“Lost Picman’s Mine,” finished RatOx with a grin.
“Gaaaa!”
“Met an innkeeper out east of Old Jute out on the shore of the Great Salty River. Said he’d been there.”
“How does that even come up in conversation?” Drimblerod asked, unconvinced. “It seems pretty far-fetched.”
“Hey now,” said the voice, “I already passed the information; you can’t get stingy with the coin now!”
Drimblerod flipped the coin into the funnel. It clattered out of sight. “Fine, fine. Thanks for the information.”
“What’s the name of the inn?” RatOx asked.
The trio sat quietly on the edge of the bridge, with only the sound of the burbling water passing under it breaking the silence.
“Most annoying,” remarked Grimbledung. He waggled his ears. “Well, let’s get across the bridge...on our chariot!”
“Hey!” The voice exclaimed. “That cost extra!”
RatOx bounded to a gallop and dashed across the bridge. “Aaaand they’re off!”
“Oooh! You’ll pay extra next time. Mark my words!” The voice threatened.
“Grimbledung,” corrected Grimbledung. “Grimbledung Sixtoes esquire. Who’s Mark?”
“Just you wait!” The voice screeched. “I’ll get you Grimbledung and your little Ox too!”
“If I had a copper every time someone threatened you...” RatOx said as the wagon made it to the other side of the bridge. “I’d hire someone to pull me around in a wagon.”
“You know, maybe you should not drop your name all the time,” offered Drimblerod. “That causes most of your problems you know.”
“Really?”
Drimblerod nodded. “Well, if you remained anonymous, all the people you tend to rub the wrong way wouldn’t be able to track you down and cause you issues later on.”
“Isn’t conflict the spice of life?”
Drimblerod shook his head. “No. It is not.”
Grimbledung waved his hand dismissively. “Well, I’m proud of my name, just so you know.”
“It’s becoming infamous, just you so you know,” said RatOx.
“It just causes you trouble is all I’m saying. Maybe you should not refer to your name as often. Just to cause us less problems.”
“Well, I can give it a try, but I don’t see how folk knowing my name causes me troubles.”
“And while you’re at it, stop telling folk where you live,” suggested RatOx. He panted as he moved to a walk. “I need to be a Shambler again; these Ox things aren’t built for running.”
Grimbledung nodded. “Well, I’ll see what I can do.”
“About being more discrete or about me being a Shambler?”
“A little of both I suppose.” Grimbledung frowned. “Honestly, when was the last time having someone know my name caused me any sort of grief?”
“Are you kidding? They could write entire books about all that grief.”[6] Drimblerod shook his head. “Why don’t we just keep a low profile for a little while? Try and have some quiet, uneventful days.”
“That wouldn’t make an interesting book,” said Grimbledung.
“Well, I’m sure other stuff would act as filler.” Said RatOx. “Subplots and all that. Tying up or creating loose ends. Folks love that kind of stuff.”
Grimbledung rolled to the back of the wagon and sat with his feet hanging off the back. “I can’t imagine.”
Chapter 8
Assassin’s CREED
Cherí swung her feet off the bed and stretched. A movement off to her side caught her eye. She leapt for the dresser next to the wall for cover. When she slid against it, she pulled a long thin dagger from a sheath that was fastened to the back of the dresser. Just in case.
“You’re getting rusty, Cherí,” said a voice. “It’s embarrassing.”
Cherí flipped the dagger in her hand, catching it by the point. She mentally calculated the distance to the chair. As she leaned out, she drew her hand back, ready to throw it at whoever had snuck into her room. An Elf was sitting on the overstuffed chair, his brown clothes had blue flowers on them, blending in with the chair perfectly. Had his head been covered, he would have been easily missed. “Please put down the knife,” he said. “With how rusty you are, you might damage this comfy chair.” He crossed his legs as a smile crept across his face. “I’ve really gotten to like this chair.”
“L’owen Brushwood,” said Cherí as she stood. She still hadn’t put down the dagger- she let it drop to her side where she could easily execute an underhanded flip with it. “What brings you to Julesville? Business or pleasure?”
