“You wanted to see me?” She grinned from the doorway to my office.
“Yes.” I stood, smoothing down my tie. “Come on in. And close the door, please.”
Her smile widened, and I hated myself for what I was about to do. It had to be done. And though I didn’t like the idea of breaking up with her at the office, it was the only way. At her place or mine, she’d find a way to persuade me otherwise. She’d already been hinting that we could keep this going beyond the summer. Much as I wanted to, I knew we couldn’t continue long term. It would be a disaster. What the hell would I tell Ian?
“Sumner,” I said, debating my words, even though I’d rehearsed this conversation a million times in my head. “This summer has been…amazing.”
She threaded her fingers through mine, peering up at me with the most brilliant smile. She pecked me on the lips, and I tried to savor the taste of her, memorize it.
“But today’s your last day, and we agreed that our arrangement terminates along with your employment.”
“Arrangement?” She jerked her head back. “‘Terminates along with your employment,’” she said, attempting to mimic my voice. “Wow, Jonathan.” She took a few steps back. “Just say it—you’re breaking up with me.”
I had to stand firm. I couldn’t let this continue. So, I closed myself off to her, adopting the mask I often assumed in business—cold, demanding, shrewd. It was for her own good, even if I knew she’d hate me for it. “How can we break up when we were never together?”
She looked at me as if I’d physically slapped her. It certainly felt as if I had. Fuck, this was painful. It was so much worse than I’d expected, and I was almost tempted to tell her it was a mistake. To beg her to stay and promise to tell Ian about us. Almost. But I reminded myself that I was doing this for her own good.
“Never together?”
I studied her expression, watching as she crumpled but then quickly recovered. She concealed her pain with anger, and I hated myself for it. Hated myself for ever making her think she meant nothing to me. That our time together hadn’t been the best six weeks of my life.
“How can you say that?” She pressed her hands to my chest. “You don’t mean that.”
I had to make her believe we were over. Unless I made it absolutely clear that we were done, she would never move on. And she would move on. She’d find someone else, someone more appropriate. My heart squeezed at the image of her with another man, but I quickly pushed it away. This was the only way. Because this would devastate Ian, ruining our friendship and ripping apart their family.
“Thank you for all your hard work and dedication this summer,” I said, adopting a formal tone. “You did a great job, and I’ve written you a glowing recommendation.”
She shook her head and scoffed, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. “I thought being with an older man would equate to maturity. I guess I was wrong.”
She swiped her tears, squaring her shoulders before turning for the door. I wanted to grab her wrist and beg her to stay. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to… There were so many things I wanted to do. But instead, I pushed my wants aside and focused on her. It was time to let her go.
And then she walked out of my office like the goddamn queen she was. She certainly ruled my heart, even if I wouldn’t admit it. What would be the point? We could never be together, and I’d already let things go on long enough.
If I’d thought life before Sumner was tedious, it was absolute hell after her. At my house, at the office, I couldn’t escape the memories of her. And it wasn’t just the sex—it was the conversation, the intimacy, the laughter, and the life she infused into everything. And now, it seemed as if all I did was go to work and workout. Over the past few weeks, my life had become monotonous and tiresome.
Someone knocked on the door to my office, and I glanced up to find Ian standing there, basketball tucked under his arm. He’d been trying to get me to meet up with him for weeks, and I kept putting it off. I was being a chickenshit, but I couldn’t face him.
“Long time, no see,” he said. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me.”
I laughed, standing to greet him. “I’ve been—”
“Yeah. Yeah.” He waved away my words with a grin. “Busy. Right? Then it’s a good thing I made an appointment. See you on the roof in twenty.”
I glanced at my computer, at the emails waiting for me there. I’d avoided him as long as I could. “Sure.”
I finished up some emails and then met him at the executive gym on the roof. We played for a while, and I was happy to let him lead the conversation. He talked about everything except the one thing I really wanted to know—how Sumner was.
