“No, to live this way we must begin the day right and be in the right frame of mind. And, perhaps most importantly, we must realize that it cannot be done alone. There are too many temptations in life, and it is too easy to make wrong choices. We must pray and ask for God’s help and strength. In fact, I read the Bible daily. All the values and principles for successful living are contained therein.
“Before Mr. Engelmann taught me to pray and meditate on my life, the thoughts I had were the same day-to-day. The thoughts I have today would simply be carried over to tomorrow. Nothing new entered my mind. I wasn’t aware of my life and I wasn’t growing as a person. I was stuck. I repeated self-defeating actions, the same behaviours and thoughts.
“Mr. Engelmann always told me that we are what we think. If we complain and think negatively, keeping the past alive by worrying about it, we get more and more of the same old negative thoughts. Mr. Engelmann taught me to be grateful and think positively, to write down everything I am thankful for and thank the Lord each day for all the blessings I’ve been given.
“It’s funny, though. The more I’m thankful for, the more I seem to get. The list just keeps getting longer and longer. I have great parents and teachers. I’m grateful for my school and my role as president. I am also thankful for my friends, car, education, and on and on. And I ask God to help and to guide me in all my words, thoughts and actions.
“To live this way is more than a one-time decision. It’s an ongoing process. Every day, we have to choose between right and wrong. We have to meet each new challenge head-on. As we form the habit of daily meditating, praying and living a life based on sound values, we will be richly rewarded. Since I have been doing this, I have never been happier or more at peace. I love life, have an abundance of energy and look forward to each new day.
“I must admit, however, that many a day I fail and still do. Fortunately, I have a good teacher. Mr. Engelmann never dwells on my shortcomings or setbacks, my failures. He always sees what I really am, a child of God, filled with beauty, talent and abilities. Mr. Engelmann always encourages me and says that each new moment in our lives is an opportunity to begin again, to start afresh and to decide to do what is good. Eventually we will grow and succeed. With each little victory we become stronger and better people.
“Mr. Engelmann likens growing in values to a child learning to walk. A child never sees himself as a failure or gets upset or discouraged when he falls. The child simply gets up again and again, living fully in the present moment, staying fully focused and determined until eventually—he walks. With each attempt the child reinforces his goal, feels more and more confident and is encouraged by his parents. He not only walks, but soon runs in free abandon. And so it is with us. Each time we choose to forgive or to be kind, just, honest, loving—and receive help and encouragement from God—we become who we are supposed to be: loving people of God, here to serve our fellow man.”
Henry talked about how Mr. Engelmann’s daily life had exemplified integrity. How he implemented honesty in his business. How he served his customers, not just by serving them their groceries but also serving their hearts. He loved unconditionally. If he had not seen Mr. Engelmann in action, living a life of integrity, he knew Mr. Engelmann’s lessons on the old, grey crate wouldn’t have impressed him as they had. But seeing it daily and consistently was what challenged and motivated him. He wanted to become like Mr. Engelmann.
“Seeing Mr. Engelmann live this way made me realize how important it is to be a role model. Walking the talk is very important. I don’t think half of us know the tremendous influence we have over each other. Just like I mentioned earlier, my friend Gary has also been a strong influence on me. Our example may very well lead another person away from making the wrong choice. People who live in the present, the now of life, mainly because they have chosen to live by sound values and principles, stand out as a beacon, leading the path for all to see.
Mr. Engelmann stressed over and over to me that we need people of integrity, strength and example, but to be so, we must begin, and once we do, we feel so good inside it just keeps us motivated to go on. We are happiest when we are growing and doing good and serving others.”
Henry talked about other people who lived lives of integrity and service to others. He talked about Ron Schmidt and how Ron had helped to decorate Mr. Engelmann’s store at Christmastime and what a good attitude he had. They laughed when Henry told them that regardless of what he had asked Ron to do, his reply was always, “No problem, Hank.”
Henry talked about Irvin Goronic and the story he had told at Mrs. Engelmann’s funeral. How he had developed integrity as a result of Mrs. Engelmann’s influence and become an executive at the age of twenty-four, the youngest man to be promoted to such a trustworthy position in his firm.
And finally, Henry talked about Mrs. Engelmann and how she had lived a life based on love. How she was the embodiment of everything he had said. How she was love in action. How she reached out to others. How she lived a life of service.
Henry explained how the Engelmanns’ grocery store was not only there for making money, but for serving and helping their fellow man. How St. Mary’s Church, perhaps the largest in the city, was packed for her funeral—a clear testimony to the number of lives she had affected.
“When people come to the end of their lives, they will be judged by who they were and how well they have lived. People won’t be remembered and revered for their material success, but by the amount of love they have shown and given to others. ‘Acts and words that touch the heart are never forgotten’ was a phrase that both Mr. and Mrs. Engelmann often quoted.
“Before I conclude my talk to you this afternoon, there is one value or principle in life I would like to talk about because it is so important and seems to affect so many people’s lives and relationships, and that is forgiveness.” Henry paused for a moment, allowing everyone to refocus and be attentive.
