“Look, I accept your apology. Let’s not argue again. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Like what?”
Hope cast around in her mind for an idea. “How about…how about you tell me about your family? I’ve never heard you talk about them.”
Oliver considered. “OK, I’ll tell you about my family if you tell me about yours.”
And he surprised her yet again. “You already know my family.”
“Not really. What’s the story with your nieces? Why are they staying with you and Joseph?”
That was a subject she didn’t care to broach. “No way; you first. Do you have any siblings?”
He hesitated and then replied. “No, I’m an only child.”
Hope frantically tried to think of something to ask him that would keep his mind off the triplets. “Oliver is an unusual name. Is it a family name?”
He grimaced. “Actually, my name is a mistake.”
“What do you mean?”
“My mother loves Charles Dickens. She wanted me to be named David, for her favorite Dickens character, David Copperfield.”
“So what happened?”
“I’m told that my father was so excited when I was born, that he couldn’t remember which Dickens book was her favorite when it was time to fill out the birth certificate. He named me after Oliver Twist instead of David Copperfield.”
“Couldn’t they change it?”
“My mother refused. She said what was done was done. Besides, it gave her something to hold over my dad’s head. She claimed he did it on purpose.”
“Do you think he did?”
Oliver shrugged. “Maybe. My parents never got along very well. They divorced when I was little.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. How horrible for you.”
“My dad married again twice. Neither of those marriages lasted either.”
“What about your mother?”
“She was soured on the idea of marriage. As far as I know, she’s never even had a date since the divorce.”
Hope couldn’t think of what to say in response to this. She felt terrible for even bringing it up.
“My Uncle Gabriel moved in with us when I was twelve. It was the summer before I started junior high, and I was really dreading it.”
“Why?”
“I was, to put it simply, a geek. I was a bookworm with zero coordination and possibly less than zero social skills. My mom lived in the world of books and rarely socialized after the divorce. My Dad didn’t really have a lot of time to spend with me in between marrying and divorcing his two other wives.”
“So what did Gabriel do to help you?”
“Lots of things. For one, he paid attention to me. For another, he taught me about sports. If it weren’t for Gabe I wouldn’t have even been on a sports team in high school, never mind have won a scholarship in track. Sports helped me in a lot of areas of life.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Being on a team taught me all the usual things like cooperation and responsibility, but it also gave me a chance to learn and practice social skills and gave me confidence.”
“Is that why you became a gym teacher?”
He nodded. “I love being able to teach kids the same things that Gabe taught me.”
“Your uncle must be so proud of you. You are an absolutely wonderful teacher. Anyone can see how much you care about your students.”
“I hope Gabe is proud of me. He passed away several years ago.”
“Wow. I’m sorry Oliver.” This was the longest conversation they had shared since college. And even then, Oliver had never said anything about his family. Hope was touched that he chose to confide in her. She reached over and took his hand.
The moment she touched him, Oliver stiffened. Hope quickly snatched her hand away. Their eyes locked and he held her gaze for a long moment before he said, “My uncle came to live with us because his wife kicked him out. The thing about my family, Hope, is that they’re all lousy at marriage. But I don’t intend to follow in their footsteps.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to get married. Not ever.”
He was warning her off, that was plain. Hope rose, intending to leave, but just then Pansy appeared with the lemonade and cookies. She sat back down and allowed Pansy to serve her, not even offering to help. Choking down the lemonade and cookie as fast as she could, Hope made her excuses and left.
Oliver watched Hope’s back as she fled from Pansy’s yard. He quickly finished as well and retreated to his own house. Once inside he wandered around aimlessly. He’d hurt her. He thought he’d make things better if he apologized. But then she’d drawn him into conversation, and he’d ended up telling her things he hadn’t told anyone in years. Like the story of how he got his ridiculous name. She was so easy to talk to that he hadn’t realized how much he’d said until she touched him. Then, he knew they were connecting on a far too intimate level. To stop it, he’d ended up hurting her.
Oliver reminded himself that it was for her own good. But still, he hated himself for slipping up and causing her pain. Maybe he should start looking for another job. Maybe Orchard Hill wasn’t the right place for him. Because it seemed like no matter what he did, he couldn’t stay away from Hope, and it was becoming clear to him that he didn’t have the willpower to resist her forever.
****
The following Saturday the entire softball team was invited to Andrew’s for a cookout. Hope went reluctantly, with Sarah and Abby. Her heart had felt heavy since her conversation with Oliver.
