I watch Dallas, barely tall enough to see him over the top of the Jeep. His body is locked, frozen in fear that if he moves, Mikey will pull the trigger. His hands are raised, declaring surrender as his petrified eyes remain on us.
I run cold, chills traveling up my spine. Goosebumps rise on my arms, and tears threaten to gather in my eyes. Fear settles heavily in the pit of my stomach. I feel as though I am going to be sick.
The gun jabs my head harshly, causing Dallas to jolt and side step, in attempt to get around the Jeep and to my aid.
“Huh-uh! Stay put, Dally, or I’ll blow her brains out.” I flinch at his words, letting out a whimper as scenes flicker through my mind of Mikey shooting me.
This is not how I want to die. Not like this, in cold blood…so young. Not in front of Dallas, where he is rendered helpless and scared.
I feel the gun lift from my temple, and I look out of the corner of my eye to see Mikey tap the barrel of the handgun to his forehead. “You know I have been following her every move, Dallas. You know I never let her out of my sight. I always have people watching…so naturally, I would follow you two here. How disappointing.” Mikey lets out a sigh. “You finally figured out someone who would spill the secret…before I did too. How clever. Shame I’ll have to kill Shelby now, too.”
I look back at Dallas. As Mikey continues with his monologue, with his gun away from my head, Dallas quickly slides over the hood of the car so he’s directly in front of us. Mikey, just as fast, takes a step back. The hand on my neck forces me to follow as the gun again is placed at my temple, harshly digging into my skin.
Dallas halts, his eyes wide as he stares at me.
“Now, Dally. Don’t be rash. I will kill her. I’ve been wanting to kill her since I was six years old.” Mikey lets out a disappointed, heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging dramatically.
He’s psychotic.
“But I will not be the one to kill her. No. No. It’s going to be you who gets to kill precious Kayla.” Dallas harshly glares behind me at Mikey.
“You’re delusional. I will never harm her.” Dallas’s voice is thick with anger and fear. I have never seen him in so much turmoil.
The fact that he’s scared only frightens me more. I can live with the fact that Mikey wants to kill me. I can live with the fact that there is a gun to my head. But to see Dallas so afraid leaves me terrified. He is my safe haven. He is my hope. And to see him without hope…it’s almost as if Mikey has already pulled the trigger.
“I know Kyle haunts you. I know you see him, just as I saw my father after he died. That’s what this is all about, right? To bring your kid brother peace? You can’t do that until I am locked behind bars.” My blood runs cold at his words.
Anne was right. Mikey did see my father at the basketball game. Mikey went through the same thing Dallas and I are going through. He knew all along that Kyle is wandering, stuck in limbo.
If he truly cared for Kyle, how could he let this happen?
Dallas gulps, almost as if realization is dawning on him. “You have a choice now, Dallas. Kyle or Kayla.”
“No!” I thrash against his hold, trying to get out of his grasp.
What kind of monster would do this? How could he make Dallas choose between us?
Mikey struggles with keeping a hold on me, forcing me to turn around to face him. Mikey clutches the gun in his fist and twists his hand. He swings forcefully, his knuckles colliding with the side of my face. My head falls sideways on impact, causing me to stumble.
Dizzy, Mikey turns me back around, and with a strong hand on my shoulder, he shoves me to my knees. The gun is now placed at the back of my head. I look up at Dallas, tears welling in my eyes.
Please, God, I pray, don’t make him choose.
“You choose Kyle, I will shoot Kayla here and now. I will turn myself in. I will bring Kyle the peace he deserves. And if you choose Kayla, you have to promise to drop your vendetta and let me go.”
“How do I know that you will keep your word, on either of my choices? If I choose Kyle, how do I know you will turn yourself in? And if I choose Kayla, how do I know you won’t kill her?” Dallas asks, his voice low, venom dripping off his tongue as he glares at Mikey.
