I start to stroke his huge cock up and down. A bit of pre-cum seeps out the top. I rub it over the top of his head. Needing to taste him, I push him back. Making him sit back this time, I kneel in front of him. Just seeing his cock twitching is making my pussy drip. Without so much as a warning, I take him into my mouth. He taste so good, better than I ever imagined. I take him out of my mouth and then I dart my tongue out and lick from the bottom of his shaft to the top and swirl my tongue around. I take him back in harshly and suck like I never have before. I massage his balls gently. I hear his breathing pick up, he must be close. “Av, I’m gonna-” He grabs my hair tightly which only making me turned on. Just as I think he is about to come, he says, “You gotta stop.” Thinking that he is just in the moment, I continue sucking him off.
“I said stop, Avery.” He says and then pulls me up to him. “Okay, Jackson. Geez.” I go to kiss him and he turns his head. “Jackson what the-” I don’t finish because he is shaking his head. What the fuck is going on now? I have been waiting for this and he started it and now he wants to stop? “We shouldn’t be doing this.” Wait, what the fuck? “What do you mean Jackson because obviously, I do not understand?” Now I’m just getting pissed.
“We shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t have let it go that far. I didn’t mean for it to go that far. You should go.”
I am fuming mad. I am not leaving until I get a full fucking explanation as to what the fuck just happened. Looking at Jackson I spit, “Fuck you Jackson, FUCK YOU!!”
Chapter 24
What the fuck is he thinking? Fuck this.
“What the fuck do you mean we shouldn’t be doing this? Which part “shouldn’t” we be doing exactly Jackson? The part when I was sucking your dick or the part when you were licking my pussy and fingering me? Please tell me which part, because I would just love to know!”
The fucking nerve of him! He now has his boxers pulled back up and his head is down. “I’m waiting for a fucking answer Jackson, fucking tell me!” Fuck this, I am leaving. I cannot go through this shit with him again. He was finally opening up to me and I thought we were finally getting somewhere, but I guess I was once again, wrong.
Huffing out loud, I walk over to where Jackson is to retrieve my clothes. “Move out of my way.” I say to him. My clothes are behind where he’s standing. I should just punch him and get it over with.
First, a horrible run in with my asshole ex, Blake. Then, the fight between him and Jackson. That all lead me back here where Jackson somewhat started opening up to me, which lead to us almost having sex and now to me wanting to seriously hit him. I’m marking this on the calendar as “the worse day of my life.”” I am just so over this day.
I am now almost dressed and I walk to the kitchen and snatch my purse off of the counter. Heading back into the living room, I make my way to the door, but stop to get my phone out to call a cab.
“Where you going, Sunshine?” Jackson has the nerve to ask.
“I’m leaving. You told me to leave and I am. I’m not in the fucking mood to deal with anymore of your shit. I’m calling a cab and going the fuck home. This has been a day from fucking hell!” I scroll through my phone looking for the cab company’s number. Just as I’m about to hit the “call” button, my phone is snatched from my hand.
“You aren’t fucking leaving. You’re gonna sit here and we are gonna talk. Sit down.” Am I a fucking dog? Sit down? Fuck no.
“Jackson, I really can’t deal with much more tonight. You don’t want me here, so I’m leaving, with or without my phone.” I say to him.
“I said sit down, Sunshine. I meant it.” He says to me.
“Fuck you, Jackson. I’m not a fucking dog. No, I will not fucking sit because you said so. You fucking started this. I’m so out of here.” Just as I open the door to walk out, Jackson pulls me back and slams the door.
“Will you just fucking stop already?” He shouts. “I said to fucking sit down so we can talk dammit.”
“No, Jackson. Fuck you. I like you, okay. I really do, but this rollercoaster ride is just not for me. I thought that you had finally opened your eyes and wanted something with me. I went through hell the first time you stopped coming around. Then, it completely fucking gutted me when I had to tell Chubbs goodbye because you had to leave. I don’t know why, but I love that little man. A piece of me fucking broke that day! I was falling so hard for you and you once again fucking gutted me.” He went to say something, but I cut him off.