I couldn’t get her out of my head. But it wasn’t the quiet moments we’d shared or the feel of her writhing beneath me; it was the haunted look in her eyes when I’d finally ended it. It was the resignation and hatred shining back at me when she realized I was serious this time.
“What’s up with you lately?” Ian tossed me the basketball.
I dribbled, keeping my eyes on the ball, the court, anywhere but him. “A buyer approached me about selling the Wolfe Group, I took on another property with Alexis—”
“Another project? I barely see you as it is.”
“What are you, my wife?” I teased, though when I shot the ball, I missed.
I’d needed to fill my days so I’d be exhausted at night. Too exhausted to think about Sumner or wish she were in my bed. Too busy to consider all the ways I’d fucked up. Fucked her over, was more like it.
God, I wanted to ask about her. I wanted to know if she was as miserable as I was. Or worse still, if she’d moved on. Ian didn’t mention her, and I didn’t ask.
He shoved the ball at me a little harder than necessary. “Wait…rewind a sec. Someone approached you about selling? Are you considering it?”
I lifted a shoulder, watching as he retrieved the ball from my latest shot. “Maybe.”
He stopped dribbling, tucking the ball against his side. “You’re serious?” He shook his head. “You? The man who’s married to your job.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be anymore.”
He shot the ball and sank it in the net. “If you’re burned out, step back. Don’t step down.”
“It’s more than burnout,” I said, jogging across the court to collect the ball.
“You built that company from the ground up. You’re one of the most demanding sons of bitches in the field, but also the most successful. And now… What? You’re just going to let it all go?”
I blew out a breath. “That’s just it. I have been successful. It’s not just about wanting a change. I need a new challenge.” Flipping houses with Alexis had helped, but after Sumner, nothing seemed to hold my interest.
“I thought that was the point of your little side project.” He carried the ball over to the bench and set it down before grabbing some water. “You’re not—” He tilted his head to the side. “You’re not dying, are you?”
“What?” I jerked my head back.
“Well…” He grabbed a towel from his bag and wiped the back of his neck. “I don’t know. People usually want to make huge changes like this when they’ve had a near-death experience or…”
“What? Are diagnosed with cancer?”
“Yeah.”
I blew out a breath. “No. I’m not dying.” Though it felt like it most days, felt as if I were watching life pass me by.
“Okay.” He scrubbed a hand over his head. “I may tease you about having a midlife crisis, but you know if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”
I nodded, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “I know.”
But there was no way I could talk to him about this—ever. He could never know I’d slept with Sumner. And the fact that he was being so supportive only made me feel worse. I was an awful friend. Not only had I slept with his daughter, but I was lying to his face about it.
“Maybe I should sell and mov
e,” I said.
“Move where?”
Far away from Sumner. But I knew it didn’t matter. She was in my blood, stamped in my soul. Even from her first day in the office, I’d known—known she was a part of me.
I could remember it vividly.
The door to my office had swung open, and I’d smiled, expecting to see the same little girl I’d known since she was born. A shy girl with a sweet smile and pigtails. Later, a teen blossoming before my eyes. But in had walked a woman with confidence and curves. A woman who made my mouth water and my eyes bulge.
At first, I was positive it wasn’t the same girl. I hadn’t seen her since she was nearly seventeen. It had been five years, but…wow. My mouth had gone dry as I’d scanned her figure. Her dark hair fell in waves that caressed the tops of her full breasts. Her suit nipped in at her waist before flaring out over a pair of luscious hips. Who would’ve guessed she’d grow up to be such a…bombshell?
I’d told myself if she were anyone else, I wouldn’t have hesitated to make a move. And then we’d hugged. And the feel of her in my arms…
“You know…” Ian rubbed a hand over his chin. “I haven’t seen you this out of sorts since—”
I held up my hand. “Don’t say it.” Don’t.