“How many of us have not forgiven a friend, our mother or father, a brother or sister, or a teacher?” Henry paused. “Unforgiveness holds both the person who was hurt, as well as the person who caused the hurt, in bondage. On the day Anna Engelmann was buried, my father introduced me to a man whose tombstone asked for eternal forgiveness. This man was caught in the bondage of unforgiveness even into death. What a horrible existence he must have had; how he must have suffered.
“It is critical to have peace within a family.” And here Henry used as an example, the issue of peace between his father and him. He didn’t reveal the circumstances but rather described the joy of forgiving. Henry went on to explain how he had to learn to separate the undesirable behaviour or actions of others from the actual person.
“Everyone—parents, teachers, religious leaders—has weaknesses and frailties. We have to forgive, accept and move forward to be as fully alive as possible. If we don’t, if we harbour unforgiveness, we feed the vicious cycle of hurt, resentment and vengeance, effectively cheating ourselves out of life. It’s amazing how a forgiving attitude can melt away the hurt or anger—and in the blink of an eye, at times, those who have hurt us become our greatest friends. The bondage that chained both us and the one who hurt us is released, and the joy of forgiveness brings us happiness and peace. We can see and feel the difference in ourselves and those around us. We are free to live and to love.”
As Henry paused for a moment, his eyes rested on his mother and for a brief instant their gazes locked. But in that split second, Henry knew she understood the message was as much for her as it was for his fellow students. A prayer that had been in Henry’s heart for so long was sent and received.
“It may seem strange to hear these things coming from someone so young, but is it really that strange? These are things I have learned and put into practice in my life. Any one of you could, too, and perhaps many of you already have. Why does learning how to live for the better have to wait until we are old or ready to die? Isn’t now
the time to learn the best way to live? If we don’t, we will stumble through life, learning the hard way, and perhaps being pretty miserable a lot of the time. Mr. Engelmann has always said to me that knowledge, a university degree, a big house and so on isn’t really all that helpful if we don’t know how to live right and are not happy.”
Henry paused again. “To end my talk today, I want to remind you of what our English teacher, Mr. Derkatch, has always stressed. When you give a presentation, it’s important to summarize what you said at the end. When I first wrote this speech, I listed all the points I felt I should go over again. However, when I looked up the definition of ‘integrity’ in the dictionary, I read: ‘undivided in purpose.’ It emphasized wholeness, being true, authentic, at one with yourself. The thought immediately came to me that a visual demonstration of a man or woman, being a person of integrity, living by sound values and principles, would be far more effective.”
Henry held up a sheet of paper, white on one side and black on the other. “Suppose this represents you now as a whole person. And as you know, we are daily faced with making choices. For example, should I tell the truth in this instance or should I lie? Should I take something that doesn’t belong to me or not? Should I hold a grudge or be forgiving? Well, each time we make a choice, we can either remain a whole person and undivided, or we can start to break down. For example, if we lie, it affects our character.”
As Henry said this, he made a long tear down one edge of the paper, and as it fell forward, the black side was exposed, indicating a black mark against them.
Henry heard a murmur in the audience.
“If we steal, it further affects our character.” Henry made another tear. “Unforgiving, mean, dishonest.” Henry made another tear and then another.
Soon all that was left of the paper was a thin strip in the middle, showing all the black marks against them.
Henry then picked up another whole sheet of white paper and held them side by side.
After a brief moment Henry asked, “What kind of person do you want to be, a person of integrity or the other? Who do you think lives a better life? Who has fewer worries? Who is more free? Who lives more in the present? Who is more aware of life? In the end, who is more able to serve and fulfill the purpose for which we are here on earth?”
Once again Henry paused, allowing everyone to answer those questions themselves. It was so quiet in the auditorium that Henry was sure he could hear the proverbial pin drop, and he knew the demonstration had hit home. He knew his classmates understood what he was talking about. They could see it, and Henry sensed they now believed it. Somehow what he had said had made a significant change in at least some of the students in the same way Mr. Engelmann’s words and teachings had changed him.
“I often remember a line we studied in English from Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet. I think it is fitting here: ‘To be, or not to be: that is the question.’ And this is the thought I leave with you today. The choice is yours. Each day when you get up, you can choose to serve others or yourself, to build or destroy, to be happy or sad, kind or unkind, grateful or complaining, forgiving or unforgiving, to be truthful or untruthful, and on and on. Yes, to be or not to be…to be a person of integrity or not is the daily question we must ask ourselves without fail.”
Henry concluded by wishing the students well and, turning to Mr. Engelmann in the front row, Henry publicly thanked him for the time he had spent with him and the lessons of life he imparted by his example and teachings.
When Henry finished speaking, an uneasy silence hung in the air. As he gathered his notes and turned to leave the podium, a few people clapped, then a few more and then, like dominoes falling in rapid succession, the clapping erupted into a thunderous applause. People stood, smiling, laughing, whistling.
Henry was shocked by the strength and length of the ovation. His eyes turned to his parents in the front row. They were beaming and clapping. He focused on Mr. Engelmann, still in his chair, not applauding but proudly watching his pupil. That day his protégé had demonstrated that he had gone beyond what he had been taught in Mr. Engelmann’s school of life.
