. She could look at them all day. And suddenly she realized how much she’d missed them in Memphis. Jess found herself gazing down the tracks of her life—a life without this man who’d been there since childhood—and they faded into a horizon cold and empty.
She needed her career. She needed Tamel.
The words bubbled up inside Jess, spilled out of her mouth. “I love you, Tamel Curd.”
She blinked, surprised at herself. The words hung between them. Part of her wanted to bat them away.
Tamel grinned and wagged his head. “See there. Told ya.”
She flexed her shoulders. “Aren’t you the smart aleck.”
“Yup. And you don’t know as much as you think you do.”
Jess blew out air. “You are totally exasperatin’.”
“Not half as bad as you.”
“Oh, really.”
“Shut up, Jess.”
He pulled her close and kissed her again.
CHAPTER 21
Ruth paced the kitchen, tapping a thumb against her chin. What was going on up there? Tamel had been with Jess for some time now.
At least she wasn’t hearing any yelling. Or furniture being thrown.
“They’ll be fine, Mom, relax.” Sarah sat at the table, an afternoon latte before her. She held Penny, who’d apparently had enough of being in the play room with the kids. “Won’t they, Lady P.” The Yorkie gave her a look as if to say there was no predicting this crazy family. Sarah scratched behind her ears, and Penny stuck her nose forward, basking in her touch.
Maddy was in the laundry room, rescuing Alex’s clean clothes from the dryer. Time to get her daughter dressed again. Although the little girl had taken a shine to her cousin’s pink nightgown and announced she wanted to wear it all day. “Ain’t happenin’, chil’,” Maddy had told her. “You need to wear real clothes.”
And where was Ben? The men should be home any minute now. Christina still hid in her room. Twice Ruth had started to go knock on her door, and twice her daughters had stopped her.
“Ben will be here soon, Mom.” Sarah always could read Ruth’s thoughts. “You called him home early from his game, isn’t that enough?”
None of them had ever interfered with the men’s golf before.
“I know, I know, but I need to do somethin’.” Other than just praying, which she’d been at fervently since phoning Ben and Tamel.
“So go take care of the lobsters.”
“Uh-uh. I’m leavin’ ’em for Sy. I have no idea what to do. We throw them in our garbage, they’ll stink to high heaven. It’s not picked up for another two days.”
“Maybe we should have a buryin’ party.”
“Jess would love that.”
Maddy was coming down the
hall, carrying Alex’s clothes. “All right, let’s get you dressed.” She stepped into the play room.
“Jess is gonna come down here glowin’ and holdin’ hands with Tamel, you’ll see,” Sarah said. “She won’t care a whit about those lobsters anymore.”
“You think so?”
“I know Jess better than she knows herself. She can’t fool me.”
Ruth kept pacing. Maddy entered the kitchen, holding Lacey’s nightgown. She put it on the table before Sarah. “Here you go.”
“What, you want me to wear it now?”
“You’ll look great.”
Ruth shook her head. How could they tease at a time like this?
“Did you check in on our lobster friends?” Sarah asked.
Maddy waved her hand. “I purposely did not even look. But I heard ’em. They’re dyin’ a slow death in there.”
Lady Penelope jumped daintily off Sarah’s lap and headed for her water bowl. Tiny lap-laps sounded across the tile.
“We should get the kids out of that play room.” Sarah took a drink of her latte. “Send ’em outside to run around.”
“It’s too hot.” Maddy sat down.
“The men are out there.”
“The men are crazy.”
Ruth heard the distant grind of the garage door. “They’re here!”
“Good.” Sarah exchanged a look with her sister. “Now maybe she’ll relax.”
“You talkin’ about our mother?”
Ruth hurried down the hall and into the garage to greet the men. They pushed out of the car, tired and sweaty. Ben looked beside himself. She couldn’t tell if he was mad or frustrated, or both. “She still in her room?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He headed toward the kitchen, on a mission.
Sy’s handsome face was red from the sun. “Sounds like you got some girl drama goin’ on, Ruthie.” With three daughters, he’d seen his share of drama over the years.
“More than some.” She spilled out the details. Jake and Don listened in. Didn’t take long before all three of them were laughing.
“Would you stop?” Ruth pressed her palms to her face. “This isn’t funny.”
The men tried their best to untwist their mouths. Didn’t work very well.
“You wouldn’t be laughin’ if you were in Ben’s shoes. He’s got a lot to straighten out.”
“Boy.” Jake pushed up his glasses. “I sure am glad those crazy early relationship days are behind me and Sarah. Near wore me out. It’s much easier bein’ an old married man.”
Sy snorted. “If you’re old, what does that make me?”
“Ancient.” Jake opened the trunk of the car.
“So where are these lobsters now?” Sy lifted out his golf clubs.
“Still in the sink. You have to get rid of ’em somehow.”
“Why don’t we eat ’em?”
“They’re full of soap!”
Sy shrugged. “They’ll be good and clean.” Jake and Don laughed.
Oh, honestly.
Sy stowed his golf clubs in the back corner of the garage. “Okay, lady of mine, let’s take a look at that sink full of dyin’ critters.”
“I got to see this, too.” Don set down his clubs and headed for the washing machine. Jake followed.
“You comin’?” Sy turned to Ruth.
“I’ve seen enough of ’em. Just … do somethin’ about it, okay?”