“No, Jackson, now is not the time to talk, it’s time you fucking listened.” I point my finger at him and continue. I need to get this all out. He has hurt me in so many ways that I have to let my feelings out.
“I have been crying for two days straight, Jackson. Two fucking days because you once again left. Britnie dragged me out to cheer me up. Well, that turned to hell when Blake started everything. Then, after you dropped Britnie off, I thought that finally we can be alone and maybe talk and hell we did, or you did and I was so fucking happy that you opened up to me and then you kissed me. You kissed me. I couldn’t have been happier and then you stopped. I was fine with stopping, but what you said after that, gutted me. It truly fucking gutted me. Even though I am starting to fall for you even more than I already am, I can’t do this anymore, Jackson, I can’t. I can’t go through this again. I feel deeply for you, hell, I think I’m falling in love with you, but I cannot do this anymore. For my own sake, I just can’t.” I didn’t realize I was crying until Jackson walked over to me and wiped away my tears. I have no more fight in me to even push him away.
“Avery, I didn’t mean-” I hold my hand up to stop him. I don’t want to hear the “sorries” right now. I am just done.
“Jackson, you said all you needed to say, as did I. I wish you the best. I will miss you and that beautiful little man, but I just…” I stop talking and start walking towards the door.
“Wait Avery, don’t forget your phone. Just let me take you home, it’s the least I can do.” He says as he shrugs.
“No, Jackson. I’ll call a cab.” I say to him.
“Avery, If you just let me say what I’m-” I shake my head no.
“Goodbye Jackson.” I am full on crying now. I walk back to him and say, “This is goodbye Jackson.” I kiss his cheek, “I love you Jackson, but this,” I say pointing to him and then myself, “really is goodbye.” I open the door without looking back and let the tears flow.
Jackson
What the fuck!? I wasn’t taking her back to my place to get laid. I mean sure it was going well, but I didn’t want her to think that was the only reason I was doing it. I wanted to tell her everything and that I loved her. I love her. Now, I’ll never be able to tell her. I have never seen her like that. She is severely pissed off. Like an asshole, I let her leave, but I wanted to give her space. I am royally fucked now. Dammit!!
Chapter 25
Six Weeks Later
The day I left Jackson’s house, literally broke me in two. When I got home that night, my brother was on the doorstep waiting for me. I don’t know how he knew I needed him, but I’m glad he was there. I broke down in his arms and he just let me cry. He didn’t ask questions yet and for that, I was thankful. He picked me up and brought me inside. Colin saw my face and rushed over and took me from his arms.
My brother gave him a shove and Colin screamed, “What the fuck is going on and why is she fucking crying? Whose neck do we have to break?” Jared has always been the level headed one unless you give him a reason not to be. He usually lets me deal with things myself and then asks questions. Colin on the other hand, has always been a hot head about things. Wanting answers right then and there and wanting to kick ass. Some say that he has a crush on me, but I wouldn’t think so. He is just a protective brother to me. I’ve known him my entire life and it would be awkward to think of him in that sense.
“No one C, geez. Calm the fuck down. She will be fine. She always is.” Jared said to Colin.
“How the fuck is
she ok if she is bawling her fucking eyes out. Are you blind? Av, tell me whose ass I gotta kick and I will. You know I got your back.” I love that Colin wanted to kick someone’s ass, because hell I know I did, but at that moment, all I wanted was to take a shower, go to bed and wish the entire night had been a bad dream.
“Colin, I love that you’re protective, but I’ll be fine,” I held up my hand before he could interrupt, and continued, “Some shit happened and I’m not ready to talk about it just yet. I want this whole night to just be forgotten. I’m upset and hurt, but I will be ok. Like Jared said, I usually am.” I looked to Jared and said, “Thank you Jared. As always, you know just when I need you. You’re not just my brother, but my best friend and I love you for always being there for me. No questions asked.” He smiled in return. I looked to Colin and then back to Jared. “Thank you both. I mean it. I love you both, but I need a shower and then my bed. We will talk later.” I went up to my room and did just what I said I was going to.