L’owen put his hands on the arms of the chair so they were in plain sight. “Pleasure, of course.” He smiled again. “When I heard that Cherí Belladonna, Master Assassin and former pupil of mine was getting married, I just had to come by.”
“And a note before-hand was too hard to do?” Cherí put the dagger on the dresser. Had he wanted her dead, he could have done it as she leapt for the dresser, or while she was asleep. Or when he was in her house earlier, finding out what color her furniture was so he could purchase clothes made of the same fabric. Or while he had sat in the chair numerous times, deciding that he liked it.
L’owen stood, arms outstretched. “It is so very good to see you.”
Cherí moved close and hugged her former instructor. “And you.” She looked up. “You didn’t have to come all this way you know. A letter would have been plenty.” She smiled. “But it’s really nice you came.”
L’owen pushed her away, holding her at arm’s length. “For my best student? A note would not do justice.” He raised an eyebrow. “Am I… invited to the ceremony?”
“Well, I was going to send word out over the net. It’s not for a couple of months still.”
L’owen let go of Cherí. “Well, I’ll make sure I’m in the area so I can be there.” He frowned. “So who is this lucky male? Will I approve of this fellow, do you think?”
Colossus burst into the room, sword in hand.
In an instant, L’owen dropped to a crouch, two long black blades appearing in his hands as he snatched them from two back sheaths.
“Wait, wait!” Cherí stepped between the two and put out her arms. “Just hold on!”
Colossus looked from the Elf to Cherí and back.
“L’owen, this is Colossus Basher, my fiancé. Colossus, this is L’owen Brushwood, my former master.”
Colossus lowered his sword. “I heard voices and was…concerned.”
“Oh really?” Cherí raised an eyebrow. “Concerned or jealous?”
Colossus crossed his arms. “Concerned, dearest.” Now he raised an eyebrow. “Of the male voice I heard coming from my fiancé’s room. Early in the morning.”
L’owen laughed. “I approve of him already, this Gnome that I have never met.” He put out his hand. Colossus hadn’t seen it happen, but the Elf had managed to sheath both of his blades. “It is indeed a pleasure to meet you, Colossus Basher of the Clan of the Black Hand, son of Precipitous.”
Colossus sheathed his sword and took the Elf’s hand. “I see I am completely unknown to you. It is a pleasure to meet you as well, L’owen.” He smirked. “So is this visit business, pleasure…” He raised an eyebrow. “Or recruiting?”
“He came because he heard of the ceremony.”
L’owen held up a finger. “And perhaps just a little bit of business.”
“So you are here to take Cherí away? How about we discuss it over breakfast? I have fried eggs done and coffee that should be boiling by now.”
L’owen turned his head to the side. “Ahhh…Yes. It just started.”
Colossus smirked. “After you, Sir,” he gestured to the Elf.
The Elf gave a nod as he moved past the pair. “So the kitchen’s this way then?” He asked innocently.
“As if you didn’t already know,” said Cherí.
“What?”
Cherí put her arm around Colossus. “He’s wearing
clothes that match our chairs, dearest. He knows exactly where the kitchen is.”
Colossus shook his head. “Assassins.”
“Yes? You called?” L’owen pointed when he got to the end of the hallway. “Left or right?”
“Just get the cups while I’ll get the eggs and bread,” Colossus said with a headshake.
“That reminds me; you’re low on butter,” remarked L’owen.
“I suppose I’ll make a list if you haven’t already,” said Cherí.
As they entered the kitchen, L’owen pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. He handed it to her sheepishly. “And bacon and flour.”
“I see.” Cherí took the paper. “I’ll make sure we’re stocked up before you drop by again.”
L’owen moved to a cupboard, opened it and took out three large cups.
“You know, you could at least pretend you don’t know where things are,” said Colossus as he opened the breadbox and took out some rolls.
L’owen moved the cups to saucers and deftly carried all three to the table. “Sorry about that. Old habit.”
Cherí took a jug of milk from the ice box. “Uh huh. So how long have you been in town?”