“I guess you can’t know for sure that I will turn myself in. But Kayla has always been the one I wanted dead. Killing her has been my purpose for years. I’ll have nothing left…and how do you know I won’t kill her if you choose Kayla over your own brother? That’s simple. I have been given plenty of opportunities to kill her, and I haven’t.” I hear Mikey rustle behind me, and I begin to panic, wondering what he’s fumbling for in his pocket.
Suddenly, paper is thrown to the ground, cascading down and scattering in different directions. My eyes fall upon countless pictures of me. Some taken through my bedroom window, of me sleeping or changing. Some of me walking out of my house and to my car.
One of me kneeling in front of my father’s grave.
One of me walking to the bathroom at Emerson Creek.
One of me at the basketball courts, walking toward a drunken Dallas.
One of me sitting against the tree at school, during lunch with my eyes in a book.
Even one of me at Dairy Queen, talking with Dallas and an empty spot, where Kyle was standing.
He was tempted to shoot me with everyone standing there?
He really does have nothing to live for after he kills me. After I’m dead, he’s ready to go to prison. He’s ready to live the rest of his life behind bars.
These pictures prove that he will keep his word. He will turn himself in after I’m dead. Or he will refrain from killing me.
He clearly had the opportunity to do so, many times. But he hadn’t. This is all just a game to him. This is all just to make Dallas choose.
Was this really ever about me and my father?
Was there some sort of jealousy he had for Dallas?
“And if you choose Kayla and go back to your vendetta, it is abundantly clear that I am able to shoot her down at any moment.”
He has no shame.
I look up at Dallas. He is completely helpless. His blue eyes are dull with fear, and his hands are shaking by his side. He is utterly vulnerable, just as I am.
Mikey has dealt his cards correctly. He has a royal flush.
And it feels as if Dallas and I only have a pair.
“So, Dally. What is your decision?”
Dallas looks down at me, shaking his head. “Mikey, please…I love her.”
Mikey doesn’t say anything. He only presses the gun into my head, causing me to let out a gasp as I await the gunshot that will claim my life.
I’m not ready to die.
There is so much I have yet to do in life…I want to travel the world.
I want to see Katie make it to Julliard and perform.
I want to get married and let my mother dress me up in an obnoxious wedding dress.
I want to live the rest of my life with Dallas, with kids and a dog.
Maybe even a few horses, if I am really lucky.
Dallas drops to his knees in front of me, so our eyes are level. Tears are now in Dallas’s eyes as well. I wish I could brush them away.
“I love her, Mikey. Please don’t do this,” Dallas begs.
“Do you love her more than Kyle?”
He’s sick.
Dallas drops his head back to look up at Mikey. “It’s a different kind of love, Mikey. You can’t make me choose.”
“Do you want your kid brother to travel around Earth, lost and stuck forever?” Mikey asks Dallas.
“No. But I don’t want you to shoot her either!”
“You can’t have both, Dally! For once in your life, you don’t get what you want! If you don’t choose, then I will for you! And you know what my choice will be!” Mikey pushes the gun forward, causing me to bow my head and whimper at the pain and fear.
Tears stream down my face as I hear Dallas yell out, begging Mikey to stop.
Do the neighbors not hear us?
Can they not see what is happening?
Please, someone call the police.
“Pick, Dallas!” Mikey screams.
I lift my eyes to see Dallas. “It’s okay…” I whisper, nodding in encouragement.
Dallas shakes his head, a sob running through him. His jaw trembles as he stares into my eyes. “I love you,” he says softly. “I love you so much.”
Was he saying goodbye?
Or was he explaining his decision?
Dallas lifts his head, staring at Mikey with so much hatred. “I choose K—”
A loud siren interrupts Dallas, causing all three of us to jump. Mikey steps back, looking around as red and blue lights flash around us. “No…” he whispers.
I look at Dallas. He reaches for me, and I take Mikey’s hesitation as an opportunity to run toward Dallas, praying we will be able to get around the Jeep before he notices. “Kayla!” Mikey screams the same moment Dallas grabs my arm and yanks me toward him.