The night after seeing my brother and Colin, things only went downhill for 3 weeks straight. I was a mess. I was late to work, which never happens, I spilled scalding hot coffee on myself, three damn times. It’s as if I just couldn’t get my brain to function right. I knew I made the best decision for myself, but it doesn’t mean I liked it one damn bit.
The beginning of the fourth week, I took my two weeks paid vacation. I needed to clear my head. I should’ve done it after the whole Jackson fiasco, but I wanted to keep busy, and as you can tell, that clearly didn’t work out.
I caught up on reading and listened to music. I did a little retail therapy and got a mani/pedi, but none of that cheered me up.
Poor Britnie was tired of seeing me mope around; she even said that I lost too much weight and that she was going to do an intervention soon. I just rolled my eyes at her. Little did I know, she wasn’t joking. I guess you should never underestimate your best friend, at any given time.
She scheduled four blind dates, all in the same week. I told her she could kiss my ass because I wasn’t going. I know she wanted me to get my mind off of Jackson and everything that happened, but there was no way in hell I was going on a fucking blind date. No way no how!
Only one of those blind dates happen. I tell Britnie I love that she wants to cheer me up, but I don’t want to go through all of that and we settle on just one date.
His name is Devin and he is a friend of a friend that Britnie knows. When I see him, I think nhe’s gorgeous. He has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He is tall and muscular. He even has dimples. He really is hot. Even though I keep thinking about Jackson, I force myself to at least have fun, if not for my sake, for my best friend’s. She did go out of her way to set this up.
We meet at the restaurant and start talking right away. We click and make lots of conversation; anything from birthdays to favorite colors, to siblings. I am having fun and it feels good. That is, until I look up and see Jackson sitting with a beautiful woman.
I don’t realize I’m staring until Devin says, “Hey, you okay? Do you know them?” I shake my head and answer, “Not really.” It’s true. I don’t know the woman and I only know what Jackson allows me to know. Just seeing him changes my mood change and poor Devin notices. I really am having a good time and I don’t even think of Jackson once before this, but now, I just want to go home.
“Hey Devin, I’m not feeling well all of a sudden. I really did have a good time, but I think I’m gonna leave. I’m sorry. I’ll call you.” I’m not really planning on calling him, but I need to get out of here, and fast.
“Sure.” Devin says somewhat defeated. I feel bad, but I didn’t plan on seeing Jackson here.
“I really am sorry Devin. Really.”
I went to walk away as he grabs my hand to get my attention and says, “It’s cool Avery, let me at least walk you to your car.” Not wanting to say anything else because my emotions are on overload, I shake my head yes.
Just as we open the door to leave a familiar voice says, “Hello Avery.” Those two words hit me hard and I try my hardest not to cry. Not here in this restaurant, not in front of Devin and sure as hell not in front of Jackson. I cannot let him see me like this.
I turn to look at him. I stand there for a minute and realize just how much I miss him. Needing to get out of here, I shake my head no and walk out the door. Devin is right behind me with his hand on my lower back.
We get to my car and he pulls me in for a hug and tells me to call him if I need him and that he had a good time. I simply reply that I will, not trusting my voice to say anything else. I’m already on the verge of crying.
Just as I’m about to start my car, there is a knock on my window. I look up thinking it’s Devin making sure I’m okay, but I’m wrong. It’s Jackson. I look at him through the window for a few minutes and start to cry. All my feelings for him resurface. I thought I was fine, but seeing him, I know that I am far from fine.
He pulls the door open and kneels down to my level. “Sunshine?” he asks in a low voice. That one word is all it takes to make me cry even harder. I am ugly crying and I am sure my makeup is running.
I haven’t seen him for a month and a half and then when I’m on a blind date he is there and he isn’t alone.
“What do you want Jackson?” I ask him, trying to sound mean. “What is it you want from me?”
