After my last class I headed home. I still hadn’t heard from Chase again. Or Cooper, for that matter. Their radio silence was disconcerting—seemed like a bad sign. I wondered if I should try to talk to Chase—text him or stop by. I had no desire to talk to Cooper. I was still too angry. Until he decided to apologize, I didn’t want to deal with him.
When I got back to Salishan, I walked over to the Big House. It was open, but there weren’t many guests. Just one group in the tasting room. I went upstairs to Zoe’s office, hoping she was still here. I really needed to talk to someone, and I didn’t think my mom would understand.
I knocked on her half-open door. “Hey Zoe. Are you busy?”
“Hey.” She looked up from her messy desk. “No, I’m just finishing up a few things. Come on in.”
My hero worship of Zoe had never quite gone away. She was beautiful, with long dark hair and blue eyes. She had a tiny stud in her nose and little tattoos on her wrists that were so her. Even dressed in a very businesslike blouse, she still looked like Zoe—had a little edge.
“Thanks.” I sank down into the chair on the other side of her desk.
She took a small notebook and waved it in front of her face. “Is it hot in here?”
“Not to me, but I just walked over and it’s cold outside. How are you feeling?”
“Terrible with a side of always hot,” she said. “So far being pregnant sucks. But I’ll survive. What’s up?”
I took a deep breath. Where did I even begin? I might as well just say it. “Um, so… Chase kissed me the other day.”
She stopped fanning herself and her eyes widened. “You mean, my goofball Chase? Chase Reilly?”
“Yes.”
“Whoa,” she said and resumed fanning.
“I don’t know how it happened the first time. I—”
“The first time?”
“Well, yeah.”
“I’m sorry. Keep going.”
“I was yelling at him for… well, he helped me with my car, but that’s not the point. I was frustrated, and he was kind of in the wrong place at the wrong time. He kissed me, and it was really surprising. But then Roland came over, so he left really fast.”
“Well at least he was smart enough to do that.”
“Yeah, what is going on with my brothers lately? Wait, don’t answer that, I’ll come back to it in a second. So the next day, Chase came over. He brought a movie—”
“Please tell me it wasn’t a Disney movie.”
I laughed a little. “No, but he did make me promise not to tell what it was.”
“God, I love him,” she said. “Sorry, go on.”
“We didn’t just watch the movie. We talked. A lot. And before he left, he said he really liked me and he wanted to know if he could ask me out. But he needed to talk to Cooper about it first, and Cooper was out of town.”
Zoe’s eyebrows drew in. “Huh. Okay.”
“We saw each other every day after that. He helped move my stuff into storage and helped me study for a test. And I hung out with him at his place a few times. Nothing happened. We just talked. Like, about everything. There was so much about him I didn’t know.”
Her expression grew more bewildered by the second.
“So yesterday, my car wouldn’t start. He gave me a ride to campus, which was so nice of him, because I’m sure he was supposed to be working. And then he picked me up and… god, Zoe, I don’t know. There was so much tension. It was driving me nuts. I asked if he wanted to hang out again, so we went to his place. And that feeling—all that tension between us—it didn’t go away. So I asked if he felt it too, and he said yes, so I said fuck it and kissed him.”
Zoe nodded slowly.
“And then… Cooper wasn’t supposed to be home until tomorrow.”
“Oh Jesus,” Zoe said, leaning back in her chair. “No wonder you called me for a ride home last night. How bad was it?”
“It was so bad.” A lump started forming in my throat, and I tried to swallow it down. “He caught us making out on their couch.”
“Okay, that couch is kind of gross, so maybe next time just go straight for the bedroom,” Zoe said. “Or stick to your place.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the tip, but that’s not really the point. And I don’t know if there will be a next time. Cooper was so angry. He went off on Chase about how he should have known better and I’m off limits. Then he tried to drag me out of there and take me home.”
“Which is why you called me.”
“Yeah, exactly,” I said. “I stormed out and now I feel awful for leaving. Maybe I should have stayed to help Chase get through to Cooper.”
Zoe started fanning herself again. Her cheeks were a little flushed. “Don’t beat yourself up about that. When Cooper decides to be unreasonable about something, it’s pretty hard to get through to him. And lately, anything to do with you makes him unreasonable.”
“I know. What’s up with that? Yeah, our dad sucks, but why does Cooper think that means I suddenly need a bodyguard and a chastity belt?”
“It’s not just you,” she said. “He’s doing it to your mom, too.”
“Oh god, my poor mom.”
“Your mom is an expert Cooper-handler. I need to process this for a second, because I think you’re telling me that Chase was getting ready to tell Cooper he wants to date you, and that’s just… I’m having a hard time internalizing that information.”
“Why?”
Zoe put the notebook down and gathered her hair up off her neck. “Because Chase doesn’t date. Well, that’s not entirely true. Once in a while he sees the same girl for a few months or something, but that barely counts. I don’t think the guy’s ever had a long-term relationship. Except for Cooper. But not with anyone he’s sleeping with.”
I shifted in the chair. I knew that, but I didn’t really like hearing it. “Yeah, I know.”
“You guys go to pound-town yet?” she asked.
