by J. E. Parker
Blinking slowly, she replied, “It’s okay… take them inside… but…” she wheezed out a breath, “keep them safe. Please.”
Gently, I lied my hand on top of hers. “I swear on my life that nothing will happen to them or you while you’re here. All three of you are safe.”
“Okay.”
That was easier than I thought it would be.
I turned to Liam and Declan. “You guys want to tell your mommy bye before you go get some cookies?” They hesitated. I’m sure they didn’t want to leave their mother. Still, I tried my best to assure them. “We’ll be right behind you, okay? It may take us a few minutes to get her inside since she doesn’t feel so good. We have to be extra careful with mommy.”
Both boys stepped onto the Suburban’s sideboards. “See you in a few minutes, mama,” Liam said as he blew her a kiss.
“I’ll save you a cookie.” Declan blew her another kiss.
Clara’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ll see you boys in a few minutes. Listen to what the lady says okay?” They both nodded. “Love you, boys.”
“Love you too.” My heart both melted and broke at the same time. I loved that Clara and her boys had so much love between them, but I hated that they were in this position. Hated that they ever had to meet me or come to the shelter in the first place.
I only hoped that the son of a bitch who had hurt all three of them would enjoy a nice long stay in jail, followed up by an extended vacation in prison. Though I knew it wasn’t likely. I’d worked at the shelter for five years and had been managing it for one. In that time, I’d seen hundreds of domestic violence and child abuse cases go through the system. I could count on one hand how many offenders were handed what I considered ‘appropriate sentences.’
Honest to God, I could count them all on one hand.
The criminal justice system was a joke.
Slap the offender on the wrist and re-victimize the victim, should’ve been their motto.
“Come on, little guys,” Hope said taking both Liam and Declan’s hands in hers. “Time to go eat some cookies.”
All three of them ran inside. Momentarily, I wondered who was more excited about Granny Ethel’s cookies—Hope or the boys?
Probably Hope.
I chuckled before turning to face Clara again. “Alright, sweetheart. Do you think you can walk or do you need a wheelchair?”
She took a shallow breath and grimaced. “My ribs…”
I held up my hand. “No need to say more.” I looked over my shoulder at Evan. “Can you get a wheelchair, Hulk?”
“Sure thing, boss lady.”
Within a minute or two, Evan was back. This time, he stood beside Clara’s side of the car with Shelby at his side. “Okay,” I said, my hand still lying on top of hers, “Are you comfortable with Evan helping you climb out or do you want me and Shelby to help?” She immediately began to tremble, so I quickly continued. “Remember, this is what you want. If you aren’t comfortable with Evan, just say the word. Me and the blonde bombshell over there will slide you right out.”
“You, please.” Her hand shook beneath mine.
“No problem, honey. Shelby will just have to climb in beside you. Not all three of us can fit through the door at once. Especially not with my big butt in the way.” My attempt at humor fell flat. I need to learn some good jokes. Shelby quickly ran around the car. “Alright, you ready for the VIP treatment, Clara?”
She didn’t speak. Instead, she nodded once.
With Shelby on Clara’s right side, sitting next to her on the seat, I stood to her left on the outside of the car. Behind me, Evan was waiting with the wheelchair.
I leaned forward, keeping my hands visible and wiggled my fingers. “In a second I’m going to slide one arm behind your back and the other under your thighs. Is that okay?” Clara nodded. “Shelby is also going to place both arms under your thighs as well, and then she’ll help me lift you off the seat so that I don’t jostle you too much.”
Shelby placed her hand on one of Clara’s. “You ready, sugar?”
“Yes.”
“Alright,” I said. “On the count of three, we’re going to get in position. One. Two. Three.” Simultaneously, Shelby and I slid our arms underneath Clara’s small frame. She sucked in a breath but didn’t jerk away. “Good job, sweetheart.”
Shelby’s calm voice spoke next. “Okay, on the count of three we’re going to move.” She looked over at me. “You ready?”