“I want you, Avery. Just you,” he replies. I look at him like he has two heads. “No, you don’t Jackson. You made that more than clear the last time I saw you. I’m the last thing you want.”
“How do you know what I want Avery? You didn’t let me finish anything I wanted to say that night. You kept cutting me off. I wasn’t able to get a word in.” He says as he looks in my watery eyes.
“You’re such a liar Jackson. I’ve tried so hard to get over you and now I’m right back at square one. You didn’t stop me when I left and you haven’t contacted me, even if what you are saying is true. Don’t fuck with me Jackson. I’m really not in a good state right now. Go back to your date and just let me go.” I try to pull the door closed, but he still doesn’t budge.
“Sunshine, I haven’t called or come around because you were pretty upset that night and I figured you wanted to be left alone. If you actually would’ve let me talk and tell you why I stopped what we were doing you would know that-” I cut him off not wanting to hear more.
“You told me to leave Jackson. Do you not remember that part? I do. You told me we shouldn’t be doing what we were doing and to leave.” Just remembering that night causes more tears to fall.
“Avery, I didn’t mean it like that. I wanted us to stop before we got ahead of ourselves.” I give him a look. “I know we were way ahead of ourselves, Sunshine, but I did stop it for a good reason.”
“Oh yeah? What would that reason be Jackson? Please tell me because now I’m dying to know.” I say to him sarcastically.
“I think I’m in love with you, Sunshine.” He simply says.
I whip my head back in his direction, stunned speechless. Did he just say what I think he said?
Chapter 26
After a minute, once his words sink in, I can finally speak. “You think you are in love with me? You don’t know for sure?” He goes to answer me and I continue, “How can you say you think you are in love with me when you were just in there with another woman?!” I say the last part angrily. How dare he say something like that? I don’t believe him. Whatever his game is, I’m not up to playing it.
“Are ya done?” He asks with a smirk. I want to slap it right off his face. Remembering I look a wreck, I start to wipe my eyes and pull myself together. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry anymore. Yeah, that thought went right out the window.
“If you are done cutting me off and ready to listen and let me explain everything, I will be more than glad to tell you, but if not, I’ll just leave.” Having an internal battle with myself, I tell him okay and he starts.
“First off, the woman inside, well I’m not with
her. That is Jules.” I must give him a funny look because he continues with, “My brother’s wife, my sister in law. Remember that night?” He emphasizes the word “that” and I know exactly what night he is talking about. “I told you how my brother and her were visiting and had Rhys overnight for practice? Well, they came into town about 2 weeks ago and are staying for a bit. The reason I am out with her is because she wanted to tell me some news and wants some help. She found out that she is pregnant and wants a special way to tell my brother. I was honored to know before he did and told her to just tell him, but because she really wants to surprise him, she came to me knowing how close we are, to help her plan something”
“Oh” is my reply. After all he just said, that’s all I can say. I thought he was with someone, like dating her. Now I feel like an ass.
“Now, about that night. I loved what was going on, Sunshine, trust me I did, but I didn’t want you to think that I just wanted to sleep with you. I wanted to show you that I really do care about you and have cared, since the second I saw you holding my son. I’ve seen the way you look at him with so much love, yet you don’t even know him. You simply held him as if he was your own and it made me feel things that I wasn’t used to feeling. It’s been just me and Rhys for a while, with the exception of my brother, and then you come along and make me feel things. I didn’t know how to deal with them. Then, the night you watched him I was having a good time with your brother and Colin, but all I kept thinking about was you taking care of my son. When you didn’t answer my messages, I started feeling as if something had happened. I knew you had everything under control, but after everything that happened with Rhys mother, I always think the worse.” He holds up his hand to keep me from saying anything and continues, “I will get into that too. Anyway, the night with your piece of shit ex, I took you back to my house to clean you up and I was going to lay it all on the line. I planned on telling you all of this; tell you everything I’d been thinking and wanting, but then you started to get pissed off and I just had to shut you up. I only meant to kiss you to shut you up and then tell you everything, but one thing lead to another.”
Found By You (The Found Series) Page 9