A gunshot rings through the air, and I freeze when cold pain ignites through my shoulder. I let out a gasp in pain, falling against Dallas. He catches me smoothly, holding me against his chest. “I got you. It’s going to be okay,” he says in my ear. I feel him lightly trail his hand up my spine, over to my shoulder where I wince in pain.
Dallas tenderly touches the bullet wound and pulls back his hand. “Oh God.” He breathes. I try to see what he’s looking at, but I don’t get a chance to. He sets me down on the ground and lunges for Mikey, all in the span of a few seconds. I roll to the side, hissing at the pain in my shoulder as I desperately watch as Dallas tackles Mikey to the ground.
“How.” Dallas grabs Mikey’s shirt collar and punches him square in the face. It reminds me of when he attacked David Wood at school. “Dare.” Punch. “You.” Punch. “Hurt.” Punch. “Her!” Punch.
“Sir, back away!” I hear a police officer yell.
Dallas drops Mikey’s collar, causing his head to fall harshly to the asphalt, his face covered in blood. I can see Mikey’s nose is broken, and his lips are split. Dallas scrambles off Mikey and moves to approach me, yet he is restrained by an officer.
“No! You have to let me go to her! Let me go!” I feel my body lifted and placed on a stretcher. I look up to see a paramedic leaning over me. “Let me go!”
“Sir, you must remain calm, or I will have to take you down to the station. She’ll be all right,” I faintly hear the tall, bald officer say to Dallas.
“Kayla!” Dallas yells as the paramedics lift me into the ambulance. I lift my head, straining to keep Dallas in my sight. “Kayl—” His scream is cut off by the doors of the ambulance shutting.
My head falls back against the stretcher, and my eyes zero in on the roof of the vehicle. Blood loss has made me tired, but I know that I will be all right. A bullet to the shoulder will not kill me; however, blood loss will.
But I am being taken care of now.
As a breathing mask is placed over my nose and mouth, I feel the world around me slipping away.
Chapter
Twenty-Nine
Lost
*Dallas*
January 20, 2016
“Kayla is in a medically induced coma. There was trauma to the head, and the blood loss was more extensive than we thought. We got the bullet out, and the area is clean. She’s stable right now. We just have to wait for her to wake up.”
The nurse told this to Mrs. Williams, Katie, and me four days ago. Since then, I have been stuck by her hospital bed. She hasn’t woken yet, not even a flutter of movement. She just lays there, bruised and cut, yet so beautiful.
I was selfish.
I was so selfish.
I heard the gun go off, and my blood ran cold. I caught her in my arms when she fell against me. I didn’t think the bullet hit her. I didn’t allow myself to think the worst.
Until she cried out in pain and I found myself tenderly touching her wound. Only when I saw blood coating my fingers did I see red. I attacked Mikey with so much malice and vengeance. I left Kayla lying on the ground, unattended, as I beat out all my pent-up rage on Mikey’s face.
I was selfish to leave her. To leave her scared on the ground. To leave her alone as they wheeled her into the ambulance. She was all alone as they drove her to the hospital.
Did she think she was going to die?
I thought she was going to die.
I thought she was going to be taken from me, just as Kyle had. I thought Mikey had succeeded…
What would I have done if she had died? There is no one else out there for me. There is only her.
The Williams stay with Kayla every night, never leaving her side until I come to relieve them at five in the morning. I told my mother I wasn’t going to attend school until she wakes up. She understood.
Everything happened so quickly.
After Mikey was taken to the station, Shelby testified and accused him of the murder of Kyle. He was then sentenced to life in prison, for murder and attempted murder.
It was all over. He was put away, and I would never have to see him again.
The school is giving me all the assignments that I am missing, though it isn’t necessary. The school year is almost finished, and my acceptance to University of Illinois is final.
School is the furthest thing from my mind. Even when Tyler and Anne come to help me with some of the assignments and check in on Kayla, I made it abundantly clear that I have no intention of finishing any of the homework. Not until Kayla opens her eyes.
