However sluggish my body was, my brain continued to race with different outcomes of the impending battle. I went through several meditative techniques to quiet my mind. Nothing worked. I thought music might ease my psyche. Just as I reached for my ear buds, a feminine laugh caught my attention.
I rushed to my door and cracked it open an inch in time to see Allison step out of Gavin’s room. What the f-
“Thank you for all your help,” she gushed.
Gavin followed behind her to lean against his doorframe casually, as if he wasn’t the biggest scumbag in the world. My hackles raised and I flung the door open, not caring about the loud bang against the wall.
“What the hell are you doing on this side of the house?” I demanded, looking directly at Allison. If I glanced at Gavin right now, my most potent ire would be unleashed.
She twisted her grin up a notch. “Gavin, here, was showing me a few of his moves.” She drew out the last word, insinuating something more than just tactical maneuvers.
“Lucy, she wanted to know the best striking attacks against the faster assassins. I merely showed her the best grip and thrust maneuvers,” he said, and then pinched his eyes closed at his poor word choices.
Mine practically bulged out of my skull. I crossed my arms. “Was it worth it?” I spat.
Allison’s expression turned lascivious. “Oh yeah,” she responded.
“Lucy, you know what I meant. Allison, I hope I helped, but you should go practice with the others.”
She shrugged innocently. “Sleep well, handsome.” When she spun to leave, she met my gaze with a wink and a smug smile plastered on her face.
I turned back to slam my door, but it stopped mid swing. Strong arms wound around me from behind as his breath tickled my ear.
“You know me better than that. She just wanted a few pointers on how to handle an attack. Underneath it all, she’s as scared as everyone else. Was I supposed to refuse to help and let her fend for herself?”
Of course, I wouldn’t want him to deny anyone help, but I hated that she took advantage of the situation to flirt. In his bedroom. I twisted my head toward him, and our noses brushed. Every fiber of my being believed him, but jealousy still rippled through me, forcing my lips into a pout.
“Did you touch her?”
Before I knew what was happening, he picked me up and dashed into his room. He backed me against the wall.
“You mean like this?” he asked as he skimmed his fingertips up the sides of my thighs to my waist, where they curled around my ribs. My breathing sped up, but his question replenished my fury.
“You better not have touched her like this,” I rasped.
“What would you do if I had?” he asked, a grin teasing his lips.
I didn’t find any of this funny. “Think of the worst thing that could happen to your man bits. It would go way beyond whatever you’re picturing. Then, I’d kill you.”
He laughed but I saw him cringe a little. “That is exactly why I would never even consider touching another woman like this,” he admitted, bringing his hand up to knot in my hair.
His mouth hovered over mine, and my eyes drifted closed in anticipation. His lips brushed mine as he spoke. “You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous. You know that?”
My eyelids sprung open. “Cute? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, in a slightly psychotic, homicidal kind of way,” he teased.
“Shut up,” I replied, shoving him away playfully. He chuckled. “If I’m crazy, it’s because you make me crazy,” I countered.
The big boyish grin never left his face when he approached. He pinched my chin between his thumb and index finger to tilt my head up, and I met his gaze.
“Probably not nearly as crazy as you make me, but I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
We stared at each other too long for it to be considered anything other than intimate. Squashing any inappropriate thoughts, we both backed away to a safe distance. His features sobered when he looked back at me.
“You couldn’t sleep.” It wasn’t a question.
I shook my head.
“I heard you tossing and turning and some strange inhaling and exhaling.” His eyebrows pinched together in confusion as he recalled the sounds he must have heard.
I laughed, remembering the different breathing techniques I tried. “Yeah, I’m not the best at meditation.”
He smiled but didn’t comment. When the conversation died, my thoughts ran straight back to the battle.
“Could I… I mean, do you think I could…” I didn’t even know how to ask my question, but he understood what I needed.
He grabbed my hand and towed me toward his bed. He pulled back the comforter and guided me down, curling up behind me. He wrapped an arm around me and held me tightly against him, his chest to my back. Basking in the warm hardness of muscles, I snuggled into him. He kissed the top of my head.
“Just so you know, I have every intention of sleeping. No funny business.”
The rumbling of his laugh sent vibrations through my back. “Well, there goes my plan to take advantage of you.”
“Ha. Ha.”
“Go to sleep, Lucy,” he said, his breath on my neck.
“So bossy,” I whispered.
“Mmhmm. Goodnight.” He had to get the last word. Minutes later, Gavin grew still and I assumed he had fallen asleep.
When the stark quiet sank its hooks into the isolated space, my thoughts grew louder. Lately, the moments alone with myself were weighing heavier.
Cocking my head to the side, I peered over at Gavin’s relaxed features. Allison was right about one thing. The man was handsome, and then some.
“Gavin,” I whispered softly. I didn’t want to disturb him if he was sleeping.
The slightest movement at the corner of his mouth was my only indication he heard me. Then, he made the most masculine sound from deep in his chest before a contented breath escaped him.
“Yeah, gorgeous?” he asked. His hand snuck under the hem of my shirt and rested against my bare skin.