My cheeks warmed. “God, Zoe. No.”
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately,” she said. “It’s like my filter is completely broken. Yesterday I told one of my brides her centerpieces were ugly.”
“What?”
She waved it off, like it was no big deal. “It sounds worse than it was. She agreed with me. Anyway, where are things now?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Cooper doesn’t seem to be speaking to me. Or he’s taking his time getting to the part where he sends me five hundred funny texts in a row. Chase texted me once last night to ask if I was okay, but I haven’t heard from him since.”
Zoe paused, letting her hair fall back around her shoulders. “This is tough, Brynn, I’m not gonna lie. Making out with your brother’s best friend… that’s touchy. And when the brother is Cooper, it’s downright dangerous.”
“I know. I didn’t mean for him to find out like that. And Chase didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who messed it up by giving in to my stupid hormones.”
“I guess the question is, what do you want now? Were you just fooling around with Chase? Because, honestly, if that’s all it was, I think you should walk away.”
“Why should I let Cooper’s temper dictate who I date?”
“You shouldn’t,” she said. “That’s not what I mean. All that stuff Chase did? It’s not very Chase-like. I’ve known him for years, and I’ve never seen him put that much effort into a girl. He’s usually all about having fun, and if there’s even a hint of it getting complicated, he’s out. This was going to be complicated from the start—and he knew it—and he was still willing to take a chance on you. So what I’m saying is that if you’re just having a little fun, maybe it’s fine to let it go. Unless…”
“Unless, what?”
“Unless that look on your face means you’re not just indulging in a brother’s best friend fantasy, and you really like him.”
I blinked away the sting of tears. “It’s the second one.”
“I kind of thought so,” she said, her voice soft
.
“But how can I get between him and Cooper? I can’t ask him to choose between us. Plus, I haven’t heard from him since last night. I think you’re right about him bowing out as soon as things get complicated. And this is beyond complicated.”
“You think Chase is going to bail?”
“Don’t you?” I asked. “We weren’t even really dating yet. And it’s not like he has any problems meeting girls.”
“Well, maybe you weren’t technically dating, but spending all that time together counts for something.” She paused for a second. “Do you want my advice?”
“Yes.”
She picked up the notebook and fanned herself again. “Give Chase a little time. He needs to make this decision for himself. This is probably putting a level of strain on their friendship that they’ve never dealt with before. Let’s be honest, those two have been sailing through life like it’s an endless party. It seems to me that Chase just found a pretty compelling reason to grow up, and Cooper’s going to struggle with that.”
“Yeah. Plus he doesn’t want me to date anyone. Ever.”
“I know, he’s taking his overprotective thing to new heights right now,” she said. “It’s how he’s coping with your dad.”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah, but it still sucks. I know it hasn’t been very long, but… Chase and I were… I don’t know. Is it weird to say we were good together?”
“It’s not weird. It’s actually pretty awesome. I’ve been waiting for the day when a girl would bring Chase to his knees.” She gave me a reassuring smile. “I know it’s hard. He could still decide he’s better off walking away. But I don’t think he will.”
“What do I do about Cooper?”
“Give him time too,” she said. “If Chase backs off, I’m sure Cooper will be falling all over himself to convince you not to be mad at him. And if Chase doesn’t…”
I raised my eyebrows, hoping she’d tell me she knew Cooper, and she was sure he’d accept that Chase and I wanted to be together.
“If Chase decides that what he feels for you is too big to let Cooper get in the way, you have a decision to make, too. You have to decide if what you feel for Chase is worth pursuing, even if Cooper isn’t okay with it. And then accept the fallout until he gets his head out of his ass.”
“What if he never does? What if Chase and I date and Cooper’s never okay with it?”
I got the feeling Zoe didn’t want to answer that question—or didn’t know what to say. She stared at her desk for a long moment. “I don’t know, Brynn. Cooper has a huge heart. He doesn’t know how to do anything small, you know? When he cares, he cares with everything he has. You’re his baby; it’s not like he’s going to disown you. He’ll have to figure it out.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Thanks.”
She smiled. “Anytime. I’d offer to take you out for a few drinks, but I’m exhausted. I’d probably fall asleep on the bar. Plus, you know, pregnant.”
“That’s okay. I’m exhausted, too.” It was barely dinnertime, and I was already thinking about bed. “I think I’m going to go change into pajamas and eat ice cream for dinner.”
“Good plan.”
I got up and hugged Zoe before going back to the cottage. She was probably right about giving Chase time. Whatever was going on between him and Cooper, I needed to let him decide what he was going to do about it.
The problem was, I had a feeling he was going to decide I wasn’t worth it.
How could a week make that much of a difference? Maybe Chase liked me, but that wasn’t enough. And despite the fact that I knew we had potential—I felt it deep in my soul—we probably weren’t going to get the chance to find out what this could have been.
And that hurt more than I would have imagined.
It hurt more than when my ex had cheated on me. When I’d caught them, I’d been so furious, I almost couldn’t remember it happening. But this wasn’t the hot flare of rage that would die down to a simmer and quickly fade. I’d gotten over Austin pretty fast because I hadn’t been in love with him.