“I arrived earlier.” L’owen answered noncommittally. He moved to a drawer and took out spoons and knives.
Colossus stirred the eggs to scramble them, then caught himself. “Oh, sorry; are eggs alright?”
L’owen nodded. “Yes, thanks for asking. I do eat meat on occasion.”
“Plates?” Colossus said to Cherí as he took the skillet off the stove.
“On their way.”
“So what sort of business?” Colossus asked L’owen.
“Well, I heard on the Assassin’s CREED that Cherí was looking for information.”
“Assassin’s Creed? You mean like your mission statement?” Colossus ladled eggs onto the plates Cheri had put down. He raised the spatula and held it over his heart. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good and promise to only kill people whom I am paid to, unless otherwise required for my own personal satisfaction.”
L’owen took the coffee pot. “CREED as in Collaboration REquest and Enemy Discussion network.” He poured coffee into the cups, leaving room for cream in Colossus’ and his own cup. He filled Cherí’s to the top. “Your lovely fiancé put the word out that she needed some help.”
Colossus looked at Cherí. “With the wedding?”
Cherí startled. “Oh!” She patted Colossus’ hand. “I had forgotten I had put out a request for information on Liverioso.” She beamed. “You have something from my are eff eye?”
“You were always such a romantic.” L’owen put the coffee pot on the stove to stay warm then moved to the table. “Make sure you are up for that, Colossus.”
Colossus smirked. “I am indeed.”
L’owen raised an eyebrow. “A romantic Halfling?”
“He even recites poetry.” Cherí sipped her coffee.
L’owen patted Colossus’ hand as well. “Well, your secret is safe with me.”
“What were you doing for that buffoon, Liverioso?” Colossus looked down and realized that L’owen knew he took milk in his coffee. He shook his head as he poured some in.
“Well, it’s a tragic tale of two families that ordered their youngsters to never see each other again.” Cherí picked up her fork. She pointed it at L’owen. “Definitely not very romantical.”
Colossus shook his head. “Forbidding two young kids in love from ever seeing each other. Haven’t these parents ever read any classic literature? That never works out well. Ever.”
L’owen chuckled. “I see you two are a smart match. No; it did not work out well and our two lovers lost contact with each other.”
“Until now!” Cherí said around a mouthful of eggs.
“Until now,” agreed L’owen. He picked up his fork. “Seems Liverioso and Sage are actually living close to each other and don’t even realize it.”
“She’s in town?” Colossus gaped. “What’s she doing?”
L’owen shook his head. “That would indeed be ironic. No, she’s not in this town but she is running a novelty shop of all things.”
“Did you hear that, Cherí? The former girlfriend of a future magician runs a novelty shop.”
“It is an unusual coincidence,” said L’owen.
“It was meant to be.” Cherí and Colossus said at the same time.
L’owen raised an eyebrow at the Halfling.
“That’s my Colossus.” Cherí leaned over and kissed him. She looked at L’owen. “So, where is Sage?”
The Elf started to point across the room, looked around to get his bearings, then adjusted where he was pointing, “She’s over in Cuticle not a week’s ride from here.”
“Well, I’m sure Liverioso will be excited when… wait, where?”
“Cuticle.”
“How did the Cartographer’s Guild ever approve of a name like Cuticle?”
“Well, in their defense, they aren’t on any official maps.”
Colossus chuckled. “That’d do it.”
“And they are at the base of the Devil’s Thumb.”
“Now you’re just making things up.”
“Assassin’s honor!” L’owen raised his left hand. “Honest, Colossus; it’s this plateau that sticks up like a giant black thumb in the mountains south of the Riatoh Bronze Mines.”
“Cuticle.”
L’owen shrugged. “That’s where she is. Running her shop.”
“Oooh, I can’t wait to tell him.” Cherí clapped.
Colossus tilted his head toward Cherí. “Cherí the matchmaker.” He ate some more eggs.
L’owen smiled. “So, when is the wedding?”
