I met several people as I went around the room. There was a redheaded girl named Carly, another girl named Maria, a boy with glasses and shaggy blond hair named Darren, and as I made my way through the circle, I noticed there were less in attendance than last night.
“How many of you are there here?” I asked.
Surprisingly, Lee beat Nick to the answer. “There are 22 active Keepers here, but it’s rare to find us all together at any given time. Right now, there are a few people in the training rooms, and some are in the library gathering as much information on the First as they can. Others are in the dining hall eating, and some just came off their night guard and crashed not long ago.”
Two words piqued my interest. “Night guard?” I asked, hopeful I might actually see some action.
“Yeah, we have people assigned to watch for any vampire activity. It’s pretty boring, though. We haven’t seen much excitement around these parts.”
Damn. There went my sanity.
“Lucy, there you are. How did you sleep?” Helen came through the door in her understated corporate attire.
I was beginning to think the flannel and jeans at her apartment were an act of false camaraderie, a way to relate to me on my level in order to gain trust. I still couldn’t get an accurate read on this woman. Suspicion tiptoed around inside me. When it started tap-dancing, my claws would come out. Until then, I’d write it off as my very own special concoction of paranoia and distrust.
“It was the best night’s sleep a dead woman can get,” I replied cheerily.
Her stone face never cracked once. “I’m glad to hear that. Are you ready to get started?”
I was so ready for anything that involved punching, kicking or staking. “Yep,” I answered.
As I rounded the couch to meet her at the entry, I passed a set of closed pocket doors leading into the library. Through the thin panes I saw three girls I didn’t recognize and a boy I remembered seeing last night. Sensing my eyes on them, they each looked up and found me staring. Again, I pulled out my ‘I come in peace’ smile.
The girl with long blond hair looked in my direction with cool distaste and turned her nose up. Either my smile still needed work, or I just encountered the drama queen of the group. I hadn’t realized I was back in high school. I hated high school the first time, which was why I dropped out.
Another girl with short brown hair and dark framed glasses that were two big for her face looked at me with more warmth than anyone yet. The smile that formed on my face was the first real one since… well, since a certain someone made me fall in love with him.
Stifle it, Lucy.
Helen led me down the hall to the smallest of the three training rooms where one guy practiced his left hook on a punching bag. He stopped to greet us when we approached. He stood only a few feet from us, and I openly gawked at his long muscled limbs and towering height. His sweaty white tank clung to his dark skin, and I forced my gaze up to meet his before my awkward staring could be misconstrued as ogling. He looked to be in his mid twenties.
“Wade, I’d like you to meet Lucy.” Helen introduced us and explained that Wade would be working with me. She made it clear he was in charge when she wasn’t around and he would be reporting back to her with my progress.
I quickly learned that Wade was a quiet, no nonsense kind of guy. “Wade, no offense, but I don’t really see what you could teach me that I don’t already know. I’ve gotten pretty good at killing vampires.”
“How many have you killed since you became one yourself?” he asked, no judgment in his tone, but it still stung to be categorized as one of them.
“Only one, but I haven’t really been given the opportunity,” I replied.
“You don’t have enough experience, Lucy. At least, not with your newly developed strength you don’t. First and foremost, we need to dial in your control over your own body. Some moves take more finesse than others. Always going full speed and strength can sometimes backfire, which is what your natural instincts will tell you to do. If you can learn to hold back, you will gain power over your muscles’ movements and be able to fine tune the smallest of actions.”
I knew how to hold back. I did it in my first life. I was pretty sure I could do it in this one. I wasn’t a toddler.
He guided me around the punching bag to a very large and heavy freestanding vault and he stepped back.
“Your natural instincts recognize the fight inside you and will want to release your full strength. You must start by trying to refine your attack instincts. You may not be able to offset them, but you can command your train of thoughts so that you don’t have killing or hunting on the mind while fighting,” he explained.
Was he high? He expected me to not think about killing while fighting vampires? It was already impossible to block Shane’s image from my mind when throwing a punch.
“This vault is made of some of the strongest metal there is. I want to first test your full strength and then dial it down from there. Now, strike it with everything you have,” he instructed. He stood with both arms across his chest, his eyes critical as he waited.
I wanted to laugh and ask when the real fighting would begin, but something told me that conversation would lead to a dead end.
I approached the vault, my arm already tingling with anticipation. Images from the past few months invaded my thoughts. I saw vampires looming above me in a dark abandoned church. Each broken bone I ever incurred brought a fresh wave of phantom pain. I winced when hundreds of faces flashed through my mind. Killers. Victims. Family. Allies.
I balled my fist and struck out, steeling myself. Pulling my arm back to inspect the damage revealed only a slight dent in the forged metal. Confusion set in, leading to frustration and ultimately anger. I went at it several more times with more fervor. Determination proved useless when each attempt brought similar results.
“Interesting,” Wade commented after I relented.
“Interesting? That’s it? How the hell is this possible? I know I’m stronger than this. I fought someone just as strong in St. Louis only days ago. I should be punching through this thing like a paper bag!” I shouted before releasing more anger onto the vault.