My heart stopped. The compliment slipped out of him so freely, there was no doubting its sincerity. It sounded so perfectly right the way he said it. I stuttered in an effort to get my next sentence out.
“Were you sleeping?”
“No. Your internal chaos is keeping me up. I can’t sleep when I know you’re stressed. What’s going on?” he pressed. His soothing voice repaired parts of my broken soul.
Of all the thoughts rolling through my head, the one that slipped out was, “Why is it impossible to be both Light and Dark?”
He sighed. “I don’t really have a good answer to that question, but it’s almost like the two bloodlines have it ingrained in them to hate each other. Humans who are Shadow-marked typically are cruel and naturally repel those marked for the Light. My parents somehow saw past their differences and fell in love. Even so, the bloodlines shouldn’t be able to mix. I shouldn’t have been conceived.”
“Yet somehow, you managed to survive both powerful opposing lines,” I mused reverently.
His thumb smoothed slow circles over my stomach as he continued. “It hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park living with both sides. Until you came along, I had almost given up on the Day-marked part of me. I went so many years feeding off humans.”
“Did you kill anyone?” It occurred to me that I never actually asked him this before.
“No. I don’t think I would have a soul right now if I had. But I came close too many times. Part of me always wanted to let go. I wanted to kill, but every time I fed, my connection with the victim’s blood allowed me to access their fear. I felt so guilty I never could finish it.”
“Then I came along?” I rolled onto my back to see his face better. His hand stayed on my stomach as he leaned over me.
He smiled as his eyes grew distant in a memory. “Yeah. At first I told myself it was sheer curiosity for your bloodline and knowing there was someone else out there with the Light li
ne. But after hearing what your mother had to say, I knew you were something special.”
“So you really do have a soul… because of me?” I asked skeptically.
He returned to the present and gazed at me with warmth. “Yes.”
“And you don’t need to drink blood anymore because you have a soul?”
“When you regain control of your soul, you get back your free will. Basically, you have no more ties to the cursed blood. The strong, vampiric urges are still there, but you’re free from the monster inside who demands blood and death. In a way, it makes you an immortal human, rather than a vampire.”
“So can you eat food?” I really missed my junk food some days.
He grinned proudly. “Yep. I don’t need it, but I can eat just for the satisfaction of tasting it.”
“Lucky,” I whined, seriously missing the sugar rush from an ice cold Mountain Dew. “What’s your favorite food?”
“Hmmm. I’d have to say a nice, homemade chicken pot pie,” he replied, licking his lips.
“Really, I’d have pegged you for a steak and potatoes kind of guy. What’s your favorite drink?”
“Hands down, a good beer.”
I laughed remembering the story he told me. “I want to go to Oktoberfest with you someday and have a beer.”
“Oh, yeah?” he said, his smile brightening.
“I won’t ditch you for another guy either.” He chuckled, but I continued. “If you leave me for another girl, though, I can promise you will end up with a permanent scar above the other eye.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I’ve never gotten this close to a woman before. I never let anyone in, not even in my human life,” he admitted.
“You scared?” I teased.
He snorted. “Of women? No. Bored maybe, but not scared. Of you? I’m petrified.”
“Afraid I’ll ruin you?”
“I think it’s a little late to worry about that.” His hand glided off my stomach to where my hand lay, and his fingers laced through mine.
I held our hands up, observing them. “Is this all because of your promise to keep me safe?” I asked, nodding to our joined hands.
He cracked a wide grin. “It started out as an obligation to protect you, but this,” he said, gesturing toward our entwined fingers, “is definitely not part of any promise I made to your mother. This is all you, and how happy you make me. My need to protect you is nothing compared to my need to be close to you.”
I bit my lip to hold back the goofy grin trying to split my face. He bent down to press a tender kiss to my lips but pulled away before it had a chance to get carried away.
When he looked into my eyes, I saw his love for me shining through the depths of those aqua pools. “I know you’re worried about tonight, but I’m going to be right there with you. I won’t leave you.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Besides, you are the only one who can kill me, since you are my sole purpose for living.”
He’s alluded to this before, but I needed more clarification now. “What does that mean?”
“If I lost my reason for being,” he looked at me pointedly, “I would cease to exist.”
“So if I die, you die?”
“Yes, or if you decided you didn’t need me around anymore, you could kill me. I read a lot about it, and I don’t know how much truth there is to this theory. I haven’t exactly tested it, so who knows if it’s real or not.”
“You can’t be killed,” I marveled.
“Well, I’m pretty sure the Sword of Michael could do the trick, but like I said, it’s a theory that’s never been tested.”
In other words, ‘don’t get your hopes up.’
But still, it did give me hope. Hearing his reassurance relaxed me. He turned me so that I was tucked up against him once more.
His warm rays of tenderness shone on the darkest parts of my armored heart, igniting embers that have been smothered and cold for most of my lonely existence. I felt secure and safe, like nothing bad could reach me or would even dare to come near with Gavin by my side. To be in his arms, surrounded by his warmth and compassion, was like having a real home with a nice big bed to curl up in on a stormy night. Or morning, considering the current hour.
There may have been a lot of bad shit happening in the world outside, but with Gavin, I was safe. I drifted into unconsciousness with one thought on my mind.
