by Smoke, Lucy
I let Jay lean back and I nodded. Jay rolled off the bed as Wren moved forward, handing me the washcloth. With it, I cleaned myself and Wren took it from me again—tossing it at Jay as he came back from, I assumed, the bathroom. Jay rolled his eyes and took it—and the discarded clothing from earlier and deposited it all in a pile by the door before joining us on the bed.
I curled up between the two of them, sighing as exhaustion tugged at my consciousness. “Wait,” I said, my mind already bleary with sleep, “whose room is this? Will we—”
“It’s mine,” Wren answered. “Don’t worry. You can sleep, sweetheart.”
It was like he could read my mind. I nodded and slid back down into the sheets, cuddling between the two men, feeling high on some strange warmth in my chest. Whatever it was, it felt like home.
Chapter 12
I woke up in a groggy half-awake, half-still asleep manner. The way my body was acting, it was obvious I hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep and I couldn’t see any light peaking over the tops of the walls or through the windows. I assumed that meant it was still night time. I rolled slightly against a massive obstacle. Overly warm and sequestered between two muscular chests, I finally realized exactly where I was.
To be honest, it was the best fucking way to wake up and, had I been given half a choice, I probably would have remained between them indefinitely. Or at least until they woke up and we could perform the same magic feats as earlier all over again. My bladder, however, was not on board with the plan.
I scooted down, moving under the sheets, sliding past their knees and calves until I slid out from under the covers at the end of the bed. Without clothes on, the house was a bit chilly. I crossed my arms over my chest, ducked down and snatched up one of the guys’ previously discarded shirts. I pulled it on before heading out into the hallway.
I found the bathroom and afterwards, headed to my own room to dress. I walked into the hallway and headed for the front door, wondering if Preston was still in the clinic. If he’d been up all night. If he’d heard any news from the rangers.
The night was almost cold as I walked into it. I didn’t even realize how used to the heat I’d gotten that when the sun went down and the cool air overtook me, it was quite a shock. Another shock was seeing that Preston had indeed stayed up. And it looked like he was prepping to leave. As he shut the trunk of the Jeep and circled around it, I jogged towards him.
“Where are you going?” I called out.
Preston froze, his hand on the handle of the driver’s side door. “Go back inside, Jen.”
I paused at the tone in his voice. “Has something happened? What is it?”
He didn’t look at me. “Just go back inside,” he repeated. “Stay with Jay and Wren and I’ll see you in the morning.” He jerked the vehicle door open.
“Oh, no you don’t.” I stomped towards him and slid between him and the seat. “You’re not leaving again without an explanation. What’s going on?”
Preston’s ocean blue eyes pinned me back, the glare in them so bright I felt compelled to look away. I was startled by the amount of emotion swirling in the depths of his irises, like giant monsoon waves crashing against one another. My heart leaped in my chest and then took off running as he moved closer until we were only a hair’s breadth away from each other.
“I don’t know why you were sent here to torment me, Jen…” His words were slow, almost melodic, soothing, and calming. The words, themselves, though were anything but. They were jagged rocks cutting into my consciousness.
“What are you talking about?” And like a latch clicking shut, I realized. “You saw?” I asked. My mind rewinds. I had heard a door closing and with Jay and Wren’s hands on me, my attention focused on them—it hadn’t been them.
He shook his head. “I didn’t, but I heard. I knew you were…seeing them, but—”
“And you’re mad about that?” I was shocked. Taking a step back, bumping into the door of the Jeep, I shook my head. “Have you forgotten who ruined this in the first place?” I gestured with emphasis between us. Preston’s gaze sharpened, but before he could speak, I was already talking again. “No,” I snapped. “You don’t get to have an opinion. I didn’t come here—all the way to South Africa—to see you. I didn’t even know you would be here.”
“I know that!” he shouted, his face flushing. It was the first time I had seen him so worked up since I had shown up on his clinic doorstep. “I just—I’m not fucking mad at you. I have no fucking right to be, I know that. The universe must be torturing me.”