It didn’t budge.
“I’m sorry, Lucy. I didn’t expect it to go this way. I thought you’d have the opposite problem. A vampire’s mind is much more complex than a human’s. It can be very efficient but also much more difficult to control. It is more tightly woven with your actions than you may realize. It may not be as simple as relying on muscle memory.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I was still seething. “And how do you know anything about a vampire’s mind?”
“We have a vast library here. I think it might be a good idea to call it quits for today. We may have gotten ahead of ourselves. You should check out the library and look over the section on transformations. Maybe when you learn more about yourself, we can try again.”
I was frustrated and ready to throw Wade through a wall. Turning into a complete failure was not something I was prepared for. Being weak was basically my worst nightmare, and as I stalked out of the room, a single thought taunted me.
I was a fucking toddler.
Needing to clear my head before self-destruct mode engaged, I meandered to the kitchen, where Chef Eric didn’t even look up when he placed a full glass of blood in front of me. I smiled brightly and swiftly snatched the glass as he went back to stirring something that smelled strongly of onion. The corner of his mouth tipped up in response to my appreciative eagerness.
“Thanks, Chef!” I exclaimed, my mood already improving.
I finished my O positive before wandering to the library. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with Blondie. The other girl from earlier was still there and only looked up with a gentle smile before diving back into her text.
Scanning the shelves, I spotted the section on transformations that Wade mentioned. The more recent publications looked boring, but I came across a small section of journals wi
th no dates. The worn leather bindings appeared to be old, but I couldn’t guess the period.
Hauling them to the nearest table, I propped my head against my palm and set to work skimming them for anything useful. My eyes caught on an entry titled “Waking up a Monster,” and I couldn’t believe I was reliving someone else’s transformation. Where did they find these journals, and what vampire would write all this down?
The script recounted this vampire’s struggle with waking up in a gutter and dealing with his cravings. I flipped the pages before stopping again on another entry that explained more about losing control.
My mind is no longer my own. It belongs to the demon now. It no longer works like gears in a clock but with a magic I can’t fathom. It plays tricks on me, staving my strength in the most inconvenient of times. When I think it is under my control, it shows me it is not. I no longer know myself and pose a great threat to those nearest to me.
-Wilhem Faust
Curiosity took hold of me, and I rifled greedily through every journal. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I had to know more. Having a sneak peek into another vampire’s mind was too tempting. It was strange seeing their thoughts and confusion play out like my own. I was under the impression I was a very different breed.
Endless tales of debauchery and bloodlust, however, made me wonder if maybe we were different. Or worse yet, one in the same. I couldn’t help but contemplate whether or not this was what I had to look forward to in my future.
Before my hope plummeted from the Kawarau Bridge without a bungee cord, I found a silver lining. An entry in the last journal was titled “Becoming one with my Mind.”
I now realize after much practice I can discipline my mind. Everything is connected in this body so intricately. My emotions are tied to my thoughts and my movements. When I can regulate them, my body behaves in a precise manner. If my movements fail me, I must look to my thoughts. If something is troubling me, it does, indeed, affect what command I have over my strength.
My body is a weapon. In order to wield it properly, I have learned to center my thoughts and calm my disquieted spirit. The demon’s hold will not relent unless I possess full control over my mind and spirit.
The thirst is also worsened by this loss of composure. A vampire’s emotions are much more difficult to combat than a human’s. They can bring about one’s demise, or one’s insanity.
-W.F.
Great. So, basically, I needed to see a shrink. This day kept getting better and better. Slamming the journal shut, I closed my eyes, releasing an audible sigh.
“Do you want some help with anything?” a soft, timid voice asked.
A little startled, I glanced up to find the quiet brunette standing right in front of me. I was so consumed with my research I hadn’t even realized she was still here.
She introduced herself before I could answer the question. “My name is Sophie.” She extended her hand and eyed me, a bit unsure of herself now.
“Sorry, I’m Lucy,” I said, making no move to take her hand. “I probably shouldn’t touch you. Apparently, I have no control over my demon body.”
She stared, wide-eyed for a moment, then cracked a smile, measuring my intentions before responding herself. She finally pulled her hand back to push her glasses up her nose.
“Um, so is there anything I can help with? I’m in here a lot, so I know where a lot of things are,” she said sweetly.
“Yeah, do you happen to have How to be a Good Vampire For Dummies?” I asked.
Another hesitation before the joke dawned on her. “Oh! Oh, you’re funny,” she laughed. “I don’t know if I can help you there, but there might be other questions I could answer.”
“To be honest, Sophie, I’m not sure if I can handle any more answers right now. They always seem to bring bad news.”
“Well, like I said, I’m here a lot if you think of any. Let me know,” she repeated shyly.
She was a tad awkward and in serious need of a confidence boost, but I could tell we were going to get along splendidly. So far, she was the only person who seemed genuine. Everyone else either wanted something or had a hidden agenda. She was also the first person who didn’t look at me like I was a celebrity. Bonus points for that.
