I was seconds from breaking down when Jasper returned, looking me up and down. “You shouldn’t be alone after having such a bad dream. Would you like to spend the night with me?” he asked thickly.
My body flushed in embarrassment, but the offer was too tempting to resist. I nodded quickly and walked after him, swallowing. “Yes. I don’t want to be alone. I know it’s silly, but I’m frightened,” I admitted weakly, gripping his arm.
He put his hand over mine and led me down the hall to his room. The candles had all been put out hours ago and I couldn’t see much of the spacious room, but I could tell that it was large and decorated with rich colors. He got in the bed first and I sank in beside him, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling, my breathing coming a little faster.
“Good night, Beatrice,” Jasper said.
“Good night,” I whispered in return, my voice thread with a hint of fear.
We lay in silence for a long time and as I stared into the darkness, all I could focus on was his breathing. It was a smooth, steady rhythm that brought me some comfort. I could focus on it and let the rest of the world fall away.
I was almost asleep when I made the mistake of turning to look at him. His face was perfect. He was the most beautiful man I’d ever laid eyes on, even as he lies there, sleeping. I reached out and touched his face, focusing on every curve and line of his features. As I touched him, his eyes opened and I did a very, very stupid thing.
I closed the space between us, placing a kiss on his smooth lips. It felt good to have his lips on me. He was so warm and so strong. I didn’t like admitting that I wanted or needed a man around, but just for tonight, I could let myself be weak. I was afraid of the person who’d snuck into my room and I knew Jasper didn’t believe me, but I knew what I saw.
The kiss lasted only a brief moment and when he parted he was looking down at my, a hint of sleep still in his eyes. Would he remember this come morning? A part of me hoped he didn’t, but most of me wanted him to remember everything. I wanted him to put aside any thoughts he had about me and I wanted him to hold me and care for me. For the first time in my life I wanted approval from a man.
He cupped my cheeks and offered another tender kiss. “You’re safe now, Bea,” he whispered, using my nickname.
I liked the way it rolled off his tongue. I nodded and tucked my head against his chest. “Don’t let go, okay?” I pleaded softly, hating the fear in my voice.
“I’ll be right here when you wake up,” he promised.
I took him at his word, allowing my eyes to drift closed and allowing myself to relax and find peace in his arms. I’d never understood why women were always so desperate to marry, but laying in his arms, feeling safe and cherished made me want it just as badly.
I was under his spell and I had no desire to fight it.
Chapter Ten
I could already feel the sun on my face before I even opened my eyes. When they finally did flutter open, I was a bit surprised to find that I wasn’t in the room I’d been staying it. I jolted upright, my eyes wide and unfocused as I looked around the room, my head spinning. Where was I? I could feel my breath coming faster and harder as I tried to piece together what was happening.
Suddenly, the person beside me (who I hadn’t noticed until now) gave a loud snore and turned over. I jumped and pulled my blanket up over my chest, suddenly realizing I was naked. As I stared at Jasper’s beautiful face I started to remember when had happened the night before. I could remember his hands running along my body, leaving trails of hot pleasure as they went. I chewed on my bottom lip as the thought overwhelmed me. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ignore the desperate need to be touched.
I could not stay here. Staying in bed would make me want to wrap myself around his strong figure. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and took in a shaky breath as I turned to slide out of the bed. Before I could make it too far, Jasper reached out and grabbed my wrist, groaning softly.
“Where are you going?” he asked, his sleepy eyes cracking open just a little.
I looked at him with wide eyes, probably looking like a child who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I stumbled on my words, trying to find something semi intelligent to say, though nothing seemed to want to come out. He just smiled and pulled me back into the bed, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me gently. He pressed his lips to my temple and my body lit up all over again.
I’d been raised as a proper lady, despite the fact that I’d tried to ignore those tendencies my entire life. However, the subject of sex had always been something I’d avoided, like a good girl should. No one ever explained it to me. My mother died when I was young and my nannies were all too prudish to tell me. I did not really know much about it until I became an adult and started talking to other adult women. It was something that always interested me and terrified me at the same time. After all, it sounded rather messy and painful. In all honesty, the concept of it had terrified me, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that Jasper had been gentle. There had been no pain.
Even now he held me close and I felt safe rather than intimidated. He sighed and I could feel him nuzzling the back of my neck.
“What are you doing?” I asked softly, curious as to what this handsome man was up to.
“Taking in your scent,” he purred.
My cheeks went hot with embarrassment and I swallowed thickly. “It’s morning. I can’t possibly smell very good,” I murmured.
“On the contrary, you smell flowers in the spring time,” he whispered, running his fingers through my hair.
My body was coming alive again and I started to pull away from him. The amount of control he had over me terrified me. I tried to pull away but he just pulled me back down and shook his head.
“Where are you going?” he chuckled softly.
“I have a job I need to do,” I said quickly.
His grip loosened and I could hear the disappointment in his voice. “Right.”