She didn’t want to admit it to anyone except herself, but her crush on Oliver had never gone away. In fact, the more she got to know him, the more her feelings for him grew. It would be better if she just kept her distance from him, which she couldn’t do until after the softball tournament at least, which meant a couple more weeks of suffering. She couldn’t let Abby or the team down by quitting.
The food was good and plentiful. The rest of the group was happy and energetic. Laughter filled the air, along with the smell of grilling brats and hamburgers. Hope just couldn’t seem to get into the spirit, though.
After a while, tired of pretending to be carefree, she slipped away from the crowd, to a secluded corner of Andrew’s yard. There, behind the cover of a lilac tree, she settled on a bench and gazed up at the stars.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been there when she realized she wasn’t alone. At some point, Oliver had come over. He stood by the tree watching her.
Hope quickly wiped at her face, hoping he hadn’t noticed the stray tear there. “What do you want?”
He came forward and joined her on the bench. “I wanted to apologize for the other day.”
She turned away from him a little. It was dark, but she was still afraid he’d read the emotion in her eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You very politely warned me away. I got the message, and it’s all right.”
She figured he’d get up and leave then, but the silence stretched between them.
Finally, he said, “Hope, I don’t think you understand.”
“What’s not to understand? You don’t want a relationship with me. I can handle that. It’s not like…” her words almost choked her, but she forced them out, “not like I’m in love with you or something.”
“Stop making it sound like it’s your fault.”
She turned farther away from him. “There’s nothing more to talk about. I’m fine. You can go.”
“Hope, you think I told you that I don’t intend on getting married because I don’t like you. That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?”
He took her shoulders and turned her toward him. “No. I told you that because I do like you. I like you way too much.”
“How can you like someone too much?”
“Because…” His hands tightened, almost painfully, on her shoulders, and his voice grew rough. “Because if I let you get close, I’d do this.” He cupped the back of her head
in his hand and brought his lips to hers. Surprised, Hope froze as his mouth moved against hers. He brought his free hand up to caress her cheek.
“I would kiss you like this,” he whispered against her mouth, “and I wouldn’t want to stop, ever.”
Hope found herself slowly relaxing, responding to his kiss, her passion as great as his. She didn’t protest when his hands slid around her waist and he pulled her closer, kissed her harder.
Finally with a shudder, he broke the kiss. “I can’t do this, Hope. It’s wrong. I know I’ll end up hurting you.”
Hope slid away from him, her mind whirling with questions. “Why do you say you’d hurt me?”
“I’m serious about my family being bad at marriage. I’ve never had good role models for it, and I don’t think I’d be any better than my parents were. It would be wrong of me to…to get involved with you, knowing this about myself.”
“So, you’re trying to be noble and save me from falling in love with you?” Of all the stupid, egotistical…
“Yes, now you understand.”
“I understand that you’re a coward. It’s not me you’re trying to protect. The way you just kissed me…Well, let’s just say that I hardly think your own heart is unaffected.”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you, but that doesn’t change anything.”
She shoved his hands away from her. “You’re certain I’d fall in love with you? What if you’re wrong and I don’t care about you at all?”
“You aren’t going to convince me of that after the kiss we just shared.”
“So you’re going to do the noble thing and just bow out now.”
“What’s wrong with that?” They were speaking in whispers so the others couldn’t hear, but there was no mistaking the anger in their voices.
“What’s wrong with that, Oliver, is that you’re giving up on something without even trying. There’s always risk involved with anything worth having or worth doing. I didn’t take you for the kind of man that shied away from a challenge.”
Hope rose to leave him, but then she stopped, leaned down, and kissed Oliver just as ardently as he’d kissed her a few moments before. She stepped back just as his hands came up to rest at her waist.
“I’m sorry you don’t think I’m worth it Oliver,” she whispered, and then walked away.
****
While she and Oliver had been talking, something had happened, Hope realized. There was an excited buzz going through the crowd and people had gathered around Andrew and Faith.
“There you are,” said Sarah, popping up in front of Hope and making her jump. “Where did you disappear to?”
“I just…just needed a little quiet. What happened?”
“Andrew and Faith have announced their engagement.” Sarah’s face was lit up with excitement for her friends.
“What? That was fast.”
“Not if you remember all the years Faith spent pining for the big dummy,” Sarah replied.
Normally Hope doubted if anyone would refer to Andrew that way, but it seemed where Faith was concerned, he’d been pretty slow on the uptake.
“You’re right. I’m happy for them.”