“Thanks. Actually, I do have a question, not vampire related,” I prompted.
She beamed. “Sure. What do you want to know about?”
“Who really owns this house? I know some of the Keepers leave part of their inheritance to the organization after they die, but whose signature is on the deed?”
It wasn’t exactly imperative that I knew the answer, but it has been nagging me since I arrived.
“Hmm,” she pondered it as her nose wrinkled with concentration, causing her large glasses to slip down further. “I don’t know. Helen mostly runs the place, but I don’t think her name is on the deed. It might be one of the benefactors who passed away, or his family. I only came here about a year ago. Why do you ask?”
“Just curious. I was thinking how my room alone could be fit for royalty. It isn’t, like, some royal family’s vacation home, is it?”
“No, but they did remodel your room before you got here. Helen saw to it that you had all new furniture and clothes.”
“Did she?” I asked. Was she trying to make up for the years of silence? Curiouser and Curiouser.
†
The rest of the day was dreadfully boring as I sat in my room listening to music, all the while forming a plan to tame my inner demon. That went about as well as a cat taking a swim. When Helen suggested I try meditation routines this week, I walked away.
I was sure this place would result in my demise or my insanity, as my new pal, W.F., would say. My success at learning meditation was improbable at best.
Wade had directed me to another training room where I would begin my lessons in glorified breathing, per Helen’s request. I was to report there every day for a week, or until I showed signs of progress. I wasn’t happy about the lack of action, but with an enormous effort, I kept myself subdued. I knew it was the safest thing for everyone in the house.
The following day, I met a couple new people in the meditation room. There was a tall lanky guy about 16 with long, dark, shaggy hair named John and another dark haired girl about the same age with a short gymnast build named Rachel. I learned they were siblings, but Rachel was only fifteen, while John just turned seventeen.
They were nice and kept mostly to themselves, almost afraid to get too close to me. I didn’t push them. They did yoga while I sat quietly trying to clear my head.
According to Wade and Helen, I needed to think about whatever might be bothering me and come to terms with it. Let me take a moment here to laugh out loud. I really wanted to test my strength on their faces.
Hmm. What could possibly be bothering me?
So instead, I spent the entire morning thinking of other ways to get my muscle back. I went through every meditation routine I could think of, which consisted of me chanting Ohmm over and over for a couple hours. I tried clearing my mind, but that only led to me focusing on every tiny sound reverberating throughout the mansion.
I heard floors creaking, chairs scraping, tree limbs creaking under the weight of the snow and a little heavy breathing somewhere in the other wing of the house. Someone was getting lucky.
Frustration finally got the best of me, and I had to break for lunch before I accidentally hurt someone. On my way to the other wing, I passed Blondie in the hall, who was so busy trying to straighten her blouse that she almost ran straight into me. I stopped to allow her enough time to look up and see me.
When she finally did, she came to a full stop, gasping in surprise. “Watch it,” she snapped.
“I was watching, which is why you didn’t run into me,” I retorted with growing disdain.
“You think you’re hot shit, don’t you? You shouldn’t even be here, vampire. We were better off without you.”
What was she talking about? I didn’t think of m
yself as hot anything. “What is your problem?” I asked.
“You. Everyone is so in awe of the chosen one. You’re the one that will bring peace to the world and blah, blah, blah. I don’t buy it, though. I think you’re going to get us all killed. From what I hear, you’ve done nothing but piss off every powerful vampire in the world and they’re looking for you. And from what I’ve seen the past few days, I don’t think you can handle it.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, too… I’m sorry, what was your name?”
“It’s Allison. I’m one of the best fighters this place has. I’ve killed vampires before. Remember that in case you start to get hungry.”
“Noted. I’m actually feeling a bit hungry now,” I said, advancing on her.
She inched back, but that tiny display was enough to know she was all talk. Maybe she got lucky and killed a vampire or two, but the fight in her eyes was beginning to wane with the first sign of danger.
“Care to join me for lunch? Or do you need to go cover up that hickey?”
She huffed and stomped a foot as she hurried past me. “You might want to keep an eye out for sharp pointy objects. Accidents happen. You never know when one might stab you in the back,” she warned.
I walked away shaking my head. “Been there, done that. Find a new threat, Drama Queen.”
Making my way through the dining room with my fresh thermos, I spotted Sophie at a table by the windows. “Hey, mind if I join you?”
Looking up from her worn copy of Pride and Prejudice, she smiled and put the book down. “Sure. Have a seat.”
“Thank you. I don’t want to bother you if you’re busy,” I said, nodding in the direction of her book.
“Oh, no. I’ve read it like fifty times already, anyway. It’s really good,” she gushed. She seemed so animated when it came to books, but any other time I’ve seen her, she was uncomfortable and closed off.
“I’ll have to take your word for it,” I said, admitting to my lack of a reading resume.
“Really? Here, take mine. Everyone has to read this one at least once. It’s a classic.” She offered me the book.
Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) Page 10