“Yes, because it’s all about you.” I rolled my eyes and planted my hands on my hips. “I accepted Wren’s offer of a date, and then Jay’s. We’re adults and we have an understanding. It’s casual. They’ve done nothing to lead me to the conclusion that we are in any way serious. Unlike some people,” I made the dig with bite in my tone, “they can be honest.”
“I never lied to you, Jen.”
“Not with your words,” I said, “but you sure as fuck didn’t tell me that you’d be leaving the next day and you sure as fuck didn’t tell me that you never wanted to talk to me again.”
“Did you try calling me?” he snapped.
I stopped and stuttered, shocked by the question. “I—I…” Had I? It had been so long, I couldn’t remember.
“I didn’t change my cell number,” he stated. “I had to go for orientation. I’d been accepted. It was an obligation. I thought you’d call. I left you a note.”
“You left me a note saying goodbye!” I shrieked. “I took that to mean we were done, you were gone, and it was over.”
“I never said that.”
“So, what?” I shook my head. “You want me to believe that the only reason we haven’t been together in the last six years—that we haven’t even talked—is because I misunderstood you? What about you? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I thought you needed time,” he insisted, his face a mask of confusion. "I asked Katie to tell you—"
"My college roommate, Katie?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I left the note, but I figured that might not be enough."
"You're damn right it wasn’t enough," I muttered.
He sighed. "Will you let me finish?"
I gestured for him to continue.
He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why do I have a feeling that there's been a massive misunderstanding?"
"Because if there has—"
"—which there obviously must be—"
I ignored his interruption and continued, "Then that makes both of us the asses in this situation."
A moment of awkward silence stretched between us. He released the bridge of his nose and looked back down, making eye contact as heat shimmered through my spine. I turned my eyes away.
"It...I mean, Katie hated me...I thought you knew?"
I saw the locks of his hair slap over his forehead out of the corner of my eyes as he shook his head. "She said she'd talk to you and when you never called me, I thought...”
I groaned. "I can't fucking believe this." A misunderstanding? That's what had me practically off the relationship market for six years? I ran a hand through my hair and turned away from him, pacing down the side of the Jeep.
"Jen." At my name, I turned around, mouth open—ready to lay into him. A misunderstanding of this magnitude was just fucking ridiculous. We had both grown up and grown apart. It was obvious that things had changed. I wasn't ready to just be with him again. Even if things were casual between Jay and Wren, I owed it to them to see this through. To make sure that there were no misunderstandings. But when I turned back to Preston, I didn't get a chance to say a damn word. His hands found my arms and held me steady as his mouth descended and his lips slammed into mine.
The kiss rocketed down to my core and shot back up through my arteries, flaming away all inhibitions. Some people say that kissing an old lover is like falling back into the past. This wasn’t anything like that, i
t was like diving headfirst into the past passion that had exploded between us and left my virginity and my heart in tatters. This. This was why six years of my life had been spent mourning the loss of him. I closed my eyes and melted into the touch of him, weak against his onslaught. All thoughts fled at the first sign of weakness, and I had to admit it: I was weak around him. My knees buckled and one of his arms wove around my back, holding me up, pressing me against his lean chest. I remembered the feel of his skin under my fingertips. The soft, silken whispers against my own skin that had made me shiver in the darkness of my dorm room. How it all felt so close and far away at the same moment, I couldn't comprehend.
But when he pulled away, and his eyes glittered under the South African night sky, I blinked up at him wondering how I could ever let him go again. Wondering if I was being stupid. If he would let me go.
"I want to stay," he whispered, bending to lick at the seam of my mouth. I groaned against him. "But I have to go."
"W-what?" My brain couldn't think, couldn't comprehend, I was so intent and focused on his tongue as it slid between my lips and twined with my own, I didn't know how to think. “Where are you going?” I asked when our mouths separated once more and I could draw in a breath, along with coherent thought.