Apparently our late night romp had been enough to give him some sort of reprieve from his grief over his dead nanny. But the coroner was coming to get her today, which meant it was my last day to get information from the body.
I sighed and turned in his arms, pressing my forehead to his. I was not, by nature, an affectionate person. I’d never received a lot of affection as a child, and therefore didn’t really know how to give it. With Jasper, however, I felt almost an instinct as to what to do to lessen his sadness.
“I know this much be so hard for you. I know it’s tempting to just ignore the grief and anger, and sweep it under the rug. It’s tempting to drink away the horrors of the world and forget that these things exist. I know, I’ve been doing it for most of my life,” I said as I stroked his jaw.
He did not look up at me, but nodded slowly. “I want to catch the bastard that did this to her. She was such a good woman. She did not deserve to be carved up like a slab of meat,”
he hissed, his voice shaking.
“I know. No one does,” I said, forcing myself to sit up. I allowed the blanket to slip away, not caring much about modesty anymore. He had seen, touched, and tasted all of me the night before.
He followed suit and closed his eyes, resting his head against the head board. “Do you think you’ll find who did this?”
“I hope I do.”
What I did not tell him, was that as each day passed, the killer was slipping further from my grasp. Time was a detective’s greatest enemy. It put distance between the crime and the person investigating it. Each day that passed was time that evidence slipped away and disintegrated.
The other thing I did not tell him, was that I did not think the person in my room was a dream or a hallucination. I knew in my bones that they were very real and that she was the key to this whole mystery.
Chapter Eleven
Jasper was hesitant to let go of me as the morning drew on. He wanted me by his side, and while I found that to be oddly charming, I knew
I had a job to do. The city was going to be coming by to collect the body and they worked quickly.
I climbed from bed and dressed in a rush, opting to skip breakfast and go straight to the greenhouse. Ivana had sent me the records of criminals whose finger prints might have matched the ones I found on the shears. She also sent me the names of people who might fit the profile of the person I was looking for. I hesitated to call the person a man, because the wounds to the face seemed like something a woman would do. Women would be more likely to find marring the face insulting. I hadn’t voiced this to Jasper yet, however. Many people struggled to believe that a woman could do something so heinous, but I’d seen it plenty of times.
I went straight to work collecting more fingerprints off anything I could find, including the body. I was also going to take fingerprints off the bed posts and windows in the room where I was attacked. It seemed a bit farfetched to think that the person who broke into my room might also be the killer, but if it was then I needed to know. Were they there to kill me because I was on their trail? I could not piece that together quite yet, but I could not help but feel that the two incidents were related.
As I was lifting finger prints from several places inside the greenhouse, one of the city collectors poked their head in. His nose wrinkled and he stepped inside, covering his face with a kerchief.
“Ma’am, what exactly are you doing in here? Don’t you know this is a crime scene?”
I looked up from the shears and stood, one eyebrow cocked. “Don’t you know I’m the detective that’s been assigned to this case?” I asked in return.
The man seemed shocked for a moment, looking me up and down and clearly trying to figure out whether I was lying or not. I put a hand on my hip and gave him a serious look. “Do you need to see my badge?”
“Oh, no that won’t be necessary.” There was a moment of awkward silence before he cleared his throat again. “Well, I suppose you can leave this to us now. We’re here to take the body away.”
I stood and nodded. “Let me go get the gentleman of this house.”
“You do not need to do that. He’s already approved us to take her away.”
“Did you talk to him today?” I asked.
He hesitated.
“No.”
“Then you’ll wait,” I said firmly. “You should at least allow him to say good bye.”
“We’ve already put off taking her away for more than two weeks to accommodate your needs!” he said, irritated.
“Then ten more minutes should not hurt a thing! This woman was practically his mother for God sake!” I snapped.
He was about to reply when the door creaked open again and Jasper came through. He looked between me and the man who was standing just in front of me, his hands shaking at his sides.
“Is there a problem here?” he asked.
The undertaker glanced at Jasper, teeth clenched. “Are you the man of the house?”
“I am,” he said, brows furrowed.
The undertaker pulled at his blazer and turned to leave, clearly upset. Jasper frowned and watched him go, pointedly not looking at the body of the woman he considered his mother. It was still in relatively good condition since I had my ways of persevering bodies. The undertaker’s office was still trying to figure out how I did it, but they’d come up empty handed every time they tried. I had no intention of telling them either. Autopsies were still frowned upon and I had an inkling that they would not have liked it if they knew I covered the bodies in strange chemicals to make them less appealing to bugs.
As the undertaker left, Jasper walked over to me, frowning. “What was that?”
“He was trying to take her away.”
“Well, that’s his job,” he said, the sadness leaking into his voice.
I hesitated and sighed. “I figured you would want to say goodbye,” I said softly, glancing at the body behind me.
He stiffened and looked away. “I do not want to.”
I reached out and took his hand. “Listen, I know it’s hard, but if you do not do this you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”
“How do you know that?” he asked.