“Yes,” I replied, before asking Evan if the wheelchair was in position.
“It’s good to go, boss lady,” he replied, his voice tight.
Good. “Let’s go.”
Shelby counted, “One. Two. Three,” and together we moved.
“We’ve got you, Clara,” I said as we lifted her from the SUV and turned to place her in the wheelchair. “We’ve got you, sweetheart.” Tears streaked down her cheeks as wetness pooled in my own eyes. “I swear to God, we’ve got you.”
Gently—ever so gently—we sat her down in the wheelchair. She sucked in a breath as Shelby and I removed our arms from beneath her. Exhausted, she leaned back in the chair.
I squatted, putting myself eye level with her. “You ready to go inside?”
“Please,” she whispered, “I want my boys.”
I quickly stood. “I won’t keep you from them for a moment longer.” Peering over at Shelby, “Can you take her inside and find the boys. I’m sure they’re still in Granny’s kitchen.” Evan chuckled, knowing good and dang well Granny was probably stuffing their little faces with dozens of cookies and at least a half-gallon of milk. “I need to meet with transport and get all the paperwork filled out.”
Leaning over, I asked Clara, “You okay with having Shelby take you inside to find your boys?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I stood straight and slid my hands into my back pockets. “Shelby, go ahead and take her in. I’ll be in my office with the guys,” I nodded towards Ty—barf—and the other dude whose name I couldn’t remember, “if you need anything.”
Shelby began to push the wheelchair towards the shelter door but immediately stopped when Clara whispered, “Wait.”
I took a step forward and bent down. “You okay?”
“Yes. I wanted… to say thank you.” She visibly swallowed. I knew it was hard for her to speak. With a rib injury—which I wasn’t aware of until she told me minutes earlier—it’s hard to breathe, much less talk. “Thank you… for everything.”
I exhaled. “You’re more than welcome.”
I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry!
Her eyelids grew heavier, and her blinks came slower. “Take her inside, Shelby. I’ll come find y’all soon as I’m done.”
“Sure thing, sugar.” Shelby pushed the wheelchair up the ramp. “Come on, Mrs. Clara. Let’s see if Hope and the little guys left us any cookies. I think there may be a couple left. If we’re lucky.”
Shelby and Clara disappeared through the door.
To Evan, I said, “Can you—”
“Already on it, boss lady. I’ll be inside as soon as I do another perimeter check.” He turned on his heels and walked off.
“Thanks, Hulk.” I looked over at Ty. “You guys can follow me to my office. This should only take a minute or two.”
Ty locked eyes with the other transport guy and with a stupid grin on his face, “I’ve got this. You can stay out here.” His gaze landed on me. What was with this idiot? “Lead the way, Maddie.”
My body froze, and my mind reeled.
Push the memories back. Deal with them later.
“Madelyn. My name is Madelyn.”
“Oh yeah? What happened to Maddie?”
I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my mouth shut.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I replied with, “She died.”
It was the truth.
Maddie
I was going to puke.
Seriously, if I didn’t get this
man out of my office and as far away from me as possible, I was going to vomit. His presence was unlocking all sorts of emotions I didn’t want to experience, which was making me sick to my stomach.
I gestured toward one of the plastic chairs that sat opposite my desk. “Have a seat, Ty.” Plopping down in my chair, I grabbed a blank intake form out of my top desk drawer and started to fill it out. “Do you mind if I look at the records the hospital sent over?”
He shook his head. “Of course not.” Tossing the file onto my desk, he leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers behind his head. “So how have you been, Madelyn?”
I didn’t miss the way he emphasized my name. Still a smartass, I see. “Just peachy. You?”
“Could be better.” I snorted at his response. “Haven’t seen you around Kissler in quite a while.”
Opening the folder from the hospital, I began to read. “Probably because I haven’t stepped foot in Kissler in six years.”
“Six years? Jesus Christ, Maddie.”