Preston looked away from me and I narrowed my gaze on him, glancing back to the Jeep. “What were you packing up?” I asked.
With his hands still on my arms, he pushed me back. “You should go back inside.”
“Wait, you didn’t—I mean, we haven’t finished talking, Preston. We need to figure this out.” The kiss had been amazing, but our conversation was nowhere near over. We needed to include Jay and Wren in this as well. Figure out what we were doing. I needed to figure out what the hell I was doing.
“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” Preston promised, grabbing the open door of the Jeep and sliding inside.
“Where are you going?” I repeated, confusion and dread sinking to the pit of my stomach. Instead of answering, he shut the door and leaned out the open window smacking another kiss on my startled lips. “You can’t just kiss me when you don’t want to answer.” I stomped my foot and glared at him. “Really…” I stared at him, worry blooming sharp and heavy in me. “What are you—”
“I’ll be back,” he said, cutting me off. “Go back inside with Jay and Wren.” I stepped back as the Jeep revved to life and glanced to the side. “And Jen?” I looked back at him. “For what it’s worth, I was stupid and young and made assumptions. I didn’t think you were as into me as I was you and if I get back okay, I promise we’ll work it out. If that means I have to share you with Jay and Wren, it’ll be okay.”
“Get back okay?”
But he wasn’t listening. He pressed the gas and the Jeep reversed, spinning in the dirt beneath its wheels. The taillights gleamed an ominous red down the road. I knew whatever he was going to do wasn’t at all good.
* * *
“Wake up!” I yelled as I re-entered the house. I threw open Wren’s bedroom door and strode inside, hands on my hips. “We have to go.”
Wren and Jay both sat up, bleary-eyed and confused. I reached down, scrambling for their clothes and started throwing things at them. Pants. Shirts. Shoes. Forget the socks, we didn’t have time.
“What’s going on?” Jay mumbled as he hopped on one foot, pulling his pants up one leg at a time.
I bit my lip, crossing my arms over my chest. “Preston just went off to only God knows where and I’m worried.”
Wren stuck his head out of the neck of his shirt and pulled it over his rippling abdomen. “Went where?” he asked, still blinking the sleep from his eyes.
“I told you,” I said, “I don’t know. But it can’t be anywhere good. I have a bad feeling.”
“Did the rangers call back?” Jay asked, pulling his shirt on as well as Wren grabbed a pair of pants from the items I’d thrown at them and slid them on, buttoning them at his waist.
“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”
Wren and Jay exchanged a look, then Jay grabbed his phone from the remainder of the discarded pile of my own clothes on the floor and checked it. “What?” I asked, unfolding my arms and stepping forward. “If you know something, tell me.”
“It’s still way too early for them to be showing up if they were on their way,” Jay said.
“What does that mean?”
“It means Preston probably didn’t wait around to hear back from them,” Wren answered in a dry tone, rubbing a hand down his face. “Shit.”
“He went after the poachers?” I clarified. “Didn’t he say it was dangerous?” My tone took on a high pitched note.
“Yes, he fucking did—the idiot,” Wren said.
“Let’s go get him before he does something stupid,” Jay said.
As the two of them made their way out of the room, grabbing their boots and tugging them on, I followed.
“I’m coming with you,” I said.
I fully expected to have to fight my way into the car with them, but Wren nodded to Jay and grabbed my arm, sliding his fingers down to tangle with mine.
“You stay in the car, no matter what you hear or see, got it?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that—I dreaded whatever he meant by that—but I nodded anyway, afraid that if I fought him then they might actually leave me behind. I climbed into the backseat of one of the extra vehicles behind the house while Wren got into the front passenger seat and Jay got into the driver’s seat.
“Do you have a gun?” Jay asked.
Wren checked the compartment under his seat and pulled out a handgun. I watched, wide-eyed, as he checked the clip and then nodded. “It’s good.”