“You and Rachel broke up. Have you been seeing someone?” When I didn’t say anything, he said, “You have, haven’t you, you sly old dog?” He pointed at my face with a smug grin that made me want to punch him.
Even so, my heart rate skyrocketed, my pulse racing faster than it had the entire time we’d been running around the court. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Ian leaned in, butting his shoulder to mine, a knowing grin on his face. “So, who is she?”
I shook my head, sweat dripping down my back.
“Maybe I’ll have to ask Sumner if she has any ideas. Hell—” He laughed. “She’s seen more of you this summer than I have.”
I choked on my water, setting it aside before wiping my chin with my shirt. “Drop it, Ian.”
“Ooh. Somebody’s touchy.” He held up his hands in mock surrender.
I rolled my eyes and lowered my voice, knowing he wouldn’t stop badgering me unless I gave him something. “No one can know, okay? We work together,” I said, scrambling for a plausible reason to get him to drop it before I blurted the truth. “And she’s younger.”
“Gotta love a taste of the forbidden fruit,” he mused, and I wondered if he was thinking of his wife, Lea. They’d both been married when they met.
“Well, it’s over now. So, will you please just drop it?”
“Fine,” he sighed. “But I hope you guys will find a way to make it work. Anytime we talked the past few weeks, you seemed so happy.”
I had a feeling if he knew the woman in question was his daughter, he wouldn’t be so supportive.
Chapter 3
Sumner
Weeks passed, and I heard nothing from Jonathan. My classes were beginning soon, so I’d packed up and moved to Palo Alto, eager for a fresh start. Even so, my stepmom, Lea, had made me agree to return to LA for my dad’s surprise forty-fifth birthday party. I couldn’t say no to her. I knew it was important to her, and she’d always been there for me.
Of course, she’d also taken it upon herself to set me up with a date. And while I was grateful not to have to attend the event alone, I wasn’t in the mood for a date, especially not when my heart was still shredded from what Jonathan had done.
It was going to be a long weekend, and this was just the beginning. Tonight was the surprise party with 100 guests. Tomorrow morning, a small, intimate breakfast. Golfing or spa treatments for anyone who wanted to join. A night at the rooftop club. Lea really did love my dad.
I smiled and nodded politely at whatever my date, Damien, had said. But I wasn’t listening. All I could think about was the fact that I’d be seeing Jonathan again at the party, and I’d have to pretend as if nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. I placed my hand to my stomach, trying to quell the nerves there. The pleasant hum of bees was more of a riotous war cry.
I gulped down some more champagne while we waited with the other guests for my dad and Lea to arrive. I hadn’t seen Jonathan yet, and I braced myself for it. Steeled myself for the idea that he—like me—might be here with a date.
Damien excused himself to the restroom, and I didn’t seek out conversation but was drawn into it anyway. Some of my dad’s friends, my grandmother, my aunt. Everyone seemed to want to talk, and I played the part, even if my heart wasn’t in it. I kept glancing from face to face, wondering what they’d think if they knew about Jonathan and me. Not that we were together. But if we were, would my family and friends ever be able to accept our relationship? More importantly, why did I care?
“Quiet, please,” a tall blonde said from the front of the room. “Lea just texted that they’re pulling up to the hotel.”
She dimmed the lights to the ballroom, and everyone quieted down. I glanced around for Damien, knowing Lea would expect me to at least be a good host, even if I wasn’t being a good date.
When the doors to the ballroom swung open, light from the hallway filtered in. My dad’s and Lea’s silhouettes blended together, and I could hear my dad say, “Ooh, Lea. You know I love it when you get frisky.”
While others in the crowd laughed, I cringed. And then the lights came on, and everyone shouted, “Happy birthday!”
My dad paused, slowly removing his lips from his wife’s and turning toward the room. He grinned when he spotted everyone and straightened. Lea’s cheeks were dark pink, and she smoothed a hand down her dress. I laughed despite myself.