“I’ve seen this one too many times. Trust me. You do not want them to take her out of here without tying up the loose ends.”
He did not argue with me, but I could tell he was still hesitant. I released him and went over to the body, covering it with a blanket I’d been using to lock in the chemicals. After she was covered, I led him over to her and he stared down at the unmoving body. He opened his mouth as if to speak but nothing came out. I wasn’t about to rush him. I held his hand, doing my best to be supportive.
Finally, he released my hand and swallowed, kneeling down to press a kiss to the old woman’s forehead, tears in his eyes. He pushed himself back up and walked out of the greenhouse. I followed close behind, nodding toward the undertaker as we left.
“Why did you do that?” Jasper whispered.
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.
“Why did you make me say goodbye?” he huffed.
I took a step back, shocked by his sudden display of anger. “I was trying to help.”
“You didn’t help. I did not want to see her again. I did not want to see her like that!” he snapped, throwing his arm out towards the greenhouse.
My frown deepened and I took a step back. “Jasper. I wasn’t-,”
“Stop. Just stop and go. You’ve done enough,” he said roughly.
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course I mean it! You came in here and you clouded my head with that fiery hair and beautiful face. I realize now that I can’t control myself around you. You make me feel things-” he caught himself, turning to look at me, his eyes wide. “It was a mistake asking you to come here.”
I was shocked by the sudden turn of events. My stomach rolled and I swallowed thickly, taking a step back. “Very well,” I whispered, my voice choked. “I did not realize I was such an inconvenience. You certainly did not mind having me in your bed-”
“You’re like every other woman,” he whispered, looking down at me. “You’re trying to trick me.”
“Trying to trick you how? I was trying to help you!” I nearly shouted.
“I do not need your help! You do not know what’s best for me! You probably made up that silly story last night just to get into my bed. You’re here for my money! That’s all anyone wants. You probably want me to fund that silly detective agency of yours!” he said cruelly.
I took a step back, my hand pressed to my chest. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I had no idea what had brought on his sudden aggression. I hadn’t done anything to deserve this. My bottom lip trembled just a little, though I tried desperately to hide it.
“Was this your plan all along? Get me in your bed and then throw me out? Why? To humiliate me? To show me that you can have any woman you want?”
“I can have any woman I want,” he said slowly, his words deliberate.
The words made my blood boil. I reached out, my hand connecting with cheek hard enough for the sound to echo through the yard. There were so many things I wanted to shout at him, but I was too hurt to get them out. I would not have said that we were falling in love, but it felt like we had something, some sort of connection. Now he was willing to throw me out of his life?
Well I wasn’t about to be thrown out. I was going to walk out with my pride and my dignity.
Chapter Twelve
I managed to pack my things up before the undertaker left. He was hesitant, but agreed to give me a ride back to town when I offered him a little too much money. I did not care, though. I had plenty of money. I wasn’t even planning on collecting from Jasper. If he thought this was about the money, I was going to prove him wrong.
I forced myself to keep a brave face all the way back to the city. The undertaker seemed unnerved by my silence and it seemed he was readying himself to ask me a question, but every time he opened his mouth he closed it a
gain, clearly deciding against pressing me for answers.
Once we arrived in town I hopped down from the carriage and offered a halfhearted thank you before hauling myself back into my office. I wanted to check on things before I went up to the flat. I was surprised to see a candle still burning when I went inside.
Ivana glanced up from the desk and frowned. “You’re back early. Did you figure out who killed the old woman?”
“No. I was kicked out before I could finish my investigation.”
She jumped up from her chair and looked at me for a long moment. “Kicked out? What in the world happened?” she asked quickly, pulling up a chair so that I could sit in it.
I settled in the chair thankfully and put my head in my hands, finally allowing my walls to break down. Silent tears poured down my cheeks and I just shook my head.
“I was so stupid, Ivana,” I whispered, looking up at her helplessly.
She frowned and sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me, kissing my forehead and trying to calm me. “Shhh. What do you mean, darling?”
“I slept with him.” I almost started laughing hysterically when the words left my lips. “I got in his bed and I do not know what came over me! I should have known he’d kick me out as soon as he got what he wanted,” I whispered.
She watched me closely for a long moment and sighed, finally wrapping her arms around me. “It’s okay,” she murmured. “You did not do anything wrong. Sometimes those types of feelings and urges are hard to ignore.”
“I just thought that there was actually something between us. He made me feel good. I know I wasn’t there for long, but there was a spark. I know it’s stupid. I can’t explain it, but he made me smile and laugh.”
I had all but given up on love for myself. I was starting to believe my nanny’s words. Maybe boys really didn’t want girls like me. Maybe boys wanted girls with pretty curls and delicate hands. No one wanted a girl with a brain and blood stains on her dress. I’d understood this from an early age, but it did not bother me until now. It did not bother me because I’d never met a man with giving up everything else for.
Biker Romance: Never Love an Exile (Exile Love Biker MC Series Book 3) Page 8