As their gazes connected, Mr. Engelmann said, “Well done, my son,” and though Henry was too far away to hear with his ears, he heard it in his heart.
As Henry returned to his seat, the ovation grew even louder.
After five minutes, the principal rose, walked to the podium and raised his hands, signaling the audience to sit down. When the clapping finally subsided, he turned towards Henry.
“That’s quite a demonstration, a very vivid example of the kind of person we should be. It leads me to remark on another point you made, Henry, that we must be a model to others, an example of how life can and should be lived. That’s what you have done and that is why your fellow students and teachers have given you the award you received today.”
Then he turned his attention back towards the audience and said, “Like Henry, I would ask all of you, today, to take up the challenge too, and follow this lead. You have certainly motivated me, Henry, and, I’m sure, all those present here today as well. Thank you very much.”
Mr. Mitchell walked towards him, hand extended. Henry got up and met him halfway and as they shook hands, the people in the audience stood up and gave another sustained and enthusiastic ovation. Henry felt his face flush like he was going to burst any second. He didn’t remember returning to his seat.
At the conclusion of the exercises, many students and teachers thanked Henry for his message, further reinforcing his thought that he should pursue a career in teaching instead of business administration. He knew it was where his heart was leading him. He was a people person and while he loved business, perhaps it was the people he dealt with and served in Mr. Engelmann’s store that he loved more. It was then that Henry decided to change faculties and enter the College of Education.
As he looked around for his parents and Mr. Engelmann, Eddy Zeigler, having until now waited in the wings to talk to him, found a path through the crowd.
“Hey, Hank, that was pretty cool. You’re all right, you know?”
As they shook hands, Eddy looked down at his feet, for a moment seeming to lose his air of self-confidence, then he slowly raised his head until his gaze locked firmly onto Henry’s.
“You know, Hank, it’s always sort of bothered me what some of the guys and I did to you and that blond chick back in Grade 9. I just want you to know…well, it was a stupid thing to do, you know?” Eddy shifted his weight from foot to foot, then back and forth on his heels. “The guys had a few beers. You know what it’s like.”
“I understand, Eddy.”
“Well, Hank, I’m sorry for what we did…for what I did. I’m not very proud of it and, whether you know it or not, you’ve helped me in many ways these past three years. Thanks, buddy.”
Joy and peace swept through Henry as he realized that his message had registered with Eddy too. Although he had forgiven Eddy back in Grade 9, what he’d said now went straight to Henry’s heart, freeing him from bondage completely. Henry knew Eddy felt it, too. Eddy tightened his grasp on Henry’s hand and tears formed in Eddy’s eyes. Henry put his free hand on Eddy’s shoulder and patted it.
“Thanks a lot, Eddy. That means a lot to me.”
“Whatever happened to that blond chick, anyway, Hank? I remember you telling me she left out of the blue. Did you ever hear from her and find out if she was…well, you know?”
“Yeah, I know, Eddy. No, I never heard from her again.”
“Tough break. You were pretty sweet on her.”
“I liked her a lot. I wrote to her, but she never answered any of my letters.”
Eddy squinted at Henry, studying him for a long moment and said. “Well, that brunette babe you’ve been hanging out with lately seems like quite the damsel. If I were you, I wouldn’t hesitate to nab her while you can.”
Henry gri
nned. “You’re right, Eddy—and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”
Eddy started to say something else, but Mr. Dornan came from behind and swung Henry around.
“Mr. Pederson, that was some speech!”
“Thanks, Mr. Dornan. Excuse me for a second.” Henry quickly turned back to Eddy, but he was walking away.
“See you, Eddy!” he called.
Eddy turned, gave him a thumbs up and kept on walking. Henry wanted to say more but turned back to Mr. Dornan. By now several other people had approached him too.
As Henry, his mother and father, and Mr. Engelmann headed out to the car, his father clapped his shoulder.
“That was very well done, son. I can’t get over how much you’ve learned from Mr. Engelmann.”
“Yes, I’m very impressed as well,” his mother said. “Guess I’ll have to start taking lessons out back on the old crate from you, too, Mr. Engelmann,” she quipped.
Mr. Engelmann put his arm on Henry’s shoulder and patted it as they walked back to the car. He didn’t say anything. Didn’t have to say anything for Henry to understand his feelings.
Finally, after they’d finished dinner and dessert back at the Pedersons, Mr. Engelmann spoke.
“I knew when I hired you, Henry, you were a special young man. The way you worked and took charge was a godsend. Anna and I were in trouble financially and physically. Anna was very sick. I was tired and couldn’t look after the store and Anna both. Bills were piling up, and we were losing customers because we lacked product, didn’t have the time to restock the shelves, and so on. When we hired you, all that changed.
“You were like a breath of fresh air. You worked and thought of ways to improve the store as if it were your own, and brought great joy and happiness to Anna and me. Six months after we hired you, we were out of debt, our customers had returned and the store was being fixed up.” David glanced at Henry’s dad and added, “Then you helped out, too, Bill.”
Another Angel of Love Page 33