Damien appeared at my side and continued to charm everyone throughout dinner, including my grandmother. After we ate, the party moved to the hotel lawn. I still hadn’t seen Jonathan, and I was beginning to think he wasn’t coming. So, I focused on my date, resolving to put the summer behind me. To move on.
Damien seemed nice, and he was “appropriate.” And I tried—honestly. But he wasn’t Jonathan.
“Whoa,” Damien said. “Your dad looks pissed. Did I do something?”
I followed his gaze and discovered it wasn’t my dad but Jonathan who was glaring at us from across the hotel lawn. The sight of him nearly stole the breath from my lungs, but I was determined not to show him how affected I was. So, I played the part—waving with a smile before turning away.
“That’s not my dad. It’s his best friend.” And my former boss. Former…everything.
“Oh.” Damien furrowed his brow. “Okay. Is he like really protective or something?”
“Something like that,” I said, more to myself. “Come on.” I linked my arm through his and flashed him a smile. “Let’s grab a drink.”
“Good idea.”
We made the rounds, his hand on my lower back the entire time. He was nice, a talented musician, and I was…bored. God, I was so bored. And when I couldn’t handle the tedious conversation anymore, couldn’t force one more smile, I excused myself to the restroom.
My dress swished about my legs, my strides hurried as I rushed to escape. Finally, mercifully alone, my shoulders sagged. I pressed my palms to the sink and took a deep breath. A few breaths later, I lifted my head to evaluate my appearance in the mirror. The material of my dress hugged my curves, emphasizing my generous breasts before flaring over my hips. I knew I couldn’t stay in here all night, but I wasn’t ready to leave yet. So, I dug in my purse for my lip gloss.
The door to the restroom opened, and I called out. “Just a minute.”
But they didn’t hear or didn’t listen.
A moment later, Jonathan stepped inside the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind him. His suit fit him to a T, and it reminded me of our time in New York. Which only made me angry.
“Um, excuse me.” I glared at him, lip gloss poised midair. “What are you doing?”
He leaned against the door, crossing his legs at the ankle. Crossing his arm
s. I shrugged and returned my attention to the mirror, needing to avoid his powerful gaze. I took my time, leaning forward slightly and pressing my lips together. I could feel his eyes on me, scanning my legs. Good—I hoped he was thinking about the fact that they could be wrapped around his head, his waist. I hoped he was regretting his decision.
“What are you doing?” he asked in a tone that conveyed boredom. Or was that distaste? Either way, his placid demeanor was a façade. He was annoyed with me, and I knew him well enough to know that he was fighting for control. And losing.
“Applying my lip gloss,” I said, intentionally misinterpreting his question.
He let out a deep sigh, pushing off the door and stepping closer. I could see him in the reflection, feel his presence. “Sumner,” he chided. “I thought you were better than these immature games.”
“I’m not playing.” My blood boiled. “You’re the one who said we were done. You said we were never together. We were nothing.” I was nothing. I stared at him, refusing to back down.
“I lied.”
I pressed my lips together, making sure the color was applied evenly. “Well, I’m not going to wait around for you to decide if you even want to be with me.”
He grasped my shoulder, walking me backward until my back hit the wall. The cold tile was a jolt to my system. “I. Want. You,” he ground out. “But I can’t have you.”
He’d accused me of playing games, but he was the one yanking me around. He was the one who was hot then cold. He was the one who wanted to fuck me, then act like it was a mistake. Like it couldn’t happen again.
I was done. Done caring what anyone else thought. It was exhausting.
“You can have me, but you won’t take me. There’s a difference.”
He shook his head, tightening his grip on my shoulder. I welcomed the bite of pain, silently begging him to stop fighting this, fighting us. And start fighting for us. In business, he took what he wanted without regard for the consequences. Why couldn’t he do that with me?
I Have Lived And I Have Loved: A Charity Romance Collection Page 35