Home.
That was our word. He was mine and I was his. What would I ever do without him? That was the one question I was determined to never have answered.
19
I woke to a creaking floorboard down the hall and was startled when Gavin’s arm wrapped across my stomach protectively, his hand holding me back at my hip. He was already in an upright position, watching the door like the entire assassin army was about to burst through it.
I’d like to think we would have heard something if they had managed to sneak in and kill all the humans before coming for us, but I wasn’t about to take any chances. When Gavin crept to the door, I followed.
He shot me an exasperated glare but turned back to the threat. When I pushed my hearing out further, I could pinpoint a single heartbeat drawing nearer and a not so stealthy set of footsteps clumsy enough to be human.
Gavin heard it too, because I witnessed the tension leave his rigid frame as he reached for the door handle. When he pulled it open, he stepped into the hallway, still blocking me from view of whoever deemed it safe to travel into vampire territory.
I heard a soft gasp, and a female voice say, “Oh, Gavin. You scared me.”
I imagined her hand coming to her chest to emphasize the innocent act she thought she pulled off so well. Two visits in one night. The girl was getting desperate.
“Allison, what are you doing here this late?” His voice wasn’t unfriendly, but it was harder than usual with a hint of warning. I wasn’t sure if the warning was for me or for her.
“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t have a good reason for coming here. I just woke up in the middle of the night, and something drew me here, like I’m safer or something with you around.” Her tone was baby soft now.
I rolled my eyes. If he actually bought this, I was going to beat his head against the wall.
“You shouldn’t be over here. Whatever comfort you’re seeking, you won’t find it on this side of the house,” he explained.
“But you’re staying over here. How did you get stuck in the room next to the monster, anyway?”
Gavin was standing half in and half out of the doorway. I was ready to push him aside when he held up a hand to ward me off.
“She’s not a monster, and I am here because this is my house and I chose this room.”
She sucked in a stunted breath and continued to ignore the sharpness in his voice as she persisted using her syrupy tone. “So the rumors are true? You are so young to be so successful. I’d love to here more about you. I know it’s late and all, but it would help calm me down enough to sleep if we could talk for a bit?” she suggested.
I held back my gagging reflex in order to hear what he might say.
“That’s not going to happen. You need to go back to your room.”
“I promise I’m a really good listener, though. I’m good at a lot of things.” And there was the suggestive flirtation I expected.
I really was working on my maturity, but sometimes doing the adult thing was just boring. I slid my hands over Gavin’s ribs from behind and ran them across his abs, feeling him tense for what was to come.
“Darling, are you coming back to bed?” I asked, mimicking Allison’s innocence. My voice couldn’t quite convey it. Even Gavin flinched at the warning it held. Oops.
When I peeked around Gavin’s still form, Allison froze, horror stricken and jaw dropped. Maturity was definitely overrated in some cases. Her face was priceless. It took her several tries of opening and closing her mouth before any words surfaced.
“But… I… how… her? Seriously?”
“Go back to your room, Allison.” Gavin’s words carried that authoritative and infuriating tone he usually reserved for lecturing me. It was weird hearing it used on someone else, and it didn’t carry the same underlying teasing to it.
“Thanks for stopping by. Have a good night,” I added.
She recoiled and whirled on her heel, stomping off down the hall.
I turned back for the bed as Gavin closed the door and grabbed my wrist, spinning me. He glared at me hard like he was about to rain down his wiser than thou spiel on me. I crossed my arms and glared right back.
“Don’t even. Yes, that was totally necessary. Now, get back in bed.”
He eyed me up and down, trying to hold onto the toughness, but it slowly slipped away to reveal a sexy smile. He backed me toward the bed until my legs hit the mattress. We shared another heated look before climbing back in bed and nestling into our cocoon.
“Do you get a lot of late night visitors, Mr. West?” I teased.
“Go to sleep, Ms. Masters,” he returned.
I really tried to do just that, but I was now stuck on the thought of Gavin’s sex life. It felt like tiny dull needles using my heart as a pincushion. A total of 71 seconds passed before I opened my mouth.
“How many women have you been with?” I cringed, kicking myself mentally. I was sure I had turned a nice shade of red. He smiled knowingly.
“Are you sure you want to know?” he asked wickedly.
My jaw dropped. No. “Yes.”
Idiot. Why torture yourself?
“Well, believe it or not, when I was human, I assumed I was God’s gift to women.”
I snorted, but grew a little sick to my stomach the more he said.
“And then, I became a vampire and did pretty much whatever I wanted, whatever felt good.” He noticed my face paling and quickly added, “But, Lucy, that was all before I had a soul, and before I had any sort of meaning in my life. Those women only lasted a night. I never found anything in them worth keeping.”
Admitting he used to be a ladies man with tons of experience in that department so did not ease my mind.
“Lucy,” he said, his fingertips touching my chin, gently guiding it up so my eyes met his. “For the first time in my life, I found something I want to hold onto forever. No matter what I had in my life before, you are a first for me in every way. You put the meaning into everything I do.” He paused in reflection and then added, “You’re both.”
Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) Page 27