I dropped my pen and looked up. “Madelyn. Not Maddie. Ma-duh-lin. Got it?”
Dropping his arms to his sides, he sat up straight. “Yeah, I’ve got it. Sorry.”
Sorry, my ass. The man had never been sorry for a dang thing. Least not where I was concerned. Glancing back down at the paper, I continued to read.
Three minutes later, I wanted to stab someone in the eye with a fork.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Agitated, I tugged at the hem of my shirt and looked over at Ty. “Did you read any of this?”
“No. Dr. Rollins filled me in before we left the ER.”
I didn’t understand what I was reading. How did she… I mean… “How has Clara survived this long?” Fractures. Concussions. Burns. A stab wound? “How the hell is her husband not in prison for attempted murder?” My rage reached a dangerous level in two seconds flat. Madder than a hornet, I kicked the small trash can that sat beside my desk. “Please explain that to me!”
Ty held both of his hands up in a defensive gesture. “Calm down, hellcat.”
I lost it.
“Calm down? Calm. Down?” I grabbed the file from my desk and turned it towards him. A fire lit in the deepest recess of my guts, and I wanted nothing more than to rip someone apart with my bare hands. Slamming the file down on my desk, I gritted my teeth and clenched every muscle in my body. It was the only thing that kept me from screaming at the top of my lungs.
Pointing at the sloppily written words in black ink, I screamed, “He’s fractured her jaw twice. Broken her orbital bone once. Given her multiple concussions. Burned her with cigarettes and stabbed her in the goddamn thigh! And her poor boys. God only fucking knows what those poor kids have seen!” I pointed towards my office door. “That family out there has been living in hell, and you’re telling me to calm down?” Plucking the stapler off my desk, I launched it at him with all my might. Internally, I hoped that it cracked his thick skull wide open. “On behalf of the thousands of abused women and children in this state alone, fuck you, Ty Jacobs!”
He leaped out of his chair, narrowly missing the flying hunk of metal. “Have you lost your damn mind, woman?”
“Lost my mind?” Tossing my head back, I cackled like a crazed witch. “I lost my godforsaken mind six years ago and I ain’t found it yet!”
I picked up an empty coffee cup from my filing cabinet and reared back to throw it, aiming right for one my childhood bullies head. “Don’t you throw that, Maddie!”
Maddie. He called me Maddie. Again.
I couldn’t stop the angry tears that fell from my eyes. “I told you not to call me that!” My chest heaved and my face burned. “I told you not to fucking call me that!”
I swung my arm forward, releasing the coffee cup. Ty dived out of the way and straight into…me.
Crap!
Wrapping his arms around my body, he pressed my arms against my sides. Losing my balance, I went down, and he followed. Contorting his body, so he took the brunt of the impact, Ty hit the floor, hard, and I landed right on top of him.
I struggled and tried my best to get free, but it was no use. Ty was strong. “Let me go!”
He squeezed me against him. “What is the matter with you?”
I pushed. I pulled. I kicked with my legs.
Nada.
“Let me go, Ty!”
“Not a chance. Not until you tell me what in the hell is the matter with you.”
What was the matter with me? I was a giant ball of chaos that was moments away from splintering into a thousand jagged little pieces. Holding onto both sanity and reality by a frayed thread, I was teetering on the precipice of slipping into a dark abyss I feared would swallow me whole.
I was a mess.
One moment everything was too loud, and the next everything was too quiet. I felt like I was in a constant state of whirling emotions and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t find anything to anchor me.
Deep inside, I was fighting a losing battle I doubted I could never win, but I was still hanging on, and praying like hell I’d rise into the light instead of sinking into the darkness.
To sum it up, I was losing my damn mind, and I knew it.
And it was all because Hendrix Cole left me.
He. Left. Me!
I managed to roll on top of him and with my back to his front, I reared my head up and slammed my skull down onto his chest. I pulled the single hand that held both of my wrists captive and begged, “Please let me go.”
He didn’t. If possible, he held on tighter.