Was I in love with Chase? It seemed stupid to even consider it. Sure, I’d known him forever, but the sparks between us were so recent. Still, I had known him forever. And getting to know him in a new way this last week… it had changed everything.
I checked my phone for what felt like the millionth time, wishing Chase would text. Or call. Or… anything. The longer the silence stretched out between us, the more convinced I became that he wasn’t going to. That I wouldn’t hear anything, and the next time I ran into him, he’d give me a half-hearted apology. Shrug and say sorry, but it was too complicated.
Rain pattered against the cottage roof and ran in rivulets down the windows. I was about to go run a bath—the best part of these guest cottages were the big jetted tubs—when someone knocked on the door.
I opened it to find Chase, standing in the pouring rain. He looked miserable, with water streaming down his face, soaking his clothes.
“I’m sorry, Brynn, but I just can’t.”
My chest clenched with anguish. I knew this would happen. Damn it, Cooper. Why did he have to ruin this for me? “It’s okay. I understand.”
He stepped closer. “No, I don’t think you do. I’m falling in love with you, and I can’t let you go.”
Fourteen
Chase
There, I said it. I’d never told someone I was falling in love with them before. But I’d never been in this position before. I’d never been in love before.
“I know it’s crazy.” I was soaking wet, but the cold barely registered. “I’m sorry if this is too soon. But it’s the truth. I can’t walk away from this, Brynn. No matter what else happens, I can’t let you go.”
She stared at me, her lips parted. My chest tightened and for a second, I thought I’d made a horrible mistake.
“Oh my god, Chase, I’m falling in love with you too.”
Those were the sweetest words I’d ever heard. I stepped in and pulled her close. I needed to kiss her like I needed to breathe. Our lips met, and I practically shuddered with relief. The cold and rain were nothing compared to the fear I’d felt on the way over here. I’d known I was going to say it—put my heart out there. I hadn’t known if she’d crush it or take it gently in the palm of her hand.
“Oh my god, come in, you’re getting soaked.” She led me inside and shut the door behind me.
Water dripped down my clothes onto the floor. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Let me get you a towel.”
She disappeared into the bathroom. I stood next to the front door, dripping wet, equal parts miserable and elated. Miserable because the last twenty-four hours had been the worst of my entire life. Elated because Brynn had just told me she loved me. And that made everything worth it.
“Come here.” Wrapping a towel around my shoulders, she led me to the couch.
I sank down onto the edge and held her hips while she gently toweled off my hair. The cold was finally starting to seep into me and I shivered. It was pouring out there.
“Let me put this in the dryer.”
She lifted my shirt over my head, but I didn’t want her to leave. I pulled her down into my lap and she let the shirt drop to the floor.
“You’re so cold,” she said, wrapping her arms around me.
I buried my face in her neck and nodded. Her body was warm and soft. I took a deep breath, taking in her scent, and wrapped my arms around her. She caressed my back with slow strokes, her hands trailing gently across my skin.
She pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapped it around us both. I settled into the cushions with her still in my arms.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come over sooner. I was hoping I could work this out with Cooper first.”
“What happened?”
I took a deep breath. “He left last night not long after you did. I waited up for him, but he came home drunk, so I just made sure he got to bed okay. Then I came over here to fix your car.”
/>
“Wait, you fixed my car in the middle of the night last night?”
“Yeah, of course. I knew you had to get to school today.”
She blinked at me a few times, her lips parted. “Chase, that’s… thank you.”
“It was just your battery. No big deal. Anyway, Cooper left again early this morning, but he was there when I got home from work.”
“Why do I have a feeling it didn’t go well?”
“It didn’t.” I paused, the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach flaring again. “If anything, he was more pissed off. I tried, but…”
“But he wouldn’t listen.”
“Nope. Then I got mad and left. I drove around for a while because I needed to think. And then I came here.”
She tilted her chin so she could look up at me. “Chase, I can’t ask you to choose between me and your best friend.”
“I know.” I shifted her so I could look her in the eyes. This was important. “I don’t want to lose Cooper. But Brynn, I can’t lose you. If I walked away now, I’d never forgive myself. Not when I had a chance with you. This isn’t just because you’re beautiful—which you are—or because I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life—which I do. This is too big. It’s too real. I’ve never felt anything like this before. I’m an idiot a lot of the time, but I’m not stupid enough to let you go. No matter what it costs me.”
She touched my face and leaned in to softly kiss my lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
Her nose brushed against mine and her voice was a whisper. “Did you really say you love me?”
“Yes. And I meant it. Did you really say it back?”
“Yes. Are we crazy?”
I slid my hand to the back of her head. “Maybe. But I don’t care.”
Leaning in, I drew her mouth to mine. The softness of her lips felt so good, like she could heal all the broken places inside me. I kissed her slowly. Gently. Tasted her lips with my tongue.
This was why I was here. Why I couldn’t let her go. I kissed her deeply, feeling the empty space inside me fill with her. With beautiful, sweet Brynn Miles who’d once dreamed of being mine.
Forbidden Miles (The Miles Family Series Book 2) Page 10