Anne has come every day to spend a few hours with me or Kayla’s family. The love Anne has for Kayla is the love I had for Mikey, once upon a time.
While I’m glad everything is over, that he’s paying for his crime, I am also suffering from a feeling of loss. My heart seems to be missing a piece, and I know it’s the part I had reserved for Mikey.
He had been by my side since we were children. I leaned on him during troubling times, as he had leaned on me. He made me laugh when I thought I couldn’t. He was a second son to my mother…a second brother to both Kyle and me.
Even my grandparents adored him.
And now, he is out of my life. Forever.
I love him.
And I hate him.
I scoot my chair closer to Kayla’s bed and reach forward and brush hair away from her forehead. I run my hand over the top of her head, her hair so soft under my touch.
“I’m so sorry, Kayla. I should have been able to protect you,” I whisper. I look down at her left hand, smiling softly at the chipped teal nail polish.
I love how she doesn’t worry about her appearance.
I lay my head down, resting it on her hand. I place a kiss to her fingers before I look up at her sleeping face.
I had made a decision in my head.
I thank God that the siren was able to cut me off. However, the guilt is eating me alive.
How could I have chosen between the two of them?
But I did.
A tear rolls down my cheek as I look up at her.
I can never lose her.
The door is opened, and I look over to see the nurse walking in. She gives me a soft smile as she makes her way over to the catheter. I decide not to watch, giving my sleeping beauty the respect she needs. I am sure she would be devastatingly embarrassed if she knew that I was watching.
The nurse then changed the IV drip and went to the door. “You should get something to eat…We can bring up food for you, dear,” she said.
I lift my head from Kayla’s hand and look at the older lady. She has a similar appearance to my mother. Blonde hair, dark brown eyes, mid-forties. She looks tired from her shift, but her expression is endearing as she tries to coax me to eat.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I’m not sure Kayla would approve of waking up and seeing you half-starved,” the nurse says, a smile playing on her lips.
Oh, she’s clever. Using the girl I love against me.
“I’ll just take a bowl of soup and
crackers. Please.” I sigh in defeat.
The nurse’s smile broadens as she nods her head and exits the room. Looking back up at Kayla, I rest my head on her hand again. “Why won’t you wake up?” I whisper, rubbing my thumb along her cheekbones.
They are much more prominent, with the lack of food. She has lost weight…not enough to cause an alarm.
It has been another two days. A total of six days since the accident.
I am sitting where I have been sitting for the last six days. My chair is pressed up against Kayla’s bed, her hand clasped tightly within my own.
Anne, Mrs. Williams, and Katie are sitting on the couch, talking quietly amongst themselves.
“Dallas, dear. When was the last time you went home?” Mrs. Williams asks. I rub my thumb over Kayla’s knuckles, staring at her peaceful, sleeping face before I turn to gaze over my shoulder.
“I stopped by to get a few things yesterday.” A few nights ago, I began spending my nights on the couch, not able to be away.
If Kayla woke up without me there, I would hate myself. I did this to her…I needed to be here when she awoke.
“Are you hungry? Perhaps I could go to Portillos and get us all something to eat?” Mrs. Williams asks.
I bite my bottom lip. I haven’t really had an appetite. I eat a bowl of soup with crackers every day, for the nurse practically demands it. Other than that, I find myself slipping in and out of slumber.
Whenever my eyes fall closed, I jerk awake, only for my eyes to close again. It is a vicious cycle, but I won’t allow myself to fall asleep.
“Katie, Anne. Would you come with me?” Mrs. Williams stands, gathering her purse and car keys. She walks over and runs a hand through my hair, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. “I’ll bring you a hot dog,” she whispers.
Anne, Katie, and Mrs. Williams leave together. I am again surrounded by silence as I lay my head on Kayla’s hand.
A quick nap wouldn’t hurt.
I place a kiss to her arm and let out a sigh, closing my eyes.
Sleep finds me almost immediately. I’m simply exhausted, and a few moments of sleep is well needed.
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