“Let’s go congratulate them. I’m dying to see Faith’s ring up close.”
“You go ahead. I’m going to grab another soda first.”
She was happy for Faith and Andrew, but right now she was also in grave danger of feeling sorry for herself. It was best if she took a few moments to get it together. There were coolers filled with ice and drinks, but Hope slipped into Andrew’s kitchen and took a soda from the refrigerator instead. Closing the door, she leaned her forehead against the cool metal and took two deep breaths. Then she prayed for strength.
She didn’t feel better, but she felt like she could face someone else’s happiness while her own seemed unattainable.
TITLE
Orchard Hill: volume Two
Chapter 5
Regret filled Oliver’s chest and made it hard for him to breathe as he lay staring at the ceiling. Yet another sleepless night because of Hope Velasquez. What was he going to do? He should never have kissed her. Why had he kissed her? He certainly hadn’t intended for that to happen. Now, he couldn’t deny, even to himself, that he was in love with her.
He’d never had a problem keeping his promise to himself that he wouldn’t marry. He’d dated often, but never anyone who was a threat to his vow. Hope was more than a threat. She was a major stumbling block, the spear that had found the chink in his armor.
He thought about the kiss, momentarily distracted by the sweetness of the memory in spite of the turmoil in his heart. He couldn’t go back and change things, so he promised he would never forget kissing her—or her kissing him. Maybe the memory would lessen the pain.
He looked at the clock and decided it was time for an early morning run. Four o’clock was very early, but there was no use trying to sleep, so he might as well be up doing something.
He reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, and as he did so his gaze fell on Gabe’s Bible. He hesitated, but didn’t pick it up. Instead, he got out of bed and rummaged in the dim light for his running clothes.
As his feet pounded along the dark pavement, he thought about Hope’s accusation of cowardice. Did she have a point? Having seen firsthand the pain and heartbreak that came with divorce, he felt he had a right to be wary, especially if it was on her behalf as well as his own.
He ran until his mind was blissfully silent, and then went home to get ready for church.
At the beginning of worship, Pastor Isaac went over the announcements. He drew special attention to the prayer requests, asking everyone to participate in praying for those in need. Oliver read over the list and was glad he didn’t recognize any of the names. Maybe he should pray for them anyway. It had been a really long while since he’d said a prayer for anyone, and he wasn’t even sure if God would listen to his prayers. Maybe it was better to leave the praying to someone who knew what they were doing. Flipping the bulletin back to the order of the service, he forgot all about the prayer requests.
After the service, he waded through the crowd and out into the gathering space for the usual round of coffee and bars. He was getting to know some of the regulars. Playing on the softball team helped with that. Making a circuit of the room, Oliver stopped and talked with Riley and his brother, Ian, and Jeff Bradley. He spoke to Andrew briefly, offering his congratulations on the engagement, and then stepped aside so that others could offer their good wishes.
As he moved away, someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning, he saw that it was Joseph, Hope’s brother. Joseph indicated that he wanted Oliver to follow him into an empty classroom off of the gathering space.
He didn’t really know Hope’s brother, didn’t think they’d ever had a conversation. He wondered what Joseph wanted to talk about, but wasn’t kept in suspense very long. As soon as the door closed behind them, Joseph confronted him. “I want to know what’s going on with you and my sister.”
Oliver raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Nothing.” He thought about adding that they were just friends, but that wasn’t really true.
“I heard that the two of you were seen making out at Andrew’s party last night.”
“Who did you hear that from?” Oliver seriously doubted that Hope had told him.
“Let’s just say you weren’t as secluded as you thought. So what are your intentions toward my sister?”
“I have no intentions toward Hope. The kiss was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
Joseph crossed his arms over his chest. “Somehow I’m not comforted by that statement.”
“Look, I know you don’t know me, but what can I do? There’s no way I can prove anything to you this instant.”
“I guess you can’t. But listen, Hope doesn’t need someone who’ll make empty promises to her and break her heart. She’s dealing with enough already.”
“Believe me, I didn’t make any promises to her.” Oliver m
et Joseph’s angry stare with a steady gaze and refused to back down.
****
Hope cruised the refreshment table, looking for something that would awaken her absent appetite. After last night’s debacle, her stomach seemed to be filled with lead.
Jordan Schmidt oozed up beside her. “All alone this morning, Hope?”
She tried to move away without revealing how uncomfortable Jordan made her feel. “No. I’m here with my family, as usual.”
“So where’s Oliver?”
Orchard Hill Volume Two Page 12