“Not until I'm sure you won't try to hurt yourself or me.”
Hurt myself? I hadn’t tried to hurt myself. Only him. And what did he care anyway? Ty had been nothing but a jerk my entire life. “Don’t worry.” Chest heaving, heart pounding, I fought for breath. “I won’t mess up your pretty boy face.”
His body stilled before he laughed. “Pretty boy? Are you kidding me?”
I clenched my teeth and clawed at the back of his hand with my nails.
The move did not affect him.
I was suffocating. “Ty,” I choked, feeling my chest beginning to burn “Please let me go.” He didn’t move. “I…” My head spun, and my lungs screamed in agony. “I can’t breathe!” I could breathe. It just didn’t feel like it. The panic, the anger, the stupid pain made it feel like my life force was being sucked right out of me.
Ty dropped his hold on me, and I rolled off him. Forcing myself to my knees, I placed my hand on my chest and inhaled through my nose.
Breathe. Just breathe.
The asshole beside me sat up and bent his legs at the knees. He placed his hand on my back. I flinched at the touch. I didn’t want him nor any other man touching me. No one touched me except Hen—
I caught myself before I allowed my mind to whisper his name for the second time in as many minutes. Still, it didn’t stop the agony that sliced through me as the past came rushing back.
The sound of his voice.
The smell of his skin.
The taste of his lips.
I tried, I swear to God I did, but I couldn’t stop the words that spilled from my lips as almost two decades worth of feelings slammed into me with the force of a freight train. “I can’t think of him, Ty!” A hiccup broke free from my chest. “I can’t think of him at all.” I choked on my words as they spewed from my mouth in a volcano of acidic tasting syllables. “It’s too hard.” My body went tensed before going limp. “The pain is too much.”
The last thing I wanted to do was break down—especially in front of Ty—but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The fluctuating emotions and suppressed feelings were simply too much for me to bear.
Before I could blink, Ty moved. Lifting me into his arms, he pulled me onto his lap and pressed his chin to the top of my head. If I’d been of sound mind and body, I would have been thinking something along the lines of, ‘what in the hell?’ But I was too out of it to realize that a guy who I’d spent most of my life hating,
was now the one holding me together when I was damn near falling apart.
Talk about irony.
Ty rocked me as I sobbed into his arms. “I’ve got you. Just take two deep breaths for me.” Clutching his forearm with my fingers, I inhaled through the tear-laden convulsions that racked my body. “Good job. Just keep breathing.”
I breathed. I counted. I focused.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Suddenly, my office door swung open, and Shelby burst inside. I couldn’t see her face, but her voice was laced with panic. “What’s going on in here?” She came closer and dropped to her knees at my side, her beautiful face coming into view. Just like before, she touched my lower back with the tips of her fingers. “What happened?”
Ty spoke up. “She got a little upset. But we’re working through it.” He squeezed me tighter, and my shoulders shook against his chest. I didn’t know who else was in the room with us, but I could tell it wasn’t just Shelby. I felt more than one pair of eyes on me. “She just needs a minute.”
Shelby shifted and looked over her shoulder at the aftermath of my temper tantrum. “Is that a busted coffee cup?”
Ty grunted. “She threw it at me.”
Stunned, Shelby repeated his words. “She threw it at you?”
“Nearly certain she was aiming for my head, too.”
Shelby waved her arms in the air. “Wait, a minute. Back up. You’re sayin’ that,” she pointed at me, “Madelyn threw a coffee cup at you?”
“Yeah. After she’d already thrown the stapler and missed.”
Shelby sucked in a breath. “You can’t be serious.”
Ty’s softly spoken “I’m very serious,” was followed by a deep, robust laugh. Evan. If it had been possible at the time, I would’ve smiled at the sound.
“I don’t believe it. I’ve never seen Madelyn raise her voice, much less get mad enough to throw somethin’!”
I felt Ty’s shrug. “What can I say? I bring out the best in people. Especially women.”