Her husband saluted. “Syton Dearing to the rescue, ma’am.” He headed off behind his sons-in-law.
“And don’t go teasin’ Jess when you see her!” Ruth called after them. “She’s been through enough. Don’t tease her about Tamel, either.”
“That’s a lot to ask.” Jake snickered to Don.
“Way too much.” They disappeared into the laundry room.
Ruth stood in the garage, bouncing a fist against her hip. What more could she do now?
She lowered her head and stared at the concrete floor. Dear Lord, please get my family through the rest of this day.
CHAPTER 22
Christina heard a knock on her bedroom door. Her nerves spritzed. How many times did she have to say she didn’t want to talk to anyone?
“Christina, it’s Ben.”
Ben! She checked her watch. He shouldn’t be back for at least another hour.
“Let me in.”
She had to look a sight. All that crying and makeup smeared. She jumped from the bed and checked herself in the mirror. Ran both hands through her hair.
With a deep breath, she opened the door.
Ben looked down at her, worry creasing his forehead. He was sunburned and sweaty, and she couldn’t read his expression.
He was probably really ticked at her.
He came into the room and closed the door. Kept gazing at her, as if she might melt through the floor any minute.
“What happened?”
“Why are you back so early?”
“Mom called me. What happened?”
Tears pricked Christina’s eyes. She turned away. “Everything.”
Ben took her hand. Sat her down on the gold-padded bench against the wall. He settled beside her. “Tell me.”
Where to begin? She’d alienated everyone in the family, starting with the dog. She’d ruined a very expensive meal. She’d argued with Jess—when Jess was trying to apologize. There was no going back on any of it now.
“You can’t fix this, Ben. I know you think you can fix everything, but …” She raised a hand.
He was silent for a moment. “You’re right. You’re gonna have to do some of it.”
“I can’t.”
“Sure you can. I’ll be there beside you.”
Christina shook her head. She didn’t know how to even face the family again, much less make things right. “I’ve done everything wrong. They don’t like me.”
“That’s not true. It’s all in your head.”
She pictured Jess’s face as they argued, the rigidness of her body. Her cutting tone. “Jess does not like me.”
Ben sighed. “First you have to tell me what happened.”
“Didn’t your mom tell you anything?”
“I want to hear it from you.”
Oh. So they had been talking about her.
Then what was the point of going over it again? She didn’t want to hear the words from her own mouth. They would all sound so silly.
“Come on, Christina.”
She heaved a sigh.
Head down, she told him. Everything. By the time she was done her mouth was dry. And she felt more stupid than ever. How had she let all that happen? She should have just stood up to bratty Alex.
“I’m so sorry.” Ben patted her leg. “I never should have left you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is. If I’d been here none of this would have happened.”
Maybe so, but she couldn’t blame him. All of the anger that had popped out of her last night and this afternoon seemed to have drained away. She couldn’t find the tiniest bit left inside her.
Was it gone for good?
Maybe she was just too worn out to feel it.
“Please forgive me for leavin’ you.” Ben put an arm around her. She tensed at his touch. “Last night I promised not to ask too much of you. And I already failed.”
She still couldn’t look at him. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
Ben rubbed her shoulder.
“Okay, then.” His tone lightened. “Let’s get out of this room and join the family.”
Sure.
“Except I need to take a shower first. We’ll have somethin’ else to eat tonight. Everybody will be just fine.”
Christina stared at the carpet. She wasn’t just fine. Couldn’t he see that? “I want you to take me home, Ben.”
He stilled. “I am takin’ you home—on Monday.”
“I want to leave now.”
“What?”
She nodded.
“Why?”
“I’m not takin’ you home.” Ben’s voice firmed. “You can’t run away from this. It would just leave everything hangin’, and you’d have to fix it later.”
“Don’t you get it?” She twisted to face him. “I can’t be a part of your family!”
Ben blinked, shock creasing his face. “What do you mean? Of course you can.”
Christina looked away, closed her eyes. “No. I can’t.”
She could hear him breathing.
Ben took his arm away from her shoulders. “I don’t get it. Why are you doing this?”
She couldn’t reply.
He thumped the side of the bench. “You said you loved me.”
“I do.” Her heart wanted to bend in two.
“And I love you. So … what’s the problem?”
“Sometimes love’s not enough.”
“It’s always enough.”
She rubbed a thumb over her fingers. “Don’t you see? There’s too much difference between you and me. I don’t … I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what, be at a family reunion?”
“Be with you, Ben. Because you’re so much a part of them.”
He gazed at her, incredulous. “You don’t want to be with me?”
“I do, but … it won’t work.”
“So … what then? You tellin’ me you want to break our engagement?”
He had to know that’s what she was saying. That it was over between them. It had to be. Because she would never come between him and his family, not that she’d succeed if she tried. “You know I don’t fit here.”
“Of course you do. Because you fit with me.”
She gave her head a tiny shake.
“Okay, then, Christina, where do you fit?”
She hesitated, then shrugged.
“Come on, that deserves an answer. Where do you fit? Back in your parents’ house?”
Her fingers dug into the bench’s cushion. How could he even say that?
“Or maybe at work, goin’ home each night alone? Where you sit and think about your wretched childhood?”
That Dog Won't Hunt (Dearing Family Series) Page 13