“There should be a shotgun or two in the back. Jen, can you look back and check?”
I turned, craning my neck to look over the back of the seat. I couldn’t see well, so as the vehicle bumped along in the dark, I unbuckled my seatbelt and shifted to my knees. Reaching into the darkness, I grabbed what I thought was a black blanket, but when I touched it realized it was a tarp made of plastic fiber materials—and pulled it back.
“They’re back here,” I confirmed, twisting back in my seat and buckling up once more.
“Good,” Jay responded. I watched the back of his head as we rode in silence. He was so unlike himself right now. It was almost scary. He was acting direct and serious and I realized just how dangerous this was. Poachers were dangerous. They might kill Preston to get what they wanted, and I knew Preston—from what I knew of Preston both before and now—would rather die than let someone hurt one of his animals.
I rested my head against the seat and prayed that we’d find him before anything bad happened.
Chapter 13
A lone abandoned Jeep sat in the dirt. Jay pulled up alongside it. “It’s Preston’s,” I said, worry creeping into each word. I turned to the two men in the front as they glanced at each other. Jay parked and they both got out.
Wren leaned back inside as I unbuckled my seatbelt. “Do you have your phone?” he asked. I nodded, pulling it out and holding it up. “Trade with me.” He took it from me and handed his own phone over.
“Why?” I asked, confused as I held his phone in my lap.
“The rangers have all of our numbers but not yours. If they call my phone, tell them the situation and have them meet us up here.”
I nodded. “What about you guys? Are you going to be okay?”
Jay rounded the back of the vehicle and I felt the back jerk as he opened it and reached inside. I turned my head, watching him as he slung one shotgun over his shoulder and lifted the other.
“Don’t worry about us, baby,” Jay said with a small grin that was reminiscent of the man I had come to know him as. “Everything is going to be okay. You just stay here and keep your head low. If you see anyone you don’t know, call us. You know your own number, call it. Wren and I will be fine.”
“Just find him,” I begged. I needed Preston to not be stupid. I need
ed him to come back. We couldn’t figure all the shit out that we needed to if he was dead.
Jay nodded and leaned into the back, pressing a quick kiss against the corner of my mouth. When I turned back as he shut the back latch, Wren reached forward and brushed the tips of his fingers down my cheek. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll be back soon.”
I sat in the backseat of the car, in the quiet, clutching Wren’s phone between my palms. Sweat beaded on the back of my neck and slid down my spine. I reached back, gathering the layers of my hair in one fist and twisted it up into a bun, tying the messy, unbrushed strands together and tucking them into each other to keep them from falling out. Cool air slid over my newly revealed skin, coming in from the open windows, as I bowed my head.
I waited for what felt like forever. All the thoughts that I had imprisoned in the back of my mind were freed and they rushed to the forefront, scrambling over one another like hungry children wanting my attention.
What if Preston was out there? What if he was hurt? What if the past six years really had been a misunderstanding?
I dropped Wren’s phone in my lap and clamped my hands over my ears, hating that last thought. It was stupid. A misunderstanding? That was too easy—too simple. I mean, I hadn’t been a fucking fairytale princess waiting at the top of some great tower for him for the last six years. I’d had sex. I’d gone on dates. But I also hadn’t forgotten about him. Was it possible that he hadn’t forgotten about me too?
But then, why hadn’t he called? Why hadn’t he tried? Maybe he had been just as scared as I was. We were kids. We were on the brink of adulthood, neither of us quite sure where we were going. I knew we both had our own dreams. I knew he wanted to be a veterinarian. I wanted to be a photojournalist.
My hands dropped down to my lap when I heard something just outside of the car. Something—dread, perhaps, or a nervous sensation—told me to keep my head low. To stay out of sight. I slid down to the floorboards behind the driver’s seat and snatched the phone to my chest. It could be the guys, I realized, but the footsteps sounded off. I couldn’t figure out what it was until something thumped against the ground.