Colossus stopped chewing his eggs. “Uhm…” he said around a mouthful, “Probably soon after we get them back together?”
Cherí shoved her fiancé. “He meant us. It’s going to be soon. Supposed to be in a couple of months. We don’t have an exact date, but we’re hoping to do it on a day that has nice weather so we can have an outside ceremony.”
The Elf nodded. “Well, I can’t stay in town that long, but if you give me a week’s warning, I will definitely be here.”
“Will we know when you arrive or will you just come out of the shadows at the ceremony?”
“I’ll make sure you know ahead of time that I’ll be in town. Of course, I can’t say the same for anyone else who plies the trade that decides to come.”
“Oh? Do you think there’ll be a lot of… similarly employed folks coming?” Colossus asked.
“Well, it’s hard to say. Free meals bring us out in droves, and it doesn’t hurt that Cherí is well-liked by most.” He smiled. “Of course, someone definitely needs to iron things out with the local law enforcement before a dozen assassins show up in town all at once.”
“I didn’t think of that,” said Cherí. “But I’ll make sure I swing by Akita’s and let him know.” She waggled a finger at her friend. “You just need to make sure there’s no freelancing while they’re in town.”
“I think I can put the word out. Everyone should be able to behave.” He suppressed a grin. “For a couple of days, anyway.”
“That’d be nice; I’d hate to wear out our welcome in town,” said Colossus.
L’owen nodded. “Especially when you’ve built such a lovely home.” He looked around the room. “Of course, you might want to consider putting a grate on that chimney.”
Colossus chuckled. “I believe I can take care of that. Anything else I should consider?”
L’owen shook his head. “You’re doing all the right things to keep out everyone but the most… professional of folks.”
Colossus stood and retrieved the coffee pot. “Well, it’s nice to know I’m doing alright in that area.” He held the pot out.
“Please.”
Colossus filled the Elf’s cup again, leaving room for milk. “So, how long are you in town for?”
L’owen picked up the cup. “Unf
ortunately, I’m just passing through. I’m supposed to meet a group of locals north of Prost Garrison. Seems a couple of fellows have set themselves up as kings in this kingdom north of the Desert of the Great Unknown. They’re calling themselves gods, in fact.” He shrugged. “Some of the local up and comings want them gone.” He took a sip. “But I’m definitely going to stay a few days when I come for the ceremony.”
“You’re welcome to stay with us when you come back.” Colossus smirked. “You know where the extra bedrooms are.”
“Lovely furniture in there; you have good taste, indeed.” L’owen ran his hand over his tunic. “I had a second tunic made in this just because it was so nice.”
Colossus sat. “Well, I’m always glad to help an assassin stay fashionable.”
Cherí smiled at Colossus. “My husband, the fashionista. So after breakfast, I’ll swing by Akita and talk to him, then I’ll visit the wand shop to give Liverioso the news.”
“I’ll just tell Akita myself when I go in later this afternoon; you can go straight to the wand shop, dearest.” Colossus said.
“Liverioso is running a wand shop? The word on the street is that they’ve been booted from the Magician’s Guild for being behind on their dues.”
Colossus nodded at L’owen. “That is true. He and his partner Semfeld are just tending it while their owners are out on some fool adventure. They’ve been gone a little bit.[7]“
“A fool adventure? Those are the best kind.” L’owen smiled. “Maybe I’ll walk with you, Cherí. Just to see his reaction.” He waved his hand dismissively. “For professional curiosity, that is.”
“And I’m the romantic?”
L’owen didn’t make eye contact with the Gnomess. “Pushy isn’t she?”
“And she hits when she doesn’t get her way.” Colossus toasted L’owen with hic cup. “Hard. Probably thanks to you.”
“I’m afraid so.” He toasted the Halfling back. “All part of the training.”
The three chatted while they finished breakfast. Once they were done, L’owen and Cherí left Colossus to the dishes while they went to find Liverioso. Who happened to be with Akita at the moment.
Chapter 9
Grimbledung and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Mine (Tales From a Second-Hand Wand Shop Book 5) Page 5